XVI. Push
You've seen me at my weakest,
But you take me as I am.
You're all the things I desire,
You save me, you complete me
You're the one truth thing I believe in
-Sarah McLachlan
After his awful confrontation with Maria, she refused to speak to him thereon. Tyler called everyday, of course, telling his messages to Pinkie for him to relay to Maria. He sent her e-mails and texts hoping against hope that one of them might gain a response. Reid kept in touch with Tyler everyday, sometimes dropping in on him during his lunch hour, or coming to his home in the evening with dinners made by Rowan. Naturally the blonde couldn't have cared less if Tyler wanted him there or not.
The first week of December brought about Rowan's twenty-eighth birthday. She never liked big birthday parties but a dinner was put together for her. Tyler attended hoping Maria would be there, but he found that she'd called Rowan, expressing her apologies that she would not be attending. Of course, his entire family knew of what had gone on, perhaps not the minute details, but they got the gist. During the whole dinner he was given sympathetic looks. Even Chase afforded him one.
The youngest Son was exhausted, bereft, missing his wife and their son she was carrying. Tyler would not let the idea of permanent separation followed by divorce creep into his mind. It was too painful, too awful to contemplate. It took a few days but Tyler realized that Maria's parents did not know what was going on. Dorothea and Carlos Velasquez owned a large villa in California. Although they sent their daughter (Maria was the middle child) to a private school on the East coast, they'd never expected her to stay there. Only because they liked Tyler so much did they not voice too much opposition of her living in Massachusetts. But if Maria had really wanted to live in California, Tyler would have consented and set up home with her there.
The day after the seven day mark of his separation Tyler met with Reid during his lunch hour.
"Not much sleep?" Reid asked as he took a bite of his salad.
His eyes were bloodshot; naturally, he did not look his best. "Some."
"You uh…think about taking some time off?"
"I'd go insane doing nothing," Tyler replied.
Reid nodded. After a few moments of silence he said, "Row and I went to Pinkie's last night. Maria looks good." There was no need to say she looked sad and tired.
Tyler was alert at the topic of his wife; his eyes were desperate for any and all information. "Is she eating well? Getting around without too much trouble?" He shot off a few more questions and Reid nodded in the affirmative to them all. "Did she say anything?"
Reid glanced away. Yes, Maria had said some things, but only because Reid had opened his big mouth, as usual. "I tried to ask her about you, but she got a little…upset. Teary-eyed, though" Reid hastily tacked on. "That's good, right?"
"Good that she was crying?"
"No, good that she's more sad than angry, you know?" Reid wiped his mouth with a napkin, set his fork down. "You know what I think?" He gave Tyler no chance to answer. "Me and Row were talking about this but it was my idea. See, I think Maria isn't so much mad that it happened, but that you lied about it."
"Yeah, I got that Reid," Tyler interrupted snippily.
"You didn't let me finish," Reid rebutted. "Anyway, see, she is also sad that something or someone could get so close to the bond that you and she have. I mean, it's yours, you guys made it, and here comes some bitch," –a few people in the cafeteria turned their heads towards the table, but Reid paid no heed– "trying to horn in."
Tyler remained silent, absorbing his friend's words.
"I never told anyone this, but something similar happened to me and Row."
His brow shot up. "When?"
It was five years after they were married, his first year on the Olympic team. He'd traveled for swim competitions before, but never this long (three months), never this far away. Rowan tried to make it to as many of his competitions as possible, but they were out of the country and she had to work, too. Plus, Ernie was old (he would be put to sleep in half a year) and needed someone close by. It had happened after a shut-out win for them. The team was partying in a hotel room (one of those large, five-star rooms), and despite the win Reid was wishing that Rowan had been there to see it.
His team mates had kidded with him about how much he missed his wife, but Reid didn't care. Because there was no practice or meet the next day, Reid let himself imbibe in a few alcoholic beverages. Later that night he found himself on the balcony bench, a little sloshed-slash-melancholy mood. He was going through pictures on his phone; naturally most were of him and Rowan. He'd barely noticed the woman who planted herself next to him.
What happened was fairly textbook. She asked him about Rowan, Reid began to extol about her. The woman's words were a bit unclear to him by the next morning, but it finally led to her lips brushing against his neck and her hand massaging his crotch. His reflexes were a bit delayed because of the drinks, so it was a second before it hit his brain and he was up to his feet, stumbling. Reid didn't remember if he said anything to the woman, but he left the party right after.
"Anyway," Reid went on, "the next time I talked to Row, I told her. She was quiet at first, then told me she wasn't mad, but I knew she was more upset than she was letting on. So, the next time I talked to her she told me what she was really thinking. And she said she was upset because someone disrespected the bond she and I shared."
Tyler nodded in comprehension. "Thanks, Reid."
He grinned. "That's what I'm here for, Baby Boy. Spreading the wisdom." Bite. Chew. Swallow. "Don't worry, you'll make it right."
xx
"Gain a little more weight, she says," Judy repeated what the ob/gyn had told her twenty minutes ago. "I'm seven-and-a-half months, I think I'm big enough."
Caleb half-smiled from behind the steering wheel.
"Not remotely amusing," Judy said. "I can practically hear the boom-boom sounds when I walk." She rolled her eyes.
The increasing weight gain that started about three months ago was continually grating on her nerves. She'd been big all through junior high and most of high school, and reverting back to a heavy person was disconcerting. She exercised lightly as the doctor said she could, but now she needed to taper off. Judy was determined to prove that she could handle the pregnancy and everything else seamlessly.
"Well, we'll listen to the doctor," Caleb said.
"You mean I will listen to the doctor," she retorted. "You don't have to gain a pound or rearrange any of your priorities at all. God, I can't wait until I'm not pregnant anymore."
He went silent, picking up on her biting tone. It was sounding more often. He knew his wife was stressed with work, and the toll pregnancy was taking on her body. Judy didn't have to tell him that gaining weight (from a baby or not) was difficult. She never had any unhealthy habits to maintain a good weight, but Caleb did know that she still had insecurities, which he understood.
"I didn't mean it like that," she told him.
"I know," he replied.
"No, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I've been less than pleasant company."
Caleb reached over and took her hand, gave it a squeeze.
"Do you think I should start decreasing my work hours like she said?" Judy asked, looking out the window.
"Do you feel like you need to?"
She was quiet for a moment, then gave a small sigh. "I don't want to get behind, Caleb. I see how people are looking at me in the office, like I can't handle my job. I was even rejected as a court-appointed lawyer by an offender because I'm pregnant."
"What? When?"
"Earlier this week."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Judy half-shrugged. "You have your own work. And I didn't want to complain."
"Judy, you don't ever have to keep anything from me," he said gently.
It was her turn to half-smile. "I know." As they neared home, she said, "Millicent is taking me out to lunch tomorrow."
"I'm not invited?" he pretended disappointment.
"It's just a girls' day."
"You mean a women's day," he stressed with a grin and Judy laughed.
xx
Maria sighed heavily. She was laying on the couch in Pinkie and Laurie's living room looking out the vast window. They were out for a few hours (they couldn't stop their lives for her, as she insisted) but would be back soon. They both called her periodically to see how she was doing. And a half-hour ago she'd just gotten off the phone with Rowan after a good ninety-minute conversation. Maria tried not to think about Tyler but he always came back forefront to her mind. She ping-ponged from anger to sadness, wanting to call him then vowing she'd never speak to him again.
Just then she felt a soft kick. Alexander was getting more active the closer his due date came. Maria never imagined being a single mother, raising a child without his father. She desperately wanted Tyler here, yet looking at him hurt. How could he have lied to her like that? Deep down, she had to admit that she did not believe Tyler had really done anything with Serena. What had happened was just something worth confiding in her. And he had lied four years ago when he went to California to see her.
Nothing happened, he had said.
But Serena had tried to kiss him. That was something.
Lied right to my face, she thought.
"What are you trying to say, baby?" Maria asked her belly when Alexander kicked again. "You miss Daddy?" She sighed. "Me, too."
Perhaps she was being too harsh, the thought crossed her mind. Could she forgive him? It wasn't as if he had really cheated on her. There was no adultery. Maria knew Tyler loved her unconditionally. People made mistakes, right?
Maria sniffled, the deep thinking making her tear up again. She felt lonely and instantly thought of Tyler.
Alexander kicked again.
"Wow, you are really-" Her words were cut off by a clutching of her lower abdomen, robbing her of breath. It lasted for a good ten seconds before abating. Just when she thought it was a fluke, the blinding pain hit her again.
Too early for labor.
"Too earl-" She cried out.
The contraction passed. Her cell phone was on the table next to her but she felt as if she could barely move. Maybe a glass of water would help? Tea? Maria had read about this, so she very carefully turned onto her left side. She was breaking out into a cold sweat with a slight case of the chills. After a minute, she felt a bit of moisture between her legs.
As soon as Maria thought she could reach for her phone, she speed-dialed Pinkie. He answered on the third ring and when she told him what was happening he said he was going to call 911.
"Stay on the line with me, sweetie," he said.
The operator answered.
"This if of vital importance," Pinkie intoned. "You need to get to," – he rattled off his address – "ASAP. There's a pregnant woman in her last trimester experiencing painful contractions and spotting and she's alone. Got that?" The operator spoke. "She can't move, the door's locked, so break it down for all I care. Use a battering ram and haul tookus!"
xx
It was an exceptionally busy day, too busy for Tyler to take a lunch break; that was perfectly fine. He needed to stay occupied to stave off the hurt and aching hope of Maria forgiving him. Seeing his patients, their problems, kept his mind off his own. It wasn't that 'misery loved company' but whenever he saw hope in the eyes of very ill patients, or the smiles of those that received good news reminded Tyler of why he was in this field to begin with.
At his graduation from four years of medical school his entire family had been there. Maria had jumped up from her seat when his name was called, waving, smiling and clapping. She was the brightest light in that sea of people in attendance. It was a joy that his other family was there, definitely, but Maria…
Maria, he said her name in his mind.
Tyler rubbed his weary eyes as he emerged from the examination room. His patient had departed fifteen minutes ago, but he'd needed time to collect himself before immersing himself in the throng of people.
"Hey, Doc, you okay?" Andy, a hospital volunteer asked.
He grinned. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks."
"Okay," he replied hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure of the believability of Tyler's words. Andy let Tyler go when the latter's pager sounded.
Tyler looked at it, seeing that it wasn't a working message. It read 911. Then a PA announcement: "Doctor Simms, please come to the maternity ward, Doctor Simms-"
"Tyler, get here now! Pronto!" a voice sounded, interrupting the report. "Like yester-"
"Excuse me, sir!" the receptionist declared.
"Okay, so don't 'excuse me'!"
To Tyler it sounded suspiciously like Pinkie. And at the mention of 'maternity' he instantly thought of Maria. He took the first and closest elevator, grateful that it was empty so there were no stops except his. By the time he got to the receptionist his face was flushed and heart beating a mile a minute. Pinkie was also arguing with a security guard.
"Pinkie!" Tyler called.
His faced whipped to the right. "Jesus! Tyler, please tell this man-in-blue that I am a visitor!"
"Dr. Simms, you know this guy?" the security officer asked.
"Yeah, he's family," Tyler replied.
"Thank you," Pinkie glared at the man.
"What's going on, Pinks?" Tyler questioned. "Is it Maria and the baby? Are they okay?"
Pinkie was serious now as he pulled Tyler off to the side. "She…" He sighed, troubled. "Now, she is okay, all right?"
Tyler couldn't wait. He said to the receptionist, "Maria Simms' room." He was told which number.
Pinkie hurried after him. "Wait a sec. She's okay, but-"
Maria's door was closed, his hand about to touch the knob when it was stopped by Pinkie. Tyler glared at Pinkie, ready to snap, but Pinkie's insistent expression stilled him.
"What happened, Pinkie?"
Pinkie told him as calmly and non-judgmentally as possible. "The doctor said it was likely stress. And that it was imperative that she not…get stressed."
He blinked. Would his very presence upset Maria? Maybe if he stayed quiet, just peeked in on her. To see her. Just for a second.
"She did say your name. In the ambulance."
Tyler's eyes begged for more.
"Maria was calling out for you," Pinkie finished. He stepped back, letting Tyler make the decision if he wanted to see her.
He swallowed a lump in his throat and slowly turned the doorknob. Only a dim light shone in the room, and the drip-drip of the IV. Maria lay on her side, facing the window. Tyler could tell from her breathing that she was awake. One did not sleep in the same bed with someone for nine years and not know the patterns of their breathing.
Tyler waited for her to say something but no words were forthcoming. After a minute he approached, his shoes making barely a sound against the tiled floor. His fingertips touched the edge of her bed though they longed to whisper through his wife's hair, loosely in a braid. Tyler wanted to see her face, yet it remained fixed away from his eyes.
"Maria," he said softly, unable to keep the yearning from his voice.
She didn't answer.
His fingers crept closer to her hair. "I'm sorry that this happened. I'm…so sorry that my actions put you and our baby in danger." A sniffle was his only reply, but it bore him courage to go on. He had to think of the right words, something to bridge the gap, thaw the ice. A starting point was the beginning. "You know…I remember the first time I saw you. In the courtyard at Spenser, talking to Rowan." His mouth twitched in a small grin, remembering. "I stopped so abruptly that Reid bumped into me. I couldn't stop looking at you. Reid had to slap me upside the head to get my attention." Tyler chuckled dryly. "You were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I had never had a reaction like that before.
"And that night I first kissed you, I'd never been so nervous. I was in love with you before then. I've loved you since then. I'll keep on loving you…even if you stop;" – he had to pause – "loving me."
"Stop loving you?" Maria blurted, head turned to him. "How could I stop loving you, Tyler?" Tears filled her eyes. "That's impossible."
He was beyond relieved to hear that. "Could you ever forgive me?" he asked tentatively.
Her lips pursed defiantly, then she exhaled, frustrated and shifted so she lay on her back. "I know you weren't unfaithful. And…maybe you really thought what happened with her was nothing." She sniffed. "But…she touched you. I hate that she touched you. Twice."
Tyler nodded. It flashed that Reid's theory was correct.
"And darn you, Tyler, you have such a big heart that you couldn't turn her away in the cold. I want to blame you…but you just wouldn't be you if you hadn't offered to help her." Her big brown eyes looked deep into his, not with anger, or accusation; just acceptance. "She took advantage of you. She knew you loved me and that you were faithful but she threatened us anyway." Tears broke free. "She threatened us, Tyler!" Her voice rose, and her cheeks flushed.
Tyler hugged her, soothing her, caressing her hair. "I know."
Maria hugged him back, holding on tightly, crying. "Will you take me home, Tyler Bear?" She pulled back slightly to see his eyes. "I don't sleep well without you."
Tyler kissed her gently. "I don't sleep well without you either."
I apologize profusely for the fluff. I didn't want to drag out their reconciliation.
I'm trying not to make this overly long, because I already feel like it's lagging. *shrugs*
So, great thanks to those who are lagging along with me. :D
Just a note, I made more couple banners, they're on my profile.