Chapter 7.
Hello, lovelies! Here's the next emotional chapter.
IMPORTANT! READ THIS!
I have an addition! At some point during this chapter you will see this:
(***)
When that happens, I would recommend that you pause for a second, go find the song "Say Something" by A Great Big World and listen to it while reading the remainder of the chapter. This is meant to really get your Shamy-feelings going and I have been told that a kleenex-warning is in place.
Just remember, it is just a suggesting, something I believe will bring something to your reading experience. You can listen to it while you read, after you have read the chapter or not at all. It's up to you. Just saying :)
NOW! Lean back, snuggle up and enjoy.
Sheldon felt like stone dropped inside his stomach as he watched the bus quickly drive into the Pasadena night. Even after the bus made a turn and disappeared out of sight he kept staring after it. After a couple of minutes he finally managed to pull himself together and he slowly turned to make his way back home as a nagging feeling emerged in his chest .
Sheldon was unsure of what he had expected; that the fact that she had spoken to him would change anything? That it would solve the situation? Well, he had felt a little relieved when she had finally said something. Amy had never been mad at him for this long and never this much. Last time he was able to resolve the situation by buying her a present but he wasn't sure that would be enough this time. As it would seem a short exchange of words on a bus stop wasn't either. He came to the conclusion that he had mistaken her politeness for progress.
"I guess I was wrong." He mumbled to himself as he entered the lobby to his apartment building, the nagging feeling increasing. He began ascending the stairs, still deep in thoughts. He huffed in despair, this whole situation was really getting on his nerves. There was no reasoning with Amy, her stubbornness and cruel commands had been following him relentlessly. He frowned and stepped up the stairs with stronger determination than before as he felt that agonizing nagging feeling stronger than ever. Where was that feeling coming from? What was it?
He placed a hand on his chest and halted halfway up the third flat of stairs as something dawned on him. That nagging feeling hadn't left him since the night Amy had walked out the door and given him 48 hours to fix the situation. He frowned. That could not be right, he though, but he knew better. His eidetic memory had never failed him and this time was no exception. He pondered for a moment, trying to figure out just what that feeling was. His stream of thoughts was cut short as he heard familiar voices laughing and talking coming down in his direction. After another moment Bernadette, Howard and Raj appeared on the stair well with big smiles on their lips each holding a small package of tin foil.
"Sheldon!" Howard said with a big smirk which for some reason made Bernadette giggle and Raj burst out in laughter. Sheldon's brought his eyebrows closer together, not understanding the situation.
"What's so funny? And what are you doing here?" He asked, a hint of worry in his voice.
Howard's smirk grew even wider as he held out his hands.
"Oh nothing, nothing at all. We just stopped by and were surprised to meet your mother." He said, laughter playing under his voice, as Bernadette bit her lip trying not to laugh.
"We didn't know your mother was coming, so we left again, we want you to have some time together. But she did give us some Pecan pie." Bernadette's voice chirped as she held up her little tin foil package.
"You know, your mother tells the best stories." Howard continued, the smirk never leaving his face. That comment made Bernadette laugh out loud and she quickly clasped a hand over her mouth as Raj burst into laughter right beside her. Sheldon felt suspicious and nervous at their laughter. Finally Raj was able to collect himself and looking at Sheldon he said.
"Dude, is it really true that you called your teacher a… What was it?" Raj frowned and looked at Howard with a small smile. Howard returned his look and raising his eyebrows he looked back at Sheldon.
"The missing link that would conclusively proof that all human beings descend from primates." Howard said in a deep voice, before he broke into laughter immediately followed by Raj and Bernadette. Sheldon let out deep sigh and rolled his eyes as he made his way past them. As he rounded the last flat of stairs he heard Raj's voice jell out loud.
"You really are a genius, Sheldon!"
Sheldon shook his head and opened his apartment door. Stepping in he found Leonard and Penny doing the dishes, giggling away and his mother was packing the remainders of the Pecan pie into small neat tin foil packages with a smile on her face. They all looked up at him as he slowly closed the door behind him and he could see the smiles of Penny and Leonard fade ever so slightly. He chose not to say anything and he slowly pulled his jacket of his shoulders and placed on the back of his office chair.
"So did you make sure that Amy got on the bus nice and safely?" Mrs. Cooper asked in a rather cheerful tone. Sheldon took a deep breath before answering.
"I did." He simply said as he made his way to his spot where the plate of Pecan pie that he had abandoned earlier was still waiting for him, but he felt no appetite for it anymore. Never the less he kept staring at it as if it would reveal an answer to his problem. He heard the sound of ruffling tin foil in the kitchen and then his mother's voice.
"Penny, dear, I've packed a couple of slices of pie for you and Leonard and I'm afraid that it needs to be kept cool."
Penny cleared her throat and said. "Of course, Mrs. Cooper, thanks! Hey, Leonard aren't you going to help me get this pie over to my fridge?"
Standing next to the sink Leonard frowned at her. "But why can't you just…" He was cut short as Penny shot him a soul crushing glare, her eyes wide and her head tilting allegedly towards Sheldon who was still engulfed in staring at his piece of pie. Leonard raised his eyebrows and murmured a tiny "Oh." as he realized her intentions. He looked at Mrs. Cooper who smiled at him in a saying way with a small nod of her head.
"Yeah sure, let's go." He said in a way to high pitch tone of voice. Penny rolled her eyes and quickly grabbing his hand and the small package of tinfoil from the kitchen counter she dragged Leonard towards the apartment door.
"Goodnight Mrs. Cooper, goodnight Sheldon." Leonard said hastily as Penny almost tossed him out the door. Leonard's voice jolted Sheldon back to reality as he quickly looked at the apartment door that closed in that very second.
A short moment after he found his mother sitting next to him with an unreadable look on her face. She caught his eyes.
"Shelly, what has happened between you and Amy?" She said without warning.
Sheldon felt his heart fly up into his throat and swallowing hard he broke his mother's gaze looking down at his hands.
"I… I don't know what you are referring to." He managed to utter, damning his shaking voice. From beside him he could hear his mother sighing.
"Shelly, you should know better than to lie to your mother. I know your every move, young man, and I can tell when you are lying from a mile away. Now, don't think I haven't noticed the way you and Amy acted this evening. Barely any eye contact, awkward silence, none of your regular science discussions between just the two of you. I saw how sad she looked from the second she walked in and I saw your disappointed look when she had to leave. Now, I may not have been around for the most part of your relationship with this young lady, but it doesn't take some fancy college degree to know that something's is wrong, so quit beating about the bush and start talking." She said, her voice simultaneously light as air and hard as a rock, bringing back memories from his childhood.
"Did Penny tell you?" Sheldon asked accusingly. His mother shook her head and said.
"That sweet girl did no such thing, even though I tried my very best to make her and Leonard talk, they insisted that everything was just fine. Loyal friends, if there ever was any."
Sheldon took a deep breath, more nervous than ever. He had been sure that his mother had fallen for their clever ruse seeing that she had given no clue whatsoever of her suspicions. He pressed his lips tightly together, unable to speak.
"Shelly." His mother said in a stern voice and in that moment Sheldon knew that there was no escaping her question. He let out another deep breath and said.
"Very well."
"What happened?" His mother asked in a more warm tone. Sheldon didn't speak for a moment.
"I recently had a … Disagreement with Amy and she has refused to talk to me ever since." He finally said in a low voice. Mrs. Cooper didn't say anything for a while.
"And this… Disagreement… How serious is it?" She said hesitantly, trying to circle in on the problem at hand. Sheldon sighed again, eyes never leaving his hands.
"I am not quite sure." Sheldon said, preparing himself for his mother's endless in-depth questions that surely were to come next. He began to conduct a plan in his mind in order to try and hide the true nature of his disagreement with Amy, knowing that she would most likely spank him into next Tuesday if she heard what he and Kripke had talked about. But the moments went by, and Mrs. Cooper remained quiet. With a heavy sigh she finally spoke.
"And what are you going to do about it?"
Sheldon jolted his eyes from his hands, meeting his mother's gaze with mild surprise. No questions? No prying? No grilling him until he buckled under and told her everything? Mrs. Cooper returned her son's surprised look with a calm and understanding one. Sheldon swallowed and tried to think of something to say. What he was going to do about it? If he had the answer to that question, then he wouldn't be having this conversation. Then he would be in bed having a good night's sleep for the first time in days. Then he wouldn't have to tiptoe around Amy. Then the exhausting feeling that had settled in his chest would finally leave him alone. What was he going to do? He had no idea.
"I don't know." He said, his voice barely a whisper. Mrs. Cooper scooted closer to her son and placed a hand on his arm. He looked at her, eyes pleading.
"Maybe… Maybe you can fix it?" He asked expectantly, a small hope rising within him. This wouldn't be the first time that his mother would act as a peacemaker between Amy and himself. Mrs. Cooper looked at him with sad eyes and a faint smile.
"Oh Shelly." She said, her voice almost apologetic. She shook her head slightly.
"I really wish I could, snicker doodle, but I'm afraid can't." She said. Sheldon frowned at this, turning to face his mother more directly and feeling the tiny hope disappear.
"Why not?" He asked confused. Mrs. Cooper didn't answer. Instead she let her eyes wander, taking in every feature of his face, a small smile never leaving her face and her eyes held a certain form of melancholia. She sighed again and brushed a hand through her son's hair.
"Look at you, Sheldon. When did this happen? Not too long ago you were still my little boy, and now… Now you have developed into a full grown man. I can't treat you like a toddler anymore, no matter how much I want to. And no matter how much I wish I could fight your battles for you like I did when you were growing up, I'm afraid that I simply just can't do that anymore. You are an adult now and I have to start treating you like one." She said, her voice revealing both sadness and admiration.
Sheldon swallowed hard, feeling his throat constrict as his mother continued to brush her hand through his dark hair. Pulling himself together he finally spoke.
"What am I going to do then?" He asked, his voice shaking with defeat.
Mrs. Cooper squeezed his arm tightly and locked her eyes with Sheldon's.
"You are going to put that brilliant head that God blessed you with to good use and get this situation under control." She said in a warm yet stern voice.
"But she won't speak to me." Sheldon said almost immediately, making a swift motion with his hand. "I can't possibly get the situation under control if she simply refuses to communicate with me."
Mary Cooper looked at her son with unbelieving eyes. Was this really her Sheldon sitting next to her willingly talking about progress and communication? He met her eyes with mild confusion.
"She has really gotten to you, hasn't she, Shelly?" She asked with a smile. Sheldon's frown grew deeper. "You are a changed man."
Sheldon looked down into his hands. "That's preposterous." He said in a dismissing manner. "Amy hasn't changed me."
Mrs. Cooper shook her head. "No, darling, she hasn't. You have changed all by yourself, all Amy has done is dig that change and growth out of you from whatever dark and hidden place you had stored it away." She said in a small voice.
Her words made Sheldon move his look from his hands to her eyes. He didn't know what to say, and for a while he just sat there allowing her words to sink in. After another moment he stooped his head and looking at his hands once again he said.
"That doesn't offer any solution to the problem at hand."
His mother let out a long breath and said.
"Sheldon, I don't know what exactly happened between you two and what made Amy choose not to talk to you, but I do know that you are able to do anything you set your mind to."
Sheldon didn't respond, a pensive look on his face.
"At some point she is going to have to talk to you." Mrs. Cooper said, almost reading his mind. Sheldon remained quiet and after another moment he simply nodded his head slowly. His mother reciprocated his nod, gently stroking his arm and they stayed like that for a while.
A cautious knock sounded from the apartment door and it opened to reveal Leonard's head peeking in with an apologetic look on his face.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to interrupt, but I just wanted to hear if you wanted a ride to the hotel, Mrs. Cooper?" He said in a low voice. With a sigh and a smile Mrs. Cooper stood up and said.
"That would be mighty wide of you, Leonard." She then turned to Sheldon who also had gotten up from his seat. She shot him an encouraging smile before wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. Sheldon hunched over and wrapped a single arm around his mother.
"You can do this, Shelly. You will figure it out." She whispered to him before releasing him. She grabbed her coat and bag and in the next second she was out the door, leaving Sheldon still standing and already wishing she would come back.
Penny stood outside in the hallway as Leonard and Mrs. Cooper exited apartment 4A. Shooting her a smile Mrs. Cooper gave her a quick hug.
"It was nice seeing you again, darling." She said.
"You to, Mrs. Cooper." Penny said answering her smile. Then Mrs. Cooper made her way over to Leonard who was now holding her bag, ready to go. Placing and arm around his shoulder she said.
"Now, you have found yourself a quality peace of man, you make sure to hang on to this one." She said pointing between Leonard and Penny.
Leonard smirked wide and shot his eyes down. Penny looked at him with a look of admiration before saying.
"Believe me, I know."
Another moment went by before Leonard and Mrs. Cooper finally began descending the four flats of stairs. Penny watched them go and turned to make her way to her apartment.
With her hand on the door knob, she hesitated, biting her lip. She looked over her shoulder at the apartment across the hall. There had been something in Mrs. Cooper's look. Something akin to worry or uncertainty. Penny would be lying if she didn't share her concern; watching Sheldon and Amy this evening had been hard, she had never seen them this tense around each other. With a deep sigh she made up her mind, and letting go of the door knob she made her way across the hall. Knowing Sheldon, it was going to take a lot from him to ask for help and advice, so she might as well make it easier for him by simply offering him her help. She knocked tentatively on the door, but when she received no answer she tried to carefully turn the doorknob. Opening the door Penny stepped inside, expecting to find Sheldon in his spot, but instead she was met by a pitch dark and silent apartment. For a second she considered going to Sheldon's bedroom, see if he was alright, but something about his retreat convinced her that he needed to be alone at the moment. With a sigh and a heavy heart she backed out of the apartment, closing the door silently. She turned and made her way back to her apartment, and closing her own apartment door behind her she sunk into her couch feeling completely and utterly useless.
Sheldon was laying on his back in the middle of his bed staring up at the ceiling. Sleep was eluding him as the wheels inside his mind refused to settle down, not allowing him to fall asleep. The nagging feeling in his chest was still present and it still confused him. He frowned. Normally he would have talked to Amy about such distressing symptoms, but finding himself unable to talk to her frustrated him more than the pain in his chest. With a sigh he recalled his mother's words.
"At some point she is going to have to talk to you."
Maybe that was the solution? Perhaps if he just let time run out, then she would talk to him. Surely, after the 48 hours she had granted him were over they would be forced to communicate? Then he would be able to explain himself, and they would be able to reach some sort of compromise like they had done before. After all, Amy was a sensible and practical person, she would listen; she would understand. Thinking back on their conversation regarding the kiss on the train, he found himself reassured. She had said that she wasn't going to leave him, she had assured him of that. Surely Amy wasn't going to toss away three years of progress out the window like that? She had told him that she understood him, that she saw him through. Yes, the most logical thing to do seemed to allow the situation rest for now and wait for Amy to contact him after the assigned 48 hours. Having a temporarily plan calmed Sheldon down, all though the nagging feeling never left him. After a short while he was sound asleep.
Amy laid on her side, her eyes fixated on her phone. She had been starring at it for over an hour, not moving a centimeter. With a heavy sigh she broke her stare and turned to her other side, turning her back to her disturbingly silent phone. She had to admit that not talking to Sheldon had seemed much easier in theory. Now she found herself on the verge of a nervous breakdown every time her phone alerted her of a new message or e-mail, and time and time again she felt a soul-crushing disappointment when the sender was not Sheldon. And now after such an eventful evening she found herself waiting for any sign from him. In a perfect world he would be standing outside her door, realizing his mistake and apologizing; and she would forgive him. In a heartbeat. But at this point she would be content with a single text message reassuring her that he had not given up. That there was still hope, that he was at least trying to understand. What if he didn't respond by tomorrow evening? What if he never intended to fix the situation? Amy felt her heart drop to her stomach and her throat constrict at the thought of what she had promised him to do if he didn't meet her demands. She silently prayed to a deity she didn't quite believe in that she wouldn't have to do it, that a tiny miracle would happen and everything would return to how they used to be. Closing her eyes she finally surrendered to sleep.
The next morning Leonard woke up to find Sheldon already awake and dressed standing by his whiteboard seemingly lost in thoughts. Making his way to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee he said.
"Sheldon, did you even sleep last night?"
Sheldon tore his eyes from his whiteboard meeting Leonard's gaze with a frown of his own.
"Don't be silly, Leonard, of course I did." He said dismissively, returning his attention to his equation. Leonard took a sip of his coffee, observing Sheldon closely. Normally Sheldon would have a pensive look on his face when addressing a complicated physics equation. But the look on the brilliant physicist face this morning was not pensive; it was tired, confused and determined with a hint of one of Sheldon Cooper's most well-known characteristics: stubbornness. This made Leonard conclude that the equation on his whiteboard wasn't the source of Sheldon's troubles. He took another sip of his coffee, trying to determine how to approach his roommate.
"Sheldon, how long have you been up?" He asked, trying to keep his tone as nonchalant as possible. He could see Sheldon hesitate for a moment before answering.
"Since 4.30." He answered in a low voice, causing Leonard to raise his eyebrows in surprise. He quickly resumed a neutral facial expression and making his way around the kitchen counter he slowly approached Sheldon.
"Any particular reason to start your day so unusually early?" He asked, still keeping a light tone to his voice. Sheldon didn't move his eyes from his whiteboard, but Leonard could tell that he was alert. Sheldon pressed his lips tightly together and narrowed his eyes, not responding. Leonard waited another moment, but Sheldon was obviously not going to answer.
"Sheldon, has this anything to do with your problems with Amy?" Leonard offered. Sheldon stopped in the middle of writing a new equation as his eyes slowly looked to the side but still not looking at Leonard. He didn't say anything, and Leonard knew better than to pressure him. After another moment Sheldon resumed his writing.
"It might have." He finally said, his voice low.
Leonard sighed and finished his cup of coffee. Sheldon was miserable, there was no question about it. The man would normally under no circumstances deviate from his schedule and yet here he was, awake in the wee hours of the morning pondering and confused.
"Sheldon, just go and do whatever she told you to. You are both clearly miserable, why drag it out? I mean how horrible can it be?" Leonard said in an exhausted tone. He hated to see Sheldon like this and from what he saw last night, Amy was at least equally as sad.
"It's not horrible, simply unfair and humiliating." Sheldon responded, a hint of anger in his voice.
"Really? Because Amy doesn't seem like an unfair person to me, and she certainly wouldn't ask you to do anything that would humiliate you. Are you sure you are not just misunderstanding this entire situation?" Leonard said, eager to help.
Wrong move.
Sheldon put away his marker, and with a deep frown he marched angrily over to his desk, taking a seat and opening his laptop.
"Then you clearly don't know Amy." He said angrily, typing away on his keyboard. Leonard pressed his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose, Sheldon had apparently decided to be absolutely impossible to communicate with. Leonard wondered how on earth Amy had put up with him for this long. After a short while he let out a breath and said.
"Look, Sheldon, maybe if you just…" But he was interrupted by Sheldon who said.
"You have to hurry up if we are going to make it to work on time. I don't have time to your jibber jabber." His tone was dismissive, and he emphasized his point by putting on his gaming headset, logging on to his World of Warcraft account.
Leonard opened his mouth to say something, but he knew that it was no use. Sheldon was clearly in no mood to receive help, advice or listening to reason. With a last look at Sheldon's back, Leonard sighed and made his way to his room. This was going to be a long day.
The two physicists left their apartment, just as Penny opened her door. Still in her pajamas and with messy hair she looked at them in surprise.
"Aren't you guys a bit early?" She asked in a groggy voice, stepping out of her apartment. Leonard looked at her with an exhausted look.
"Apparently Sheldon needs to get to work early today." He said in an irritated voice.
Penny looked at Sheldon who had his eyes fixated on his shoes.
"Why?" She asked confused.
Sheldon looked up at her with a frown.
"I have important work to do, Penny. Granted, all my work is important, but standing here talking to you is wasting precious time that should be used to further the cause of physics." He said hastily, turning to descend the stairs.
"Wait, Sheldon. Did you mom find out last night? I mean, did she talk to you, she seemed like she knew something was up." Penny asked, stepping closer. Leonard caught her eyes and with a frantic look in his eyes he shook his head, trying to warn her. But it was too late. Sheldon turned slowly and stepped angrily back up the three steps he had managed to descend, hovering over Penny as he finally stood before her.
"Of course I talked to my mother, she came to visit me, the social convention is to talk to ones parents when they visit. And not that it is any of your business, but yes, as a matter of fact, she did see through our clever ruse last night. This of course led to a private conversation about what has now become the world-famous dispute between Amy and I. The details of the conversation shall, however, remain private until such a time that I wish to talk about it. There shall be no questions and no investigating, is that understood?" He said in a stern and demanding voice, and not waiting for an answer he turned on his heels and quickly walked down the stairs.
"I…I wasn't going to… Sheldon, wait! Come on, hold up. Sheldon? SHELDON?!"
Penny walked down the first flat of stairs, trying to catch up with him, but Sheldon's long legs and quick steps were long gone, leaving her standing on the third floor with a hopeless look on her face. Leonard was right behind her. He sighed and put an arm around her waist.
"I don't get it, what the hell did I do?" She asked in a low voice. Leonard pulled her closer and said.
"Nothing, Sheldon is just not in the best mood today. This whole thing is really getting to him. I've tried to stay out of his way and give him space, but he has been at my throat the entire morning."
He paused, unsure of what to do. What to say.
"Just… Give him some time." He said in an idle attempt to comfort both Penny and himself. Sensing that he wasn't helping he looked at her and said.
"You look very beautiful in the morning."
Penny smiled a reluctant and yet heartfelt smile before kissing him.
"Go drive your crazy roommate to work before he turns all Vader on all of us." She said before nudging him towards the stairs. And with that Leonard made it the long way down the stairs to find Sheldon standing by the car door with a very dissatisfied look on his face.
Amy drank the last sip of tea as she waited for her computer to turn on, she had no appetite for breakfast this morning. Putting her mug down she forced herself no to look at her phone. Don't be silly, she thought to herself, you checked it two minutes ago. She sat up straight focusing her eyes on her laptop. She was not going to buckle under. After another moment she let out a sigh of defeat as she reached for her phone like she had done repeatedly ever since she opened her eyes that morning. And the result was the same. Nothing. She couldn't help it, she felt helpless every time. She had dialed his number at least three times that morning, but she would always hesitate, her fingers shifting between pressing "Dial" or throwing the phone away. She even played with the idea of making up some ridiculous excuse for him to come over to her apartment; the best idea she had come up with had involved Leonard Nimoy, a koala bear, a plate of spaghetti with little pieces of hotdog cut up in it and two capuchin monkeys. But she had to remind herself of why she was doing it. Why she was refusing to talk to Sheldon, and why she didn't simply give in to the urge to just drive over to Sheldon's apartment and forgiving him for everything. He had to understand this, he had to see his mistake. Things would never work out if he never learned from his mistakes, if he forever refused to take the blame for what he had done. She wouldn't allow him to hide behind unsustainable logic, rules or regulations. She was done with treating him like a child in a class for kids with special needs; Sheldon was extraordinary, of course he was, but not in the way that he could simply use his "Sheldon-ness" to avoid any kind of responsibilities. He was kind. He was good. And no matter what everyone else said, he was empathic and understanding. Amy knew he was; She just hoped that he would be able to realize it himself.
Sheldon removed the cap from his marker and stepped closer to his whiteboard once again. Taking a deep breath he began scribbling equations and figures, his hands moving fast and his brain working the best it could. Almost got it, he thought to himself as he now had filled half of the whiteboard with his mind's work. After another few lines, he halted, the marker still on the whiteboard but not moving. He starred at his hand, at the marker, at his equation. It didn't make sense. He starred harder, he starred longer. He refused to give up, refused to give in to defeat. He could do this. But no matter how long or how strongly he stared, it still made no sense to him. He pressed his lips together and let out a frustrated noise. For the umpteenth time that day he erased everything on his board, his arms moving in rapid and angry circles.
"I just can't see it!" He exclaimed, continuing to remove every trace of his unsolvable equation. Even after his writing was gone he kept on erasing. Finally satisfied with the blankness of his board he made his way to his office chair, taking a seat behind his desk. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes, trying to calm down. Why was this so hard? Why did the equation refuse to give him the answer he needed?
Are you talking about your equation or Amy?
Sheldon heard a little voice inside his head, teasing him. Eyes still closed, he frowned trying to suppress it. He was not going to think about Amy. He had a plan and he had to stick to it. Don't talk to Amy, wait until tonight. He just had to resist another few hours, and then hopefully this whole thing would be over. They would talk, he would make her realize the absurdness of her demands, she would forgive him and they could finally go back to normal. Just a few more hours. And until then he was going to engulf himself completely in the one thing that always managed to keep his mind of the rest of the world and its pity problems: Physics. But now he found himself unable to think, to concentrate as he kept replaying every encounter he had shared with her over the last couple of days; her words kept ringing in his ears. "23 hours and 30 minutes."
"I am one of the greatest minds of my generation, I can do this. I can solve it."
Again… Sounds to me like you are talking about Amy.
"That is preposterous!" Sheldon exclaimed, opening his eyes and making his way back to his whiteboard with determined steps. Picking up his marker once again he removed the cap and took a deep breath, but for some reason he couldn't make himself write anything. His hand remained mere inches from the surface of the whiteboard, just hovering over it. He closed his eyes and tried to focus, but here was too much going on. Too many things to write, too many things that needed to get out of his head but his thoughts refused to line up in order. An undefinable turmoil had taken over, replacing his normally structured mind. After another moment he sighed heavily and lowering his hand to his side he turned his head, focusing his look on his phone on his desk. He slowly walked over and picked it up. Still nothing, no text, no call or e-mail. Not even a reminder that he had exactly 8 hours left. With a frown he put it back down turning his back to it and stepping closer to his whiteboard, marker still in his hand. He halted after two steps and looked up at the ceiling in defeat. If he did not remove that source of constant distraction, then he would never be able to make it through the day. At some point he was going to give in. Turning around he quickly picked up his phone once again and turned it off. Putting it back on the table he then returned to his whiteboard. He let out a long sigh, straightening his back in determination. "Get a grip, Cooper." He mumbled, bringing the marker to the whiteboard once again.
Amy squinted her eyes as she looked into the microscope. With a few accustomed regulations the brain specimen became visible and crystal clear before her eyes. She looked at it for a moment, before noting her observation on the block next to her. Putting her pencil down and reaching for the next specimen her eyes fell on her phone. "Darn it." She said in a low voice; her plan to avoid her phone had been going so well for the past – she quickly checked her watch – 7 ½ minutes. She kept starring at it before finally picking it up. Like she expected: absolutely nothing. Her morning had consisted of nothing but repeated disappointment every time she picked up her phone. Sheldon had made no attempt whatsoever to contact her and it was unnerving to say the least. With every passing hour she felt her hope fade a little, and with every hour that went by she felt her anger and stubbornness make way to a new and ever present feeling: Fear. She swallowed hard as she kept starring on her phone until the screen went black. Looking at her watch again she sighed. 6 hours left.
The rest of the day went by slowly and painfully for Sheldon. He was making absolutely no progress in his work and the nagging feeling got more and more prominent as the day progressed. His phone remained turned off, even though he had felt the urge to turn it on countless times during the day. When lunch arrived, Sheldon was looking forward to spent his time on something else than failing at every attempt to solve his equations and thinking about Amy, but he was met by tedious questions from his friends about his relationship with Amy, his work and his mother's visit; all three things he had absolutely no desire to talk about. After another one of Howard's remarks on how Sheldon should simply go and beg for Amy's forgiveness on his knees, he left the cafeteria without a word, his lunch only half-eaten. Returning to his office he closed the door and taking a seat behind his desk he checked his watch, sighing. 5 hours left.
(***)
Amy picked up her purse and turned off the light's in her laboratory; it was still a bit early to be going home, but she needed to get out of there, to change her scene. She had had trouble concentrating the entire day, work that normally took her a couple of hours had taken her a whole day, and she was still not finished. As she slowly made her way to her car, she reached into her purse and grabbed her phone. Nothing. "Why do I even bother?" She murmured as she opened her car door and got in. Placing the key in the ignition, she halted, as a feeling of hopelessness and frustration suddenly came over her. Why did she bother? The last couple of days had made it very clear to her, that Sheldon in no way wanted to admit his mistake. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. That wasn't completely fair. She knew Sheldon would need time to realize his mistake, let alone apologizing to her and admitting his lie to Kripke. That was why she had given him 48 hours, she knew his mind worked better when he had a deadline. But with 4 hours to go and not a word from Sheldon she was feeling very nervous, and whatever small hope she had had earlier that morning was slowly fading. Don't give up quite yet, she thought to herself; Sheldon had surprised her in the past, perhaps he would do it again tonight. With a sigh she turned on the engine and slowly pulled out into traffic.
Sheldon was lying on his bed, eyes closed and hands resting down his sides. He was not used to taking naps in the afternoon, but after a challenging day he felt like a nap would be in place. That way he could kill some time, and hopefully regain some of his mental faculties. Not to mention that the rest of the group, sans Amy of course, would be arriving soon, and Sheldon was in no mood to socialize; in no mood for their endless questions about his well-being, their questions about Amy, the saying glances they shot each other when they thought he couldn't see them. Of course he saw them. And he was sick of them. But his plan to take a nap seemed to be doomed to fail, as the nagging feeling that had now become a custom part of his life, seemed to increase whenever he had a moment to think. He frowned, eyes still closed. Was this day ever going to end? After a while he sighed and opened his eyes. He was definitely not going to get any sleep. Turning his head he looked at the alarm clock on his night stand. 3 ½ hours to go. In that same instant he heard the unmistakable sound of Howard Wolowitz's voice entering the apartment, which meant that dinner and company had arrived. Sheldon kept starring at the clock until he heard Leonard's voice. "Sheldon, food is ready!"
Amy turned a page in the neuroscience magazine she was reading, her eyes wandering up and down the pages not reading anything. With a sigh she checked her watch. 2 hours to go. She turned another page, and another, and another, until her restlessness made her close the magazine and put it away. Amy was feeling numb at this point. The amount and variety of her emotions were too much for her to comprehend and sense, and she found herself starring at her turned off laptop. Her mouth was dry and she felt dizzy, symptoms she attributed to the fact that she hadn't eaten or drank a single thing the entire day. She reached out for the cup of tea that she had beside her. Taking a sip she frowned and put the mug back; the tea was cold and tasted horrible. How long had she been sitting there? She buried her face into her hands as she tried to remember when exactly her life had turned into a mess that she couldn't get out off. When had everything stopped making sense? She swallowed and slowly lowering her hands she turned on her laptop as she revisited her options. She could either call Sheldon and forgive him for everything, bringing their relationship back to the state it had been in a couple of days ago, risking that he would continue to hurt her and expect to be forgiven every time in the future. Or she could wait 2 hours, and if he didn't make any attempts to make amends, then she would… Amy felt her throat constrict as she let her thoughts wonder to a place in which she had terminated her relationship with Sheldon and everything they had been through the last three years would then be rendered moot. That thought scared her more than anything, and now that the deadline was quickly approaching, she could truly feel the gravity of the situation. She inhaled slowly. There is still time, she thought to herself as she logged on to her laptop.
Sheldon sat on his spot amongst the rest of the group, poking his food. The rice was wrong, it tasted weird. The chicken was diced wrong and he didn't like the look of the broccoli. Around him the others were having their regular trivial conversations about work, comic books, family news and jokes. He tried to listen, but their words were of no interest for him. He kept checking his watch periodically, his eyes darting from his plate to his laptop. The restlessness was becoming too much for him, and after a while he stood up and made his way to the refrigerator. Opening it and analyzing its contents he could tell from the corner of his eyes that they were now sitting there, giving each other saying looks and communicating silently. He didn't care as long as they didn't address him. They had actually been surprisingly thoughtful this evening, only asking him about work, avoiding the topics of his disagreement with Amy and his mother's visit completely. He reached in and took a bottle of water, before closing the refrigerator and making his way back to his spot. Just as he sat down, Wolowitz, Bernadette and Raj got up, excusing themselves. Before Sheldon could truly understand what was going on, the trio had made a beeline for the door and with haste goodbyes they left the apartment, leaving Sheldon alone with Penny and Leonard. Sheldon looked at his watch again. 50 minutes. He got up again and made his way to his desk, taking a seat and turning on his laptop. He could feel his heart rate increase and his palms get clammy. He swallowed as he logged on, his mouth dry and head occupied by a million incoherent thoughts.
Amy starred at the document before her as her heart was racing. 30 minutes left and no sign from Sheldon. Not a single word. She was now truly losing hope. She had tried to prepare herself for the last couple of hours, reassuring herself that Sheldon would come around, that he would come clean. But sitting there alone in her dark apartment only illuminated by her laptop screen she was feeling completely and utterly lost. This was it. He wasn't going to do it. With only 20 minutes left it became clear to her that there was no way that Sheldon could make it in time. He was going to ignore the deadline, and like he had been doing the last 24 hours, he was ignoring her. Amy felt her heart pound with long and rhythmic thuds causing her breathing to pick up speed. She had no choice. She kept starring at her laptop screen, the brightness almost straining them. 10 minutes left. She felt a lump in her throat and her eyes burning as frustrated tears made her sight blurry.
Sheldon tried to ignore Penny's questions as he checked his watch again. 8 minutes. She had been asking him questions ever since Howard, Bernadette and Raj left. Why was he being so quiet? Why was he sad? What was the deal with Amy, she hadn't been answering her phone the entire day? What was going on? She was now begging him to say something, to reassure herself and Leonard that he was all right, but that was a question he could not answer. He kept his eyes fixated on his laptop and his phone, hoping that his plan would work. 7 minutes, there was no turning back now. He could hear his own heartbeat mixing with Penny's voice. Suddenly Leonard interrupted her, asking Sheldon a single question. Did he have a plan? That was a question he could answer. He opened his mouth and in a low voice he finally decided to tell them everything. He told them how Amy had demanded of him to realize his mistake, come clean to Kripke about the lies he had told him about their non-existing intimate relationship and apologize to her in person within 48 hours. After a quick calculation, Leonard pointed out that that was tonight. Penny asked him what his plan was, and he told her. He would wait until the deadline, thus forcing Amy to talk to him and then they would be able to reach a compromise. Leonard asked him what time the deadline was. "3 minutes." Sheldon said in a low voice, his eyes never leaving his laptop.
Amy felt a single tear fall down her cheek and on to her keyboard. 3 minutes. 3 minutes until she had to do the one thing she had hoped she never had to do. 3 minutes until it would be conclusively proven that Sheldon indeed cared for his pride more than he cared for her. 3 minutes until everything she had tried to avoid would happen. Another tear fell as she opened a new mail, addressing it to Sheldon. 2 minutes left. 2 minutes left of their relationship. 2 minutes left until cyberspace would end it all, just the way it hard started it. She muffled a sob; he wouldn't do it. Amy would have done anything for him, she knew that. She would put him first, like she had always done. She would have fought for him, she would have done anything in her power to stay with him. But as the seconds ticked by it became clear that Sheldon would not do the same. He wouldn't do it. She removed her tears with a hand shaking with frustration as she looked at the e-mail before her for one last time. There was no turning back now.
A silence had fallen over Leonard and Penny after Sheldon's explanation as they clearly tried to process the information he had provided them with. Sheldon sat still on his chair, his face unreadable. His heart was racing at an alarming speed and that nagging feeling now felt like nothing short of stabs in his chest. 30 seconds left. Penny finally broke the silence and asked him the question she had been dying to ask. "Sheldon, what happens if you don't do it within the 48 hours?"
Bringing her shaking hand down to her keyboard Amy took a deep breathe. She felt a quick stab of panic and for a single second she second-guessed her actions. But with the last bit of determination she had left she brought her finger down and pressed "Enter". It was done.
Sheldon opened his mouth to answer, but in that same second his laptop alerted him of a new incoming e-mail. He shut his mouth as he felt nervousness rise within him as he read the sender to be "Amy Farrah Fowler", bringing him on the verge of a panic attack. This was it. All this waiting had led to this, all he needed now was to negotiate with her. He quickly opened the mail, expecting to see a message. Instead he was met with an empty message box and a single attached document. His nervousness increased as he could now feel his heartbeat threaten to crush his eardrums. He swallowed before opening the attached document. What he saw made his heart stop for a short second. Sheldon felt a falling sensation, as if his entire body was being sucked in upon itself from his bellybutton. Goosebumps emerged on every inch of his body and he found it hard to breath. His chest constricted and his mind had gone absolutely blank. This could not be, this was not happening. He kept starring at his laptop until Penny's voice finally made its way through the thick fog that seemed to have surrounded him. "Sheldon! What is going on?" When he didn't answer, he heard the unmistakable sound of Leonard and Penny slowly rising from their seats. He couldn't move until he could feel them mere inches away from him, he couldn't talk, he couldn't tell them what had just happened. As Leonard put his hand on the back of his chair, Sheldon quickly rose from his seat and quickly made his way to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him, leaving them to find out for themselves.
Leonard approached Sheldon's laptop. "Oh no." He said in a worried voice, causing Penny to quickly make her way next to him. "What is…" But she slapped her hand over her mouth in shock as she read the headline of the document on Sheldon's laptop.
Termination of relationship
I know. Deep breathes. Anyone need a paperback? A kleenex? A snugglebunny?
As earlier mentioned this story is getting more emotional, but to my fellow Shamy-shippers: I beg for your patience! Trust me, please.
Now, I am really curious. What do you think? How did the music work for you? Please let me know, leave a review, they bring me great joy!
Until next time:
Live long and ship hard!