19 Hurt & Closer
In the end it was more than two weeks since Figgins called assemblies and there was a lot of crap going on at school. Puck wasn't really all that grateful for the delay, between nerves over his own performance and anticipation of Rachel's song he wasn't too thrilled with any adult. Add the fact that by the time they all got to perform Finn would be in Glee again and he was so wound up he'd hit the sandbag twice in four days. On the bright side Rachel had invited he and Bekah and his mom over for dinner again.
Dinner at Rachel's house had been surprisingly fun. Hiram and LeRoy were already great and knew him pretty well from all the studying he and Rache did together. Hiram had been happy to see Bekah again, it turned out they'd bonded over Belle as the best Disney princess. Who knew, Puck smirked to himself as he slouched in his auditorium seat. His mom had been tentative but she'd gotten to know LeRoy when he'd driven her up to the hospital and she knew Hiram from synagogue. In the end his mom had been so tired that she'd dozed off on the couch. He'd ended up driving her home while Rachel followed him in his truck with Bekah.
Watching Rachel in the kitchen had was always awesome, that woman was so damn organized she could give the army lessons. But he guessed since she was pretty much the one who did the cooking these days she'd have to be or she'd spent her life behind the stove instead of the microphone. She'd sent a shitload of leftovers home with him because she knew the food would go bad before she and her dads could finish it and that had been awesome because Saturday mornings were the worst. He'd been able to make a sandwich out of leftover roast beef and that had kept him going until he could get lunch at work.
Santana sat down beside him and he cocked an eyebrow at her, "Satan," He managed to keep his tone civil.
"She's gonna make you cream your jeans," Santana told him gleefully, "And Finn's gonna lose his shit."
Yeah, Puck sighed, Finn was back at school, and in Glee, and if Puck had been keeping Rachel's pictures confidential before he was even more paranoid about it now. He'd moved the two nudes to a sd card and kept that very carefully in its little case in his nightstand drawer. The rest of the pictures were still on his phone but they weren't nudes so he wasn't too worried. He didn't want Rachel's reputation trashed the way his was. He'd shown Artie just because the guy had been teasing him so much about the damn shirt he'd promised Rachel. Artie's reaction had been…gratifying. And Artie had mentioned it to Sam and Mike and of course he'd had to show Lauren since Lauren had gotten to second base with Rachel before Puck had so he kinda owed her.
"Yeah well Finn better not start anything or I swear I'll finish it this time," Puck muttered. "The dizzy spells are totally gone and I've had all summer to work out so I'm back up to full badass."
"A little bird says that the Diva might not have as much trouble with her song as Schue expects," Santana changed the subject. "Something about a previously hidden passionate side?"
Puck couldn't help the grin that stretched his lips at that, "Yeah well that little bird might not be wrong." He knew his tone was smug and he just didn't care, "My girl…San she's…" He glanced at her. "I know you're proud of your chops, but she really could give you a run for your money if she ever decided to…you know."
"Fuck half the school and cock-tease the other half?" Santana asked dryly, "Why do you think I give her so much shit. Anybody who sings like she does has a volcano inside her. She's just only had singing and dance as an outlet."
"Yeah well…she's got another one now," Puck couldn't stop grinning his pleasure.
"Yeah?" Santana actually grinned at him. "I dunno if she an' I'll ever be best buds, seems like she has you for that. But…and I swear if you tell anyone I got mushy I'll kill you, I'm glad you're with her. You're… happy Puck. Like I never seen you happy and she's never been so easy to deal with."
"If I show you something you'll keep it to yourself right?" Puck made a decision, Santana and he had been buds for a long time even if the last year they'd messed up, they were getting to normal again. "I mean seriously to yourself, I don't want her reputation trashed San."
"Hey I might call her names but all that shit that went down with Finn? I was pissed that he'd lied like I was something to be ashamed of, like what we did was dirty." Santana shook her head, "Wasn't fair to take it out on her, an' I'm tryin' you know for your sake, but I'm not goin' for blood these days."
"Okay then," Puck grinned and pulled out his phone, "And you can't go try to mack on my girl when you see these either because she is serious hotness." He flicked his thumb over until he found the gallery he'd password protected and got it open. Handing Santana the phone he smiled, "Check out my girl."
"Madre de Dios…" Santana swore in Spanish and her eyebrows shot up. She flicked through the pictures and stopped on the last one of Rachel's dreamily sexy face. "Damn Puckerman, this girl is…head over heels for you."
"I said she was," Puck nodded when she handed him back the phone. "You didn't believe me?"
"Your history ain't the best babe," Santana shrugged. "At first I was worried you were a rebound for her. I didn't think she really liked you…mostly because I didn't think she was that smart. After Nationals though, she was so...not dramatic, just matter of fact, like she is about Broadway. But this summer...and…those pictures are awesome but that last one… you can see how much she loves you, it's out there all over her face."
"Yeah that's my favorite one," Puck grinned and looked up as Rachel came up to their seats. "Hey gorgeous, how's it going?" He stood so she could get past him to her seat.
"I can't believe Schuester let Finn back into Glee after what he did," Rachel was still furious about that but smiled at Santana. "And today? When we both have to perform? Finn's going to freak and I really don't think anyone can afford another trip to the hospital."
"I'm keeping my distance gorgeous I promise," Puck took her hand. "I just showed Santana your pictures," He said with a grin, "So if she gets up in your business just tell her I've spoiled you for all other men and women okay?"
Rachel laughed softly, a sensual throaty chuckle, "Well you have so it won't be a lie." She looked over at Santana, "What did you think?"
"Puck was right Berry, seriously hot shit in that shirt. And on his bed?" Santana actually grinned and fanned herself with her hand. "Might just have to talk him into a threesome."
Rachel grinned at him and then Santana, "I'd like to get him inside me before I share him. But I bet he wouldn't mind if you kissed me in front of him." She slanted a glance at Puck's face and then his lap and he knew his girl could tell just how much blood had drained out of his brain. "Yeah…I'd say he definitely likes that idea." She and Santana shared a wicked chuckle that went straight to his groin.
"You two are fuckin' killin' me here," He groaned and grabbed Rachel to kiss her hard on the lips. "That'll give you something to think about while you're singin'." He felt her moan into his mouth and Santana smacked him on the shoulder.
"Schuester is giving you to the evil eye you moron," Santana hissed. "Put your woman back in her seat Puckerman."
Rachel giggled against his lips and slid back into her chair giving Schuester her attention while Puck discreetly adjusted the bulge in his jeans to a more comfortable position much to Santana's amusement.
For once ignoring their teacher Rachel leaned around Puck again and whispered to Santana, "By the way Santana, I wanted to thank you for your help with my costume. You and Kurt were invaluable."
"It was worth puttin' up with you two divas 'cause Puck is gonna bust his jeans when he sees you," Santana was chuckling in anticipation and Schuester was giving all three of them dirty looks as Artie wheeled onstage. Puck settled down and gave his friend his full attention, Schuester was full of crap these days but Artie was the man and he really gave his song a new twist. Puck hadn't ever heard 'Burn' sung like that pain and fury and regret all in one.
Then it was his turn and he grabbed his guitar from the row behind him, "Gimme a lucky kiss gorgeous," He asked and groaned as Rachel laid one on him that sent all the blood in his body on fire.
"You're going to be great baby," She murmured against his lips.
"Thanks," Puck grinned and felt all his nerves melt away, bounding up to the stage. Grabbing a stool and pulling it to center stage he took a seat and took a minute to check the guitar strings. "So you all heard Mr. Schue assign me 'Hurt'. Not my usual style, but here goes," He looked straight at Rachel. "You know you helped me change, I wouldn't be who I am now without your help. So I hope I don't ever make you feel like this song. But if I do…I'll give everything I have to fix it." Rachel's smile was so bright it was blinding and he smiled slightly looking down at the guitar and strumming the opening chords. The music was almost bare and the vocals started at odd places; that had been the hardest to deal with, singing almost acapella.
"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real,"
He could remember punching a wall when he was thirteen, tearing a hole in the drywall and focusing on the pain in his knuckles to forget the ache in his heart when he heard people talking about his dead beat dad and his guaranteed future dead beat status.
"The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything,"
He'd never done drugs, alcohol and sex had been his chosen vices, but he remembered the hazy feeling of the morphine and the temptation of losing himself in that dream world without pain or suffering, but without Rachel or music. The temptation had died but he knew just how easy it would be to succumb, to dive back into a bottle.
"What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt,"
He remembered the last time he'd slushied Rachel, the sick feeling he'd gotten of hurting someone he actually had known his entire life, someone who'd never called him a loser no matter how much he acted like one. Her eyes had been shocked and pained but resigned and it had made him want to throw up that she just accepted how he treated her; that she had started to give up on him.
"I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way."
Puck had known that Schuester would call him on the word change from shit to thorns in the first line of the second verse but he liked how Johnny Cash's version had sounded and since the Man in Black was the ultimate badass he would take his version any day. Saying as much to Mr. Schue had stumped the teacher. Puck wondered if he'd even been aware Cash had done Hurt or if he'd thought Puck wouldn't bother to research the assignment at all.
Getting off the stage wasn't as much fun because Rachel had to go backstage and get ready to help Kurt with his number. Artie gave him a big thumbs up though, while Mike just grinned and told him he was badass. Santana had taken off too, he guessed she and Rachel were Kurt's backup.
Brittany smiled and told him he had a pretty voice, which he guessed was supposed to be a compliment. The girl was sweet but really out there. The one time he'd hooked up with her she'd babbled on about unicorns after her orgasm. Weirdest shit he'd ever heard but she'd been fun too. He settled in a seat near Artie and Mike, Blaine and Quinn a row in front of him, Finn conspicuously two rows down and ten seats away.
Kurt did pretty good with the girls backing him up, and Blaine clapped and whistled in his seat next to Quinn, Puck grinned and gave the groups male Diva a big thumbs up and a holler. Then Blaine was hopping up and hurrying backstage while Santana came down the steps to sit and wait with Brittany and the other girls. Puck raised his eyebrows as Santana turned in her seat to look at him. "I hope you have some self-control by now Puckerman." Santana smirked evilly, "Your girl is about to blow your mind."
"Too late for that," Puck shot back carelessly, "My brain's been mush since she first kissed me."
Artie laughed a bit, "Truer words man. He's got little birdies and hearts floatin' 'round his head a la Looney Toons."
"I can still kick your ass Wheels," Puck retorted with a grin. "In Calc and with reps."
"Hey brains before brawn dude," Artie dismissed him elaborately and Puck couldn't help laughing. It seemed like decades ago he'd wanted to lock Artie in a porta john and tip it over. He couldn't imagine doing that to the guy now, Artie was one of his best buds.
Then the band came out which figured, Rachel liked to make statements and if she was going to nail the song she'd want instruments backing her with raw power. Kurt and Blaine appeared in their black jeans and plain white tees and when the opening notes were struck Rachel strutted out and Puck nearly swallowed his tongue. Kurt and Santana had dressed his innocent (on the surface at least) Jewish American Princess in a black leather skirt that was slit on the sides and barely long enough to cover her ass. Black thigh high boots and fishnet garter stockings made her legs look even longer. And then there was the glittery gunmetal grey halter top that came to a point over her belly button and exposed most of her waist and a ton of cleavage. She had bed hair and hugely dark eyes and her mouth was slicked in a deep red that made him want to push his cock right into her mouth. She looked like sex in heels; one of his dirtiest wet dreams come to life.
Puck heard Santana laugh at the look on his face but he heard the note in her voice that told him she found Rachel just as attractive as he did, at least at the moment. He couldn't spare a glance for the Latina though, his gaze riveted to Rachel as she began to sing in the sexiest growl he'd ever heard. Her voice was just short of the moaning wail she made when he gave her an orgasm and Puck took a half second to be grateful for the experience that had taught him to control himself or he would have been a serious mess by the first two lines.
"You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself,"
Kurt and Blaine wailed, 'Help me' in the background, their voices desperate for relief as Rachel kept her mouth so close to the microphone it looked like she would suck on it. Her hips were twitching, gyrating the same way they did when he had his fingers inside her and Puck groaned. And then she started on the chorus and Puck wondered if his jeans could really get any tighter.
"I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god,"
Her arms lifted over her head as she swayed and ground to the few notes after the chorus and Puck just knew he wasn't going to last until the end of the song, it felt like his jeans were getting tighter and tighter and shifting would just make things worse. She was looking straight at him, those gorgeous eyes telling him she remembered exactly how his mouth had felt on her clit, how his tongue and fingers had fucked her, how he'd made her feel.
"You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything
Help me tear down my reason, help me it's your sex I can smell
Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else,"
He really thought he'd lose control after that line about smelling sex because that was a running joke between the two of them, how a room smelled like sex when they were finished and they hadn't even truly made it to home plate yet. And then Mike had nudged him and Artie had poked him and they'd both pointed at Finn.
Puck tore his gaze off Rachel and looked at the quarterback, the boy looked like he was ready to beat the crap out of someone and he was staring right at Rachel with an ugly look on his face as she belted out the chorus and the last staccato verse in a raspy sex growl.
"I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god
Through every forest, above the trees
Within my stomach, scraped off my knees
I drink the honey inside your hive
You are the reason I stay alive."
Puck returned his gaze to Rachel and grinned at the look on her face, she was exhilarated and happy. She knew she'd nailed it and the stunned reaction of her audience and then the applause let her know her fellow club members agreed. All except one. When the applause died down finally Rachel hugged Kurt and Blaine and began to climb down from the stage, a little unsteady in her three inch heels. She was laughing and calling to Santana, "How do you walk in these you crazy woman?"
And then Finn's voice cut across the auditorium like the crack of a whip, "What a fucking slut." And Rachel flinched with her entire body, her normal grace unbalanced by the boots and the shock of Finn's remark, tilting dangerously backwards away from the railing. Puck cursed and tried to climb out of his seat but he knew he'd never make it in time to keep her from falling. Blaine was right behind her though and hooked an arm under her shoulder, hauling her away from the edge of the steps with little grace but to good effect. Rachel sat heavily down on the steps and crossed her arms over her middle defensively looking as if someone had hit her.
Puck finally made it out of his seat and ignored Mr. Schue's shouting, heading for Rachel not his ex-friend. He was peripherally aware of Finn standing up from his seat and walking towards them, Artie and Mike putting themselves between Finn and he and Rachel so he could grab Rachel's hands. "Hey, don't listen to him," Puck cursed, her hands felt like ice. "God angel, you're freezing in that getup." He looked at her legs admiringly, "But hot as hell too." Her weak giggle told him he'd done good so he sat down next to her and put his hand on one leather covered knee with his other arm around her shoulders to watch as Artie and Mike along with Santana start to yell at Finn.
"What the fuck Hudson," Artie was pissed, he almost never cursed in front of Brittany even after they'd broken up. "What was that shit?"
"She looks like a whore and she sounded like one too," Finn snapped. "Look what he's done to her."
Santana nearly snarled and Mike had to hold her arms to keep her from decking the bigger guy, "You sick fuck, she's wearing my clothes and you didn't complain about how I looked when you were fucking me!"
"Knew that skirt looked familiar," Puck commented to Rachel, keeping his voice bland. "Looks good on you, better than San. Don't tell her I said that," He added hastily and was gratified to hear his girl make a small noise of amusement.
He almost missed Finn's response to Santana, "You act like a whore anyway, dressing like one wasn't much of a shock." Then Mike almost lost it because he'd known San as long as Puck had and no one was calling his girl from the five year old sandbox a whore. Blaine and Sam made it just in time to keep Mike from pummeling the bigger guy but not quick enough to keep Santana from slapping the shit out of him and Artie from using his position to drive his fist right into Finn's crotch. The quarterback folded like wet noodles to his knees and Artie added insult to injury by driving his fist right into Finn's left eye.
Artie looked up at Santana, "No one calls my friends whores and goes unscathed."
Santana looked down at the bespectacled geek and just grinned, "I might have to owe you one for that."
"I'll settle for watching you and Brit have lady kisses sometime," He told her with a grin.
"It is so a date," Santana laid a gentle kiss on Artie's lips in thanks and then flounced over to Puck and Rachel. "So girl, you rocked, and I kept an eye on our boy here, he would have lost his shit if he hadn't started keeping an eye on el douche bag over there."
"Thanks Santana," Rachel gave her a lopsided grin, "It was a lot of fun. I'll have everything dry cleaned before I give it back to you. I think the stage lights are twice as hot when you wear leather."
Santana grinned, "So next time you wear lycra instead, I got red skirt you'd rock the house in."
"Next time," Rachel's smile was a little stronger, "Santana…how do you deal with it?"
"What assholes telling me I'm a slut or a ho?" Santana shrugged, "By knowing I do what I want when I want and I don't do anything I don't feel like. It's only the hypocrites that call me names."
"That is certainly apparent," Rachel slanted a dry glance at Finn who was hunched over in a chair, being ignored by everyone else. Mr. Schuester seemed to finally have gotten his face under control because he stood and began to lecture them all on proper behavior.
When he finally turned to Rachel, Puck saw his girl's eyes flash dangerously at the look on Schuester's face, "Rachel I'm a little disappointed in your…execution of this assignment."
"You assign me a song like 'Closer' and when I dress accordingly and don't sing like I'm a frigid virgin you tell me you're disappointed?" Rachel's voice rose dangerously, "What did you think I was going to do? Dress like I was Hasidic and croon? You wanted us out of our comfort zones Mr. Schue."
"Musically not…like…" Schuester gestured towards her.
Rachel stood up, throwing her shoulders back and putting her excellent ass right at Pucks eye level for one heavenly second before he stood next to her, "Like what?" Rachel's voice was dangerously close to a growl. "Say it Mr. Schuester, go ahead. Say what Finn said. Tell me that I look like a whore. Say that I look like a slut."
"He'll do no such thing," Sue Sylvester was standing at the back of the auditorium and came marching down the aisle Brittany hurrying behind her. Puck took a deep relieved breath, Sue didn't like Schuester but she tended to be very fair minded about bullying as long as it wasn't coming from her. He took half a minute to thank God that Brittany had run to get Coach Sylvester. "William I'm appalled at your lack of forethought," She took in the situation and rolled her eyes at Rachel, "A little over the top princess but you're pulling it off pretty well for a so called frigid virgin."
"Sue this isn't your business," Mr. Schuester was not pleased.
"It became my business when Brittany dragged me in here to keep Puckerman and Santana from killing the schools quarterback, though how long Hudson'll last is anyone's guess," Sue snarled back. "You know Berry pretty well by now, she's a drama queen. If you couldn't figure out she would throw herself into Nine Inch Nails like she does everything else then you've lost half your brain somewhere."
"Coach, Mr. Schue's had it in for Rachel ever since we lost Nationals and she and Puck started dating," Santana said flatly. "He's let Finn behave like a total… pendejo to Rachel and Puck and done nothing about it."
"I must be behind on the gossip," Sue's voice was silky as she glanced at Puck and Rachel. Puck could tell from the look on her face that she'd heard all about he and Rachel and didn't much care so long as it didn't interfere with the running of the school. "Congratulations to the two of you, you'll have musically inclined juvenile delinquent babies for your people."
"Are you finished Sue?" Mr. Schuester was losing patience.
"No," Sue shook her head and Puck hid a grin behind his hand. "You, Hudson, Puckerman, Berry, Chang, Lopez and Abrams you all come with me to Figgins office. I've had enough of this garbage."
Puck groaned. In his experience Figgin's office never led to anything good. The only bright side was that Sue meant now and that meant he got to keep an arm around Rachel and help her keep her balance in those boots that made her legs look twice as long.
Rachel shivered and he wrapped his arm around her, "Where's your jacket angel?" He muttered.
"With my clothes backstage," She whispered back. "I was all right under the lights but with the air conditioner I'm freezing."
Puck looked at Kurt who was not being hauled to the principles office, "Can ya go grab Rachel's jacket Kurt? She's gonna freeze to death. She'll look hot as hell doin' it but you know, gotta take care a my girl."
Kurt had just flashed him a grin and moved. They hadn't even made it out of the auditorium when he'd come running back. Puck grabbed it and sent the kid a grin of thanks before draping it over Rachel's shoulders. Rachel's soft groan of relief was his reward even if all the gorgeous skin of her back was covered up.
Author's Note: So we finally got to see Rachel sing Closer and I'm fairly sure Finn's reaction wasn't what anyone was hoping for. He's acting like a complete and total ass. But then that was pretty much how he acted in the show... scary clown hooker... what a moron. But there is good news... next chapter will be something you guys will be happy about I think.
In other news, apologies for how long it took me to post this. I work in accounting and this time of year is insane for me. So real life is kicking my butt because I think I'm getting sick on top of all of it.
Please read and review, let me know what you think and I'll try to do better about timely posting.