Chapter Forty Six

Bella

The journey home was the worst I'd ever experienced, my heart was breaking but I knew I had to do this. I had to save Charlie and the others and at least this way Jasper had a chance. He would get over my leaving and go on with his life eventually, Alice had seen that. When we got back he offered to stay but I shook my head, "I need to spend time with Charlie. You go hunt with Emmett." He took me in his arms but for the first time I didn't melt. I felt unclean, unworthy and I started to cry. He pulled me close and begged me to tell him why I was so upset. He knew it was more than Renee but I couldn't tell him. I would have to write it all down for him. "I'll come back after I've hunted." he promised but I shook my head. "I'll be up all night with Charlie, we need to talk about arrangements." He went very reluctantly but I waved him off.

I went upstairs straight away, if I didn't write the letter now I would never be able to do it so I got a sheet of paper from my desk and sat at the table arranging my thoughts as I sat, the tears blotting the paper.

Dear Jasper,

I had to write and tell you that I am leaving with Edward. Please don't follow us, I am doing this of my own free will. You need to know that Carlisle and I both lied to you the night you found me at Edwards house. You know what I mean and that it has formed a bond between us that I can no longer ignore. He is waiting for me and I am going to him. He didn't kill Renee he just took the opportunity it afforded to contact me. Had I answered the phone he would have begged me to go to him. Because you answered and he hates you he came up with the story of killing Renee. We are going away together and I do not want you to try and find me. There will come a time when you will realize I was not right for you. I hope you find your true partner soon. You are too good a man, with too much to offer, to stay alone. Be happy.

Sorry Bella

I could hardly breath when I finished writing and my hands were shaking as I put the letter in its envelope and addressed it. He would find it or Charlie would give it to him. It didn't matter. I would be gone before he knew I was going.

Carlisle

I watched Bella sitting at the table and heard her sobs as she wrote something. It took her a long time but finally she finished and sealed it in an envelope before kissing it and placing it on the centre of the table very deliberately. There was something going on, something wrong. I watched as she filled an overnight bag before scribbling a note and leaving it on the fridge door, for Charlie I assumed. As she came out and locked the front door I walked to the truck and stood in front of the driver's door. She turned and I saw her start before recognizing me. "Where are you going Bella?" I asked as she walked towards me. "Away Carlisle" she sounded so bitter. "Why Bella? Where are you going?" She tried to push me away but I stood firm. When I looked at her face I saw such hurt and anger there.

"You lied to me Carlisle. You lied to me, and you lied to Jasper." I knew what she was talking about. "Let me explain Bella." She shook her head, "It's too late. Now get out of my way." I refused to move so she started running down the road. I caught her up easily. "Bella don't do this. Don't leave Jasper this way." She looked at me, shaking, with tears in her eyes, "I have no choice Carlisle. Edward is going to kill everyone who knows me if I don't go to him." I took her arm, "I can't let you go Bella." She tried to pull free but there was no way I was letting her go. "Come back to the house and we'll work something out." She tried to pull away again then slumped in my arms. "Don't tell Jasper" she whispered. I wasn't sure what she wanted me to keep quiet.

Bella

I knew I couldn't get away from Carlisle so I'd have to hope the Cullens could keep everyone safe. They needed to find Edward to make us all safe. As for what had happened to me, I would tell Jasper myself. I didn't want it to come from Carlisle. Why had he lied? What did it achieve? Now I had to go through it all again. When we walked back into the house Alice was there, I wasn't surprised. I guessed she'd seen Carlisle's decision and come along to see what the outcome was.. Carlisle looked at her. "We are not letting Bella go to Edward. She deserves better than that from the family. We will find Edward and we will protect Bella and Charlie and everyone else, but she does not leave the safety of the family." Alice looked sheepish and nodded, "Sorry Carlisle. Sorry Bella." I nodded to her and went to sit, to wait for Jasper to get back. I wanted to see him so badly but I didn't feel I deserved him any more. I was unclean, the one thing I had to give him had been taken from me and I still had to explain that.

Carlisle

I waited outside with Alice for Jasper's return, just in case Bella decided to try again. She just sat on the couch, feet curled under her and arms wrapped around her body as if for comfort. I looked at Alice, "Do you think that helped at all Alice?" I was angry she'd told Bella. Alice glared at me, "She had a right to know Carlisle. She needed to know what he'd done to her." I didn't agree but it was too late now, she knew and both she and Jasper would have to deal with it. I knew Bella would come to terms with it, she was strong. It was Jasper I was worried about, he would hunt Edward to the ends of the earth once he found out what had really happened and I thought I was probably in for a tough time from him for lying. We would have to wait and see.