I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I wa s trying to get back to the bunker but I had no idea how far away it was on foot , or in what direction. My shovel had pr oven useful when I was approached by a f ew biters, but luckily I wasn't swarmed and they were all on their own. I tried my best not to think about upsetting thi ngs like how Stewart had died, how the g uys had left me and how Merle treated pe ople in general, but found the angrier I was, the faster I ran. I let the rage b uild up inside of me for when biters cam e, and when they did I was so violent to wards them that I was still beating them even when they had been put down. I was determined to get home before dark, or at least find a decent shelter. There wa s no way I'd let myself spend another ni ght hopelessly ambling round in the dark , unarmed and unprepared. I was so cold that night that I could barely feel anyt hing, and the feeling hadn't changed - I was still numb, but was trying to think of other things to distract myself from the pain. Normally when I ran I'd liste n to some music, but that was when I ran to keep fit and not for my life. Things had changed a lot and I couldn't focus on the petty things like my iPod. My mai n priority was to be safe, and it wasn't long until I came across something that seemed perfect.
Even in the daylight, sitting inside of it was terrifying. It was damp, dark and smelly, and there was only one way in a nd out, but it still seemed right. The c ave was pretty deep and was big enough f or me stand up, lie down, all that jazz. All I needed to do was get a light in t here somehow, block up the wall and make sure I was warm enough. I dedicated the rest of the day to scavenging all kinds of objects from nearby homes and shops, from candles and matches to tea-cosies and furniture. Yes, that's right, furnit ure. I admit it wasn't my best plan of a ction, but it was the only thing I found that could possibly block the entrance to the cave well enough. I threw everyth ing in when I returned, made sure to pos ition and light the candles and then sta cked the tables and drawers I'd found in front of me to prevent anyone or anythin g from entering. I threw on all the clot hes I'd picked up from the houses before and after and then tried my best to enj oy the fact I was 'safe', even though I didn't feel it. It turned out that I don 't feel safe unless I'm with someone, an d by someone I mean anyone. I was terrif ied of spending the night alone in a str ange cave, and would even have settled w ith Merle looking after me if it meant I was protected.