Warning: AU –Second World War
M-Rated!Contains coarse language, violent imaginary related to the context of war, and sex.
I do not own South Park. I do not own anything. I wish I was that f* genius!
"Bluaaaaargh!"
Stan painfully released all the rest of his stomach's contents in a great wave of vomit, when the mental image of Kyle and Herr Cartman together filled his mind.
"Gross, dude!" Herr Cartman came just in time to watch Stan puke the colossal wave.
"I'm sorry. We didn't make it in time to the toilet." Kyle apologized in a shaken voice, hoping the fat Nazi would think his blush had to do with Stan sickness. Herr Cartman put a hand in front of his nose, to block away the nauseous smell.
"Shit! You better clean that mess! I'll take him to the kitchen, the tea is ready." The SS said and rested his hand on Stan's shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" The dark haired boy yelled outraged, still horrified with Kyle's confession, knowing that hand had touched his best friend. Herr Cartman slowly took his hand away and gave Kyle a questioning look, who, in his turn, gave a shake of his shoulders, pretending he had no idea what was going on.
"Okaaaay…Will you let the Jew take you to the kitchens instead?" Herr Cartman cautiously asked and Stan nodded, looking as white as a sheet of paper. "Okay then. I'll get Butters to clean up this shit." The fat Nazi said while he rubbed his fat fingers on his forehead. "Kalh, when he feels better, take him to the eastern guestroom, will you? I think he had enough for tonight." Kyle nodded relieved the fat Nazi didn't suspect a thing and practically dragged his friend to the kitchen. He made sure nobody was around and then closed the door behind him.
"Stan, drink this. It will calm your stomach." Kyle said in a low voice, while he handled the tea mug to his friend. Stan accepted it with trembling fingers.
"How is it possible, Kyle?" Stan asked the redhead, still unable to believe what his best friend had told him. "I thought you only liked girls."
"So did I." Kyle said with an uncomfortable smile. "It's hard to explain…I don't feel attracted to other guys. It's just him."
"You mean to say you actually like him? That beast of a Nazi?" Stan asked with incredibility and disgust. "Everybody knows how cruel he is. He even wrote a goddamned gigantic essay about the extermination of Jews!"
"I know, Stan! And it's horrible!" Kyle tried to explain and knew it sounded crazy. Hell, it was crazy! "Don't think I approve it! It's just…I don't know. He's just different around me."
"Kyle, he's exploring you! Don't you see? He's using you!" Stan argued, growing concerned about his friend's present mental sanity. "You're no more than an object in his eyes. I know more Nazis like that."
"So do I. believe me." Kyle said in a dark tone, thinking of Craig. "But Herr Cartman is different."
"Different?! Listen to yourself, Kyle! He's your fucking enemy." Stan pointed out, hoping his friend would find his lost sense back. "He'll bring nothing but hell to you!"
"Hell?" Kyle chuckled bitterly. "Oh, he gave me hell, all right. From the very first moment we met, he did nothing but torture me! It was a daily Hell!" Kyle said with a dark voice. Stan read the same haunted look on his friend's face he saw earlier this evening. A look he thought was frightening, for it was filled with agony, fear and sorrow. "He pushed me beyond my limits, Stan! Crushed me completely. I saw the faces of death because of him. I've faced the despair of losing everything! Hope, Faith, the will to live! You have no idea what I have suffered under his rule in the camp!" Kyle said in a strangled voice, his eyes shining from the awful memories and the pain they carried. "But he saved me! More than once. He even put himself at risk for me when he did it! If it weren't for him, we weren't having this conversation right now! But he didn't save only my life, he save my dad's too! And Ike's. He's been protecting my family since this summer."
Stan stared shocked at his friend for a while. He was disturbed by this piece of information and could only dream what kind of horrors Kyle had seen and lived in the camp. He wondered to what point the horrible experiences had tortured his soul and mind that it made him lose all reason. Because he knew Kyle would be grateful for Herr Cartman saving him and his family, but never to the point of defending such a monster.
"Kyle, I understand you are grateful for him saving you, but you mustn't think you owe him anything. Only because the guy helped you, it doesn't make up for all the shit he did to you in the camp, neither to all the horrors he comes up with to kill Jews. Don't let yourself be blinded." Stan tried to reason Kyle, to make him realize Herr Cartman was an evil, dangerous and unforgiving Nazi.
"No! You don't understand! Because do I hate him! I hate him for all the shit he did to me! And I hate him for his fucking ideologies!" Kyle yelled infuriated, frustrated his friend kept pushing on the matter. Frustrated he was forced to confront his confusing emotions. "I hate him so much! But…But, then, he somehow always makes up. He somehow makes my life feel less messed up. He somehow makes everything all right again!" Kyle regretfully admitted.
Stan stared absolutely shocked. Kyle had clearly lost all grip on reality. He stared at the redhead, who stood in the brink of tears and started to realize the fat Nazi had become important to him. Which was scary and disturbingly insane. Stan could only explain this by thinking Kyle's mind was confused. It was dominated by irrational emotions. It distorted his perspective of reality and deceived his heart with feelings he should never have for Herr Cartman.
"Kyle. I came here so I could buy your ticket to freedom. I came here to save you. If Herr Cartman would allow me to buy you, would you come with me?" Stan whispered the question he knew had become decisive. The question he thought he knew the answer so sure. But now, he wasn't so sure anymore. In truth, he was terrified to listen to it. Because he saw Kyle fight the tears back and knew this was bad. Kyle was a proud person, with a very strong personality. And for him to be in the edge of tears, it meant he was truly suffering.
"I don't know." Kyle said in a sob and tears escaped his eyes. "I'm sorry, Stan. You came too late. I-I don't know if I need to be saved anymore. I don't know if I even want to be saved." Kyle confessed sorrowfully. A horribly heavy silence filled the kitchen as the two friends felt the distance between them grow abysmally. Stan stood in the brink of tears too. He was convinced his friend had gone mad. The Nazi had to have done something to him and now he was confused. Kyle was lost. It had to be that. It was the only explanation he could find. Kyle could be lost, but he would do everything to save him from the horrible Nazi. Stan watched Kyle wipe his tears away and sighed shakily. "Think a night over Kyle. Tomorrow I'll talk to him and I'm doing everything to get you out of here. Because he's clearly hurting you and you don't even realize it." Stan said in a strangled voice.
"He will never agree in selling me. I know him too well." Kyle stated dryly and saw Stan was about to retort, but the redhead didn't give him the chance to talk. He knew Stan wouldn't accept this reality. He couldn't understand him. But then, neither could he. There was one thing Kyle was sure about. There was one thing that was crucial and had to be done. "But promise me, you won't leave Dachau without my family. You need to get them out of here!"
"But, Kyle…" Stan started, but the redhead cut his words again.
"I can take care of myself. Believe me, I am the least of your concerns." Kyle spoke with his characteristic determined look. "Promise me, you'll take my family out of here." There was a short silence. Stan stared into his best friend's eyes. He stared into the deep green with some awe, as he recognized Kyle's characteristic inner-strength, his unbreakable will, his self-assurance. It was all still there. Kyle was perhaps not lost after all. Stan realized there were many things he could not understand right now, but his friend's look told him he had to carry on with his mission, with or without him. So he nodded with the same confidence.
"I promise."
The two friends' conversation was sealed with Stan's promise. None of them knew what to say next. They were immersed in their own troubled thoughts, their own turbulent emotions. Even though, they felt like they spoke in two different languages and could feel the abyss of incomprehension distance them, they remained loyal to each other's opinion. Even if Stan thought Kyle was mad or confused and Kyle thought Stan couldn't understand him, they trusted each other with their lives. They were best friends since kindergarten and nothing could separate them. No races, no wars, no person could destroy their friendship. And so, Kyle guided his exhausted friend to the guestroom and the boys wished each other a goodnight, hoping the morning would bring a brighter day in their hearts. Kyle returned to the corridor and was surprised to find Herr Cartman instead of Butters, wiping the floor with a mop.
"Herr Cartman? I thought Butters was going to do that." Kyle said, clearly surprised. The fat Nazi lifted his head and annoyance was all written over his face.
"That douchebag is in some kind of coma! The butthole wouldn't wake up, as much as I shook and shouted at him." Herr Cartman complained. He read Kyle's worried expression. "It's the effect opium has on him."
"Do you want me to clean the living room, then?" The redhead offered.
"I already cleaned it. You don't want to go there, anyway. Butters may have not woken up, but Bebe and Clyde did. They are probably already making out!" Herr Cartman said upset. "Anyway I'm ready here too. Is our sick guest already sleeping?"
"Yeah. I think the tea did well to him. At least he didn't puke anymore." Kyle said uncomfortably. "You know, you could have waited till I was back."
"Didn't you know mopping floors with vomit is my secret passion?" The fat Nazi playfully retorted.
"Really? And all this time I thought I was that." Kyle said in a fake disappointed pout. Herr Cartman laughed at the Jew's joke. He left the mop and bucket on the side, walked over to Kyle and put his hands around his waist, pulling the redhead close to him.
"Indeed you are." The Nazi said and kissed him on the lips. Kyle smiled at the gesture and kissed back, gently wrapping his arms around the larger boy's back. They kissed a while, tenderly and passionately. After a while the kiss was broken and Kyle rested his head on Herr Cartman's shoulder and released a heavy sigh. "What's the matter, Kalh? You've been so depressive lately." Herr Cartman whispered for the redhead's surprise. He lifted his head to face the Nazi.
"I haven't been…" He defensibly started, but cut his own words at Herr Cartman's arched eyebrow, his characteristic knowing look and sighed. Who was he kidding? It was true, after all. "It's just…I miss my parents and Ike so much. And this Christmas season only reminds me of them."
"Do you feel lonely?" Herr Cartman asked while he brushed a red curl from Kyle's face. The Jew had to smile at the Nazi's gesture. That he was so caring instead of being pissed off with him.
"No. Just nostalgic, I guess." Kyle admitted but felt his heart warm up when Herr Cartman pressed his forehead against his.
Kyle smiled, knowing this was Herr Cartman's side he so much adored. This amazing human being that lived concealed under a beast. This caring person that only very rarely surfaced. The Jew felt privileged to be allowed to witness such a wonder. Felt honored to know he was the cause of this miracle. An intense warm feeling filled his chest as he felt sweet words hang in the tip of his tongue. Words that were dying to be spoken. But he trembled of fear, too vulnerable and scared to admit loudly what his heart spoke.
Herr Cartman sensed the slight tremor and looked at Kyle. He felt the air in his lungs leave when he saw the pureness of the redhead's pale features and the beautiful glint in the forest green eyes. The Nazi wanted to utter new words in this moment. Words that were strange to his tongue. Words that seemed to come from a distant lost world. Unknown words he had the feeling he was familiar with all his life, but only deciphered them when Kyle appeared. Words that made him happy but also scared and insecure. Words he chose to swallow up and hoped were translated by kisses, by touches, by being together. And so he kissed Kyle again, softly, frankly and wonderfully. A moan escaped his lips when Kyle pressed his body against his, returning the kiss with the same affection. They kissed and embraced tenderly until these touches weren't enough and ran to Kyle's small office, to his old matrass, where they consummated these sweet heavenly feelings in heated kisses, passionate touches, delightful moans. They connected their souls in this perfect world of warm sweat until they became one. Became complete.
Kyle laid exhausted on top on the Nazi's body. He knew soon he would fall asleep in Herr Cartman's arms, but would wake up alone in the morning. It was like this every time. Always. He knew it shouldn't bother him, on the contrary. Kyle should be glad the dominating Nazi left him alone once in a while. But as he already had realized for quite some time, this wasn't the reality. Kyle realized, before he fell asleep, he had gained the right feelings for the wrong person but for the right reasons. And smiled, knowing, despite living a horrible war, despite being surrounded by danger and death, despite of sleeping with the enemy, he never felt this happy, safe and complete as he did tonight. Maybe he had gone mad. He sure was mad about Herr Cartman. For his unexpected tender ways, for his unpredictable kindness, for his unforeseen concern about his well-being. He knew what he felt for the cruel Nazi was good, was pure, was authentic. And he knew it was reciprocal. He had seen it so often in the brown eyes and he saw it tonight again.
Kyle closed his eyes and sighed peacefully. He knew what he would answer tomorrow to Stan. He knew his friend wouldn't approve. He knew he would shock and disappoint his family, if they were to discover his secret. But hell, he knew, if he would be departed from Herr Cartman, half of him would die away. He would suffer of continuous agony for being incomplete. And he couldn't imagine a worse hell than that.