Chapter Eleven: The Mess I Made
"I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn you take your heart and walk away…
For every second chance, that's changed its mind on me…
And it's falling down, as you walk away
And it's on me now, as you go…"
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I don't know how far I ran. All I knew was I had to get some distance between me and…him.
Once I had jumped out of the cave behind the waterfall, I shifted in midair and hit the ground running as fast as my paws could take me.
When the sun began rising, I slowed my pace. I was panting heavily, my breath changing into big white puffs in the cold air. Pricking my ears, I heard nothing. I was still surrounded by woods but there were no sounds around me… No birds, no small animals, not even a breeze… Feeling uneasy, I kept walking forward, grateful the sky was turning a soft gray-blue.
Shifting back with a wince, I glanced down at myself. I was still wearing the red dress and boots, which were both streaked with mud and grass stains. I sighed. It had taken me a while to learn how to shift back with clothes still on but I hadn't mastered it completely. Thinking back, I had been to focused on learning how to shift painlessly, when Charlie was teaching me… I shook my head, clearing away that thought.
Looking around, I sniffed the air for any signs of life. I smelled the cool air, the pine trees…but there was a faint scent of smoke in the distance.
Campfire? I wondered. Heading towards the scent, I looked over my shoulder briefly. There was nothing but trees and silence.
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Silence.
No laughter, no whispers, no footsteps.
I sat in my quiet house and listened to the silence. A tall glass of bourbon sat on the table next to me, half empty. A blood bag was beside it, completely drained.
"Are you going to hurt me Niklaus?" I flinched as Annabelle's quiet voice echoed through my mind.
"Klaus! Please stop! For me. Stop killing for me."
"I was afraid of you…"
"Don't touch me."
"Stay away from me!"
"Just stay away!"
I groaned, slumping forward, running both hands through my hair.
"Klaus."
"Klaus!"
"KLAUS!"
It felt like whatever sanity I had left was slowly slipping away.
"Are you going to hurt me Niklaus?"
"NO!" I exploded, standing up, overturning the chair. I picked up the glass of bourbon and threw it across the room, relishing in the sound of shattering glass.
On a sob, I picked up and threw the table across the room, watching it as it cracked and splintered against the wall. Panting, I stared at the mess.
Flashing outside, I flew into the woods, shifting. Without thinking, I ended up by the part of the river where it all began. I sniffed the ground but there was no trace of Annabelle's scent.
Sitting back, I unleashed a long howl, one full of suffering and heartache, pain and regret. I sang out my misery that was burning inside me to the pale morning sky.
Ooo0ooO
When I saw the small camp site, I sighed a little with relief. Approaching it cautiously, I sniffed the air again.
"Hello?" I called out tentatively.
"Well, hello there," said a smooth, deep voice behind me. Whirling, I saw a tall, black haired man standing behind me. His black eyes stared intently at me. I gazed at him warily, taking in his massive built and stance. He radiated power and arrogance, making my inner wolf snarl in suspicion.
"What's a little thing like you doing out here in the woods?" he asked in that rumbling voice. I half smirked.
"Just out…exploring," I fibbed. Tall Guy raised a brow at me.
"In that?" he asked, gesturing towards my dirty dress. This time I did smirk.
"Why not?" I challenged. Tall Guy looked at me coolly.
"I'm Mark," he said, stepping forward to shake my hand. Suddenly wary again, I stepped back with a smile.
"Nice to meet you. I'm… Belle," I said easily.
"Belle? Like Beauty and the Beast?" Mark repeated with amusement, dropping his hand.
"Something like that," I lied, giving him a fake grin.
"What are you doing in West Virginia, Belle?"
I'm in West Virginia? I wondered quietly. I shrugged at Mark. "Needed some new scenery, you know?"
Mark rocked back on his heels, crossing his thick arms over his even thicker chest. "Mmm. Well just make sure to head back to wherever you're staying by nightfall. There's a lot of…big animals in the woods."
"Bears?" I chirped. Mark's eyes glinted with humor.
"Wolves," he corrected. Raising a brow, I smiled at him.
"I've never been afraid of wolves," I told him. Mark snorted.
"Lady, I don't think a little thing like you could take one on," he said, his tone full of male arrogance. I pursed my lips.
"Hmm," I hummed. "Okay, if you say so."
Suddenly, a howl erupted from the woods, echoing loudly all around us. Mark looked over his shoulder and back at me, eyes dark.
"You should go," he told me. I rolled my weight onto my right leg, coking my hip. I saw right through him, knowing that that howl wasn't from any normal wolf. I stepped forward and offered my hand.
"Well, it was nice meeting you, Mark," I said. Mark took my hand and his nostrils flared, taking in my scent. I sniffed at him, only smelling the pungent odor of male body odor hidden underneath a layer of Axe body spray. I noticed a strange tattoo on the side of his neck, which looked like claw marks branded into his skin. Resisting the urge to wrinkle my nose, I smiled. Mark was staring at me again and I tugged my hand away.
"I hope to see you again… Belle," he answered. I stiffened at his slight emphasis in my fake name, getting a strange feeling in my gut. Turning quickly, I walked rapidly away from Mark in the direction I came.
With my back to him, I didn't see him take out his cell phone and send out a single text message.
I found her.
Ooo0ooO
I laid down besides the river, still in my wolf form, resting my head in between my forepaws.
Pain thudded through me, reminding me vaguely of what it felt like to have a heartbeat. It was a constant, pulsing feeling against my heart, my body.
Hours passed as I lay there quietly, letting the pain become a part of me. My thoughts were surprisingly quiet. I stared at nothing, not seeing the river or the trees beyond the water in front of me.
All I saw was Annabelle.
Annabelle laughing.
Annabelle sitting in a tree, watching Japanese lanterns fly through the sky.
Annabelle sleeping, murmuring my name.
Annabelle.
Annabelle.
Whimpering, hating myself for feeling so weak, I sat up with my head hanging down. Letting the agony rise inside me like a wave, I rode it out. Raising my head to the nearly full moon, I howled again.
I called out for her.
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Something was calling me back to Mystic Falls. Something deep within myself screamed at me to run as fast as I could back there, before it was too late.
Too late for what was what I wanted to know.
Flying through the woods, back in my wolf form, I raced back, following my old scent trail.
Then I heard the howling.
I stumbled slightly at the sheer agony that sounded in the lonely call. It pressed against my heart, squeezing it, enveloping it.
The howling ended and I ran quickly towards where I thought I heard it coming from. I flashed by the falls without a second thought, bounding up the hill and slamming to a halt.
Klaus was sitting ten yards away from me, as a big gray wolf, his eyes staring blankly down at the dirt. I felt the waves of sadness and pain emitting from him. I winced as best as I could while staying in my wolf form. I approached him quietly.
When I sat next to him, I gave him a soft nudge with my nose on his shoulder. He shuddered at my touch and looked up, his gold eyes flat and miserable.
Klaus, my mind whispered in concern. His ears twitched.
Annabelle. His voice, thick and cracked, filled my head. I blinked at him, shock filling my body. I bristled slightly at the unfamiliar sensation of his mind touching mine.
Annabelle, his thoughts whispered again. Then suddenly it all warped into blackness, and then- pain. So much pain. Hot, burning pain. I yelped, jumping away from Klaus, staring at him in bewilderment. I stared as his shoulders hunched and shuddered again and he let out a sharp breath, a half sob.
ANNABELLE! I nearly leaped in the air at the scream in my head. I shifted back so I wouldn't have to hear anymore. I kneeled in front of Klaus.
"Klaus?" I whispered. I heard him whine at my voice and tremble.
"Klaus," I murmured. "I'm here." It was like he didn't hear me. Soft whines and whimpers escaped him as he flinched slightly as if he was receiving blows to the head.
"Niklaus!" I yelled. His head shot up and his wolf eyes looked directly into mine.
"Niklaus… Come back to me," I said gently. I reached over and placed a hand against his furry cheek. Slowly, he leaned into my touch, shifting back into himself.
"I'm here, I'm here," I assured him. His eyes remained gold, staring into mine. His lips parted.
"Annabelle," he said on an exhale.
"You seem to like repeating my name a lot," I whispered to him, teasing softly. His eyes faded, cooled off, turning slowly back into the dark blue I was familiar with.
"You're here." I sighed with relief.
"Yes, I'm here." Suddenly he yanked me into his arms, burying his face into the curve of my neck, inhaling deeply. His arms were tight against my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck, stroking his head soothingly.
"It's okay. You're okay," I said gently. I felt tears hit my shoulder as he began to quietly cry. I held him tighter, wishing I could comfort him more.
"You're okay, Niklaus. It's okay," I repeated over and over again.
I don't know how long we held each other. He cried and cried, not making a sound, I just felt his spilling tears and heaving shoulders. I stroked his hair and murmured reassurances into his ear.
When he finally pulled away, his eyes were clear, even though his cheeks were streaked with tears. I reached up and wiped them away with my thumbs and he exhaled a shaky breath.
"I think it's time to tell me the truth, Niklaus. Everything," I said, looking into his eyes. He nodded and we sat down along the water. He reached for my hand but hesitated before setting it back on the ground.
Like many times before, he started talking. He told me about how he had found out about the Hybrids and how Hailey and Tyler were involved, what part Caroline and Stefan played. He told me about what he had said to Stefan.
"I told him that loneliness was the reason why we remembered those we killed. That is our last shred of humanity. For the past couple of centuries, I have been alone. I had my family briefly, but even they turned on me in their own way. It seems everyone who gets to know me ends up siding against me eventually. This loneliness, Annabelle, leaves holes inside me. Holes that quickly fill with doubts, rage, pain… Sometimes I feel like it consumes me, that I will never be able to escape it. I will always be alone… Alone with this anger, this hunger for revenge against those who wrong me…" He trailed off. I finally reached over and squeezed his hand.
"You were like a different person," I told him. "A shell. You weren't the Klaus who took in a starving werewolf from the woods and gave her a home. You weren't the Klaus who sat beside me to watch lanterns go by. You weren't the man who held me during the night or the man who I woke up next to in my dreams…" I sighed. "But I don't know if I can trust you right now. I can't just be that girl who can kiss and forget. I have never been that girl. And right now, all I know is that you are aching inside. You know what you did was wrong… But you still continue to do it. I just… Don't know what to think of that yet."
"I understand."
I turned to face him, taking his face in my hand so he would look at me. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to leave. I'm not going to run away. Not anymore. It hurts me too. This hurts me just as much as it hurts you."
"There… There's a reason why," he said, looking into my eyes. "Remember when I returned from Italy and you asked if anything else had happened, apart from me retrieving the sword?" I nodded.
"In Italy, I met up with an old friend of mine. His name is Antonio and he's a werewolf, one of the oldest in Italy. He's over a hundred years old. I asked him about the…dreams. About you. I wanted to know if this meant anything, if there was any tale about it passed along the wolves throughout the years. Since I'm technically a new wolf, I had yet to learn my werewolf history. Antonio told me this one story. It was about the first werewolves. It was said they were predestined a mate, and until they found that one person, they would dream about them. When they found their mate, they would complete what Antonio called the "soul bond". After that, they were mated for life, bound together by their souls."
I blinked at him. "What are you saying, Klaus?"
"When I became a Hybrid, my wolf side was awakened by Elena Gilbert's doppelganger blood. Once she became a vampire, her blood within me strengthened and according to Antonio, awakened the soul bond. That was when they started." His eyes focused on me. "That's when I started dreaming of you."
Suddenly, everything clicked. The dreams, the thought connection between us when we were wolves… His pain literally being my pain and vice versa.
"Are you saying… we are mates? Wolf mates?" Klaus nodded.
Annabelle, average werewolf, is destined to be mated to Klaus, an Original Hybrid, one of the strongest creatures in the world, I thought. I felt a rush of excitement, apprehension and unease fill my body.
"Klaus?" I whispered.
"Yes, Annabelle?"
"How do you feel about me? And don't give me some bullshit answer or something that you think I would want to hear. I need the truth. Please," I asked simply, eyes boring into his.
Klaus started at me before smiling gently. His hand reached up and paused, hanging in the air between us. I leaned forward and rested my cheek against his palm. He sighed, sounding relieved.
"Annabelle…" he started. "No poem, no Shakespeare sonnet can express the feeling I get when you enter the room. No writer can spell out the beauty of your smile; no painter can achieve the precise shade of gray your eyes are... And all I know is every day I wake up knowing I get to see that smile and those eyes and that's all that matters. That one beautiful moment when you smile into my eyes and the world goes still and everything gets sort of...quiet. This is my glimpse of eternity. This is the only way I can express the way I am when I see you." I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. My eyes filled will unexpected tears.
"No, my Anna, don't cry. Please don't cry," he pleaded, wiping away the drops that fell down my cheeks.
"How would you possibly feel that way when we have known each other for such a short amount of time?" I cried, burying my face into my hands. "How could you make it sound that beautiful?"
"Because it's the truth. It is the one thing I am absolutely certain about." I felt his hands gently take mine, pulling them away from my face. I looked down stubbornly, glaring at the ground.
"Annabelle, please look at me." My shoulders sagged at his voice and I looked up. His blue gaze was serious, intense.
"You have seen me at my worst. But you have also seen me at my best. I am my best when I am around you, when I'm holding you in my arms. I dare you to look at me and tell me that this doesn't feel right." He paused. "Now it's your turn. I have to know what's going on in that brilliant mind of yours, sweetheart."
Too much.
I took a deep breath. "When I first started dreaming about you, I was scared. I didn't get why this was happening or what it meant. When I first met you, I was honest when I told you I wasn't scared. I get why you told me that I should be afraid of you now. You're a monster. But Klaus…. Aren't we all monsters?" I looked into his eyes intently. "And seeing you the other night did scare me. That's why I ran… but something pulled me back here. It was you, Klaus. It's always you, calling me back. You have your flaws and you have made your fair share of mistakes throughout the years but so have I. so how am I to judge you when I'm not perfect?" I rested a hand on his cheek. "All I understand right now is that you are mine. Literally mine. My Klaus. And that's all I need to know."
Klaus pulled me close, resting his forehead against mine, releasing another shuddering breath.
"I don't want you to promise that you will change for me," I whispered. "I just want you to promise that no matter what, you will tell me the truth. No matter what, you will always find me and that nothing, nothing, will come between us." Klaus looked into my eyes, his dark blue orbs swirling with emotions.
"I will make that promise, if you make me one," he murmured. I nodded.
"Promise me you will always be here for me. You will always call me back from the darkness that may consume me. You will never leave."
"I, Annabelle, promise to always be here for you. I promise to bring you back when you escape me. I promise never to leave you, Niklaus."
"And I, Niklaus, promise nothing will come between us. I promise to always find you, and I promise to tell the truth to you, Annabelle."
Deep within me, something just… clicked. Like a key to a lock, something snapped into place. I looked at Klaus and knew he felt it too. He lifted his hand and I took it, and gasped. A soft gray light appeared from under my skin and like a rope, wrapped around Klaus's wrist. A deep blue light came from his skin, wrapping its way up my arm. The lights faded away, seeping into our skin, leaving no trace behind.
"The bond," Klaus murmured. "It's getting stronger."
I shook my head. "This just doesn't seem real. This sounds like something out of a children's book." Klaus reached up and caressed my face.
"I have one more thing to ask of you," he said. I nodded.
"Can you forgive me?" he beseeched. I sighed, leaning into his touch, raising a hand to cover his.
"I know these hands have killed many people. I know they have been covered in blood before and they will again. I cannot stop you from choosing to take a life but you cannot ask for my forgiveness, Klaus," I said, "Until you forgive yourself." Klaus's eyes turned into that lovely shade of midnight and he nodded, not answering.
I stood up and he followed me. Taking his hand, I smiled up at him. I stepped forward and leaned up on my toes. I saw his eyes widen in shock before I kissed him. He didn't kiss me back at first, but then slowly, his arms came around me, gripping my waist tightly. My hands latched onto his shoulders and his lips met mine gently. They slid along mine and I ran my hands over the stubble dotting his cheeks, enjoying the scratchy feeling. Pulling back, I rested my forehead against his, my eyes still closed.
"Let's go home," I whispered.
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Author's Note: I know, I know, super sappy chapter, lots of tears. I felt it was necessary though, we all need a glimpse into the non-killer side of Klaus! And yes, the bond is growing. For the little light scene, I kind of pictured it as something similar to the Unbreakable Vow, which all you Harry Potter fans will understand!
And beware of Mark, my newest O/C! You shall see him again… Dun dun dun!
Let me know what you thought of this chapter!