She loved him. Despite his quirks and phobias. Regardless of his rules and routines. He was the first man to ever take a real interest in her. He brought her into his circle of friends. Thanks to him she had friends, romance (sort of) and she was no longer lonely.
She desired him. She had spent three years diligently working on breaking down his walls. She wanted a real relationship with him, an intimate relationship with him. She wasn't stupid, though. She knew he cared for her. She knew he was faithful. She also knew he loved her. He loved her bestie, and even more heartbreaking, Penny loved him back.
But they were both utterly clueless about how they felt. With each passing year, her hope grew that they were never going to realize it. Some days, she was very guilt ridden because she knew that as a true friend she should step aside and let them be together. But fear always stopped her. Fear of being alone. Fear of abandonment. Fear of losing them both.
She watched Sheldon pour them both a cup of tea as he explained about his latest theory. She almost hoped they would never figure it out. She almost wished they would.