XVII. What Dreams May Come

He was part of my dream, of course;
but then I was part of his dream too.
-Lewis Carroll

"What time are you having lunch with Millicent?" Caleb said as they ate dinner.

"About one, if our schedules don't change."

They tried to get together at least once a week, but their schedules were both so busy. Plus, Judy could feel some tension rising between the both of them. It was in Millicent's tone, something that grated on Judy's nerves, it didn't sit right with her. Comments made about Caleb (which she had tolerated for years), subtle insinuations that her pregnancy was a hindrance, a burden.

Was it? she thought. Is it? Do I resent the fact that I unwillingly conceived right now? That I had no choice in the matter.

Caleb saw the furrow of his wife's brow, but didn't say anything. Judy became increasingly stressed and impatient by the day, a mix between pregnancy and work, and nothing he said or did could alleviate the situation. Deep down, he feared that Judy was truly having second thoughts about starting a family. Were it not for the Covenant's chain reaction, they likely would not have chosen this time to begin a family. At least on her part, since they married the idea of having a son appealed to Caleb greatly.

"God, I'm stuffed," she declared.

There was still food on her plate. Caleb said, "You sure? You've hardly touched anything."

"I had a big lunch." Judy rose from her chair carefully and picked up her plate. "Are you finished?"

Caleb actually was. So he nodded and gave his plate to Judy's extended arm. "Thank you." He took the rest of the dishes to the kitchen and told Judy that they could leave this until tomorrow and that relaxing was in order. He wanted to sit in front of the fireplace in the grand living room with the Christmas lights flickering playfully.

"Whatever you say," she replied lightly. "I have no problem with this. Besides, I have some files to go over."

"I said relax," he said as he followed her towards the office. "Not work." The two of them shared the sumptuous study that had once been his father's. Law books occupied the shelves, and two desks on either side of the room faced each other; one his, one hers.

"I have to finish this," she argued, heading to her desk.

"Judy," he said, tone serious. "You've been going all day. Don't you think you need to just…sit back? The doctor said-"

"Oh, the hell with the doctor," she snapped. "Is she juggling a full-time job in a competitive field and a pregnancy at the same time?" Pause. "No, I didn't think so." She plunked herself down at her desk and opened her briefcase. "If you want to relax, go relax, I'm sure you have a hell of a lot less burdens than I do."

Caleb's taut jaw loosened. "Listen, I know-"

"Please. Don't say you know how I feel, because you don't." Her amber eyes hit him heatedly. "You are not the one who has to contend with involuntary bodily functions 24/7, sore ankles, sore back, and carrying thirty-five-plus pounds with you. You do not have to endure it's-such-a-shame-you're-pregnant looks from the younger, prettier clerks; or the women-should-be-at-home-taking-care-of-babies looks." By this time her face was flushed and her heart was racing with anger.

He was silent for a moment. "All right," he uttered calmly.

Judy exhaled heavily. "Just… Just let me finish this, Caleb." She opened a manila folder.

Caleb nodded and quietly left the room.

xx

She didn't get much work done as she'd intended. Judy's lashing out at Caleb distracted her to the point of a headache. The red-head was usually more even-tempered, and rarely had such a disagreement with her husband; never raising her voice, never using such a contemptuous tone as she had a little over an hour ago.

Judy sighed heavily and rubbed her eyes. There was no point in trying to get work done, it wasn't happening, at least not tonight. Abandoning her folders she shut off her desk lamp and headed upstairs. Caleb wasn't there. Dejected, she readied herself for bed. Washed her face, brushed her teeth, combed out her hair, traded her day clothes for a nightgown.

She tried to rest but when Caleb still had not come to bed an hour later, Judy donned a robe, and slippers, then she went looking for him. Judy knew whenever he was in a low mood he sat in Rowan's old apothecary. Even after a decade the empty nooks and drawers still smelled of the old herbs and spices that once occupied them. Even now it still contained a soothing aura.

Caleb heard Judy from down the hall, the soft walk of her feet in slippers. He didn't turn when she reached the open doorway, only continued to stare out the window that provided a view of the vast gardens of the Danvers estate, a garden that was blanketed in snow. For the past two hours Caleb couldn't figure out if he was concerned or angry at his wife. He could only understand her frustration at a certain point because he was not in her shoes, he was not pregnant, and Judy did not want to hear his sympathy. And he did not know what more he could say or do to assuage her worries.

"Caleb?"

Only at the sound of his name did he acknowledge her with a slight turn of his head, revealing his profile that was shadowed by the wisps of the flames in the hearth.

Judy did not think that another apology for her shortness was good enough. "Are you coming to bed?" she asked softly.

Silence. "I'll be up in a minute," he finally replied.

She nodded. Hoping he would say something more, but when he didn't Judy finally turned and headed back upstairs.

Caleb turned to the empty doorway, listening to her fading footsteps.

xx

"Ty! The star went crooked again!" Maria called from the living room.

He came out with a carafe of coffee in one hand and an empty mug in the other. Since their reconciliation, Tyler had been bending over backwards to make everything easy and stress-free for Maria. And making sure that he did nothing to give her reason to worry about him.

A couple of days after he'd taken Maria home from the hospital, they'd went Christmas tree shopping and had a good time trimming and decorating it. Well, mostly Tyler decorated and Maria pointed out where the little ornaments should go.

Maria, in her cotton nightgown, fluffy pink robe and slippers, pointed to the star atop the apex of the tree. "This star is out to get me."

Tyler chuckled. He set the carafe and mug down, got the step-stool and readjusted the star. "Good?" he asked, and when Maria nodded he descended the stool.

"Thank you." She rose on tip-toe and pecked him on the cheek.

He smiled. Returning to the kitchen he poured himself a cup of coffee and Maria a cup of tea. They sat on the couch comfortably.

"Do your parents have their travel plans made out?" Tyler asked. Christmas was in five days and her parents were arriving two days after to be here for Alexander's birth, less than three weeks away.

"Mmm-hmm," she confirmed. "Since five months ago. My mom is bringing so much stuff at least one thing is bound to get lost at baggage claim."

Tyler chuckled. "I guess that's where you get your suitcase enthusiasm from," he said, and received a jab in the side from his wife. "You can't deny it, sweetie. How many suitcases did you bring on our honeymoon?"

Maria 'hmmphed' and ignored him.

"And then we came back with twice as much luggage than we'd left with," he continued, enjoying the ribbing.

"Oh," she puffed. "We had our own jet! It wasn't as if we were putting anyone out."

"I love it when you get indignant like that."

She suppressed a grin. "It's too early for that, Tyler Bear."

Tyler conceded this good-naturedly and they fell back into a comfortable silence. He remembered the few phone calls he had to make to various hospitals as he was trying to relocate his time of residency to a different site. Transferring was never an easy thing.

"Ty?" Maria said after a while.

"Hmm?"

"Um…" She peeked up at him hesitantly. "I wasn't snooping…but I noticed a missed call on your phone from one of your professors. He's retired isn't he?"

He nodded. "Professor Millner? Yeah, he is."

"You're trying to get references so you can work at a different hospital?"

"I think that would be best." Quiet. "Don't you?"

Maria contemplated silently in the space of time it took her to take a sip of her tea. Did she want Tyler forever away from Serena? Yes. She didn't ever want Serena to so much as glance at Tyler ever again. Although she harbored no more anger towards her husband, Serena was a different matter even if Maria didn't spend every waking hour thinking of the interloper. But each time when Tyler left to go to work, Maria knew that Serena was likely to be there as well. And when Tyler told her he was going to transfer to another residency, she'd initially had no qualms about it. Now…

"I thought it would be," she began carefully. "But it would be selfish of me to support this when I know you like where you are now."

He shook his head. "Not if it makes you uncomfortable, Maria."

"I can get past that. I just…" She pursed her lips. "So many of your patients would be deprived if you left, Tyler. The ones that come to that hospital because you're there. The ones that listen to you because they value and respect your opinion, the ones who feel safe and taken care of because they can see that you really care about what is happening to them." Maria looked at him deeply. "I couldn't take you away from them."

"You wouldn't be," he assured her quickly.

Maria frowned in disagreement. "You earned the place where they hold you, and you deserve it." Tyler was about to reply, but she went on, "Kevin," she said the boy's name who was still in a coma. "Jesus." The little boy who had a year at the most to live, the chemotherapy treatment that had failed. "They need you. So many others need you, Ty."

He didn't know what to say. Then, "But what about…?" The name hung unspoken between them, and Maria's face hardened in determination.

"We won't let her actions deter where we're going." Maria squeezed his hand.

Tyler kissed her. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"I could say the same about you," she replied and returned the kiss.

xx

Since his mother was in town Caleb found himself inviting her to lunch. He had some things to ask her that only she, having been married to a Son could answer. The previous night he'd spent a couple of hours in the sanctum sanctorum just thinking about the argument with Judy. It abounded in his mind so much that he hadn't even leaned over to give her a kiss goodnight when he'd finally gone up to bed. And this morning had been quiet and strained as they'd readied for work.

Contention between them was such a rarity, and this was the most troublesome dialogue he and Judy had exchanged since they'd married. For the first time he had no words to placate his conflicted wife or words to ease the tension between them.

"Sweetheart," Evelyn Danvers' voice interrupted his silent musings.

"Mother," Caleb smiled and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek. He stood up and pulled her chair out for her.

"Thank you," she said. It was always nice to see her son smile at her, especially when she knew that she had once been the cause of many of his frowns.

A waiter immediately attended them. "Would you care to see the wine list?"

"No, thank you," Evelyn answered. "Iced-tea, please."

"I'll have the same," Caleb said.

Already the staff was bending over backwards to accommodate the Evelyn Danvers. Just last month her picture had been in a major cuisine magazine and it wouldn't do to give her anything negative to say about this restaurant.

Mother and son talked of casual things as they ordered and waited for their food to be served. Finally, Caleb asked the obligatory question, "How's Horatio?" He didn't look his mother in the eyes, just merely stuck his fork in his steak and took a bite.

Evelyn gave him a small smile. "He's very well, and very much looking forward to the birth of your first son and my second grandson." She took a sip of her tea. "Speaking of which, have you and Judy chosen a name yet?"

Caleb tried to keep an upbeat face, but by the change on his mom's he knew she'd seen his effort. "We uh…haven't yet. We're narrowing down the list though." Once again he tried to grin affably.

She put down her eating utensil and asked softly, "What's wrong, sweetheart? I could tell something was bothering you the moment I walked in the door." At this, Caleb did chuckle. "Are things all right with you and Judy?" Evelyn adored her daughter-in-law and silently thanked her for bringing her only son the joy she had.

"Were you happy when you found out you were pregnant with me?" Caleb asked.

Evelyn's mouth slit open in surprise. "Of course I was." As if her son should think anything different.

He nodded. "At first. What about later? When it started to interfere with your work and daily life?"

Her brow creased. "What do you mean?"

Caleb exhaled. "I thought Judy was happy about having a son. Now…" He confided to his mother how Judy felt and the thoughts his wife had expressed, how it confused and troubled him, how he did not know how to help.

"Oh, sweetheart," she soothed, reaching over to clasp his hand.

"Was it a burden for you?" he asked again.

"Rearranging your life for a child is always difficult, even when you've been planning for it. Frustrations arise, but no, I never felt burdened." And it wasn't, and once Caleb had been born, the joy of holding him washed away any temporary irritations she'd had leading up to the event. Evelyn told Caleb as much.

"But you had to put your career on hold, work less."

"That's to be expected. And after I was ready to leave you alone for brief periods, I went back to work little by little. Sometimes I even took you with me."

He lips curved wryly. "Not too many people would appreciate having a baby at a law firm."

Evelyn chuckled. "Your father took you all the time."

The brief spell of mirth settled. Caleb went on, "She's not happy. I know Judy will make a wonderful mother, but I never wanted her to be forced to be one." It was just another non-negotiable when you married a Son of Ipswich.

"Judy knew all the ins-and-outs before she married you. I know she is not regretting it."

Caleb's eyes expressed doubt.

xx

It was beginning to snow a little harder as Judy and Millicent ate their meal at a small restaurant. The red-head was beginning to feel pressure in her lower back, realizing then that she'd forgotten to put the massage oil on before she'd gone to bed. Caleb usually did that for her. Judy regretted her words and tone from the previous night but felt another apology was insufficient. She knew she'd hurt her husband's feelings when all he was trying to do was support her. And how did she thank him, by jumping down his throat.

"And I was telling him tha-" Millicent stopped mid-sentence, realizing that her friend was not listening to her. "Hello!"

Judy's eyelids fluttered as she came back to attention. "Yeah, I'm listening."

Millicent scrutinized her. "What's the problem?"

She moved her salad around the plate with her fork. "I snapped at Caleb last night."

"Hmm," she replied after a moment. "What did he do?"

"Nothing," Judy insisted, needing to vent. "That's the point. He's been nothing but supportive and I keep biting his head off."

"About what? The pregnancy?" She rolled her eyes. "He is not the one who has to rearrange his entire life. You are. What does he know? He's a man, and has no idea what you're going through."

Neither do you, Judy thought. "His life is going to change too."

"Sure," Millicent responded sarcastically. "He gets you pregnant at the worst time. You say he won't expect you to put your career on hold, but already you're sacrificing it to accommodate his child."

"Our child," Judy said.

Millicent nodded, not really conceding the point. "He knew this was going to happen. If he really cared about your profession, and all the work you've done to get where you are, he would have waited."

Too late, Judy was realizing that confiding in Millicent about this was the wrong idea. They'd been best friends since junior high, united in their outcast status. They'd been roommates at Spenser all four years of high school, practically inseparable until Judy had started dating Caleb senior year. Not that Judy had abandoned her friend, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get Millicent to bond with Caleb on any level.

"He does care about the work I've done," Judy defended him. "Caleb's done everything possible to make sure-"

"You're comfortable while you're not working?" Millicent interrupted.

Judy's jaw clenched. "You know what? This was a mistake. Let's not talk about this."

"About what? Come on, Judy. You don't have to deny how you feel. I know it's too late to do anything about the pregnancy-"

"Do anything about the pregnancy?" she echoed. "What are you saying?"

Millicent sighed tolerantly, as if explaining something to a child. "I didn't mean anything by it. Your love for Caleb has always made you put you second, and he should have considered alternatives-"

"Are you implying what I think you're implying?" Her amber eyes had become slits, her cheeks were flushed. She leaned in, lowering her voice, "Are you actually suggesting that I should have…" Judy could hardly say the word.

"Since when are you not pro-choice?" Millicent got her dander up at any implications of the impediment of women's rights.

"I am," Judy shot back. "But to... This is my child with Caleb. I would never."

"You just said you didn't want the baby."

"I never said that! I never once said that. I've never not wanted a family with Caleb." She felt like crying. Having her words skewed by her closest friend was turning her inside out. Did Caleb get this vibe from her? That she didn't want the baby? Their baby? That could not have been further from the truth. She was just…scared. Letting her stupid insecurities get the best of her. Allowing the looks from her co-workers linger in her mind.

"I remember sophomore year you said you didn't want kids because of what happened to your brother," Millicent said.

Judy gasped sharply, stunned to silence that Millicent would use that against her. Her brother, Wesley, had been abducted and killed when she was a little girl; he had been a few years older. It had nearly destroyed her family. The summer before she began dating Caleb, Wesley's killer revealed where he'd buried some of the bodies, and after scientific confirmation that one was her brother's, Judy's family had finally been able to bury him.

"I was sixteen when I said that," she responded smoothly.

"Well." Millicent shrugged.

"I cannot believe you," Judy uttered.

"What?"

"Why can't you just be supportive? Why do you have to criticize Caleb at every turn and distort my being pregnant into something negative? Or my love for Caleb?"

"I do not."

"Yes, you do, Millicent. God, no matter how hard Caleb has tried you have never met him halfway. And no matter what I say I can't make you understand that Caleb is good for me." Already she felt as if she were wasting her breath, especially if Millicent's set face was anything to go by. "Never mind. I'm leaving." She dug out some bills from her purse and rose as gracefully as possible considering her condition.

"Where are you going?" Millicent demanded.

"Home." But first, she was going to go back to work and give them notice that she would be taking her maternity leave within a week. She was due at the end of January, after all.

xx

Reid was flipping through the five-hundred-plus page textbook he'd bought for his business class. He had signed up for classes to be a part time student and wasn't exactly looking forward to it. When he'd graduated from college five years ago he had thought it'd be the last schooling he'd ever have.

"Reid, staring at the book isn't going to make the pages disappear," Rowan said as nursed Luke.

Six different texts were piled on their bed, all for his academic pursuits.

"I really shouldn't be leaving you and Luke so soon," he said.

Rowan smiled. "I know you mean that, but you also just don't want to go back to school."

He abandoned the books and moved so he was sitting up against the headboard next to Rowan. He put his arm around her and the other hand went to gently grasp his son's soft small hand. Wide blue eyes, identical to his father's, gazed back at him as Luke suckled.

"Besides, I'll be going back to work soon, too. Part-time." Rowan was a little iffy about it, but she knew she needed to get back into the swing of things. This weekend would be practice. It would be the first time either of them would be separated from Luke overnight.

Reid now had a zero-sperm count, so it was safe for them to resume their sexual life. It'd been almost six months since they'd last made love. Luke and the three animals would be staying with her mother and Horatio for Friday night and all of Saturday to give Rowan and Reid some time alone, uninterrupted.

"I see where your mind's going Mrs. Garwin," Reid smirked.

"Hmmph…" She eyed him. "Thinking about what I should wear."

He chuckled. "There are some things leftover from our honeymoon."

"'Some' being the operative word. Since you ruined most of the ensembles." They both laughed.

"Well, it'll all be coming off so…we'll both just wear nothing." Just as he was about to lean in for a kiss, Luke latched off his mother's nipple and fussed.

"Guess it's my turn," Reid said, taking his son for burping. "You know, usually our interruptions are of the four-legged variety." At that, the animals, who were on their beds in the corner of the room, perked up. "No, you guys just stay there."

Rowan situated her clothing and said, "It's lunch time." They all went downstairs. "Oh, yeah, Saul," – the go-between that people contacted for a Whitelighter – "got a call about someone being attacked by a vampire. I need to check out the area to make sure there's also nothing witchy going on."

"A vampire?" Reid was less than pleased. "Can't Rafael look into it?"

"Hunter's going with me. My psychometry is needed, that's all." She assured him with a smile. "It'll take fifteen minutes, tops."

xx

Judy had gone home early after returning to work following her lunch with Millicent. Her less than pleasant lunch. She didn't know how she and her oldest friend were going to bridge this gap. Judy knew she couldn't have this sort of negative influence around her child. Millie needed to accept Caleb once and for all or… Cutting her out of her life completely would be difficult, but Judy could not deal with her friend's prejudices anymore.

Alone in the mansion, Judy traded her maternity work-clothes for a more comfortable outfit; a light green cashmere sweater with blue jeans. For once, she didn't wrinkle her brow in displeasure at the fact that the waistband of her jeans was elastic. She was pregnant, not fat, she told herself. And Caleb still thought she was beautiful.

She went downstairs and into the study. Organizing the files on her desk took little time before she sat down to work on them. More of it would have to be taken home now. Spending too much time at the office the closer her due date approached wasn't the best idea.

Right now the case on her plate had to do with a shop-lifting juvenile. Apparently, the young girl in question had been stealing food to take home to her family. The shop-owner caught her and yelled at her from behind the counter. In his statement, he claimed that he saw her reach for her pockets which was why he took out his handgun and shot at her in defense.

It was all very convoluted.

A couple of hours later, she heard the front door open. Judy closed her files and got up. She met Caleb in the foyer, but didn't approach him.

"Hi," she smiled tentatively.

"Hi," he replied, equally so. Caleb wanted to ask her if she was feeling all right because she had come home early, but…

"We need to talk," Judy said.

Caleb nodded.

Standing in front of him now, she told him, "I love you."

He sighed, relieved. "I love you, too, Judy."

She took him by the hand and led him to the living room so they could sit down.

xx

Christmas came, and parties and dinners were attended. Many gifts were exchanged amongst the Families, Pinkie and Laurie, Hunter, Gabriel, Michael, etc. Photographs were snapped, video footage was taken; everything captured in time.

xx

"Tyler! My parents are here!" Maria yelled.

He went downstairs where his wife was practically bobbing up and down on her feet with excitement. Mr. and Mrs. Velasquez had insisted that they not be picked up from the airport. Even though Christmas was now passed, the airport was still congested with traffic. After a lot of back and forth, Tyler agreed, so he sent a limo for them, which was now parked in their driveway.

"Stay here," he told his wife.

He went outside, snowflakes hitting him. "Hey, guys." He got smiles and hugs from his in-laws and helped them carry in their luggage. It took three trips. The limo driver had already been taken care of so once the last package was in the house that was it.

"Oh, my goodness!" Mrs. Velasquez exclaimed, rubbing her daughter's belly.

"You're huge, sweetheart," her dad said, grinning.

"Carlos!" Dorothea slapped his arm.

"I meant it in a good way," he defended.

Revelry ensued for the duration of the visit. Dinners were attended and more gifts were exchanged. New Years came around, bringing on another party. Resolutions were made. And on January 2, late afternoon, Maria went into labor.

With Tyler by her side, the birthing took her into the early morning of January 3, when Alexander Ian Simms was born.

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I hope some people are still with me, and thank you for those who haven't. :)

I hope to kick this up a notch in consideration to the plot. There are only two more births left, and a few other things to be wrapped up.

I know that Rowan and Reid part seemed out of place, but there was a point to the 'vampire' thing she mentioned.

Anywho, thanks for reading and/or reviewing. Much appreciated!