Title: Glitter Bomb

Summary: In the harsh light of day the boys try to figure out what happened during Ryan's bachelor party. Takes place a week before Ryan and Alexis get married. Crack-fic.

Genre: Humor

Characters: Ryan, Esposito, Castle

Alexis walked nervously down the hallway to her father's apartment and scooted past a woman shaking her head angrily while picking up cereal off the floor. While she had a quiet spa day and evening with the girls Ryan had been taken out with Castle and Esposito to who knows where for his bachelor party. She trusted him, that wasn't an issue, but fear of the unknown crept in the closer they got to the apartment. When she pushed the key into the lock she took a deep breath trying to prepare herself for whatever may lay on the other side of the heavy wood.

Alexis, Beckett, and Lanie all entered the apartment before coming to an abrupt halt when they looked around. The apartment was a complete and total wreck, it looked like a frat party exploded sometime during the night. Pillows were scattered everywhere along with most of Castle's toys and gadgets. A tie was swinging idly from the ceiling fan while the tv droned on in an infomercial. Books were off their shelves and food was on every available surface along with numerous empty bottles of liquor. Abba, oddly enough, was playing from a stereo somewhere in the apartment and most of Martha's costumes seemed to be somewhere on the floor.

Castle was asleep on top of the table dressed in boxers, an undershirt, and a pink feathered boa that Alexis recognized as her grandmother's. Esposito was on the couch would only contained two cushions dressed in only his boxers and clutching a red PS3 remote to his chest and Ryan was on the floor half on the missing couch cushion with his face smashed against the rug underneath the coffee table and dressed in his boxers and one orange and black striped sock.

It was amazing how different yet how similar the three men were. Physically the differences were obvious, Castle was by far the tallest and more husky than the other two while Esposito was definitely in the best shape and had the bronzed skin the other two lacked, and Ryan was the shortest and leanest with his jutting shoulder blades. Personality wise they were also different with Castle's extreme excitability and Esposito's strong and silent type to Ryan's quiet and thoughtful. One would never think they would get along so well yet here they were after an obviously good night.

"What in the world?" Beckett mumbled and Lanie began to laugh when she noticed that for some reason her boyfriend and Ryan were covered in red glitter.

"Up and at 'em boys!" Lanie shouted.

Castle just snorted and rolled onto his stomach while Esposito groaned and threw his arm over his eyes. Ryan however blinked a few times and sat up before rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms and yawning. When he finally noticed his lack of clothing and his female audience he grabbed the cushion and held it up to help preserve his modesty. "Where are my clothes?"

Taking pity on him Alexis walked forward and grabbed a shirt hanging off of the book shelf and handed it to him. A quick look at the label revealed an M, at least it was his shirt. He quickly pulled it over his head and pulled off the one sock before holding it up and eventually flinging it away. "And whose sock is this? What time is it?"

"Why are you talking so much?" Esposito mumbled. "I feel like my head is going to explode. Just because you don't get hangovers doesn't mean I'm not in pain."

"Suck it up Javi," Lanie said with a grin as she walked over and sat next to him, her eyes raking over his muscular and glitter covered torso. "And this glitter better not be from some stripper named Cherry."

Ryan frowned in confusion and rubbed his hand through his hair which immediately sent bright red sparkles into the air. "Glitter? God what the hell happened last night? I knew I shouldn't have let Castle buy the drinks."

"It's not my fault," the writer mumbled as Beckett walked over and helped him off the table and into a chair. "The bartender said something about bastards…"

Esposito's eyes bugged, "Is that what those were? I'm lucky I still have a liver. Now who remembers what we did last night?"

Ryan looked around for his pants before finally giving up and just swallowing his pride and modesty and standing. After grabbing a slice of cold pizza off the table and taking a bite he stared at the wall in thought. "We started at that club Castle brought us to and met that guy."

"Emilio!" Castle said exaggeratedly.

"Oh yeah," Ryan said with a smile and a laugh. "We were there for a long time. Then we went somewhere…"

Everyone sat quietly until Castle mumbled, "Breakfast and coffee. And painkillers." Castle and Esposito made their way to the kitchen with their girlfriends while Ryan stayed behind with his fiancée. As soon as they were alone he kissed her softly and ran his hand over her barely rounded stomach.

"I missed you last night."

Alexis accepted his offered hug and melted into him, "I missed you too. So last night, were there women involved?"

He smiled gently, "You know me better than that. Javi and I may be covered in glitter but I don't think it came from any women. Come on let's go eat because this pizza is just not cutting it."

When they got to the kitchen Castle shook his head at Ryan's smiling face. "Why on God's green Earth are you so happy? Could you at least try to show respect for those of us that are dying?"

Alexis looked at him in alarm but he simply shrugged and played it cool. "Just a good day. Ok so after the club then what happened?"

Castle rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Uh… we went to get something to eat."

Esposito nodded, "At that little place on 16th. That's where the glitter came from! That girl!"

"What girl?" Lanie asked as she crossed her arms.

Ryan grinned, "She was awesome, totally out in left field crazy. She had to be early twenties and she blessed us with 'fairy dust'. Castle ran away before he got glitter bombed like Javi and I."

Esposito laughed softly. "Said her name was Super Nova. Had on wings and everything and after the 'blessing' she proceeded to challenge us to a cartwheel race. Ry won."

"That's why I got the grand prize. A coupon for a free ice cream," he exclaimed excitedly. "I stuck it in my pants, which are missing for some reason."

Beckett laughed and looked at her boyfriend, "And where were you?"

"Who do you think was judging this contest? Ryan had great form despite being intoxicated enough that his tie was wrapped around his forehead like Rambo."

Alexis opened the fridge and pulled out a shirt which she didn't recognize. "Whose is this?" Esposito held up his hand and she tossed the cold object over to him before beginning to make eggs and toast. "Then what happened Mr. Rambo?"

Ryan looked at his partner. "I get pretty fuzzy after that. I just remember playing Madden and Castle doing a victory dance that involved Martha's boa."

All three were quiet until Esposito snapped his fingers, "Castle hustled a guy out of a watch, traded him Ryan's coupon for the watch." Everyone immediately looked at the writer's wrist where indeed there was a shiny new timepiece staring up at him. "I can't remember what you were saying to him but whatever it was it must have worked."

Castle just continued staring at it for a few seconds. "Huh. Moving on."

Esposito rubbed his temples, "Then we... played laser tag and the loser of every round had to take off a piece of clothing." At Beckett's arched brow he shrugged, "When guys drink we usually end up missing clothes. It's just a fact."

Castle and Ryan agreed with serious nods as Alexis handed everyone a plate with a cup of coffee. "May I ask why there's Lucky Charms everywhere? Including in your hair?" she asked as she picked out a rainbow marshmallow.

Esposito began to laugh and pointed to his partner. "I remember that! I dared you to run down the hallway in your boxers throwing Lucky Charms and shouting 'they're after my pot of gold'."

Ryan could only sit slack jawed as a blush crept up from his neck to his cheeks. "Please tell me there are no pictures."

Castle began to chuckle as the memory returned to him, "If we can find the camera I'll let you know."

"Anything else we should know about?" Lanie asked.

All three men looked at each other and shook their heads, "Nothing we can think of."

"You're sure?" Beckett asked.

Castle nodded, "Pretty sure."

All three woman just nodded while hiding small smiles.

"What?" Ryan asked suspiciously.

Lanie smiled patiently at him before looking at her boyfriend, "Honey do your ribs feel a little sore?"

Esposito rubbed his side, "Now that you mention it yeah."

Ryan looked over and began to laugh hysterically but stopped instantly when he noticed his side was hurting too. "No way. No way in hell. Oh my God." With a jerk to his shirt he stared down at his side as best he could at the brand new tattoo.

Esposito began to laugh as he pointed, "Is that a Lego Stormtrooper?"

Ryan stared at the upside down design wishing he had a mirror. "I believe it is and stop laughing. Yours is the outline of Darth Vader."

Beckett quickly lifted Castle's shirt and shook her head, "Boba Fett. Nice. You do realize you three will never get to hang out alone without supervision again right?"

Alexis approached Ryan and grinned as her hand slid over the design about as big as his palm, "At least the tattoos match all your personalities to a certain extent. Dev will love this and it's pretty adorable." After kissing his cheek she pulled down his shirt and grinned. "Best night ever?"

All three men answered instantaneously. "Totally."