Alexis stood at the podium and addressed her fellow citizens. As the attorney for the defense started her closing argument, she squinted to keep the spotlight's glare out of her face. Alexis couldn't believe she lost the motion to have the press banned from the courtroom, and Scotty smirked at her when she put her hand up so she could better see the jury. Her daughter's twelve peers looked back at her with faces ranging from pity to outright scorn. She was a bit shocked that she recognized them, and her mouth went dry as she started to put faces to names: Luis Alcazar, Ric Lansing, Kiefer Bauer, Katherine Bell, Luke Spencer…and Stefan? Alexis's head started to throb and she raised her hand to her temple to both soften the pain and try and find logic for the dozen assembled in front of her. Why didn't she use any peremptory challenges during voir dire? How could she allow this group on the jury? As she stood in silence, she felt her client tugging her arm. "Mom, mom?"

When Sam finally roused Alexis, her mother opened her eyes shocked, sitting up quickly before immediately regretting the movement. "Where am I?"

-"You're in the penthouse, Mom."

Alexis briefly looked around the room before squeezing her eyes shut. "Are you sure I'm not on the sun? Can you close those blinds, sweetie?"

-"This is not surprising," Sam deadpanned.

-"What?"

-"The hangover. That's why I brought you this." Sam proffered the glass in her hand.

-"What is it?" Alexis opened one eye to glance suspiciously at the glass.

-"Tabasco."

Alexis felt her stomach's content rise in her throat. She kicked off the covers and flew by a surprised Sam to the bathroom where she loudly divested herself of the previous evening's martinis. And appetizers.

Sam stood in the doorframe sheepishly. "Sorry. I was kidding. It's actually water."

Alexis ignored her daughter and continued to retch. After emptying the contents of her stomach, she sat back. She rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes. "That's OK, sweetie. In the long run you've probably done me a favor."

-"So. What were you planning to do today?"

-"I'm still going to do it. I just need another hour or so of sleep. What time is it?"

-"It's 10."

-"Ugh. Why did I sleep so long?"

-"Do you want me to answer that or just wait until it comes to you?" Sam snarked at her mother.

-"Ha ha." Her response matched her daughter's tone.

-"Come on. Let's get you back in bed."

Sam returned to the main floor to find her father plating the greasy breakfast he'd brought over from Kelly's. "Yeah, Dad. She's not going to be eating that any time soon."

-"You sure?"

-"Yup. Her stomach may have won the battle last night, but it lost the war this morning."

-"Ahh." Julian looked at the plate in front of him, willfully ignoring the mental picture Sam's description painted. "Shame to let it go to waste. You want some?"

-"Sure." Sam retrieved two forks from the kitchen and she and Julian proceeded to pick over her mother's breakfast.

-"So," Sam looked coyly at her father. "This was a pretty considerate gesture. Something you'd expect more from a boyfriend than an ex."

Julian looked blankly at his daughter. "Yup."

Sam smiled. "Are you two back together?"

-"I think those are questions for your mother Sam."

-"Why? Because you're respecting her privacy or because you don't know the answer."

Julian's smirk was his sole response.

Sam pressed with a wide-eyed innocence she only exhibited for her most gullible marks. "I mean, I'm just a daughter concerned for her father. I want to make sure the woman he loves—you do love her right?—isn't wasting his time by not returning his affections."

-"Ha!" Julian laughed. "Now you're pulling the daughter card, huh?"

-"Yes, Daddy," Sam batted her eyelashes at her father.

-"It would be way easier if you just asked for a pony."

Sam started laughing. "C'mon. Mom's not that hard to read."

-"Things between your mother and I are…complicated."

-"Really, Julian? Wow. Never would have guessed that. I mean, she only came home wasted last night and has spent the better part of the morning worshipping at the altar of the porcelain gods."

-"She's under a lot of stress. It's natural for her to blow off a little steam. She's concerned about you."

-"Julian. Let me tell you a little something about my mother. She doesn't get drunk…well, OK. There was that time at karaoke where she was doing shots. But generally she's tipsy. That? Upstairs? That is not my mother."

-"You have to admit, Sam, between her house, your trial…she's probably a little stressed."

-"Yeah. OK. So the last time my mother defended me against a murder charge—"

-"—music to every father's ears," he interrupted.

She stared at him. "You really want to compare jackets right now?"

-"No, sorry. Go on. You were talking about the last time you were accused of murder."

-"Right. So my mother had cancer, was defending me, was engaged in a vicious custody battle with her ex—who was also prosecuting me by the way—and she didn't drink."

-"Not at all?"

-"No. OK, so she did get high, but that was more a chemo thing. The point is: my mother loves to be in control. She needs it. She doesn't give it up easily if at all. Unless…" Sam trailed off.

-"Unless what."

-"Unless she doesn't know what the hell she's doing and she's too afraid to make a move. Now, I'm pretty clear on the 'knowns': she needs to defend me. She seems to be—well not 'OK' with the Molly situation—understanding of it. We've figured out a way to make the living situation work and her strategy for me is decided. The only unknown right now is her love life." Sam's eyes bored into Julian.

-"So this is my fault."

-"Yup." Sam waited him to say something, but did not get a response. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself."

-"I'm clear on what I want. Your mom obviously needs to figure it out."

-"Ugh. Why are men so frustrating? No wonder you make her nuts. Fine, you won't tell me what's up with her, than tell me what's up with you. What is it you want?"

-"I love your mother so obviously I want her."

Sam's face spread into a satisfied smile. "I knew it."

Alexis woke up at 1 and showered. By the time she considered herself presentable it was 2 pm. She went to the computer to try and salvage something of the day. Clearly she was not in peak mental condition, so a conversation with Ava was out. Plus, a visit to Ava meant a chance to run into Ava's brother/roommate, and Alexis wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it. That left Rosalie, but Alexis didn't know where she was. Normally, she'd put Sam on the search, but she wanted the suspect as far removed from potential witnesses as possible, so she called her second-string investigator to get contact information for Rosalie.

Once the call was placed, it was only 2:15. Even if she got the info it would be too late to arrange an interview. The lack of productivity made her feel guilty, and she looked around the room for something to do. Her eyes focused on her closet: it needed filling. Alexis then laughed at the realization that it also wasn't her closet. If she was too groggy to face Ava she was definitely too groggy to start looking for real estate. It looked like Wyndhams was going to win out.

Her stomach growled as she descended the stairs and she went straight to the kitchen to make some toast. She had put the bread in the toaster when the sound behind her made her jump.

She turned to find Julian behind her. "What are you doing here?" Her question was sharper than she intended: the shock left her no time to soften her annoyance at his presence.

-"You missed me as you flew by the couch. Sam needed to run out, so she asked me if I could stay in case Danny needed anything."

-"What do you mean 'stay'?"

-"I've been here all morning."

-"I see." The toaster provided her with a welcome exit from the conversation. She didn't really want to know why he'd been there all morning. OK, she did but she didn't want to actually have to talk about it. She ignored him as she buttered her toast and put the kettle on for tea.

-"So you're not going to talk to me?"

-"Sorry. I was just making something to eat. I'm a little hungry."

-"I'm sure you are." His smile told her that Sam had spilled the events of the morning.

This time she meant for him to hear that she was exasperated. "What to you want, Julian?"

-"I want a lot of things, Alexis."

She dismissed him. "I mean in the kitchen. Why are you standing in the kitchen?"

-"I want to make sure you're OK." He asked softly, "Are you?"

-"I'm fine now. Yes."

-"Fine, huh?"

-"Yup." Alexis took a bite of her toast. She hoped the chewing would drive him away from the door so she could escape the confines of what was becoming a very claustrophobic kitchen.

-"OK." He took a deep sigh and repeated the OK to settle himself. "Look. Alexis. It's clear that whatever happened the other night was an aberration. But I need some help here." Julian closed the space between them. "Help me out. I want to give you what you need, but you have to tell me what it is."

Alexis's body was so rigid with tension she didn't even feel Sam's granite countertops dig into her lower back. Her eyes looked at the toast in her hands. "I don't know."

-"Is it that I'm here? Do you want me gone? You need to give me some direction here, Alexis. 'I don't know' doesn't fix this."

-"Maybe that's my problem. I don't know if I want to fix this."

Julian stopped in his tracks. "What does that mean?"

-"I don't know, Julian. I haven't had time to think about it. I've been too busy cleaning up the messes you've left everywhere to think about 'us.'"

-"Alexis, I don't need you to clean up my messes."

-"Really, Julian? I shouldn't do anything. Is that it?"

-"I can fix this," he asserted passionately.

She looked at him, her nostrils flaring. "Do you see these clothes, Julian?"

-"Yes."

-"Well, after I finish my toast, I'm going to buy more of them. Because I don't have any. I don't have clothes. I don't have a house."

-"Alexis—"

Her voice rose as she felt every burden she'd kept inside escape from her lungs. "But I don't need a house, Julian. I only need an apartment. One bedroom. Because my daughter won't live with me because I allow you to stay around. The man who killed her father."

Julian looked at her. On the one hand, he was relieved. She was getting out all the things he feared she felt. He knew they were there, just under the surface waiting for the chance to break through. On the other hand, he was unsure of his ultimate place. Julian understood his role was to take it, but until he knew how the monologue was ending, he didn't know how to rebuild. Unsure if she was finished, he tentatively reached out to her shoulder.

-"Don't touch me, Julian."

At least he had his answer. "Sweetheart."

-"What? Sweetheart what? Ric's dead. Luke's suffering. I can't even free him, Julian. He's my friend. Do you know that? Do you know how he saved me? And now Ned…"

Julian's head snapped to attention. "What about Ned?"

-"Your boss wants ELQ, Julian. Did you think Ned would let him have it?"

-"Ned isn't running ELQ."

-"So what? That means he doesn't care. Do you know your boss pulled a gun on him, Julian? Do you know he almost killed him? And he tells me this. And I have to pretend I don't know anything…"

If Alexis's rambling, angry monologue wasn't enough of an indicator of her frustration, the plate and toast she hurled across the room and smashed against the wall certainly punctuated her feelings. Julian turned to say something when Danny's cries could be heard through the baby monitor.

-"I'll get him," Julian whispered as he left the kitchen.

Alexis looked at what used to be the plate on the floor, shards everywhere. She sank to her knees and crawled to pick up the pieces as her tears cascaded down her cheeks. The next thing she heard was the TV on and a kid's show blaring. Julian re-entered the kitchen and sank to the floor to help her clean up. He said nothing as he took a sponge to wipe off the greasy stain on the wall from where the toast landed butter-side up.

The silence was broken by her whisper, "I don't know."

He sat up and looked at her, as he lightly grabbed her foot—hoping the connection would give her the energy to finish her thought.

Alexis kept her head down as her tears hit the floor. "The only peace I have is when I'm with you. When I'm in your arms." He reached up to her and she stopped his hand. "But the reason I need peace is all the chaos you've brought, Julian. I know you want me to sort us out—" She lifted her head to look at him. "—but how can I do that when there are literally life and death decisions on the line? Sam's freedom, Luke's life…maybe even Ned's life. What to do about Ric. They need my full attention."

Julian grabbed her hand. "I know this is my fault."

-"Well, you have to let me work through it. When I can, Julian. But I can't now and you need to stop trying to make me."

-"I'm not trying to make you do anything. I'm here because I love Sam. And I love you. I wasn't kidding about the other night, Alexis. I love you."

-"Well I love a mobster who has destroyed the lives of those I love and you love a woman who can't decide in 48 hours how she feels about that." Alexis lifted her head and looked at him. "I think you're getting the better end of the deal."

Julian helped her clean the kitchen and she turned to him, resting her hands on his chest. She stared at his collarbone as she asked, "I'm meeting Diane for some shopping. Can you watch Danny?"

He responded by kissing her forehead. She pulled away, grabbed her purse and walked out the door.