Chapter Forty Seven
Jasper
I saw Carlisle watching the house and surprisingly Alice was with him. They looked apprehensive as I passed them and swung myself in through Bella's bedroom window. There was a letter on the desk, addressed to me. I picked it up, why would Bella be writing to me? I put it in my pocket to ask her about. Charlie wasn't home yet so I went downstairs. She was sitting curled up on the couch as if trying to keep her body from falling to pieces, "Bella darlin' I'm sorry I was so long. Have you heard any more from Charlie?" She looked up at me and I knew that there was more wrong than her mother's death. I knelt in front of her and tried to put my arms around her but she flinched away. "Bella, what's wrong? Tell me? What did I do?" She looked into my eyes and started to cry before lowering them again. I was getting scared now, I couldn't lose my Princess. I pulled her unyielding body into my arms and held her tight as she sobbed in anguish.
Bella
I wasn't sure how to tell him, I felt dirty and unhappy and I needed him so much. When he put his arms around me I felt better despite myself and I couldn't help throwing my arms around his neck. I was terrified he might reject me when he knew what had really happened in Canada. "Jasper" I whispered between sobs, "I have to tell you something and I don't want you to be angry with me."He pulled back in surprise, "Angry with you? How could I be angry with you? I love you Bella." I knew he did but I couldn't imagine him wanting me when he knew the truth. He picked me up and sat me on his lap but I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to see the disgust or loathing on his face when I told him. "Jasper, I found something out this evening and you need to know." He rocked me back and forth, stroking my hair as he did so. "Whatever you tell me Bella it won't make any difference to the way I feel about you."
Jasper
She shook her head at that, and I felt her tremble, "Oh it will Jasper. It will". I waited trying to calm her as I rocked her in my lap. "Jasper" her voice was so quiet now even I had to strain to hear it. "Carlisle lied." I must be thick because I didn't get it. I waited and she repeated herself, "Carlisle lied...about Edward" I sat trying to work out what she was telling me, then I felt her self loathing and it hit me. I held her tighter, "And you think that would change the way I feel about you?" She tensed, "Doesn't it?" I pulled her head back far enough to kiss her tear-stained face. "Hey Bella, you didn't do anything. If anyone needs to beg forgiveness for past deeds its me not you. Nothing he did changes my love for you." I was fucking seething but I couldn't let her know. "Darlin' I love you and nothing with change that. We'll get over it together it makes no difference." I felt her relax slowly and curl into a ball in my lap, her arms still wound around my neck.
As she slept in my arms I thought of a thousand ways I would make Edward pay for what he had done to my Princess. Carlisle appeared in the doorway,
"I know you are angry with me and I'm sure you have a lot you want to say, but save it until this is sorted. I suggest you read that letter she wrote. I don't know what she said but I saw her face as she wrote and I stopped her leaving when she'd finished it".
I looked up at that, "Stopped her leaving?"
He nodded, "Yes. I think she was going to Edward."
"What" I hissed.
"Read the letter Jasper before you do anything else. We'll be at the house when you are ready to talk. Charlie will be back soon so you might want to stay a while."
After he left I managed to get the letter out of my pocket without waking Bella and opened it, not wanting to know what she had written, but wanting to as well. I read her words and realized what it had taken for her to write those lies to try and keep me safe. She hadn't lied to me in Canada, she'd been lied to by Carlisle and I wondered if either of us would ever trust him again.
Bella
When I woke up Charlie was sitting opposite talking in a low voice to Jasper. I kept my eyes closed and listened. Jasper would know I was awake but Charlie wouldn't and I wanted to know what he knew about Renee's accident. Had Edward really been responsible for it or had he just used it as a way of getting to me? "I appreciate your staying with Bella. She took it really hard." Charlie thanking Jazz, well that was an improvement.
"I knew she was hurting Charlie and I never want to see her like it again. You know how I feel about her." Charlie coughed and took a sip of something, beer I guessed, "Yeah, I see that and I know she's in love with you, or thinks she is...no, she is. I just want you to know that if you ever hurt her I'll come after you with a gun."
Jasper laughed, "I know Charlie. You need to know that I'll kill anyone who hurts her too."
Charlie mumbled a bit under his breath not realizing that Jasper could hear him, "Damn guy says the right thing every time. "Well Jasper, unless you want to sit there all night I guess you might want to wake her up and send her to bed."
Jazz chuckled, "I don't mind staying but if you'd rather.."
"Yeah, I'd rather she went to bed and you went home until tomorrow."
Jasper got up with me in his arms, "Rather than wake her I'll just carry her up" he said going through to the stairs. Charlie didn't like it but what could he do. Jasper carried me into my bedroom after stopping to ask Charlie which one it was, smooth move Jazz I thought. He laid me on the bed and kissed me, "See you in ten" he whispered before covering me with the quilt and going out, saying goodnight to Charlie.
He came in to see me as soon as he'd locked the door. I played asleep and he crept over kissing my cheek before going to bed himself. It was about eight minutes before I felt the mattress sag as Jasper joined me on the bed. He took me in his arms and held me for the rest of the night until he heard Charlie getting up. "I'll be over in an hour for you. By the way, I read this. You lie really badly." He put the torn up letter I'd written him on my pillow and kissed me before leaving via the window.