[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Happy New Year to all of you! I hope 2013 will treat you well. Thank you for taking the time to read my stories. It means a lot to me.

FAQ's

How old is Erica?

She's 28.

Did Bella ever have braces?

No, because our girl had to go through enough painful medical treatments in her life. So, her teeth are naturally perfect.

**19**

My throat feels sore from crying. The therapy sessions are so terribly exhausting for me. It's probably a good thing that Alice hasn't come with me today. It hurts so badly to rip open all the old wounds.

Zafrina is patient. She lets me cry and yell until I have no more tears left inside of me.

"How are you feeling now?" she asks, pushing the box with the tissues over to me. I sniff and blow my nose. Whatever is left of my make-up is smeared around my eyes. I will have to fix it before I go to pick up Andy from Edward's place.

"Are you angry at your father?"

"A bit, I'm more like…horribly sad. I'd rather not think about my past anymore. It's so painful."

"You need to learn to let go and accept the things in your life that you can't change anymore."

"Can you help me to forget?"

She smiles and shakes her head at me. "I can help you to deal with what has been. Do you think you can live with that?"

I sigh and clear my throat. "I'll try to."

"That sounds good to me. Our time is up now. I see you and your wife on Wednesday for your couple's therapy."

"Alice and I are flying to Dallas on Wednesday. She has a meeting with some rich woman down there who wants to buy some of her paintings."

"Good, good. Senna will arrange another appointment then. Try to have some fun while you're in Texas."

After telling Zafrina goodbye, I try my best to rub off the trails of black mascara from my cheeks. Why do they call this stuff waterproof when it isn't? I apply some concealer and eye-liner and brush through my hair. This is as good as it gets, I whisper at the woman in the mirror when I'm finished.

I reach Edward's apartment half an hour later and my nerves have calmed down again. I want to be happy. No, I will be happy. I am loved.

"Mommy, you're back!" Andy calls when Edward opens the door.

"Did you miss me?" I ask him, kneeling down in front of him.

"A bit, but Uncle Edward let me watch TV all the time. It was fun."

I stand up and roll my eyes at Edward. He knows I don't like it when he parks the kid in front of the screen when he's babysitting.

We walk into the chaos that is supposed to be his kitchen. Edward has a housekeeper but it seems like that woman has run off weeks ago.

"Do you want a beer?" he suggests, lifting two bottles out of the fridge.

I shake my head. "Do you have water?"

"Sure, princess, whatever you want. Andy, why don't you get your coloring books from upstairs?"

As soon as my little son is out of sight he lifts the beer to his mouth and takes a gulp. My hands tremble. Drinking some of that beer would make me more relaxed, wouldn't it?

I don't want to drink though. Alice would be so disappointed if I can't manage to stay sober.

"Can I ask you something?" Edward croaks nervously.

"Sure,"

"But you have to promise that you won't take it the wrong way." he starts, taking another mouthful of beer. He seems tensed somehow.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no, it's not. I'm just…I'm just…crap, do you think it's possible to suddenly turn gay?"

"You think you're gay? Is that a joke?"

"Do I look like I'm laughing? I never liked men and you know it's not like I didn't have my chance to…fool around."

He's right. Edward is the kind of guy who gets tons of attention from both sexes. Still, I don't get why he's asking about this now.

"Why do you think you could be gay? Have you run out of women to sleep with?"

"Stop making jokes. This is not funny for me, Bella. Vicky, she…oh crap, I think she made me gay and now I can't stop thinking about her."

"Vicky made you what?"

"We had some drinks. She was feeling pretty low and then one thing lead to another."

"You had sex…like with her?"

"See, I know you'd be judging."

"I'm not judging. I'm just surprised."

"I am not gay."

I take a step back and inhale sharply through my front teeth. "Do you see me as guy?"

"Why are so mad now? This has nothing to do with you! This is about me, about who I've been my whole life."

"Vicky is like me. If sleeping with her makes you question whether you are straight…god damn it, Cullen!"

With a few sturdy steps I walk over to the stairs and call. "Andy, come down now! We're leaving."

Edward places his hand on my shoulder but I push it off. "Don't touch me."

"Tell your Uncle goodbye." I say icily before I pull Andy outside with me.

Back home, Alice has managed to burn our dinner because she forgot to take it out of the oven while she was distracted with painting. At least she didn't burn down the house.

"I'm sorry, " she tells me, while she tries to turn off the smoke detector. "Do you want to order some pizza?"

"Chinese sounds better to me. Andy, please go and play a bit outside. I don't want you to inhale all this smoke."

"Yes, Mommy. Mommy, can I get a puppy? Vicky has a dog. He can do tricks."

"Maybe when you're older," Alice suggests, opening both kitchen windows to let some fresh air in.

"I don't want a pet. All the work will end up on me." I tell her.

"Andy will forget about it in couple of weeks. No need to worry."

"We'll see." I murmur, wrapping my arms around my wife. There is paint in her curls. "You need to wash your hair, honey. I can help you."

"You haven't washed my hair in forever."

"I know. I'll try to make up for it." I whisper, pulling her closer to me. "Do you know how much I love you for loving me?"

"You let me come back after I left. That must mean you love me more than I deserve it." Alice states before I brush my lips gently over hers. I want to lift her up on the kitchen table and kiss every inch of her soft skin. Later, I tell myself, circling my thumb down her spine. We'll have enough time for that while we're in Texas. Zafrina told me to have some fun there, didn't she?