I Don't Mean To Presume Chapter 26: 26 If You Could Read My Mind, a glee fanfic

26 If You Could Read My Mind

Rachel looked at Puck and was given a warm nod of encouragement before she raised her hand. Finn was at the front of the choir room sitting near Artie though the other boy didn't seem thrilled that Finn was talking to him. "Mr. Schuester," She spoke when the teacher didn't acknowledge her. "Since you didn't care for my rendition of Send In the Clowns I prepared something else."

"Does anyone else object to Rachel doing a second song?" Schuester was actually looking a little hopeful and Puck fought the urge to hit the teacher in the face. He wasn't sure if it would be worse or better for Rachel's mom to be directing the club but at least she wouldn't be hating on Rachel. Though she had acted a little weird the other day when she'd heard Rachel was dating Puck. When nobody else spoke up the teacher sighed in resignation and beckoned Rachel forward.

Puck grinned as he followed Rachel down the risers, "Gotta play guitar for her." He explained off Artie's confused look. "Song doesn't sound right with piano, so Brad's got a break for his fingers at least."

Rachel smiled and clasped her hands in front of her, "So this song, is… well its about how things change. And how they can't ever be the way they were."

"Rachel if you're about to sing Streisand I have to object," Schuester interrupted.

"It's not," Rachel rolled right over him. "It's Gordon Lightfoot." That got a blink of shock from the teacher and he nodded his permission. "It's called 'If You Could Read My Mind'," She turned and looked at Puck and then stared at Finn. "And this is the last song that I will ever sing with Finn Hudson in mind. One last chance to explain so that maybe…maybe he'll figure out that he has to let this go. This back and forth behavior isn't working for anyone."

Puck chuckled, "Still gonna sound awesome baby." He began to strum the opening to the song, his voice a low hum along with Rachel's.

Her voice was sweet, lower in its registers but still sweet and throaty, trying to explain why she wasn't with Finn anymore, why her love was so changed. Finn wouldn't get it but Puck did. Finn treated Rachel like all the parts of her he didn't like were ghosts.

"If I could read your mind love
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel
The kind the drugstores sell
When you reach the part where the heartache comes
The hero would be me
But heroes often fail
And you won't read that book again
Because the ending's just too hard to take…"

Puck carefully kept his eyes on Finn waiting for the explosion, hoping the kid would finally get it. Rachel didn't want to be his hero, didn't want to be the thing that he clung to that would make him feel better because she couldn't be. She wanted to be a partner, a friend and a love, not a talisman or a thing to hang onto when Finn wanted to feel good about himself and set aside when he was on top of the world. And now it seemed like Finn couldn't decide if he wanted her back or if he just didn't want Puck to have her, but it had nothing to do with loving Rachel and everything to do with Finn being angry with Puck.

"I'd walk away like a movie star
Who gets burned in a three way script
Enter number two
A movie queen to play the scene
Of bringing all the good things out in me
But for now love, let's be real
I never thought you could act this way
And I've got to say that I just don't get it
I don't know where we went wrong
But the feeling's gone
And I just can't get it back…"

That was the part that was a little painful to him, painful to her too, Puck knew Rachel had believed the love she and Finn had was forever. She'd believed in him, that he would be her friend, her partner, the love of her life. She hadn't believed she would have to give up on him, that he would fail her so horribly. But he had, and she did. Puck knew that Rachel loved him, loved him fiercely, maybe stronger than she'd loved Finn, but it still hurt her, that Finn hadn't ever been what she believed he was, hadn't lived up to what he'd said and promised.

The next verse was a little rehash of the first but it was the ending that was the most important. Ultimately Rachel would never have stopped loving Finn if he hadn't begun behaving as if her feelings didn't matter, as if she wasn't as important as he was. Puck knew he'd never know what was in Finn's head but he knew Rachel. Finn's behavior, his selfishness, had left scars on Rachel, deeper than the bruises on her wrist, scars that might not ever fade.

"If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
'Bout a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
But stories always end
And if you read between the lines
You'll know that I'm just trying to understand
The feelings that you lack
I never thought I could feel this way
And I've got to say that I just to get it
I don't know where we went wrong
But the feeling's gone
And I just can't get it back…"

Puck played the last chords as Rachel's voice drifted away sadly, keeping his eyes on Finn. Dave and AZ were sitting behind their soon to be replaced quarterback and they were keeping an eye on the tall boy as well.

"How you can sing like that and be so heartless is what I don't get," Finn's voice was both sneering and sad. "How you can call me love one minute and the next be with him."

Ah, Puck relaxed minutely, it wasn't going to be an explosion, just a pity party. He hung the guitar on the wall and stood behind Rachel, putting his hands on her shoulders and felt some of the tension leave her body. "I'm with him because I love him," Rachel spoke clearly and quietly. She wasn't trying to be dramatic, wasn't making a scene. It could have been a conversation between two people in the hall except Finn had chosen to start it in front of the entire glee club. "I'm with him because he's been my best friend for more than a year."

"He's just using you," Finn told her confidently. "It's not going to last another two months. He's gotten what he wanted and when he gets bored he'll dump you."

Puck took a deep breath and let it out slowly the way LeRoy had suggested over the summer, "So you're sayin' I'm not capable of lovin' Rachel. Not the way you could right?" He shook his head, "If that means I won't take her for granted and dump her the minute she does something I don't like that's fine with me."

"I think that's enough—" Mr. Schuester tried to interrupt.

Puck rolled right over him, "Yeah you're right." He looked away from Finn at the teacher who during his sophomore year had been the only person besides Rachel' who'd had time for him at school. But the minute he'd done something Schuester didn't like the man had cut him loose. "Why waste my breath. Because Finn's your golden boy, regardless of the shit he's pulled. He's got more charges against him thanks to his latest stunt but you don't care 'bout how beat up I got, or the bruises on Rachel." Puck shook his head, "I woulda given anything for you to believe in me the way you do him Schue. But I don't mean anything to you."

"That's not true—"

Rachel cut Schuester off this time, "Yes it is." She spoke firmly but her voice was overloud or emotional. "You never wrote or supported Noah when he was in Juvie. You wouldn't have even told us if I hadn't asked you to let the club know so we could support him. Once he was back you were helpful but when he was gone it was out of sight out of mind all that time and the whole summer beforehand."

"How did you know?" Finn wanted to know, "If you weren't two timing me with him back then how did you even know he was in Juvie?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, "I'm Jewish. His sister is in my class at the JCC. Beks told me. Once I verified it with his mother I began to write to him."

"But why?" Mr. Schuester shook his head, "I can see Finn's point Rachel, that's suspicious behavior."

"No, suspicious behavior is pretending to be pregnant," Rachel snapped back. "It's lying about the father of a child. It's concealing and lying about your sexual history. That's all wrong and suspicious behavior." She shook her head and Puck couldn't help wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, she was awesome when she got riled up.

"Babe, give 'im a break, Finn don't have your brains after all," Puck chuckled.

"Nobody asked you Puck," Finn sneered.

"Fine," Rachel rolled her eyes. "The reason I wrote to Noah and made sure he had books and notes and everything he needed to keep up with school. The reason I talked to Coach about his spot on the team? And why I talked to him on the phone with his mom and sister? All that 'suspicious behavior'? It was because Noah always protected me."

"Uh, baby I was slushying you until we dated sophomore year," Puck reminded her with a wince. "That ain't nice."

"Well no, it wasn't," Rachel conceded. "But you didn't egg my house and Finn did. And you didn't write nasty things on the bathroom stalls or my locker and I know Quinn did that. And Puck never called my dads fags or me a kike." She stared down the roomful of people who at one time or another had all verbally abused her. "And he apologized for slushying me," Rachel spoke emphatically. "Even before that, when he was tossing slushies on me, he didn't let anyone hit me, or hurt me, or shove me around."

Puck shifted uncomfortably, he had gone out of his way to make sure that Rachel wasn't ever physically bullied by any of the guys. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for him, he hated people who beat on someone smaller than them just because they could. Half the idiocy the team had done to kids, tossing them in dumpsters, he'd come up with so nobody would get beat up. He'd said it was so that no one got suspended or something but he just hadn't wanted to hit Kurt. He hadn't wanted Artie to take a fist to the face or see the kid more broken than he was. The portajohn idea wasn't his best idea but it was better than taking the kid to the top of the bleachers and rolling him down the steps which was what someone else had come up with. "Rache that really—"

Now he was the one being cut off, "I know why you did it Noah." She looked up at him over her shoulder, "Your motives don't make it any less true." She looked at the club. "He's always protected me, tried to protect anyone smaller or weaker than he was. And nobody noticed how much he was hurting over Beth. Everybody was so supportive of Quinn and how she felt. None of you paid any attention to how much Noah was hurting that summer. He was drunk more than half the time." She stared at Finn, "You kept saying that he was your best friend that summer but you hardly talked to him unless you were playing video games."

"But you talked to him," Finn shook his head. "I told you I didn't want you talking to him but you did anyway."

"Setting aside your belief that you have the right to tell me who to talk to," Rachel's voice hardened and Puck smiled slightly into her hair. "I've staunchly maintained since we dated that Noah and I are friends. You've never told me I couldn't talk to Artie, or Mike or Sam. Only Noah."

"Because Puck's the one who cheated on me with Quinn," Finn snapped back. "He's a two timing Lima Loser."

"Uh, dude, you were dating Quinn. She cheated on you with Puck," Artie corrected the bigger boy. "She's also the one who lied about it for months." He leaned back in his chair and shook his head, "Only thing Puck did was sleep with her and try to do what she wanted afterwards."

"This is getting us nowhere," Mr. Schuester tried to interject. "I think we all need to calm down—"

"Yeah," Puck nodded. "We got court tomorrow. Not gettin' into it with him now." He shook his head, "Bottom line man, Rachel's with me for as long as she chooses. Nobody meant for this to happen." He shrugged and moved to get his bag and Rachel's, "Long as you made her happy I woulda stayed away. It's always been her choice Finn. I'm just glad she finally chose me."

"You told me you'd been in love with her since sophomore year," Finn remembered suddenly. "What've you been doing? Just lyin' in wait?"

Puck shrugged uncomfortably aware of all the eyes on him, "Didn't lie to ya." He said finally, "But I never made a move on her. She was in love with you. Didn't want her unhappy." He slung his bag over his shoulder before he continued talking using the time to gather his thoughts, "If you hadn't fucked it all up so royally she might still be with you. I just want her happy man. Won't ever stop wantin' that."

"And when she's in New York and you're stuck here?" Finn jeered, "When she's tryin' to be a big star and you're in Lima? What're you gonna do then?"

Puck shook his head and looked at Rachel who rolled her eyes in Finn's direction and sighed her irritation. "Don't guess that's any of your business," Puck shrugged. "Guess we'll all find out what's gonna happen at the end a the year."

Author's Note: Okay so this was Rachel's last ditch effort and honestly...I really only wanted her to do this for Puck's sake. She's not stupid, she knows he still feels guilty about the way Finn is, like its his fault somehow. But then the boy hasn't had the most mentally healthy life in the world so its not surprising that he feels responsible for things that he can't do anything about, like Finn's idiocy.

Next chapter will be the actual court hearing and you wouldn't believe how long it took me to research and figure out how things are supposed to go and even then some creative license was taken. All mentions of court dates and lawyers have been leading up to this next chapter. Won't that be fun right?

So I hope you guys enjoyed this and you'll let me know if you have any questions.