The ceremony ended quickly and in an unspectacular fashion. The monument was set by the lakeside, and the Minister had asked for silence. The occasional sniffle broke the quiet, but after the two minutes of contemplation had passed Kingsley solemnly thanked everyone for their attendance and invited them back to the castle for a meal. The crowd broke off in small groups, some were holding soft conversations but others continued in mute grief.
Andromeda turned to the rest of the group. "Well, I really should get going. Little Teddy here is bound to wake any minute," she started, and almost on cue the baby boy screwed up his face and started wailing. The sound was deafening after the quiet of the ceremony, and it took a moment for them to get him settled down. When he was finally back in his pram, Andromeda gave a tired sigh. "Some days I can't decide if I'm too old to raise a baby or too young to be a grandmother," she said, but there was a twinkle in her eye that took the edge off her words.
"Nonsense, you're doing wonderfully Andromeda," Molly soothed. "Do come by some day this week for dinner. I insist."
Andromeda gave her a grateful smile. "Thank you, Molly, and thank you for helping to look after Teddy today, as well. Harry," she said, turning to look at him, "would you like to come visit us this Saturday? I need to start with Dora and Remus' arrangements, and your presence would be a welcome reprieve."
"I'd love to," he said quietly. "I'll see you then."
Much to Harry's surprise, the stately woman gave him a quick hug before heading off, pushing along Teddy's pram. The Weasleys started made to follow, but Kingsley intercepted Harry before he could join them. Harry thought it was lucky, as had completely forgotten the man's request.
"I just need to borrow Harry a moment, Molly," Kingsley assured the lingering redheads. As the family walked back to the castle, the Minister took Harry's arm and guided him back to a patch of grass near the monument. "Just a few things to discuss, Harry. But first let's find Professor McGonagall."
The Headmistress was in a conversation with a family Harry didn't recognise, but Kingsley caught her eye and she indicated she would join them shortly. The Minister nodded at her and turned to look out over the lake. Harry followed him.
"For the moment, we can discuss the arrangement for Professor Snape," Kingsley said, staring into the distance. "We were unable to find next-of-kin, but we did discover that his parents, Tobias and Eileen Snape, are buried in Cokeworth. We had originally been planning to bury him next to Professor Dumbledore, but the idea has met with plenty of resistance. I don't expect many of the Hogwarts students will remember him fondly, either," He turned to look at Harry again. "We are still in the process of commissioning a portrait for the Headmistress' office, so we cannot ask Snape himself. With no one to claim him, I offer you the decision of where he will be laid to rest. You have mentioned the he loved your mother, though I find it hard to believe Severus would be keen on Godric's Hollow."
Harry matched the older man's wry grin, "Yeah, I doubt my dad would be happy, either." Harry thought for a while before saying, "And what if I refuse the offer?"
"Then the Ministry will take control of his funds and estate, and he will be buried alongside his mother."
Harry nodded, and made his choice. "Bury him here," he said quietly. "Give him a small stone next to Professor Dumbledore's tomb. He defied Riddle as much as any of us."
Kingsley sighed. "Very well, it will be done. Though it won't be a popular decision. Do you have any requests for what to do with his assets?"
He thought for a moment. "Can we sell the house and donate everything to the Hogwarts student fund?"
Kingsley brightened considerably. "That's an excellent idea, Harry," the man said, "and it should placate the dissenters nicely. Well done!"
"Mr. Potter, Minister, we seem to be meeting fairly regularly," came McGonagall's voice, and Harry turned toward her as she joined them.
Harry took a moment to really look at the witch and the wizard who stood before him. McGonagall looked as composed as ever, but there was a slight redness around her eyes that betrayed her sorrow and loss. Kingsley was stood equally straight, his demeanor resolute, but Harry could see the toll of the past few days weighed heavily on the man's shoulders. He felt a stirring of kinship with the two of them, despite their differences in age. These two people had not only fought alongside him in the Battle, but they had also endured the same demands on their time in the aftermath.
"Thank you, Headmistress," Kingsley began, "This will not take long–"
"Pish-posh, Kingsley. No need for formalities," she said kindly. "Now, what did you wish to discuss with Mr. Potter?"
Kingsley cleared his throat and looked between the two of them. "Since Hogwarts has been cleared for reopening, I wanted to speak with both of you," he explained. "I know it has only been a couple of days, Harry, but have you given any thought to your future?"
Harry's breath caught and he felt his eyes widen. "Er... Well, no," he managed to stammer out, "not really. That is.." He paused for breath, trying to sort out his thoughts. "Honestly, two days ago I wasn't sure I was going to have a future."
The man's dark eyes softened. "It's okay," Kingsley soothed, "I'm not asking you to decide now. I do, however want to give you some options to consider. Am I right in believing that Harry would be invited to complete his seventh year at Hogwarts, Minerva?"
"Of course," McGonagall answered immediately, meeting Kingsley's gaze. "Potter is an exemplary student and a credit to this school, Minister." She then looked at Harry and gave him one of her signature smiles, "Should he choose to return, he certainly will not be held in contempt for his absence these past two terms. They would be filed under, shall we say, extenuating circumstances? After all, I did make a promise to do everything within my power to help this young man become an Auror."
Harry grinned at her, but grew pensive as he considered her words. "What do you mean, 'should I choose to return,' Professor?"
Kingsley answered for her. "It is that exact subject I want you to consider, Harry," he said. "You have done more than your share in the past several years, but I can quite frankly say the Ministry is in shambles at the moment. We need help and if you're willing, well, I'm quite sure we could overlook a lack of N.E.W.T.s and enroll you directly in the Auror programme."
Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows and Harry couldn't help but agree. He could be an Auror as soon as he wanted! It would seem a little redundant to for them to ask for my qualifications, he thought dryly.
Kingsley continued without waiting for him to reply. "Again, I'm not asking you to make this decision now. I believe we would benefit greatly from your help, but the Auror office will still be there in a years' time should you decide to return to school. I will, of course, also be making this offer to three of your friends; Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, and Mr. Longbottom. All of you are of age and have more than proven yourselves. Any other students who fought in the Battle would only need to submit their name for consideration, as well," he added with a smile.
Harry's mind was in chaos. It was a lot of information to take in. Before he could even being to formulate a reply, however, Headmistress spoke up.
"Take your time, Harry," she said gently, looking him straight in the eye. "We do not ask you to make up your mind quickly or to take this decision lightly. You have more than earned some time to rest. The world has asked far too much of you, over the last year especially. Whether you choose to return to Hogwarts, join the Aurors, or even take a year for yourself, I want you to know that we are all very grateful. As your Head of House, I am incredibly proud of you, Harry. No one will think any less of you, whatever you decide."
Harry swallowed, and had to blink back tears before he responded. "Thank you, Professor," he choked out. Clearing his throat, he snorted and added, "Though I doubt I could stand doing nothing for a whole year."
Professor McGongall chuckled, and Kingsley gave a small smile before moving the conversation on. "Only two more things to think about, Harry, I promise," he said. "First, and tied to the last subject, Minerva and I have agreed that regardless of whether you are at school or with the Ministry, we would be happy for you to continue your work with the DA's weekly sessions."
"What does the DA have to do with anything?" Harry asked.
"Your 'study group' proved to be incredibly well-prepared," Kingsley said seriously. "Professor McGongall has already given permission to make it an official school club, and we figured we would ask you to remain as its primary instructor. Either way, you will be working with the new Defense instructor, whoever that will prove to be."
"You can refuse, of course," McGongall interjected, "but from what Mr. Longbottom and Miss Weasley told me, you were an excellent teacher. You may consider joining Hogwarts as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor in the future."
"Only one last thing," Kingsley said quickly, putting a steadying hand on Harry's shoulder. He was correct in seeing that Harry was nearly overwhelmed, "We are beginning the interrogations of the surviving Death Eaters, and we need accurate accounts of their various crimes. We need you to stand witness in their trials, or at least provide written testimony. Before you leave today I will give you an official list of the accused. You may also provide us with more names, if you find we've missed anyone. This is the only request I cannot allow you to reject, I'm afraid. Your input will undoubtedly be essential to these trials."
Harry grimaced at Kingsley, but nodded determinedly. The rest of the conversation had made his head whirl, but this list sounded like something he could do, something he needed to do.
Harry once again walked back to the castle with Kingsley and Professor McGonagall in silence. Unlike last time, Harry was feeling neither upbeat nor peaceful. Its hard to believe that was little more than a day ago, he marveled. So much had happened in the past twenty four hours.
Between the two of them, the new Minister and Headmistress had given Harry a lot to think about. His brain seemed fit to burst with all of the decisions he was supposed to make. In some ways, though, their conversation had helped. While there was way too much information for him to process, he had unconsciously began to separate the decisions into different groups, filing them away for further consideration.
Kingsley seemed to pick up on Harry's mood. "I'm sorry to burden you with so many things, my young friend," he said quietly. "Ever since I became Minister, t seems like I'm being asked to be in multiple places at once as well. Go back to the Weasleys, Harry, and take some time with your thoughts. I'll make sure you receive the list I mentioned. Also, send me an owl later to tell me when you will be available to attend Snape's funeral."
Harry gave him a grateful nod. There was so much on his mind, he had already almost forgotten his decision about the former Potions Master. It'll be a miracle if I remember everything, he thought, and snorted softly. At this rate he'd have to ask Hermione to help him make a list.
Once Harry rejoined the Weasleys lunch seemed to go by incredibly quickly. His conversation outside had felt so long that he was surprised to see the family was largely in the same mood as before. The most noticeable difference was Molly, who seemed to have perked up a bit upon meeting Andromeda and Teddy. She still didn't seem quite back to normal, but she was definitely less despondent.
Ron looked up at him and opened his mouth to ask what Kingsley had wanted, but Harry silenced him with a shake of his head. 'Later,' he mouthed, and was grateful when Ron simply nodded. Harry hardly knew how he felt about the whole situation, and he certainly didn't want to try to make sense of it all in front of everyone.
Before he knew it Harry was again stepping out of the fireplace at the Burrow. They'd been doing a lot of Floo travel, and he was reminded not for the first time that it was not his favorite means of transportation. He wasn't much more fond of apparating, though after doing so much of it the past year he decided he did prefer it to hurtling through fireplaces. I should probably get my license, he realised suddenly, we didn't have a chance before, and once Riddle took over the Ministry I couldn't very well have simply made an appointment. He chuckled at the thought.
Once everyone had arrived, the Weasleys quietly separated off to do different things. Charlie and Ron helped George back up to his room and provided a fresh silencing charm. Bill and Fleur made their way up to Bill's room on the first landing. Arthur said something about checking in with the Ministry, and Percy decided to accompany him, likely to verify whether or not he still had a job. Molly swept into the kitchen, Hermione and Ginny in her wake. Ginny, however, paused in the doorjamb and momentarily fixed Harry with a hard stare, once again tying his stomach in knots.
Harry sighed and plopped down on the sofa, pulling out the sheet of parchment that one of Kingsley's numerous secretaries left with him. The parchment listed every known Death Eater, Snatcher, or known associate of Lord Voldemort, as well as whether or not they were deceased, unaccounted for, or captured. The list came with instructions on how to indicate whether he was willing to provide written or verbal testimony, along with a short section on submitting additional names for investigation. It seemed simple enough, and Harry started his work.
Harry quickly found he was unable to focus for a couple of reasons. For one, if he was to provide eyewitness testimony of the crimes of the accused, he had to be sure it would be reliable. Unfortunately, this meant he had to scan back through his memories and determine whether or not he had actually seen these things happen. What he hadn't realised when he started was that doing it for each individual name meant he was subjecting himself to reliving some of the worst moments of his life over and over.
The second problem was that after trying to recall the horrors he had been subjected to a few times, his subconscious started trying to distract him. Equally annoying was how each time he tried to focus on a memory, the only images that popped into his mind were the wary, accusing stares he'd gotten from Ginny over the past couple of days. He wasn't sure how many hours he had sat there trying to work, but he could tell the afternoon light was beginning to wane, and his head was throbbing.
Why can't I get her out of my head? he groaned inwardly, Why can't she leave me alone? She's always there, nearly every time I turn around, and my heart tries to leap out of my chest just before sinking into my stomach. It's enough to drive a bloke mad. The words on the parchment blurred and he dropped his quill before leaning back and closing his eyes.
Why won't she say anything? Why can't I say anything? We just stand there, staring, and every time I try to open my mouth I get so scared and so bloody angry... I wish she'd just tell me to leave, he thought wearily. I wish she'd just get it over with so that I can stop wanting to kiss her, so that I can stop feeling guilty about wanting to kiss her.
He was certain she would eventually tell him to leave. He had dated her for two blissful weeks, broken up with her, supposedly to protect her, and then jumped into her arms last July. And then he had disappeared for nearly the entire year. The next time he'd seen her was at the Battle, where her family had suffered a terrible loss. He wasn't sure how she could stand to be in the same room as him. He opened his eyes lazily, the room out of focus. And yet I can still picture her, just standing there the doorway again.
Harry focused his eyes, and froze. It wasn't his imagination. She was actually standing in the doorway.
Some switch when off in his brain, and all of the sudden it was too much to take. He jumped to his feet, his jaw tight, his clenched fists shaking. He strode directly towards her, unsure if he wanted to scream at her or snog her senseless. He caught himself in time, pulled his eyes from her startled face and altered his course just before he would have ended up right in front of her. He swept past her and through the kitchen. He heard Hermione gasp and Molly say his name, but then he was out the back door.
Harry stalked over to the pond, ignoring the sound of the door opening again, and screamed.
He poured his rage, his fear, and his guilt into that one wordless, throat-tearing scream. His scream shattered the evening's silence, echoing through the orchard and across the fields. A startled flock of birds erupted from a distant pond, squawking their protests comically.
"Harry?" Ginny said uncertainly, and he rounded on her.
"WHAT, GINNY?" He shouted, and she flinched, but he hardly noticed. "WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?" With each word, Harry saw her eyes harden, and she set her jaw determinedly, but he continued to vent his frustrations.
"YOU JUST STAND AT A DISTANCE AND STARE, AND YOU SAY NOTHING! YOU CAN BARELY LOOK AT ME! I CAN SEE YOUR PAIN AND YOUR ANGER, BUT YOU WON'T COME OUT AND SAY IT! SO JUST SAY IT–" Harry's voice cracked, and his throat tightened up. He retched, but he forced himself to continue in a strangled voice, "So just say it, Gin. Because I know... and I can't stand to see you trying to pretend otherwise. You wish he was here and... And it should have been me..."
"Don't you say that."
Ginny was shaking her head, eyes shining, "Don't you ever say that," she hissed at him, catching her stride. "Harry James Potter, don't you ever say that! You think I'd trade your life for his?" There was a hysterical edge to her voice. "Do you think I'd swap you out, like your life is somehow worth less? Harry, how many times have the lot of us stood side by side and stared death in face? Watching Hagrid approach, your limp body in his arms... Thinking you were dead nearly tore me apart! And you think I'd rather that than, than..." She wiped the offending tears from her eyes and glared at him. She continued in a monotone, accusing voice. "I wouldn't rather have one of you over the other. I loved Fred. We all loved Fred. But Fred died, and at some point you have to listen to us and stop blaming yourself. There's not some kind of balance, you prat."
Harry was speechless. Her words had cut into him like hot knives, carrying the weight and the truth that it seemed only Ginny could make him understand so directly. He felt the reality of what she was saying penetrate his psyche painfully. She was right: he'd been using his guilt to shield himself from his grief.
She had managed to shatter his defenses, and he stood before her bare, tears flowing freely. It was in this vulnerable state that he found he was finally able to confront the fears he had refused to admit he was carrying for so long. "So you're not... mad?" he said fearfully.
"Mad at you?" Ginny said breathlessly. She inhaled deeply, and then exploded. "HARRY, I'M BLOODY FURIOUS WITH YOU! YOU LEFT ME! YOU DISAPPEARED TO MERLIN KNOWS WHERE AND PUT YOURSELF IN ALL SORTS OF DANGER!" she screamed, pausing only to suck in air, "AND I HAD NO IDEA WHERE YOU WERE, OR IF YOU WERE EVEN ALIVE! I SPENT NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, HOPING AGAINST HOPE TO HEAR SOME SHRED OF NEWS AND WEEPING WITH JOY EVERY TIME YOU DIDN'T TURN UP DEAD! AND THEN YOU BLOODY TURN UP OUT OF NOWHERE AT HOGWARTS AND I DON'T EVEN GET THE CHANCE... AND YOU DISAPPEAR, AND I'M BLOODY TERRIFIED AGAIN..."
Ginny started shaking, her breath coming in wet gasps. Harry took a stop toward her, but she didn't let him interrupt. "And then you were dead, and my brain stopped working... And I was fighting, and I no longer cared if we all died, I just wanted them to feel some measure of the pain I was feeling... and I heard Hagrid calling your name but I just couldn't bear to hope..." He pulled her into his arms, unable to soothe her, unable to do more than simply hold her tightly. She cried into his shoulder, and he rubbed her back absently.
Then, suddenly, she fisted her hands in his shirt and pushed him out to arm's length, yelling again. "And now you're here! You're here and alive, but you won't bloody look at me and you won't touch me! A couple of times I thought... but you keep disappearing! And you're walking around like a ghost and we can all tell you're blaming yourself, but we need you Harry! I need you! We lost Fred and I need..." she heaved a sob and lowered her voice. "You need us, too, Harry... And if you don't want me, well, I'll leave you be... but you need your family," she said, releasing her grip, her eyes downcast.
Harry could only stare at her, and she sniffed for a while before meeting his gaze timidly. She looked so broken and scared, and her admission made his heart ache in an altogether different manner. It was an swollen feeling he had started to worry he would never experience again.
He looked into her chocolate brown eyes and shook his head mutely. "Ginny," he finally managed, "I never want you to leave."
She buried her face in his shirt again and he held her, this time gently. He sat down in the grass by the pond and pulled her into his lap, rocking her softly and whispering nonsense into her hair. The rest of the Burrow had watched from the windows, but as the sun slipped below the trees, neither of them spared a thought for anyone but each other.
Author's Note: This chapter was bloody exhausting. For some, this reconciliation might seem early, but I honestly find it hard to believe it would take more than two days for Harry and Ginny to come to a head. (Also, shouting is stylistically problematic, but here we are.) I never understood why Rowling didn't have them speak after the battle. But then, she's the genius, not me.
On another note, I'm not sure I'm any better at writing romance than Jo is, so hopefully any stabs I take won't be utter failures. Anyway, there's a lot of emotion packed into this one, but we're not out of the woods yet, folks.
