Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia !
Alfred's Thoughts: blah blah blah
Andrew: blah blah blah
Bit: blah blah blah
I hate pretending to be an idiot...
Alfred was sitting next to England while chomping on a burger.
He had just finished his 'speech' and was looking around at the bored-looking nations.
He knew what they were thinking about him...
What an idiot!
Why can't he just grow up already?
What a joke!
But what did England think?
Alfred closed his eyes, probably the same as everyone else...he thinks I'm just a stupid brat he failed to raise.
...failed to raise?
It was no secret that Arthur was still melancholy over the was no secret that Arthur was convinced that Alfred separated because he hated him.
...hated him?
The only thing Arthur's feelings proved was that Alfred's plan had worked.
Billy has been quiet all morning...usually Billy's always yaking on during meetings...
Wait, everyone left already?
He noticed England staring at him and felt his stomach turn.
He decided to play it off.
"Hey dude- can you quit starin' at me? It's getting pretty creepy."
He smirked.
"Were you checking me out?"
He smiled as his 'big brother''s face lit up like a tomato.
Arthur, you're just too funny.
"I-I was not! I was just speculating on how you are going to dieof heart dezie due to all those bloody hamburgers! They're like cancer wrapped in styrophome!"
He laughed the way he had perfected over the years and walked over to the door-
"At least they're better than those hunks of charcoal you tried to feed me last week!".
Arthur sputtered angrily, "T-Those were scones you idiot! You just don't have any taste buds! Anyway, what was with that idiotic presentation?"
- only to freeze mid-step at the threshold.
"Why do you have to act so childish all the time?!"
His heart skipped a beat and his blood ran cold.
When had he ever been 'childish'?
Sure it was his intention to seem like an idiot...but childish?
I wasn't even a child as a child...
"Not all the time, Arthur."
He walked away.
Slamming the door behind him, he ran up the stairs and into his room.
Dammit! Shut up fucker!
But Alfred-
No!
Listen to Bit, Alfred, he's just telling you the tr-
I don't wanna hear it!
Alfred...you need to let it go...he doesn't know all you went through for him...
I know-but I just...I just want to someone to tell me...that they're proud of me...
Oh Alfred...we're proud of-
"It's not the same! It's not the same as someone else telling me!"
...Who do you want to tell you...Arthur? You said it yourself that you didn't want to tell him...Alfre-
"No! Shut up! Just shut up!", Alfred fumbled around his drawer until he found it.
That familiar orange bottle with the missing sticker.
Alfred! No! Don't do it-you don't know what it'll-
Alfred! Stop it-what if Billy-
"All of you just shut the fuck up!"
And he popped open the lid and swallowed two white pills dry.
His head was spinning and his legs were shaking.
Bit?
A-Andrew?
No answer.
He felt sleepy.
...so I really am a fake...
He fumbled for the phone on his bedside table and dialed the only number he knew by heart.
England's.
Pickuppickuppickuppickuppick up-
"America? Why the bloody hell are you calling meright now? It bloody better be important because if it's about wanting to put more McDonald's in London I'm hanging up right now because-"
He began to panic.
No! Don't leave me!
"NO! Don't h-hang up! Oh God please don't go!"
"Alfred? Alfred what's wrong, love? Are you okay?"
Love...he still calls me that, doesn't he?...Why? Why would he still...
"N-No. N-not okay a-at all..."
"What's wrong? Are you hurt? Is it the economy? I knew you were feeling under the weather because of it-but is it really that bad?"
And for some reason...he began to laugh...
His hands began to shake and the phone stand clattered to the floor-he followed it was slumped next to his bed with his back on the side table.
I don't want to disappear...I want to be real...I want to be by your side forever...
He began to wail.
"America!"
I like living...I like being the only America-no, I was never the only America...and now...I know that I was never the real America to begin with...
"America what's going on?!"
He stopped mid-scream when the realization kicked in.
"...I-I'm so sorry Arthur...I tried I r-really did...but-but I can't take it anymore...it hurts"
He whimpered as his head throbbed painfully.
"I-I thought that I could avoid it but I can't...I'm so sorry"
I'm so tired...I'm so sorry, Arthur...You were right, Arthur...
"I-I think I did alright...but..."
He took a breath as he felt his conscious begin to fade.
"...I don't want to die Iggy...I-I want to stay with you...but I can't...I have to go...goodbye..."
I really am an idiot...