Wow guys, what a hectic fortnight it has been! I know I didn't post last week, but I had about four major assessments due for university, and a family emergency on top of that. I've finally gotten all of that out of the way though, and this chapter is hot off the press.

Thank you to Guest and gypsy rosalie for reviewing :) I really do value your feedback

Alex groaned as the sunlight hit her face, alerting her to the beginning of a new day. Pulling the covers over her head she snuggled down further into her bed and closed her eyes. Some people likened new days to new beginnings, new chances to start diets, to live life differently. Alex had never seen the sense in that. In life you don't get a do over the next day, you don't get to leave behind past failures, or other people's opinions of you. As far as she was concerned the new day simply meant that you dragged yourself out of bed and tried to navigate your way through the minefield you left behind the day before.

Perhaps Alex could overcome that problem though, perhaps if she didn't get out of bed she would be able to have a new beginning after all. There would be no more people who didn't understand her; no more having to put on a brave face. Spending a day in bed in silence, doing absolutely nothing is exactly what she needed. No nagging, no negative people to add to her already overflowing basket of negativity. She no longer had the energy to deal with emotions; she didn't even have the energy to get out of bed.

The bed radiated a comforting warmth, the blankets hugging her as she lay there listlessly. She was snug in bed, and she had absolutely no intention of moving any time soon. Thoughts trickled through her brain, but their content went unnoticed; Alex's mind was numb to any further abuse.

Her house no longer felt like it was truly her home; she was a stranger even in the most familiar places. Each day her mind was a battlefield and it was the whole world she was fighting. The world might already have her freedom, but she would not let it take her sanity. That she would cling to with every last breath in her body. Hayley had with good intentions been trying to set Alex up with guys, getting more and more frustrated when Alex had turned every one of them down.

'But they're such a catch!' Hayley had protested one day.

'I don't want a boyfriend, that's not what I need right now,' Alex had tried to explain. 'I don't have room in my life for anything other than getting better.'

'A boyfriend would remind you how beautiful you are,' Hayley had stroked her sister's hair as she said this.

'I need to figure out that I am valuable for myself,' Alex had heaved a defeated sigh. 'I can't drag anyone else down into just how broken I am; every spare moment is spent trying to remember how to function as a normal human being so that I can go about my day.'

'A girl killed herself last year, and people said it was because she'd never had a boyfriend,' Hayley had explained tearfully.

'I don't think it had anything to do with boyfriends,' Alex had sighed, pulling her older sister into a hug. 'Sometimes people are sad for much deeper reasons.'

'Like what?'

'I'm still trying to figure it out.' A small chuckled had escaped Alex's lips at this. It had touched her that Hayley cared so much, but it was all too common for people to see mental illness as a very superficial thing. How can something be superficial when it eats into the heart like an acid, tearing the sufferer apart from the inside until they become a shell? From the outside they look like a normal, functioning human being, but on the inside they are completely hollowed out, with cobwebs adorning their emotions. Mental illness is not something to be taken lightly; it is a heavy burden for people to carry. One that can end up suffocating a sufferer if they don't have enough helping hands.

'Thank you for caring,' Alex had said quietly into her sister's shoulder. 'It really means a lot to me that you're trying to do everything you can help of to help me out.'

'I wish I knew how to help more,' Hayley had sighed.

'The best thing you can do for me is to let me know you're there for me, to listen when I'm ready to talk, and to not make me feel silly even when the problems I discuss seem ridiculously insignificant.' Alex had advised. 'Sometimes it's just a small thing which causes the damn to overflow. We already think we're silly, we don't need to be made to feel worse about ourselves at all.'

'Awww, Alex...'

'Don't.' Alex had said rather sharply. She was sick of the sympathy, she didn't want to be looked at as if she was tragic, she didn't want to be babied. All she wanted is someone to sit with her while she waited for the feeling to pass, for someone to tell her interesting travel stories, or discuss normal things to take her mind off of the stifling emptiness.

'Okay,' Hayley had said quietly.

'Thank you,' Alex was pleased that her sister cared, but certain things, as well meaning as they were just made things worse. People's egos and misconceptions tended to get in the way of genuine concern. In a world full of talking, people tended to overlook the fact that sometimes it was best to say nothing at all.

Some day Alex would be able to tell her family how she felt, she'd be able to find the words, she wouldn't feel invisible anymore. Some day Alex would feel strong enough to take on the world and she'd be able to come out from behind the mask. Maybe someday Alex would feel equipped for all of that, but for now she only felt strong enough to stay in bed and battle with her own psyche. The world would just have to wait.

So thank you all for reading. I would love to hear from you all, if you've got any scenes/ideas of things that you'd like to see leave me a review and let me know. I'm at rather of a loss as to how to continue on with this story, with mental illness there really is no end point, it's simply a day to day thing so I need to figure out where I'm going with the fic and I'd love for you guys to make suggestions. The other option is I take a couple of months sabbatical from this fic and write another one (possibly for another fandom) and come back and look at Alexinthymia again with fresh eyes. Let me hear those suggestions!