"I..."
He couldn't speak.
"Why?"
He just couldn't believe.
"Why would he go through all that...?"
He just couldn't understand.
"...For someone like me...?"
Love is a curious thing,
Whether familial or psychical,
Love is a mystery to all,
Love is but a thing with wings,
A bird with eyes of steel,
And talons of hate,
They say there is a fine line,
Between Hate and Love,
This is a lie,
Hate stands outside of a stone wall,
A stone wall that makes a fort,
And within that fort lies Love,
And Love desipes Hate,
Hate cannot get inside,
But when Love despies Hate enough,
Even Love will be thrown out of the fort,
And will never again be allowed in,
Never again will Love be safe,
Instead it will be with Hate forever,
And they will keep each other company,
And follow each other to the grave,
Andrew and Bit were silent as England sobbed hysterically into France's shirt. The Frenchmen had sympathetic tears flowing down his own cheeks, and his arms were wrapped protectively around the shaking brit. Canada was leaning on the wall for support and was letting out small sobs of his own.
"Hush, mon amor."
"B-but h-he w-went through a-all that p-pain and s-suffering for me! He s-shouldn't h-have-shouldn't h-have-!" he trailed off into another bout of whimpers.
France just tightened his hold.
Andrew looked at Bit and motioned to the door next to him and spoke in a hushed tone.
"You should do it now, while they're still being pansies. You should go get it."
"You know he won't take it well..."
"He's not taking any of this well."
"..."
"You realize he deserves this...right?"
"..."
"After all he's put Alfred through, this guilt is something he deserves to suffer through."
"...but, it's not his fault..."
"Doesn't matter."
"...fine-but you're going to get it.I don't even want to look at it-let alone touch it."
Alfred sniffed as he signed his name.
"It's done...now to just find somewhere to put it..."
Stuffing the letter in an envelope with England's name on it, he quietly tiptoed from the englishman's study. It was dusk and Arthur had just left to go drinking.
He didn't have to be quiet-the servants were off today.
But he couldn't help it.
He couldn't help but feel ashamed.
"I wonder if this is how all suicidal people feel before they end it..."
Entering his room, he slipped the note beneathe his bed with a sigh.
"Forgive me, big brother."
"What is this?"
"Open it. It's for you."
Arthur blinked and slowly opened the faded yellow envelope.
The paper was old and the ink was smudged...but the words burned his heart.
Dear Arthur,
I don't know where to start. No, that's a lie. I think I should start with saying thank you. Thank you for being the best brother I could ask for. You took me in, you feed me, bathed me, played with me, and most of all: you gave me a family. When I lived in the wilderness, the only family I had were animals-and I can't really talk with animals so it wasn't enough for me. You gave my world color and filled it with life. I couldn't ask for a better brother.
But, now I need to tell you something that will make you sad. I don't like seeing you sad-it doesn't suit you. I like it when you smile. But I have to tell you. I have to tell someone.
I'm a liar.
You asked me if I was alright when I started saying that I saw a boy that wasn't there. I lied later and said I was just pretending.
I wasn't.
Maybe I'm crazy, I don't know. What I do know, is that I am a liar and a coward.
There is a boy named Billy who lives in my head and wants to kill you. No, he's not a boy-he's a monster. He says that are just using me for my land. I don't believe him. I think you love me. I hope I'm right.
That's the short version.
Unfortunatley I'm running out of space to write so I'm going to have to make it short.
I need to disappear.
I need to disappear to save you from myself.
I am so sorry to have to do this-but I have no choice.
I can't keep living like this. I can't keep living in a world where all my laughs and smiles are fake. I can't live in a world where something in my own head wants to kill you.
I won't let you die.
You are my big brother and I love you.
Please don't look for me-I don't want you to see my ultimate act of cowardice.
Thank you, again.
I love you.
Goodbye, Arthur Kirkland, England, my big brother.
Love,
Alfred Freedom Jones