A/N – angst warning for this chapter. May or may not have shed some tears while writing it. I really hope you like it as this chapter was particularly challenging and I'm not entirely sure about a few bits. Please leave reviews.

Also – it may be a while before the next and final chapter is updated, as it will be the hardest to write and I really want to get it right. I hope you have the patience to wait, it will be worth it, I promise!

WARNINGS: None (except for angst... tissues may be useful)

WORDS: 3500

CHAPTER 8

Arthur hadn't slept for two days straight and he was absolutely exhausted. But this was important and it couldn't wait. Even if he had retired, he didn't think he'd be able to get any sleep. Guinevere would be worried, but there was little he could do. He'd been to his chambers, and found her sleeping with her head on the table. After leaving a note explaining that he needed some time to work something out, but assuring her there was no reason for worry, he'd left without waking her. There was no reason to drag her into this. No one believed him and this once perfect world was caving in around him. He knew what he had to do.

Now sitting, pouring over all the old spell books he find, describing magical creatures and fearsome monsters, Arthur yawned. He'd been here for several hours, but eventually as his tired eyes scanned over the pages, he found what he was looking for. Near the end of the last book he had in front of him was a page with one word neatly titled at the top – 'Djinn'.

It described this creature and its supposed ability to grant wishes. Most of what he read were accounts from various people who claimed to have seen one, along with old folklore about them, but there was very little he could concede as fact. Still, this was the best shot he had.

All he found in search of some defence against it was a small scribble at the bottom of the page that said, "Do not approach. The Djinn is a highly dangerous creature. To kill it requires the magic of an enchanted object, made of a Dragons shell.'

Arthur blinked slowly.

After reading the same sentence over and over again, he sighed heavily and closed the book. Standing up, he made his way swiftly out of the library and towards the upper end of the castle.

He could not feel worse for stealing a gift given specially to his mother; the one person whom he'd loved enough to force this world into existence, but he had no choice. He was the King of Camelot, and the lives of everyone in this Kingdom were his responsibility. If the Djinn was still out there, it could change this, it could sort it out... It could take him back.

When he entered Igraine's chambers, he was thankful to find her sleeping peacefully rather than awake; it was hard enough taking something from her, he couldn't have dealt with having to face her as he did it. Another mercy was that she had removed the pendant from her neck before going to sleep, and it now lay, glowing softly in the dark, on her dressing table.

As Arthur reached down to pick it up, he was somewhat surprised to find it feeling warm against his hand and when his skin touched it, instantly he was filled with a sense of peace. And yet at the same time, as he turned to look at his mother, he felt a twang of pain in his heart.

Walking over to where she lay, breathing shallowly, he stood at the head of her bed and watched her for a moment. She was so beautiful. As he looked down at her, he couldn't help but wonder how he could ever forget such a face. She was perfect. And to think that he'd lived his whole life; that he'd somehow managed to get by without this angel to guide him, remained a mystery to him now that he had her. And knowing what he was going to do made this all that much harder...

Brushing away the tear rolling down his cheek, Arthur bent down and placed a gentle kiss on Igraine's forehead. Then, taking a deep breath, he waited no longer. As quietly as he could, with the necklace gripped firmly in his right hand, he turned and walked out of the room.

Heading towards the stables, fighting back against more tears that were threatening to surface, Arthur gripped the pendant tighter. Nodding slowly, reassuring himself, he turned the corner and flew down the stairs, heading towards the great oak doors that lead out to the courtyard. But as he turned at the bottom of the steps, he bumped headlong into Merlin.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked as soon as they pulled apart and saw one another. The momentary shock of the moment stunned Arthur into silence and Merlin squinted at him suspiciously. "Your eyes," he said, "You've been crying."

"It's nothing." Arthur replied, moving to avoid Merlin and continue towards the doors, but Merlin moved too, blocking his path.

Something was wrong. He could sit in the King's eyes. And even without all the oddities of Arthur's behaviour these past few days, he would remain suspicious of anyone bustling about the Castle at this time of the night, fully clothed as though ready to go out.

As Arthur grazed him, brushing past him a second time, Merlin gripped his left wrist. Arthur stopped and the Sorcerer opened up Arthur's hand to find Igraine's enchanted necklace resting in his palm. Merlin looked up into his eyes as though waiting for an explanation, but when Arthur didn't even attempt to give one, Merlin spoke.

"Stealing, Arthur? You're a lot of things, but I never would have taken you for a thief. Not from your own mother."

"Merlin, please..." he began. Then he pulled his hand free and closed it tightly. Sighing heavily, he looked at Merlin with weary eyes. "Go ahead. Stop me. If you really think that little of me – that I should willingly steal from my loved ones without cause." He spoke with pain in his voice and Merlin could hear how tired he was. He was almost pleading.

Shaking his head slightly, Merlin inquired, "What's wrong with you?"

"Look... Merlin," Arthur began, then paused, remembering his 'official' name. Oh to hell with it – he would call him whatever he liked! "I'm sorry we don't get on. I regret that I was so cruel to you and I've caused so much bitterness. And I wish I could stay to fix this; I really do. You are like a brother to me. But... there is something I have to do. So you can try to stop me if you want. But I'm going."

With a pained expression, Arthur backed away from Merlin slowly, as though waiting for him to suddenly cast a spell on him. But when nothing happened, he turned and walked swiftly out of the front gates, down the steps and across the courtyard, leaving Merlin behind, wondering what was going on and why he hadn't tried to stop him...

When Arthur reached the stables, he took one of the cloaks from the stand and draped it around himself. Climbing onto the horse and untying it from its place, he carefully placed the necklace in his pocket and dug his heels into the mare's sides. Almost instantly she reacted and they sped off out of the stables and through the courtyard. But there, Arthur stopped short when met with another unexpected sight.

Merlin was already mounted on a large, brown stallion only a few feet away, in the centre of the courtyard. With a long blue, hooded cloak on, Merlin was clearly ready to ride out.

"Merlin?" Arthur pulled on the horses' reigns and came to a stop just in front of him. "What are you doing?"

The raven-haired man sighed heavily, then looked up at the King. "I'm coming with you." He replied shortly.

Arthur wasn't really sure what to say. After everything he'd learned, this didn't seem like something Merlin would really do.

"Why?" he eventually asked.

"Because..." Merlin sighed heavily, as though it pained him to say it, but still, he managed to get the reluctant words out, "it's my duty. Because, even after everything, we're still... you know." He shrugged, "Anyway, Morgana would have my head if I let any harm come to you!"

Touched by what he'd said, but still wary, Arthur replied, "Merlin... you can't. This is just something I've got to do myself."

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "With all due respect, sire... you don't even know how that pendant works. What are you going to do with it? Swing it around your head and hope something happens?"

Arthur laughed. "I'm glad you're here." He ventured, but Merlin replied quickly.

"Don't push your luck, Arthur." He said dully, "I'm not about to start holding hands and singing lullabies! Let's just... get on and do whatever it is you have to do."

Biting back a retort, reminding himself that he had a solemn job to do, Arthur dug his heels into the horse's sides again and both he and Merlin galloped off out of the citadel, with Arthur leading the way through the forest, to the Djinn's cave. As they left, Arthur struggled to suppress a smile. Circumstances may be different, and Merlin's attitude may have been uncharacteristic, but there was no denying, deep down – he was still the same man. And Arthur wouldn't have it any other way.

They eventually came to a halt as Arthur recognised the place they'd first been attacked by bandits, several days ago. After carefully dismounting, he looked around, holding his sword tight in his hand. They were close.

"Arthur?" Arthur turned to see Merlin, now too dismounted, looking at him quizzically.

"We're close." He said simply.

"To what, exactly?"

Arthur sighed. "Answers," he replied dubiously.

Walking slowly, and as quietly as he could, Arthur began to move out; tracing the path he took in his memory. Re-enacting the battle he'd been caught up in in his mind, he eventually made his way over the ridge, with Merlin following closely behind him.

"Arthur!" he hissed, but he got no reply. Arthur was too absorbed in his mission, in finding whatever it was they were here to find to even hear him speak.

After several minutes, Arthur eventually found the entrance to the cave and Merlin appeared from behind a tree, watching him carefully.

"This is it." Arthur muttered.

"Great." Merlin replied, "But what, exactly, is this?"

"This is where the Djinn is." Arthur eventually said, turning to look at Merlin for a moment, but he just raised his eyebrows and paused, as though unable to believe what he was hearing.

"You were really serious about that Djinn question?"

Arthur nodded.

"Arthur... there is no Djinn. There's no such thing! If there was, don't you think I would have heard of it?"

The King paused for a moment as he drew his mother's enchanted necklace from his pocket. "Apparently you're not as good as you think you are." he joked, turning to look back at Merlin for a moment, before entering the cave.

Merlin watched, sighing heavily with frustration as Arthur disappeared into the darkness. He considered it for a moment, almost hesitating, before following him, hissing, "Arthur! Arthur?"

"I'm right here, Merlin. No need to be scared." came the reply from somewhere ahead.

"Oh this is ridiculous, how are we going to find anything here if we can't see our own feet ahead of us?!" Merlin huffed.

Reaching down, feeling around for a moment blindly with his hands on the ground, he eventually found a big enough stick. Tearing off a piece of his shirt, he bound it to the end, then muttered a spell. The cloth immediately caught fire and Arthur turned round, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the light.

Merlin thrust the flaming branch into his hands, then took out something from his pocket – something Arthur couldn't quite make out. "Nor, doth menn." he uttered, then without warning, a blinding white light burst into being in his palm. After a few seconds it dulled to a more comfortable glow, and Merlin cocked his head at Arthur for a moment.

Rolling his eyes, Arthur turned and continued on into the cave. Now with some light, it was considerably easier, and somewhat less scary walking through the cave, knowing he was about to face the Djinn.

But the further they ventured, the further away from any answers they seemd to get. There was no way to tell which part of the cavern he'd been in when he was attacked, as when he was in here previously, he'd been in complete darkness.

"Arthur," Merlin reasoned after they stopped, both frustrated and no closer to the truth than when they'd entered the cave, now quite some time ago. "Listen to me. There is no Djinn. I don't know what you thought you saw, but look around! There's nothing here -"

Arthur raised his hand suddenly to silence him, as his eyes widened. Merlin turned in the direction of Arthur's gaze and his breath caught when he saw it – a spark of blue disapperaing into the darkness, round a corner.

"There's a passageway!" Arthur exclaimed. "That must be where it's hiding! Quick," he whispered, turning to Merlin, "Put the light out!"

Dropping his torch to the ground and stamping out, Arthur turned to Merlin and he followed suit, closing his hand. Arthur watched his eyes turn gold just before the light almost completely extinguished itself and once again they were engulfed in darkness, with naught but he low, dim glow of Merlin's magic to guide them.

Though a little difficult to navigate, the two men eventually made their way through the passageway, following the Djinn's trail, and came out in a large opening that lead to an open area. The walls were covered in all kinds of blue patterns, some of them glowing, but Arthur was transfixed on something else.

Standing, or rather, hanging there, chained up by his hands against the wall was a boy. Just as he'd seen three times before when no one else could, he was covered in blood and bruises and his clothes were torn. His eyes flickered open for a moment and he looked up Arthur with a pleading look, as though begging him for something and once again Arthur felt his heart wrench.

"Arthur!" Merlin hissed.

"Merlin," Arthur turned to face him, then pointing towards the peasant boy, "You can see him, can't you?"

"Yes, Arthur! I can see him. And I can also see a blue light in the passageway." he pulled at Arthur's arm, but Arthur resisisted and Merlin begged, "Come on, Arthur, please!" But when Arthur shook his head, turning back to look at the peasant boy, confused and unsure what to do, Merlin pleaded desperately, "Look, Arthur – you were right! Okay, you were right – the Djinn is real. And it's here. And it's going to kill us if we stay here. We need to leave, now, or it's going to come back!"

"No, we... we have to help him." Arthur muttered, walking towards the peasant boy.

Then the boy opened his eyes again, looking up at Arthur, and spoke. "Daddy..." he muttered, "Please father..."

Arthur's brow furrowed with concern and utter bewilderment.

"Arthur!" Merlin hissed again, now pulling at his sleeve.

"He's dreaming..." Arthur breathed, as though suddenly his whole world was caving in around him. Then he turned to Merlin, wearing an expression of shock and pain. "What if that's what the Djinn does? What if it makes you dream, makes you believe you're somewhere else while it feeds on you? What if..." his voice broke off for a moment as he considered a possiblity to painful, to horrific to say aloud, "What if I'm in here too? I'm not seeing this boy because I'm losing my mind, I'm just seeing though the cracks of this dream I'm stuck in."

"Arthur, that's insane!" Merlin replied, pulling hard on Arthur's arm and adding, "We have to go, now!"

But Arthur shook him away, this time more violently. He looked at Merlin hard for a moment, then, backing away, he whispered, "I don't think you're real..."

"Arthur, come on! Don't be a fool! Look!" he argued, glancing back at the passageway for a moment where the blue light was growing brighter, edging nearer, before turning back to Arthur and grabbing his clothes by the neck. "Do you feel this?" he asked, pulling at him, "This is real. This is me, really pulling you because we really have to get out of here! Please!"

"Or maybe I need to wake up." he replied, drawing his sword.

"Woah, Arthur!" Merlin exclaimed, "What are you doing?!"

Arthur nodded vigerously, "If you die in a dream, you wake up." Then he raised the sword, pointing it at his chest, muttering, "I need to wake up..."

"No, Arthur, wait!" Merlin pleaded, "You can't kill yourself! Think about Gwen! Your sister! What would your mother say? You've got them, you've got everything you ever wanted and they can't live without you, and you're about to take your own life!"

Arthur paused for a moment, then he added, "I don't think they're real either. I have to..." Looking at Merlin one last time with a pleading look of pain in his eyes, he raised the sword again.

"STOP!" Merlin screamed.

Arthur turned, almost doing a double take, as he saw his mother standing a few feet away, walking towards his side. Then, just behind Merlin, walking through the passageway, came not the Djinn, but Morgana and Guinevere. Looking around, unable to comprehend anything, Arthur met with Gwen and Morgana's gaze, before eventually turning back to Merlin.

Merlin sighed heavily, with tears in his eyes. "Why did you have to keep looking? Why couldn't you just leave it alone? Arthur... you were happy!"

Turning from one to the other, Arthur's face was painted with an expression of disbelief and anguish. Then Igraine touched his shoulder. Looking up at him with that beautiful softness in her eyes, she said calmly, "Come back to Camelot with us, Arthur. Put down the sword; come home."

Arthur swallowed hard, fighting against the painful lump in his throat. "But it's not real..."

"Does it matter?" she asked, "It's still better than anything you ever had."

Arthur's eyebrows furrowed, but Gwen replied, "Everything is as you always wanted. You have your family; Camelot lives in peace."

"But..." Arthur mumbled, finding it difficult to form his struggle into words, "The Djinn... I'll die!"

"But in here, it will last forever," Igraine replied.

Arthur turned to her, fighting back the tears swimming in his eyes as she reached up and touched his face. Savouring the sensation of her warm hand holding his cheek, he closed his eyes.

"You can have all you ever wanted – we're a family again; I'm here! You can live out your entire life as you've always dreamed and never have to worry about anything ever again. You can have the perfect life."

Gwen moved forward as Igraine stepped away and she took his face in her hands, pulling him close and planting a gentle, passionte kiss on his lips. "Please," she breathed as she pulled away, "stay. We're about to start a family! We'll have children and you'll get to see them grow up and have children of their own! It's all you ever wanted..."

"Guinevere..." was all Arthur could manage. She smiled up at him, wiping away a tear that had just escaped his eye.

Then she stepped back as Morgana looked up at Arthur. "Out there you won't have me." she said as a tear fell from own her eyes.

Arthur swallowed hard. "But... all of those people... Gaius, Annis..."

She sighed, gazing into his eyes with a look that pierced all of his defences, crawling inside and right to his heart, where it tore him apart. "Why is it your job to save everyone? Are you not allowed to be happy just because you're the King? Haven't you done enough already?"

As a tear slid down his cheek, Arthur looked around once more, feeling a phsyical pain in his chest from the internal turmoil.

"Please," Merlin pleaded, all the cold and the bitterness gone from his eyes. "I'm begging you – stay. Please."

Arthur nodded slowly, then after a long, tearful pause, he took a step back and looked up, looking around at everyone. It was so perfect; they were right – he had everything. He had his mother, everything was as it should have been. She should never have been taken from him. His father should have lived in peace and loved his son with all his heart. Morgana should have stayed, she should have had the chance to be happy and to fall in love. The Kingdom should have been at peace, none of this should have happened and it just wasn't fair!

This was everything that could have been. This was what he had to give up for a Kingdom with a bloody history, a father who died bitter and a sister who hated him. And he wished to hell he didn't have to. He wished he could have this. But the truth was, even now... he didn't.

Arthur braved one last smile as he took it in – this perfect dream that should have been. "I'm sorrry."

Then he raised the sword one last time and thrust with all his might, and the blade pierced his chest with immense force.

A/N – It may be a while before the next and final chapter is updated, as it will be the hardest to write and I really want to get it right. I hope you have the patience to wait, it will be worth it, I promise!