Chapter 3: Moving On
1994 May.
"Expecto Patronum!" Tonks cried out, holding her wand steady. She thought a memory of finally able to disarm Moody during one of their training but the effect to the atmosphere the dementors caused has distracted her. She didn't feel the familiar shudder in her wand as there normally would be if she'd produce a patronus successfully.
Tonks tensed in anticipation. A failure in producing a patronus, by thinking of a strong happy memory, tended to attract Dementors…
She cried out again, feeling her hope, happiness and energy getting forcefully suck from her by a dementor but she kept a firm grip on her wand.
Tonks didn't know it was considered lucky or unlucky to have been blind folded while being trapped in a room with no less than 20 dementors who were deprived off the souls of the prisoners at Azkaban, they were just so hungry.
Tonks crumpled to the floor, feeling another glide down and sucked the happiness from her. She wondered idly how long it would take for them to finally kill her as she lay on the floor, unable to find the will to stand.
She panted, curling up on the floor as the dementors took their turn at her; each time, her scream of agony filled the room, sucking everything she had, her parents smiling faces, her friends thumping her on the back after she'd finally stood up for herself again, heck even her beloved mentor's satisfied expression as he told her she could finally go on to take the test to be an Auror.
As if on cue, one of the dementors glided down, sucking at her and its black bony hands seemed to have caught on her blindfold (which was the muggle method of a cloth concealing the eyes) and promptly tore it off her. Its long nail raked down the front of her face as the cloth fell to the floor.
She didn't know if the scratch drew blood but it was nothing. She shuddered, witnessing the dark eerie room crowded with wandering dementors. It was the most dreaded sight in her life. Her stomach took a plunge as another swooped down and sucked.
Tonks gritted her teeth and struggle to stand. She felt a chill and a heavy shove as a dementor grabbed her around the neck to immobilize her before it started sucking it's fill out of her.
It was like watching her life flash pass her very eyes:
"You're ready."
"We'll all be rooting for you, Dora."
"You'll be great Nymphadora; no doubt will be the best Auror in history, Sirius-ly."
No, she realized. She'd work too hard for just a few dementors to stop her. Tonks cried out in frustration, thrusting her wand out at the dementor. Her wand tip flared once and forced the dementor holding her to release its grip. She fell to the floor.
Glaring angrily at the dementors, she pointed her wand out at them, swiftly picking out another memory, "Expecto Patronum!"
This time, she watched as white fog dissipated from the tip of her wand, forming a ferret. The beautiful animal drove the dementors away, following close instructions by her through her wand as it defended her against the multitude of the dementors' attacks.
She managed to force the dementors to the far corner of the room. Her patronus, seemingly a relatively small ferret, stayed close by despite Tonks's awareness that this terrifying ordeal was over. Her head thundered with the wounds the dementors had caused her but one happy memory kept her sane, the one that saved her. The one that happened about 9 months ago: Watching the production of posters that has her cousin's face all over them. Her witty cousin, Sirius, had somehow escaped from Azkaban. He's free! She couldn't stop that thought. Despite the endless interrogations she'd had because of her relationship with him; that was her happiest memory, the one she'd chosen
As the door flew open and the room flooded with Aurors who were overseeing her test as her examiners, her patronus vanished as she was distracted for a moment. Tonks stood staring into space till she felt a firm grip on her shoulder.
She tightened her hold on her wand, turning to meet the face of her mentor. Mad-Eye Moody had both eyes trained on her as she stared back. She was vaguely aware of the examiners muttering over their clipboards as they concluded their verdict about her performance for this task.
"Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks," A senior Auror, whose name she does not know, read out from the clipboard clearly, "You have completed your final test of determination and resilience. You'll be informed on a later date about the results of your tests." With that, the three examiners left the room.
She felt Mad-Eye guide her out of the room by the hand on her shoulder. Tonks was numbed even as Moody side-apparated her to a different location. As they walked, Tonks realized they were coming to his house. She'd always remember the neglected front garden, the broken fence, the loose gate and the house with its old paint almost completely faded. All these could've been easily treated with a wave of a wand but old Mad-Eye Moody positively thought doing that would be a waste of time. No fence gate will stop Lord Voldemort; he'd said when Tonks asked.
"Come on, get you some tea." Moody led the way into the house. Still a little numbed, Tonks followed her old Mentor, sitting down on the familiar couch which she'd always sat on whenever Mad-Eye brought her to his house for some training or lecture, "here." He grunted as she was handed a cup of warm tea.
"Thanks," Tonks muttered.
"M'surprised you remember how to talk after that," Mad-Eye said gruffly. Tonks chuckled bitterly, the dreaded feeling still forming a pit in her stomach from the dementors. She brought herself back to the conversation, amused after knowing that this was as much humor as she'd get out of Mad-Eye Moody.
"I could never forget how to do that." Tonks replied, promptly staring intensely at the wooden floor.
"Or having the cheek." Mad-Eye added.
Tonks looked up to meet his mentor's normal eye; the speed his magical eye made her sick. She forced a smile; quite sure it turned out as a grimace, and was surprised when she was returned with a smirk from him.
"Well done back in there, with the dementors." Mad-Eye drank his tea, "definitely a portrayal of resilience and determination." Tonks didn't miss the pride in his voice as he spoke. His normal eye softened just very slightly from his glare, "But I supposed you always had it in you."
Tonks offered a small crook smile, "you were there too y'know?" She spoke softly, staring into the swirls of her tea, "In my head of course." She swallowed, "Might be the first time ever but you were encouraging me, you told me I was ready for this." She looked up to meet his eye again. Tonks felt weary and not in the mood to tease Mad-Eye like she'd intended to do before the test.
"You come down from a long line of powerful Dark Witches and Wizards," Moody started, as Tonks listened, sipping her tea, "The ministry of course had their fair share of arguments about having someone with 'black' blood into the ministry to take up the training to be an Auror. But a metamorphagus however shunned they are in the wizarding society because of their…" Mad-Eye glanced up at her hair, "quirks," he finished with a smirk, "they still proves to be invaluable to the ministry and to have such power under their command, we all know Cornelius Fudge could never turn his back on it."
Tonks listened, absorbing every word Moody said. For all she knew, he could be revealing to her some top secret information at any turn.
"So here you are, but there was a condition. Someone would have to be there, to make sure." Moody looked at her, now, with contemplative eyes.
"You," Tonks finished what she could tell he wanted to say. Then she realized it. There was a reason for her to be attached to the most efficient and experience Auror in the whole department for a reason, she'd always known. But now she knows. Moody wasn't there just to teach her, he was there to guide her and to keep an eye on her every move in case she is an agent of Voldemort, sent to spy on the ministry. When that happens, Tonks knew they would count on Mad-Eye to subdue her, or maybe even kill her.
She looked up at her mentor, wondering would he really do the necessary if she'd really turned out to be Voldemort's followers, if she would to do his bidding; would Mad-Eye kill her? Would he have done so if he needed to? For the first time, Tonks wondered if her life ever meant anything to her old stubborn mentor; whom for some amusing reason has got to calling her stubborn in her past 2 years and 11 months of being under his wing.
"No," As if reading her mind, which he probably was, using legilimency. Tonks was already aware that he was an accomplished legilimens after he'd spent weeks training her on that, invading her privacy time and again. However, that didn't come up to waste. Tonks was now a considerably accomplished occlumens herself and is sometimes capable of a little legilimency. Apparently, Moody still found a way to her thoughts through her eyes, "I've already seen enough to know."
Tonks looked away, sipping her tea, "But you do see that part of them, in me." She struggled to get it out. The fact that 'Black' blood runs in her veins have been bothering her since she found that out at a young age (thanks to her curiosity, her mother's old year book from Hogwarts and a little mix and match with the face of her notorious Aunt Bellatrix on the Daily Prophet). Tonks had never doubted where her loyalty lies but she doubted her very nature; that side that yearned for power and dark magic.
"Yes," It wasn't a question but Moody answered it anyway, "Their strength is in you, it's how you use it that is important."
"Strength?" Tonks scoffed, "More than half of the people with this 'strength' ended up on the other side."
Moody was studying her carefully, both his eyes trained on her, "One of them is here. A considerably accomplished witch, probably an Auror in a few days."
Tonks chuckled, "You don't even know if I will get in," Tonks paused, hesitant, "Do you?" She probed.
Without so much as a hint, Moody leaned over to fill his cup of tea. Tonks sighed, sensing the change of subject.
"But it wasn't always entirely about the ministry. I wanted to get full mentorship of you," Moody's magical eye spun a full round around the house before getting back to her.
"You doubted me?" Tonks asked, placing her teacup on the table, ignoring it altogether.
"I've heard a lot about you from…Albus and Severus Snape."
If Tonks hadn't been sitting, she'd have doubled over at the latter, "Professor Snape?" She continued, "No wonder the training for the first month you had me was so brutal." She cringed at the memory.
"He lingered particularly about your stubborn and single minded attitude." Moody smirked, "and about the time you had downright argued with him nonetheless."
Tonks instantly remembered the night of detention which turned out to be an argument over the if-Sirius-was-an-idiot issue, "He deserved it."
"Probably." Moody mused, leaning back into his couch as he continued, "The way I hear it, you've got spunk. Just what a young Auror needs."
"So you decided to train me because I argued with Snape?" Tonks frowned, confused.
"No." Moody snapped impatiently, "Because I know you can survive this training without running off and start boot licking just to get a switch of mentors." Moody replied, a hint of amusement on his scarred face.
"Ha-ha…" Tonks said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Then she stopped short, curious all of a sudden, "Wait, who'd you know who did that?" He ignored her.
She watched, puzzled, as Moody suddenly left his seat, clonking to the shelves and retrieving a small box and cotton before returning. He handed it to her.
"For your face." Moody replied her silent question. Tonks reached up to her face and winced, remembering the feel of the claws of the dementor raking her face, "They don't normally do that." He pointed it out.
"Wow, they must really adore me." Tonks muttered, prying the lid off the box with her nails.
Moody took the box from her and after smearing the cotton with some sticky medicine, he dabbed at her cuts.
"I'm touched, sir." Tonks spoke, though not daring to move as Mad-Eye dabbed the area over her eyebrow.
He snorted, "Cut it with the 'sir', from now on, I'll be Mad-Eye, or Moody, whichever."
"Whatever you say, your royal highness," Tonks grinned, glancing up to find her old mentor glaring her, his magical eye whirling "Mad-Eye." She hurriedly corrected herself.
They sat in companionable silence as Mad-Eye finished with her cuts and gave her the whole box, muttering that she should need it more than him soon and about her taking over…
"You're retiring?" Tonks gasped.
"I'll be sitting and waiting for Fudge to make me," Mad-Eye said.
"B-but you can't!" Tonks spluttered, "The Auror department-" She wanted to say 'can't go on without you' but as painful as it was to admit it, she realized they can. It would only be she and some others who would feel the effects of Mad-Eye's departure.
"The ministry hate people who can't sit down on their buttocks and receive instructions, have been waiting for their chance for a while now since this leg," Mad-Eye grumbled, "I guess there'll always be a time for this, since I won't be idle." He clasped her shoulder as she stood to leave.
Tonks wondered what would Mad-Eye be busy about but she knew, if she were to pass and be an Auror, she'll have loads to do.
Everyone knows Harry Potter's unexpected survival has caused the death of Voldemort but with his Death Eaters in Azkaban lamenting how he'll always be back stronger than ever, certain people such as Mad-Eye Moody would never let his guard down and Tonks fully intent on doing so. After all, what have she learnt from Alastor Moody for these 3 years if she hadn't grasp the concept of Constant Vigilance.
Tonks mused as she stepped out of the anti-apparition charm around Mad-Eye's house and apparated to her parents' house.
"Mum?" Tonks called, pushing open the door to the house. She heard rushed footsteps upstairs and quickly morphed her pink hair away; replacing it with blond. That was the most subtle colour apart from her real one that Tonks is willing to put on after hours of bargaining with her mother.
Andromeda practically ran downstairs, pulling her daughter into a firm hug. They held each other for a moment before Andromeda pulled back, holding her daughter at arms length for inspection. Wrinkling her nose, she spoke, "Nymphadora, you smell like-"
"Azkaban?" Tonks cut in, feeling the dread coming back in just thinking about the dementors, "That tends to happen, when you're stuck in a room full of dementors for a bloody Auror test. And their love for me pushed them to give me, this." Tonks gestured to her cuts.
Andromeda shot her a reproachful look for her language before leading her into the kitchen, "Need some medicine on that?"
"No, Mad-Eye's got that covered." Tonks smiled.
Something sure smells good…Tonks sniffed as she sat down at the table, "where's dad?" She glanced around the empty living room.
"Visiting the Weasleys. He seems to hit it off with Arthur Weasley quite well," Andromeda replied, instructing the fire at the stoves to stop.
"The one working at the ministry?"
"One and only." Andromeda approached the table, a pan of pasta following her, "Maybe you should drop by?" She hinted in a less than subtle fashion as she conjured 2 plates.
"Mum…" Tonks sighed. Everyone knows of Charlie Weasley's return from Romania but they're even more aware of the possible relationship between her and the second oldest son of the Weasley family.
"Nymphadora, you're not young and it's about time you get someone to be with you for the rest of your life-"
"Mum…I'm only 21…and don't you think it's a little early to talk about marriage and lifelong commitment." Tonks pulled a plate to her and helped herself to the food.
"But you'd know when you meet the right guy, Dora. You can feel it so don't let anything hold you back,"
"Nothing is holding me back, I just don't have that feeling," Tonks cringed upon mentioning that sappy word.
"Dora…" Andromeda sighed, touching her daughter's hand. Tonks stopped midway from devouring the pasta, her eyes meeting her mother's.
"Alright…I'll visit Charlie, after this, since I have no where else to go..."
Andromeda brightened up at once, "Okay, I'll get ready something for you to wear."
"Mum, I don't have clothes here…" Tonks's voice trailed away as realization slipped in. She's going to make me wear one of hers…Dread filled her as she thought of her mother's array of teenager clothes, "No…" She groaned.
"Yes, Nymphadora," Andromeda said in her no-nonsense voice. Tonks scowled but was quiet, being in no mood to argue but silently, she ate as she plotted her way of escape.
As soon as Tonks finished up the last bit of her pasta, Andromeda placed her utensils down with dignity before grabbing her daughter by her arm and towed her upstairs. The metamorphagus sat broodingly on her mother's bed, wishing she could morph into a rock and stay there forever.
"Here. Try this on." Andromeda turned, "You're about the same height as I was when I was your age so this should fit fine."
Tonks sighed, pulling off her robes and stripping down to her underwear before slipping on the clothes her mother pulled out for her; which was a tight fitting grey blouse, a little too low on the neckline for Tonks's liking, and a blue mini skirt.
"Mum…" Tonks grumbled, tugging at her blouse as she looked herself in her mirror. Andromeda slapped her hand away gently, arranging it.
"See? You look fine, don't fidget with that!" Andromeda snapped, as Tonks reached up to the neckline, "My daughter's all grown up now; I might actually consider giving you some of my clothes I wore when I was a teenager." She smiled.
Tonks groaned inwardly. It wasn't long before Andromeda kicked Tonks out of the house, telling her to come back to collect her robes later. Tonks guessed that wasn't the real reason; it was obvious her mother wanted to know how it went with Charlie…
Without the determination to go where she was headed but not wanting to splinch either, Tonks apparated with Andromeda watching.
She approached the burrow, knocking on the wooden door.
"Nymphadora!" Molly Weasley opened up, apparently probably announcing her arrival on purpose.
"Wotcher Mrs. Weasley, and it's Tonks," Tonks forced a smile.
"Please, call me Molly," Molly Weasley crammed herself to the side to allow Tonks in, "Charlie! Nymphadora is here!" She hollered.
Tonks smiled politely as she entered, wishing Mrs. Weasley wouldn't let the whole house know of her arrival.
She heard rumbling upstairs and hid her doubt and worry if this house can actually hold so many people without collapsing.
Tonks saw Charlie at the top of the stairs about 5 seconds after he heard the call of his mother. He looked the same as the last time she'd seen him which was quite sometime ago. Tonks would've thought he was still that dragon-crazy boy who spent his free time absorbed in dragon books but judging from his tousled hair, Tonks smirked, suspecting if Charlie had actually brought more than knowledge about dragons home.
"Hey, Tonksie!" Charlie ran down the last flight of stairs, "I'll admit, I'm surprised you didn't give my mother a punch for calling you that!" He laughed, looking absolutely exhilarated at her visit.
Suddenly, Tonks felt this wasn't such a bad idea. She grinned, "I've grown more civilized. And I can see you've grown too," Tonks smirked, eyeing his hair.
Charlie frowned before reaching up to pat down his hair, "Well, I wouldn't say that, considering I was just chasing my owl."
"Right," The smirk didn't fade but Tonks nodded patronizingly.
"Why don't you two go out in the garden? Or perhaps Charlie, you could show Nymphadora around our house?" Molly Weasley suggested.
"Mom, she'll really prefer 'Tonks'." Charlie replied before Tonks could. They exchanged a smile.
Molly nodded, smiling at them as they retreated out into the garden.
"Sorry about that anyway," Charlie spoke, breathing in the fresh air, "My mom's going about crazy with my bachelorhood."
Tonks laughed, "Funny, mine too. And why were you chasing your owl?"
"Trying to convince it to send a letter. Apparently she hates me now, after I actually brought her near the dragons."
"Why didn't you just use your family owl?"
"I didn't want to break your window." Charlie shrugged, "The Weasley's owl just can't seem to find safer landing but enough of the owls, how is your training coming along?"
"Great, I just finished my test today, bloody dementors the ministry sent," Tonks growled at the thought.
"I can see that," Charlie winced as he took in Tonks's cuts. He reached out, gingerly trailing the cuts, "These would heal though, with the right medication. I still have some in my bag that treats dragon cuts-"
"Mad-Eye fixed me up and since when were you such a worrywart?" Tonks grinned and Charlie returned it likewise. Silence engulfed them for a moment as they walked to the back of the house.
"It's really great that you visited, I missed our time together," Charlie smiled.
"Me too," Tonks replied, suddenly feeling awkward. Charlie was her best mate but their relationship started to be awkward when Charlie confessed his feelings towards her in their last year. It became slight bitter between them when Tonks told him she didn't feel the same way and that they should continue being best mate. However, being the nice guy Charlie was, he bounced back considerably quick to help her with her Newts and after that, he left for Romania without so much as a letter to inform her. At the back of her head, Tonks always felt that he was trying to avoid her but she couldn't be sure. She was almost hoping he'd soon find someone at Romania who would make his heart sing; apart from her.
"So…did you hear about the Chudley Cannons latest game?" Charlie asked. Instantly, the awkwardness faded as the ex-Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and Seeker touched on Tonks's favorite sport. She beamed, starting to ramble about what she'd heard and complaining about what she had missed.
Soon, the two of them went upstairs with Tonks commenting on pretty much everything Charlie had, especially the photo he'd taken with his colleagues back at Romania.
"This is a pretty one," Tonks teased, sitting with his ankles crossed on Charlie's bed while he took the floor.
Charlie scowled, snatching the photo away, "That's private."
Tonks raised her eyebrows, "Hey! If you're dating, gotta let your best mate know that!" She punched his shoulder lightly, "At least bring her home, and introduce us."
"There's no one," Charlie snapped, still scowling.
"Charlie!"
Both of them were interrupted as Molly Weasley's bellowed. Charlie sighed dramatically, humoring Tonks, before he left his place to open the door a crack.
"Yeah?" Charlie replied, yelling.
"Is Nymphadora staying for dinner?" Tonks rolled her eyes at the name.
Charlie turned to her, waiting for an answer. Tonks shrugged.
"Yeah, she is!" Charlie grinned, replying before closing the door, "My brothers are going to be happy to see you, they've all at least heard of you," He turned.
Tonks idly wondered when she was ever a subject of discussion with the Weasleys, "I thought most of them are at school?" Tonks replied distractedly as she flipped through one of Charlie's dragon book which she'd not seen.
"Yeah, the younger ones are still…" Charlie's voice trailed off and Tonks looked up, "I thought you could hang around for a while, they'll be back soon, and it's going to the end of the school year…"
"Don't worry Charlie; I won't be going anywhere anytime soon," Tonks teased, "Mad-Eye's got both eyes on me now."
Charlie smiled, nodding knowingly as he sat down with his back at the foot of his bed, "You've grown thin."
"S'that a good thing?" Tonks grinned, still looking at the magnificent pictures of dragons.
"Nope, but you've grown beautiful too," Charlie turned, looking at her openly like how he always does.
Tonks morphed away her blush, already getting pretty good at that since she left school. It had proven useful in many awkward situations, especially after she'd taken a bad fall on someone, "Thanks, you'd thought that would've helped me gotten a boyfriend already." She rambled but stopped midsentence, too late…she thought.
Charlie was evidently trying to swallow a lump in his throat as he looked out the small window from his room.
Tonks cleared her throat, "When are you setting off for Romania again?"
"About till mid-July, I want to stay a bit longer. Haven't talked to my brothers in a while, and…" He replied, glancing at her as his voice trailed off.
Tonks nodded, ignoring his paused as she continued, "This isn't really your room is it?" She asked, glancing around.
"No, Bill ain't here yet so I'm allowed to have his room," Charlie replied, smiling.
"Knew it wouldn't have been so tidy…" Tonks was promptly rewarded with a pillow to the face. She scowled and Charlie knew this wouldn't end without a fight. He grinned and stood just in time for Tonks to launch the pillow back at him. He growled before running up to stand on the bed to gain even ground. Soon the room was filled with yelps, screams and laughter as the two best friends went into combat with pillows, blankets and most of Charlie's books (to which his objected) as their only weapons.
Both of them failed to notice Molly Weasley sneak upstairs, and neither did they notice her opening a crack in the door until she cleared her throat.
They shuddered to a stop, turning to the door in surprise.
Tonks stopped, dropping the pillow in her hand and drew her wand. With her wand in hand, she realized it was only Molly. Charlie raised an eyebrow but sat on the bed, blushing furiously as his mother smiled, revealing neat row of teeth.
"Er, Mom! Didn't hear you knock…" Charlie started, not as successful in hiding his embarrassment.
"I did," Molly declared, "You were too busy to hear it," She broke into one of her grins again, "Dinner is ready." With that, she left, leaving two blushing adults too embarrassed to move.
"That was fun," Charlie gulped, glancing sideways at Tonks. Her bubble-gum hair was tousled, her blouse wrinkled and her skirt riding high on her thigh. He gulped; too busy staring to notice as she glared.
"Charlie Weasley!" Tonks shrieked as she lunged with the pillow, hitting Charlie satisfyingly in the face, muffling his shout of shock and –hopefully—pain.
To be continued…
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll be getting the other one up ASAP and hopefully, in time as a Christmas present! Don't forget to leave a review!
Thanks a lot to the readers and especially the reviewers!
Blood Red Tulips: Thanks so much! Hope this chapter portrayed Tonks okay; I swerved away from the normal Tonks with Mad-Eye there.
Imreviewing: Thanks! I'm not sure about Lupin's appearance yet but he'll be in the story in no more than 2 chapters after this; I hope it isn't too unbearably long! About having Remus point of view chapter… that is in the plan but not anytime soon I'm afraid! Sorry! Hope you enjoy the fic nonetheless!
Nomad79: Thanks! Hope you're enjoying Harry Potter world!
Don't forget to drop me a review!