Title: Fallout

Summary: After Ryan proposes Alexis tries to mend the broken bridges between Ryan and his family with disastrous results. This might seem OOC but we all have moments and reactions that we're not proud of, even Ryan.

Genre: Drama

Characters: Ryan, Alexis

"You what?"

Alexis jerked back at the angry hiss, the tone so harsh and unfamiliar that she felt a prick of fear race down her spine. "I called your parents. I just thought since we're getting married that it would be nice for them to be there."

"Why would you go behind my back to call people who I don't want to talk to? Don't you think if I wanted to bury the hatchet I would have?" Ryan ranted. "I mean God Alexis, what were you thinking?"

She had expected anger but this was something else entirely. Not wanting to back down because she knew she did the right thing she crossed her arms and tried to match his anger. "I was thinking that you needed to move on. You messed up Kevin, they'll forgive you. They're your parents, they love you no matter what."

He pointed angrily at her, "I'll move on when I think I need to. You had no right to do this." After shaking his head and pacing around a moment he whipped around, "Please tell me you didn't call Ava."

Her expression answered his question and he threw his hands up angrily. "That's all I need is my psychotic sister trying to contact me. Everything you do has consequences Alexis, why would I want this stress right before the wedding?"

She watched him pace back and forth in the bedroom and stood her ground. "It's only stressful if you make it stressful, which is what you're doing right now. You're overreacting."

Furious blue eyes snapped to her, "Overreacting? I was a cokehead Alexis! The things I said and did were beyond horrible and now you want me to just get over it? That's insulting to them and to me."

A small sound from the bedroom door made them both stare at a wide eyed Devlin who had tears swimming in his blue eyes and was clutching his blanket tightly to his chest. Ryan groaned while Alexis ran over and hugged him, "Why are you up, I thought you were asleep?"

Devlin looked at his dad and sniffled, "Don't yell at mommy dad. Why are you yelling?"

Ryan tried to project some calm but he just couldn't muster it right now. With a tight forced smile for his son he looked at his fiancée, "I think I'm going to step out for a bit. I love you both." Not wasting any time he grabbed his keys and stormed out into the hallway. As soon as he reached his car he let out a frustrated scream and wondered where in the hell he was going to go. After driving aimlessly he found himself knocking on a familiar door.

It swung open to reveal Lanie who took one look at him and opened the door more with a shout of, "Javi."

Ryan entered and crossed his arms angrily, his foot tapping rapidly on the hardwood. Esposito entered the entry way and frowned at how furious his partner seemed, "Hey Ry, what happened?"

The smaller man's eyes darted to Lanie before returning to trying to stare a hole in the floor. The medical examiner took the hint and with a kiss to her boyfriend's lips she gently patted Ryan's shoulder and left the apartment.

"Alexis and I had a fight."

Figuring if he was this angry he would be here all night he led him to the couch and grabbed a few beers from the fridge. Ever since Lanie and he had become serious Ryan always asked before coming over, Monday nights excluded since they were a given. When he just showed up, which was rare, it meant he truly needed a friend and Lanie was gracious enough to acknowledge this and not make a fuss when it happened. "About?"

He jumped up and began to pace around the couch and in and out of the bedroom and kitchen, Javier letting him wander until he figured out what he wanted to say. "She called my parents and one of my sisters without me knowing. Who does she think she is Javi? Where does she get off interfering with my life?"

He knew Ryan just needed to vent but he needed to fix his obviously confused thoughts. "You asked her to marry you bro, she is your life. She has every right to get involved and yeah she should have told you but what's the big deal here? Don't you want to talk to them again?"

"No!" he shouted before offering a more subdued, "Maybe. I don't know." He finally fell onto the couch and in a moment of vulnerability sat so closely to his partner that their arms brushed slightly. "I just feel betrayed, she's supposed to make things better not worse. I never told her what was said the last time I talked to them."

Esposito took a long pull from his beer before speaking. "I don't know the whole story, just like I know Alexis doesn't but I know you Ry and you need to walk through the door Alexis opened for you."

He jumped up again, "You're taking her side! You're my partner."

Getting fed up with Ryan's outlandish behavior he slammed his beer down on the table and stood to meet him eye to eye. "I'm not taking sides Ryan and of course I'm your partner. I love you bro and that's why I tell you what you don't always want to hear but what you need to hear. Alexis should have asked you first but she didn't and you should be thankful that she took the first step because your chicken ass sure wasn't."

Both men stood glaring at each other until Ryan mumbled, "I'm going to bed."

Fighting an eye roll he just turned and headed for his room knowing Ryan would make his own bed on the couch and they would talk again in the morning.

When morning arrived Javier entered the living room and frowned at the sight of the empty couch. Ryan never left without telling him. He looked around but he was just gone, no sign that he had ever even been there. His phone began to ring and without looking at the caller i.d. he pressed the green answer button. "Esposito."

"It's Alexis, have you seen Kevin? He left last night and never came back home and I'm getting nervous."

He pursed his lips and shook his head, "He came over last night but left at some point 'cause he ain't here. If I find him I'll call you."

"Thank you."

When Esposito arrived at the precinct he let out a curse at the sight of Ryan's car and stormed inside looking for him. He found him in the gym beating on a punching bag with only taped hands and no gloves. "What the hell bro, you're worrying Alexis."

Ryan ignored him and kept beating at the bag until Esposito grabbed him and spun him around only to narrowly dodge a right hook. Figuring this was what he needed he sparred with him and waited for him to tire out which fortunately only took a few minutes, he must have been here a while. Having nothing left to give Ryan finally just fell to the mat and lay on his back sucking in gulps of air. "I was too angry to go home Javi," he panted.

Knowing they probably looked ridiculous but just not caring he plopped down next to him, "You have to get over this bro. Talk to your mom and dad and move on. I know you carry that with you everyday, it's a heavy load to bear."

He sat up and crossed his legs, staring at his now bruised hands. "What do I even say to them? It's been ten years." He began undoing the tape and shook his head, "Last thing I said to my dad was 'I hate you' and now Alexis has me feeling like I need to fix that. How the hell do I make this right after cussing out Ava and telling my mom she was a bitch? She should have left well-enough alone."

"Don't you want to fix it? That wasn't you talking Ry and they all know that."

"I don't know how to fix it and now I have that to worry about." He suddenly stood, "Why are we even talking about this? I don't want to talk about it." Not sparing a second glance he stormed out and after a quick shower he simmered at his desk.

Castle was the next unfortunate soul to suffer Ryan's wrath. The writer entered happily enough and walked over to his young friends desk and sat down. "Alexis wanted me to tell you to please call her. She's worried about you." They had come a long ways in the last two years, Castle accepting that Ryan and Alexis had their own problems that they needed to work out on their own. He of course was still curious about their arguments but he respectfully didn't ask questions. Most of the time. "Do you want to talk about it? I do have a wide array of knowledge."

Ryan fixed his icy stare at him, "No I don't want to talk about it. With anyone."

"It might do you some good."

Castle was saved by Ryan's ringing cell. He grabbed it and disappeared into the break room, thankful for the distraction. "Ryan."

"I've been worried about you all night and then you just answer your phone like nothing's wrong? Dev had to sleep with me because he was so upset. It's not just you Kevin, you can't just throw temper tantrums."

He wilted a little at the fact he had her worried and had upset his son. "I'm sorry for worrying you guys I just can't get over this. This wasn't something that had anything to do with you. You opened up a can of worms that I wasn't ready to open."

A frustrated noise sounded through the line. "If we're going to get married you have to learn that everything you do is relevant to me too. There is no me or you anymore, it's just us."

"Maybe I don't want there to be an us." The words were out before he could stop them and there was no turning back.

The line was silent for several beats until Alexis spoke in a deadly tone. "I'm going to act like you didn't just say that because I know you're upset. Now I suggest you get your head out of your ass, otherwise don't come home. I love you Kevin but I don't like you right now."

Ryan pulled his phone away from his ear and just stood there before returning to his desk.

Later in the day Castle and Beckett stood in the break room spying on Ryan under the guise of making coffee. "I don't know Kate, I overheard Ryan and he didn't sound like he even wanted to get married anymore."

She shook her head, "Don't listen to him, he's just dealing with something deeply private and emotional and having a hard time figuring out how to express himself. Instead of shutting down he's lashing out. Have you talked to Alexis?"

Castle nodded, "She's handling this remarkably well. She knows Ryan's just upset but it's of course still bothering her. Do you think you could talk to her?"

"I was going to anyway. Do you know why he doesn't talk to his family?"

The writer shook his head, "No idea but the more I hear the more I think it's because of something Ryan did."

The week passed slowly for everyone, Ryan spending most nights on his partner's couch and only conversing with Alexis over the phone and in passing. Devlin could of course feel the tension between them when they were all home together and one day after school tearfully begged his father to fix whatever was wrong. Ryan had promised to right the wrong and apologized profusely for upsetting everyone. He wanted to explain to Devlin why he had been angry but he was still too young to understand that his father hadn't always been a mild tempered model citizen and had said and done terrible things that directly affected the people he cared about. Much like right now. Anger was easier than embarrassment, throwing a temper tantrum was simpler than talking about something you kept buried for years.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly that night to his fiancée after Devlin had gone to bed. "For everything."

Alexis simply nodded, "Are you staying here tonight or going to Esposito's?"

He hated how much he had screwed this up. "Here, if it's alright with you."

The two climbed into the bed and laid next to each other in the dark until Ryan tried to explain to the best of his ability what happened. "I just felt so betrayed by you but I finally realized that you didn't do it to hurt me. I didn't even know how to react so I just panicked. I love you Lex."

"I love you too but it's still not ok."

He tentatively grabbed her hand, "I know that and I'll make it up to you. I said terrible unforgivable things to everyone the last time I saw them, I have no idea how to move on."

"That's the part you don't understand Kevin. No matter what you could ever say or do they'll love you and you're lucky that it's the same with me."

"What did you guys talk about?"

She scooted a little closer to him and rolled onto her side to face him better. "Not much really. After the extremely awkward task of explaining who I was I just told them basic things about you and I. I didn't mention Devlin or anything too private, I mostly just told them you're a homicide detective and getting married."

"How'd they sound?" he asked in a small voice.

"Surprised, elated, confused. They're both healthy and so are all your sisters. Ava was mostly quite when I talked to her. They all want to see you and talk to you but I told them I wasn't sure when you would call them."

The minutes ticked by, Ryan trying to work through everything and Alexis having nothing more to say, and eventually both fell asleep. When Alexis woke she saw she was alone but the bed was still warm indicating he had only recently gotten up. With quiet movements she slipped on a shirt and padded to the doorway but halted and smiled softly at her soon to be husbands voice floated from the kitchen.

"Hi ma…It's Kevin…"