Chapter 2

Where Have You Gone?

The magic only lasted for so long before awkwardness swooped in and killed the moment. When her heart stopped beating so painfully fast and she could smell through her stuffed, sniffling nose again, she realized how uncomfortably bizarre her actions were. Here Sakura stood with her sensei's right hand forcefully jammed against her mouth. The sensei himself was awkwardly hunched over her in a one-armed hug, scared to move and startle the swollen-eyed girl.

Sakura held her breath and didn't dare budge. Various excuses flashed through her mind, but they all seemed laughable and desperate. Instead, she opted for the most efficient method; ignorance. Just as suddenly as she reached out for his hand, she dropped it and hastily looked away, edging away from him discreetly. She tried to clear her throat, but it came out as a strangled gurgle instead. God, why was she born such a weird child?

Kakashi watched pitifully as Sakura tried to internally push all those mushy feelings back into her ribcage. To ease away her embarrassment, he tried to change the subject and forget the whole ordeal. The...nail prints on his hands weren't really helping though.

"We can take a short break here or continue on. It'll be about maybe 3 or 4 more hours until the sun-"

"Where's Naruto and Sai?" Sakura asked suddenly, in a quiet voice. It was killing her to know ever since only Kakashi showed up at the door. Both of them knew the question really meant to ask if they were still alive.

He gave her a gentle glance and then craned his neck skywards, watching the tallest tips of the trees sway lazily against the wind. Sakura kept her arms across her chest as if she could physically stop his answer from hurting her.

"I don't know."

She turned her head the other way. A beetle was flipped onto its back, it's legs flailing helplessly in the air.

"I brought my fight out to the roof. When I got back to our room, they were both gone."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" she said with strain.

He ran a hand through his hair and settled his back against a nearby tree. He slid down and rested his elbows against his knees, his feet loosely planted onto the ground.

"The aftermath of a war isn't always pretty. War debts are incredibly high and the number of casualties are stifling. Even though we were able to stand united for a while', the allied shinobi force was sure to fall apart as soon as the war was over."

"I know all that," Sakura said with frustration, "I'm living through this 'aftermath' too, remember?"

"As I was saying," Kakashi continued unfazed, "with all of them dead, there's no one to push all the anguish and blame to. Since ties between the hidden villages were already strained and roughly patched in time for war, it was easy for them to break and old suspicions to arise again. The phase after a war is as tense as the beginning. The first few weeks of a war is like the eye of a storm."

"Your point? I don't give a damn about your life philosophies; I just want to know what we are doing here."

He sighed. Again. He seemed to be doing that more and more. It made him sound incredibly old.

"I was getting there. Be a little more patient."

Sakura scowled. Kakashi shook his head.

"As I was saying, people are paranoid and desperate. Some villages are relighting old feuds and others initiating new ones. If the enemy is dead, then the only people left to turn against are your allies. Konoha too-"

"I'm going to die and get reincarnated 100 times before you finish..." Sakura grumbled.

"Konoha too," Kakashi emphasized, ignoring her remark, "is like that. Even Tsunade-sama can't stop mob mentality. People need something to blame to help them sleep at night...and I think you have a pretty good idea what or who is the scapegoat."

She flinched. It was cruel, but Kakashi had to say it. They were suppose to be professionals, after all. Sakura didn't realize that though.

"Bullshit. Is this your twisted way of trying to talk to me? By secretly eluding to him and hoping I fall for the bait like some pathetic fool? Why the fuck don't you just say his name?" Sakura said in a low voice. It was laced with venom and poorly contained contempt.

Kakashi saw it coming, but for a while, he had forgotten all about the rhythmic ticking of the timer.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

He looked up at the quivering kuniochi from his position against a tree. She gripped her fists a little harder. Flustered, she sank to the ground and dug her fingers into the soil. They were no longer talking about the mission.

"You don't get it and I thought we agreed not to bring it up..." she murmured, shaking her head. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

Kakashi didn't say anything. He tried to talk to her before at the motel, but that just ended up with a door slammed in his face. Now that they were finally getting somewhere, he wasn't sure he even wanted to continue.

"And you," she started again, accusingly, "How could you do that? I needed someone, I needed...I..."

Bits of her impassive composure flaked off. She bit her lip and looked at her caked, grubby fingernails; they were lined with dirt. Kakashi kept his steady gaze fixed on her.

"How could you turn a blind eye on me?" Sakura whimpered at last.

There it was.

Sakura hated herself for being this weak though. She was always the lovestruck, flimsy girl with pink hair that lived in the shadow of her notorious teammates and teacher. She had to work herself to the bone, absorbing as much as Tsunade was willing to teach her so that maybe she could stand as tall as the rest of her team. She hardened her fists and kept herself proud and sturdy. Yet she was still weak. Sensitive. Overly humane.

"What was I suppose to do?" He answered softly. "If you were 12 years old then I could've lent you my shoulder. But you're 18 now, Sakura. You can't rest your weight on others."

He paused.

"You get too attached to easily. Take him, for example. Look what it led to."

Kakashi raised his left hand, the one without the Sakura-inflicted prints. It was roughly bandaged with white strands but muddy, cardinal blood still bled through it. She closed her eyes and the image popped up again, as unwilling as Sakura was.

Naruto growled and Kakashi stepped in front of her, thin streams of blood running down his arm. His fist was closed around a pale hand containing a kunai that jutted out from the back of Kakashi's hand. A second later and that weapon would have landed in her chest. He turned around for a split second and mouthed something before a hand with the same pale skin tone found it's way around Kakashi's throat. Sakura snapped out of it and rushed forward with her fists.

"Thanks for blocking that blow for me, by the way, if that's what you were looking for," she said sarcastically.

"That's not my point, Sakura," Kakashi said, irritated. "Do you think he hesitated to attack you?"

He leapt back, just outside of Sakura's reach. To see him like that broke her apart. It was like a knife carving agonizingly deep slits into her chest. He flitted around the room, fighting savagely. She couldn't even approach him after what happened between the two of them. But he could. And he did. He knew he was her weakness and didn't waste time by finding his place back beside her again. His eyes, crimson and cold, narrowed onto her, the target. Sakura was told time and time again to not look in his eyes. God knows what the sharingan can do, but she couldn't help it.

"Well, he didn't," Kakashi carried on before Sakura could inject with an excuse for him, "He tried to kill you twice and both times I had to save you."

"You pushed me out of a window," she lamely accused him.

"Because Sasuke was about to stab you," he shot back, "...again. I didn't want you to die and all, but I wasn't going to put my hand through the same misery twice. Besides, you were a sitting duck back there at the motel; you were doing more harm than good."

She huffed and scrunched up her nose at him. One thing kept spilling onto the next. Sakura couldn't even remember what they were arguing about in the beginning. She was frustrated with him, but on some level, he was right. Just for once.

"I'm tired," she said suddenly, immediately regretting sounding so helpless and childlike.

The sun had barely gone down and they still had to find Sai and Naruto. Kakashi finally lifted himself off the ground and patted down his pants. He placed a hand on his waist and then let it fall into a fist by his side.

"We've got to go a little farther first. Don't want to waste daylight now, do we?"

Just mentioning Sasuke hurt Sakura. Kakashi really couldn't bring himself to tell her their objective. He'd have to think of another way.

Sakura wondered if the cackles of a fire were actually screams from the charred wood.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked gently, and pointed to her roasted fish-on-a-stick with a twig.

She shrugged and resumed observing the fireplace.

He knew that at some point, he had to finish telling her about their mission, but the night seemed so warm that he wanted to stretch out this moment for as long as he could. He'll tell her. Eventually. Instead, he surveyed their makeshift campsite, looking for anything to trigger a conversation.

They were situated in an open space big enough to fit queen sized bed. It was hidden in a grove of trees which was part of the same forest they have traveled in for the better part of the day. There was also a stream near by that was close enough to be heard, but not seen. Kakashi and Sakura sat side by side (though Sakura didn't bother disguising the fact that she leaned as far away as she could from him) in front of a small fire surrounded by stones. Nature, however soothing, didn't seem to excite Sakura very much, so he continued to sought for anything else to ramble about. His eyes landed on the bulge in her pocket.

"What's that?" he asked and nodded his chin towards it.

She looked up at him and reached into her pocket. Her eyes widened slightly and a new wave of dolefulness rolled off her. She pulled out her hand and held it out to him. It was a thin, unspoilt brush with a simple carving of leaves on the side.

"It was for Sai," she muttered.

Oh great...very smooth Kakashi.

"I also got a carton of milk for Naruto too...but I think I left it at the granny's place," she added.

Kakashi's eyebrows drew together slightly and asked, "Who were they, by the way? I didn't question you at first because they let you spend the night, but how did you end up with them?"

Sakura finally caught his eyes again, but the anguish was replaced by mild curiosity.

"How did you know I was there since the evening?" she inquired, ignoring his question.

He blinked and grinned, much to Sakura's detest. That could only mean one thing.

"Well, you see, other than gaining the sharingan from Obito, I got another exemplary, secret jutsu that I've never told anyone about," he said eerily.

"You can read minds," Sakura said with her eyebrows raised and voice heavy with sarcasm.

"Why Sakura, I didn't know you could too," he exclaimed with awe.

She scoffed at him, but had to bite her lip to hold back a giggle. He smiled, relieved to be able to chip off some ice.

"Did you find your appetite yet?" he asked, hinting at her fish again, "Don't tell me you are trying to diet as well. Girls these days."

She rolled her eyes at him, stuck the brush back in her pocket and grabbed the stick her fire-licked fish was skewered on. Sakura tore off a chunk of meat with her teeth and chewed loudly, eyeballing Kakashi with mock malice. He laughed softly and ruffled her hair with his bandaged hand, an old habit he had a difficult time breaking. For the second time in one day, she reached out for his hand again, the other one this time, and held it in both of hers, her fish abandoned. Before Kakashi could voice his puzzlement, a soft green glow emitted from her fingers.

"Thanks," he said, after a while.

"I'm not doing it for you. I just don't want you to get any blood in my hair," Sakura replied with her eyes fixed on his hand. "Well, that should do it."

With her fish finished, she got up and walked over to her pile of stolen bread rolls and clothes. She realized she still donned on her leggings and an old t-shirt Riyu gave her when she took her sweater to wash. Picking out the towel and said sweater, Sakura raised her other hand in a slight wave, "I'm taking a dip in the stream. Get less than 15 feet near me and I'll dig out those precious eyes of yours in your sleep."

Kakashi shuddered. When did she get such a foul mouth? When she disappeared into the shelter of the growth, he let his breath out and shoulders to sag. He tried not to wince.

Her hair hugged her face in thin, soaked strands, clinging on to every curve and arc. The travel size towel she looted didn't help dry her off much; her skin was still humid and the sweater that hugged her body felt sticky, in a clean sort of way. The towel was already sopping by the time she finished (somewhat) drying herself so her hair still sat on top of her head in a dripping mess. Sakura plopped herself back to her original place by the fire and hoped the warmth from the flame could dry her as well. Kakashi was awfully uncomfortable beside her, she could tell, but there was still a stupid, half-smile plastered on his face.

"What's your problem?"

"Oh, it's nothing, don't worry about me," he said cheerily, waving her off.

She squinted at him, eyes analyzing his posture. His shoulders were hunched over and his head was dipped. He had his elbows resting on thighs, fingers pressed against his waist, as if he had cramps or something. Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"Move your arms," she said suddenly, trying to wrench away his biceps.

Kakashi sighed quietly, disappointed his cover was already blown. Sakura started to claw at his jounin vest, trying to unzip it.

"You aren't shy now, are you?" He voiced blithely. Sakura wasn't going to be happy with what she'll find.

She simply grunted when she won the battle between her and his stubborn zipper. With the olive vest out of the way, she gingerly pressed her fingers against his abdomen. It came back stained scarlet.

"Damn it, Kakashi, why are you always like this," she growled with a hint of apprehension, "What if you got an infection? What happens if it's infested with poison and you croak, leaving me alone to complete a mission that I know nothing about?"

He smiled as he watched his student fuss and fret over his wound.

"Take it off," she demanded, indicating his tunic, "and what ever other layers you've got. Carefully too, because if you've started to scab, it'll stick your shirt to your wound."

He obeyed Sakura and discarded his shirts to reveal a grotesque gash on his stomach, broad shoulders, lean muscles...and the fact that his still-attached mask is a piece that stretches all the way to where his neck meets his collarbones.

"What the hell?" she said, momentarily forgetting about his life threatening injury, "what in God's name is wrong with you?"

"I am a very self-conscious man," he replied evenly.

"More like weird," Sakura scorned, "There's no point in hiding it."

They suddenly fell into a silence.

"It was dark that time. I'm pretty sure you didn't see much."

She tried to hide her disappointment by getting up and turning away. She didn't know if she found his lack of an apology or his unwillingness to show his face to her more disheartening.

When she came back, she had the damp towel in hand. She crouched down and leaned over his wound, her wet tresses falling around her face. Carefully, she dabbed at his gash, clearing away the excess blood. Kakashi reached over and drew up her hair in his hand. He gently rallied up the stray, escaped strands out of her face. Sakura froze for a second and continued cleaning, healing parts of it in between. The moon was already proudly perched in the evening sky when she was done. The fire was burnt down to timid sparks and glowing embers.

"Thanks...again."

"You should have told me." You scared me shitless, damn it

"I didn't want to trouble you."

"It's what I do." What if you fucking died on me

"You already have so much on your plate. A kid like you shouldn't be so troubled."

That hurt much more than Sakura would have thought. She wondered what he meant by those words. That if he had some masked message he was trying to get across to her like she was. Or if she wasjust a kid who over analyzed everything.

"I'm not a kid, Kakashi."

She got up and walked to a considerably more dry area. She patted her dirty t-shirt and settled on it, hugging her knees to her chest, chin perched on her arms. She hated how Kakashi kept opening and closing up on her. She hated how he let her take a few steps closer and then shut her out again.

Kakashi broke the silence. "I'm going to take a rinse in the water too, I'll be back soon."

Sakura didn't turn around to see him off, but she heard his shuffling getting closer. His scent wafted around her as he placed one of his layers around her shoulders. It was still warm.

"You'll catch a cold."

Sakura turned around to see his silhouette drift farther away from her. His Hitai-ate and vest were ditched by the dead fireplace. All he had on were his usual pants tucked into the white bindings around his ankles and a fitted short sleeve. For a moment, Kakashi seemed touchable. That intimidating air of a teacher wasn't as heavily hung around him.

She still hadn't fallen asleep when she heard Kakashi lie down a few feet away from her. She didn't dare open her eyes though she didn't know why. After his breathing became more and more even, Sakura braved a small glance. He was on his side, facing towards her. Kakashi used his jounin vest as a makeshift pillow and had his arms sprawled out in front of him. She smiled to herself as she marvelled on how sleep seemed to lift ten years off his apparent age. She loved how even after years of memorizing his face, she continued to learn something new about him. She loved that about him. Somewhere far off in her mind, warning bells tingled, but she was far too tired to pay attention to them. Sakura shuffled closer unconsciously. It was too hard to stay mad at him.