Chapter Forty Three

Bella

There was a knock on the door followed by "Bella can I come in" from Esme. I opened the door and knew Jasper had gone, the ache had started in my chest. Esme saw my look, "Jasper has gone to hunt with Carlisle, they wont be long. I just wondered if you'd like some help with your hair and shower" I smiled, thanks Esme I'd appreciate it". She smiled and as she washed my hair for me I studied her. There was something on her mind I could see. "What's up Esme?" I asked as she towel dried my hair before using the hair dryer. "I don't want you to think I'm being nosy Bella. I just wanted to be sure in my own mind that you know what your relationship with Jasper means".

I wasn't sure what she was driving at, so I kept quiet. "I know Jasper has never felt fully a part of the family and I think Alice is at least partly to blame, but Carlisle and I love him as if he were our own son. I just don't want to see him hurt Bella. I remember the troubled young man who came to us with Alice and we are both very proud of the progress he made to join our way of life. It was so hard for him Bella because of his prior way of life. I'm sure he's either already told you or will when he's ready. When he and Alice started to have problems and she moved out of their room I was scared Bella. I was frightened he would go back to his old ways. I underestimated him, we all did. I was very grateful that you went with Em and Rose and brought him back to us. I know he cares for you very deeply"

I interrupted her, "I know how he feels Esme, and let me tell you how I feel about him. When he's away from me I get this pain in my chest that just builds and builds, until I see him again. When he's with me I just want to be in his arms, touching him, and when I do, I feel whole, at peace. If he is in pain I'm in pain. Now I've heard about the vampire mating pull and I can tell you if its anything like the feelings I have, then it must drive you crazy to be away from Carlisle". She smiled, "You learn to cope Bella. You'll learn too in time. Thank you for telling me this. It puts my mind at rest. I couldn't bear to see him hurt again. Take care Bella, the outside may be hard as nails but inside he's delicate. Don't break him". I turned to look into her eyes, "I wont Esme. I wont".

We spent the next couple of hours chatting in general about her life, her work in interior design, Carlisle and all the others. Edward being the only name not mentioned. I didn't want him to hang over us like a dark cloud, so I brought the subject up. "I don't hold anyone in the family to blame for what Edward did. He is a man and must take responsibility for his own actions but I can't forgive him for what he did to me, or Jasper Esme so don't ask me to". She looked sad, "I'm glad you feel that way Bella, but he's still my son and I hurt for him, and what drove him to do what he did".

"You mean my blood singing to him?" She nodded, "Sorry Esme, if he'd tried to drain me I might have accepted that explanation but he didn't, he wanted to rape me. That has nothing to do with my blood, it just makes him a menace. I'll tell you this now Esme. If he ever gets close enough again it wont be his eye I dig out. I'll carry a lighter from now on and if I get the chance I'll set his fucking dick on fire. She gasped and I heard a chuckle from the doorway. I turned to see Jasper standing there, his eyes a beautiful gold. "Good on you Princess. You ready to go out for a drive, I thought the fresh air might make you feel better. We can call in and see Charlie if you want. Take him some lunch maybe". I grinned, "Lets go Cowboy"

Charlie

I wasn't sure about this relationship between Bella and Jasper Hale. While I couldn't fault him, he was polite, well-behaved and he obviously adored her, my cop radar was going off, there was something not quite right about him. When they turned up at work with lunch I asked them to join me and although Bella was reluctant, Jasper was quite happy to accept. I made drinks for us and we retired to my office to share the pizza they'd brought. Bella spent most of her time watching him and I was doing the same. He didn't actually eat anything that I saw but his plate emptied at the same rate as ours. I'd figured out some of the things that made me uneasy. He was very pale, almost white, and his eyes were a spooky golden color but then so were Dr Cullen's and the other kids now I came to think about it. What got my radar pinging so loud was his expression, a kind of latent fury. I'd seen that look before, usually on the face of a guy holding a semi automatic rifle pointed at some innocent bystander. Simply put, he scared the shit outta me.

Jasper

I felt Charlie's emotions and it bothered me. He was too perceptive and I scared him. He was going to be a problem and one I had no idea how to handle. Bella also picked up on the tension although she wasn't sure of the cause of it. "Well I better get back on duty. I'll be over to see you tonight Bells, I want to talk to Carlisle" He was looking at me as he said that and I knew the subject he wanted to talk to my father about. When we were back in the car and away from the station I pulled up. "Bella." I never got a chance to finish, "He doesn't like you, does he?" she asked anxiously. I shook my head, "No. He's intimidated by me Bella. Your father is very perceptive. He's used to looking below the surface of people, and he sees the violence in me." She heard the sorrow in my voice and clutched my hand. "Jasper, I don't care what Charlie sees or what he thinks he sees in you, I know. I know you, and I won't give you up for him, or anyone else. You promised you'd never leave me. Now I need you to keep that promise." What could I say? I had promised and I loved her anyway. What would I do if I left? If I even had the strength to leave her again."