Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews in the last couple chapters, Guest, callico11852, WritingPhotographer, Singingsilent, and YazminXD! I tried to make the last chapter a tearjerker without making it too sappy or too traumatic for Jason; it was hard, Guest. Glad it worked. :)
Me too this past January, Sophia, and I'm still looking for my Dr. Port. Happy early birthday, Sophia!
"It just about breaks my heart," Trudy sniffled and sat down on the other side of the desk that afternoon.
She closed the laptop, not really able to concentrate on work anyways. "Is he still in his room? He wanted to try lying down for a bit when I left a half hour ago." Rubbing her bleary eyes, she looked at Trudy.
"I checked on him a minute ago, and he was pacing and holding his mouth, don'tcha know. He won't let me help. He let me change bandages for his other surgeries." She blew her nose loudly into a tissue. "Stubborn as a field cat, he is. Won't let me do a thing." Trudy looked at her with red eyes. "He can't stop with the tissues, like a poor fish with water. What it's doing to his pride!" Then the woman blubbered into her tissue.
She sighed, prested down with worries like Trudy's too. "He just needs time. It's only temporary until a bridge can be placed."
"You look like a racedog after a run, bless your heart."
She was too tired to try to decipher that metaphore. "I'll go check on him. Did he take ice cream or anything? He hasn't eaten all day." Trudy shook her head.
Digging through the fridge, she found some yogurt. Thick enough it might not cause problems but soft enough to not cause pain. Then she headed up to his room.
He paced in the bedroom but sat on the bed to offer his profile, still not wearing the mask, as soon as she entered. One hand held a rag to his lips and his other held a bag of ice. The bag rested in a hand on his lap rather than on his mouth. The lines of his face spoke of pain.
"I brought you yogurt to start. You must be hungry. Do you want to eat in here?" He nodded, so she set the bowl and spoon down on the nightstand before stepping back to avoid seeing his burns. Then she turned to him. "Has the bleeding started again?" He shook his head. "Did you take your pain medicine? Trudy said she was bringing it up-" The pills sat on a plate on the bed. Her brow furrowed, and she looked at his profile. "Jason, you need to take them so you don't hurt. There's anti-inflammatory in them that you need too." When he didn't respond, she sat beside him.
Something prevented him from taking the pills. If she could just figure it out and spare him from having to explain why, he could avoid more embarrassment. She nibbled her lip and looked at the pills. They rivaled horse pills, and one looked like he'd tried swallowing it. He'd mentioned once that his esophagus was scarred. Maybe he couldn't swallow them. The dentist had given a pain injection before departing the clinic, so this was his first dose of pills. How could she word this without embarrassing him? "Would this taste best crushed in yogurt or applesauce?"
He shook his head and looked at her from the corner of his eye.
Apparently that wasn't the problem. She frowned and nibbled her lip again. "Are you having trouble talking?"
He slowly nodded, dropping his eye.
Stevens and Trudy and everyone were feeling sorry for him, and it made him feel worse and not try. The worst thing she could do for him now was to feel sorry for him and encourage the pity. "Your speech will only improve with practice. Tell me why you can't take the medicine. If your speech is muffled, I'll try to figure out what you're saying." She waited. He didn't move. "Jason, I know this is hard, but you're not going to pull away from everyone and hole up. In the grand scheme of things, this is nothing compared to what you've been through before. I'm not leaving until we get pain meds in you."
His gaze remained on his lap, and he set down the ice. Then his left hand glided over to grasp hers and held tight, as if grabbing a lifeline. His hand trembled a bit.
He wanted this. He needed someone to pull him out of the doldrums. Her heart stumbled because he immediately latched on so tight. She should've come up sooner. BRinging his hand to her lips, she kissed his knuckles. "I'm here, Jason."
He swallowed hard and turned his face to her a bit. Letting go of her hand, he pointed to the left side of his mouth. It was a bit swollen and red. "Allergic." The word came out muffled but distinct.
Her heart jumped to her throat. "Is your throat swollen? Do you need antihistamine?" He shook his head, and her nerves calmed. "The dentist probably can't prescribe over state lines. Can you have the codeine here?"
Then he reached over, the tips of his fingers ever so carefully brushing over her eyes. She closed them, and his footsteps padded around the room. The bed shifted like he sat beside her. His hand brushed her arm, so she opened her eyes. He held a syringe, gloves, bandage, alcohol wipe, and injection bottle out to her, his hand trembling. "Side effect anesth...anesthesia." The last word came out garbled but decipherable. He couldn't give the injection himself with unsteady hands. "Pills gone yet."
"You gave the last of them to me for the car accident." That twisted her heart that he had to take an injection because of her. He shrugged. "Can't you take ibuprofen instead?" He shook his head and pointed to his lip. "You're allergic to that too? I suppose regular acetaminophen isn't strong enough for this." She bit her lip. "I haven't given an injection before. Are you with it enough to walk me through it?"
He nodded. The poor thing must've been in pain, but he remained a patient teacher as she slowly followed his directions. "Muscle," he said once she had the syringe loaded. Then he unbuttoned his blue dress shirt and shrugged it off his left shoulder to bare his upper arm. He pointed to the site and handed her the alcohol wipe. "Pull plunger..." He had to wipe his mouth again. "Make sure no blood before injecting. Half inch in."
"Your speech isn't bad, you know. It's mostly swelling making it muffled," she said as she cleaned the site. Then she poised the needle. "Fast? Slow?"
"Little fast."
She got it within an inch of his skin, her heart thundering. Then she pulled back. He sighed. "Can I do nerve damage or anything if I do it wrong?" He dragged a finger across his throat. "I can kill you?!" she screeched.
He snorted trying not to laugh and held his face.
Cocking an eyebrow, she pointed at him. "I have a syringe here. Don't tease me. You must not be feeling too miserable," she grumbled. Then she started and stopped right before it pierced him three times. He sighed in impatience. "Sorry! This should be a good thing that I'm scared to hurt you." After another failed attempt, he lightly swatted her hand when she tried again, forcing the needle in. She almost started. "Jason! What if I'd poked your eye out?" He gave her a look. She pulled back the plunger. "I don't see blood. Inject it?" He nodded. She injected it slow.
"Do it."
So she went a little faster and then stuck on the bandage before giving his shoulder a quick kiss.
"Thank you." He smiled a bit and pulled up his shirt while she threw everything out and washed.
"No." She returned and unbuttoned his shirt, keeping her eyes diverted from his face. "You are not at a business meeting. You'll get pajamas on, and then we're going to cuddle up to watch a movie or something. You need to learn what a lazy sick day means." Then she started unbuttoning his pants. He slapped a hand over the zipper. She sat on his left side and gave him a look. "You stripped me after the car accident, and it's not like you're in any shape to be ravished. I'm not going to strip you completely naked."
"I'm able bodied." He gave her a look, still holding the rag to his mouth.
She suppressed a smile. It melted her heart that he was shy about it, especially for being such a confident doctor. So she left. When she returned in red pajamas and a blue robe, he wore green flannel pajamas and socks. He flung out a hand at himself as if saying, 'Is this what you want?' With a smile, she wrapped her arms around his middle. "Yes." Then she stood on her toes and kissed his good cheek. His eye seemed to be freeing up from pain. "Now, my perfectly sweet, sexy boyfriend, whom I owe a really, really," she rolled her eyes back, "hot pity makeout session when you're better..." His eye lit up for a minute. "Do you feel up for a movie after your yogurt?"
He picked up the bowel and glanced at her from the corner of his eye, seeming ready to go.
Setting her hands on her hips, she smiled at him. "You're far easier to handle mute and drugged up." A small smile touched his lips, the best he could smile right now. She grabbed the ice too, and they headed down the hall.
Trudy stopped at the stairs and gawked. "Dr. Port? Are you ill? You're in pajamas in the middle of the day, don'tcha know."
She smiled and looped her arm through Jason's. "We are having a lazy pajama day because he doesn't feel well."
Trudy's mouth hung open still. "You're in pajamas in the middle of the day," she repeated dumbly and stared after them.
He didn't seem pleased that she insisted on carrying both items so he could hold the railing, but he complied before taking the bowl from her at the bottom of the stairs. Then he walked beside her, still holding the rag to his mouth. She walked with him down a small hall at the back of the house she hadn't been in before. It looked like the way to a laundry room. "Where are we going?"
"Man cave." With a smile, he opened the door at the end of the hall.
The room stood about twenty by thirteen feet with a normal eight-foot ceiling. It was decorated like the inside of a cabin, with the wood log walls, stone fireplace, and rustic look. A plush sofa, rocking chair, loveseat, and a knotty wood coffee table furnished the room. A large screen TV hung on a wall. "Oh my gosh, Jason," she laughed. "Why have you never shown me this room?"
"Like it?"
She turned. He stood in the shadows, but the glint of his eye watched her intently. Her smile faded a little at the serious note in his voice. For some reason, he seemed to often want to know her opinion of the house. "I do. I think it's one of my favorite rooms."
"Which others?"
Cocking her head, she frowned. "Why?"
"Curious."
She nibbled her lip and thought a moment. "This one is so homey. Then the arboretum is so beautiful. I think my room next." His eye squinted a tad in question. "Because it's where I met you." She flushed and glanced away in embarrassment when the most tender look touched his eye.
"Are you going to eat in here?" she asked to change the topic. He hesitated for a moment. "I wish you would. I know you didn't, but I liked that night we had dinner together at the hospital." She nibbled her lip. He'd step out and eat on his own. The comment must have tipped him over the fence because he slowly nodded that he'd stay.
She closed the curtains of the two windows, leaving the room quite dim while he started a fire in the woodburing fireplace. "I can do it. Do you get nervous by fire?"
"No." A smile lightened his voice. "No one's thought to ask. Thank you, though."
When she turned, she ran smack into the coffee table. Sharp pain burst through her shin, and she cried out. She hissed in a breath and sat on the table to grab her leg. A lump already started forming under her hand. Rubbing furiously made it hurt less.
Jason opened a curtain and knelt at her feet, setting the rag on the table. He seemed to forget about the scars because he knelt facing her, but she looked away quick without seeing more than a flesh-toned blur. "I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth. But he pulled up her bluejeans pant leg and gently palpated to survey the damage. She jerked her leg when he touched a particularly tender spot. "It's fine." Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpsed him pick up the rag and wipe his mouth. Then he leaned down and brushed a soft kiss over her shin. She swallowed hard at the gesture. The pain seemed to ease a little.
He stood and helped her limp to the sofa. Then he closed the curtain again and sat on the sofa beside her. When he pulled her leg into his lap and set his ice on her shin, she tried to pull his arm away and swing her leg down. "No, Jason, that's for your sugery. I just have a bruise." She pulled on his arm again. He didn't budge and kept ahold of her leg, swallowing repeatedly to avoid his mouth running. Biting her lip, she blinked back tears. He wasn't supposed to give to her what he desperately needed. "Jason, stop it." Her voice cracked. She pulled on his arm again and sniffled.
His head turned to her a bit to look her in the eye. His words mumbled together somewhat. He had to hold the rag to his mouth when he spoke. "Why does it scare you? I'd give you my heart if you needed it." He said it so matter of fact, like it was as obvious as the sun rising and setting that he would give up his life for her.
She bowed her head, her face crumpling. He didn't even appear to realize that he was speaking full sentences, regardless of his embarrassment over the impaired speech. Or that he'd almost revealed his scars in his haste to help. Now he bore physical pain so he could lessen hers.
"You gave me your own blood," he said softly. "Why can't I love you as much?"
Tears fell into her lap. "I was too terrified to sleep for thirty eight hours after he..." Her voice faded away. "He didn't do it for his pleasure." She sniffled. "He did it to teach me a lesson for leaving him. He did it for the power, made sure I screamed until I was hoarse by the time the police arrived. It took eight minutes for them to come."
Tears glistened in his eye. Then he closed it and swallowed hard like he was biting back bile.
"I think I went a bit insane in those thirty eight hours." She met his eye, with tears bathing her face. "But then I found something that took away the fear and pain, something I'd hold onto for three years. I told myself there was a man out there who would protect me, who would love me so much he would take pain for me. Who would love me so unconditionally and be the angel after the monster had gotten me. I knew a man like that didn't exist, but it helped to have the dream to hold onto." Her lip quivered, and her voice broke. "I loved you before I met you."
A single, soft sob escaped him, and a tear raced down his cheek. He sniffled as he gathered her in his arms to hold tight. "I love you," he whispered and seemed to struggle to not weep. He took a couple shakey breaths and held her tighter. "I'll always try to protect you from anything. Things I can't like losing your father, I'll carry you through them. You're my angel, Emma. I've needed you for so long. You make me hope again."
Once all the tears subsided, he ate the yogurt while she ran upstairs to get pillows and blankets. When she returned, he had a romantic comedy rented on the TV. "Really?" She looked at him in surprise. What man opted for a chick flic?
"I'm prowbawb, prowb..." He didn't look like he even cared anymore that he couldn't speak properly from the swelling. "Screw it." He waved his hand, giving up on his speech. "Going to fall asleep."
She burst out laughing and propped the pillows so he could lay on his left side. "Sometimes you surprise me how you can seem so properly uptight and then so normal."
He cocked an eyebrow. She laid on her side on the front of the cushions so he could lay behind without her seeing his face. He laid on his side behind her. "You forget I'm a bwadass convict." He snorted a laugh when his poorly pronounced 'b' killed his point.
She choked on a giggle.
"Oh, it's funny?" His fingers tickled under her arm, and she squealed and squirmed with laughter. His hand dove under the blankets for her belly. She laughed and jerked her knees up to curl into a ball. And bumped his hand up under her shirt at the last second so he tickled her bare breast instead of stomach.
He froze for a split instant. She froze in surprise too. Then his hand whipped out from under the blankets. "I'm so sorry. I meant to get your stomach through your shirt. I wouldn't just touch without making sure it was alright or-" He practically fell all over himself apologizing.
"I know," she said with a furious blush. Then she buried her face in her hands and giggled at the irony of his profuse apologizing. "Mr. Badass." She handed him the ice over her shoulder. "I love you."
He relaxed against her. "I love you."
His arm grew heavy around her fifteen minutes into the movie. She carefully reached back without looking and took off the ice so he wouldn't get frostbite. Five minutes later, the poor exhausted man softly snored. She soon fell asleep wrapped in his arms.