Happy Easter everyone! Thank you laissankari, gypsy rosalie, Someone, and KjWolfsound for the reviews :) Let's see what Alex has been up to now.

Chapter 23

'Hi,' Alex looked up from her book at the uttered syllable and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. A tall form was standing in front of her and she squinted in the sunlight, trying to ascertain the features.

'uh, hi,' she stuttered as the black haired boy sat next to her. 'You're not playing basketball today?'

'Nope, I hurt my ankle yesterday,' Cristian lifted his leg to show a bandaged ankle.

'Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,' Alex felt that it was perhaps the correct response.

'It's fine, it'll only be a day or two until I'm back on the court.' The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, subconsciously looking at the aforementioned court and the boys playing basketball.

'Oh, I almost forgot, I came over to give you back your book,' Cristian started and rummaged through his bag. 'You ran off yesterday before I could tell you that I still had it.'

'Yeah sorry, I needed to go to the toilet,' Alex kicked herself; that was a weird thing to say. 'I mean, I wasn't feeling well.' She fell silent, stopping herself before she did any more damage. He already thought she had diarrhoea or something, but she had confidence in her blundering ability to make things much worse; so silence was the better solution.

'Well, anyway, I found you,' Cristian gave a nervous laugh and put the book on her bag. There was another lengthy silent during which Alex cursed her awkwardness and Cristian picked at the stems of grass. 'Did you have a good weekend?'

'Yes,' Alex jumped a little too enthusiastically at the question. 'I mean, yes.' She cleared her throat. 'I just relaxed mainly, but it was good, I needed the rest.' She hazarded a look over at Cristian. 'How was your weekend?'

'I had pancakes, and cleaned out the garage with my dad.' Cristian began listing off the activities on his fingers. 'Then I went to the movies with a friend, and did swimming and I had to go shopping with my mum to get a new sports uniform.'

'Sounds...busy,' Alex settled on the word. Another silence followed in which she could feel Cristian regretting the decision to come and talk to her. Dejectedly she decided to save him the trouble of politeness. 'I've got to go to the library and finish researching a paper, thanks for returning my book.' Without so much as a glance back, Alex got up and hurried away, leaving Cristian sitting under the tree.

Why would you ever believe he would want to talk to you. He's one of the popular kids, and you're just... you're just... forgettable, invisible, a blip that doesn't even show up on the radar. Most of the people in your classes don't even know your name. With a sigh Alex hugged her book closer to her chest. In her mind she was one of those people that drifted around campus, not really making a mark on anyone's life. She had even stopped participating in class; it was not as if anyone missed her contributions anyway.

A huge sigh rippled through her body and she dropped her head to look at her feet while she walked. What was it about being around Cristian that made her feel inadequate? The worst part was that she didn't even like him, so he shouldn't have held so much power over her self esteem. Maybe all boys were dangerous at this point. Maybe the society which told her she needed to change everything about herself so that boys would like her was to blame for her feelings of inadequacy. Maybe she needed to stop caring so much.

She raised her head as she walked past the gothic group, watching them lolling half heartedly over benches. Maybe she should clad herself in black to mirror how she felt inside. Were they feeling the same as she did, is that why they spoke like Eyore? Was she not alone in feeling as though her world had fallen and she was lying smothered in the wreckage waiting for the air to run out?

Alex paused in the middle of the path; poised to walk over to the gothic kids and ask them...ask them what? "Hi, are you depressed too?" A chuckled escaped her pursed lips and she willed her feet to keep on walking. Just taking one step after the other; keeping the momentum. That was all she could do.

How long until this nightmare is over? Will I ever be normal? Will I ever be free? Hundreds of questions assaulted Alex's tongue, needing to be asked, but she had no one to ask them of. With no one to understand how she was feeling she was effectively mute.

That's the thing about writing, it's hard to put characters through so much pain when they feel like real people to you. Please leave reviews to tell me what you thought.