OMG! Penny's first reaction was total shock. Once this subsided she thought, it's kind of adorable though. He's sent me a relationship agreement, that's so Sheldon.
Wait a minute; did I agree to be his girlfriend? Penny felt the blood rushing to her head. "Maybe one day," those were her exact words. He can't hold her to that surely. She started to flick through the pages then stopped herself. What am I doing? This is ridiculous, I'm not signing this thing, she thought. Walking to the bin, she was fully prepared to throw it away but then hesitated and couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Instead, she tucked it between two magazines on her bookshelf.
Then, she marched straight over to the other apartment and walked in. He was alone.
"Sheldon, I need a word."
"Oooh Penny, did you pick up your mail this morning," he said like an excited kid. He was standing in the kitchen.
"I sure did, Mr Pushy!"
"Pushy? not at all, I simply want you to be a little more, date specific," he said, and he gave her a quick smile.
"Huh!"
"So I know when you are going to be my girlfriend," he said.
She walked over to the counter, "Sweetie, I said maybe."
"I know."
"But you know that means it might never happen, right?"
"Oh, it will."
Her mouth dropped open.
"What?!"
"You will be my girlfriend," he said.
Penny was speechless, she stood there trying to figure out what to say next but no words came.
"I'm still working out the details, of course. I tried researching a similar scenario, but had little luck," he said. "I trawled through 100s of hours of romantic gibberish and couldn't find one single depiction where a man successfully steals his best friends girlfriend, whilst maintaining said friendship, and keeping his ex-girlfriends' friendship concurrently," he shook his head in disbelief.
"That's cause there isn't one!" she shouted.
"There isn't?"
"No Sheldon, you can't avoid hurting people."
"Are you sure?"
"YES, I'm sure!"
He looked deflated. "Well, that just leaves the three most apparent alternatives," he said.
"Which are?"
"Option one; we each let our current relationships run their course. Option two; we end them prematurely. Option 3; we have an illicit affair," he said "…and if my recent inquiry is anything to go by, that third option is exceedingly hazardous."
She smirked.
"Which do you chose?" he asked, then he quickly added, "…pick wisely."
"Option one."
"Hmmmm", he said. "Very well, if you could please inform me how many weeks, months or years that will be, I will make a note of it."
Penny just smiled. She could have told him it was never going to happen but the truth was, she didn't want too. Breaking Leonard's heart and losing all her friends was an option she knew she did not want. But she also didn't want to let go of the idea of Sheldon and their one day. She went back to her apartment feeling so much more relaxed about the whole thing.
Leonard and Sheldon decided to have a 'Star Wars consecutive night marathon'. They would watch the first 'Star Wars' film after dinner on Tuesday evening, 'The Empire Strikes Back' the following night, finishing up with 'Return of the Jedi' on Thursday night with pizza.
"What do you think?" Leonard asked.
"But we've seen them." Penny complained.
"Yes, but not for ages. Come on, it will be fun, Howard and Bernadette are coming tomorrow. It will be like a double date."
"Ahem!" said Sheldon.
"A double date, plus Sheldon," Leonard chuckled.
"Sure."
Penny had not been all that thrilled about the idea, but the first night was more fun than she expected. She put on a bright pink top and jeans and curled her hair a little. She didn't want to make too much effort. Just a little, she thought.
When she arrived Sheldon, Howard and Bernadette were sitting on the couch in a row.
"You look nice," Leonard said.
"Thanks"
"Take the armchair, I'll sit on a chair," he said. She went to sit down.
"Hi Penny," said Bernadette. "I see you've been roped into this too?"
"She loves it really," said Howard turning to Bernadette and giving her hand a little squeeze.
"He keeps hoping that I'll eventually let him mount his light sabers on the wall over our bed," she complained.
Penny smiled.
Everyone helped themselves to Thai, while Sheldon scooted around the room adjusting the speakers for what he liked to call 'the acoustic sweet spot'. Penny didn't watch him at first but kept catching him in her peripherals. That lanky praying mantis, she sniggered. That lanky well-proportioned praying mantis, were her true thoughts. She had started to notice that his frame was appealing, that she liked his nimble and purposeful movements.
After they had eaten, he announced a break and offered to refresh their drinks. "There will be a fifteen minute bathroom break and the film will commence at exactly 20:00." Howard and Bernadette smiled at each other.
"Sheldon, why can't you just say 8 o'clock?" Leonard moaned.
Penny watched Sheldon pick up their plates, take them to the kitchen and started making the teas.
"Who wants beer? she asked.
"I do," Howard piped up.
"I'll get them," she said going to the kitchen and taking two beers from the fridge.
"Ooh, the Simpsons," said Howard flicking through the channels while they waited. "I haven't seen this one."
Sheldon was delicately arranging the cups with the tab from each tea bag pointing in the exact same direction. She nudged him with her shoulder, "Move along" she said in hushed tones. He didn't budge. She nudged him again. "Stop that." he said quietly. Penny placed her beers right next to Sheldon's cups. "I'm using that space," he whispered and flashed her a playful look.
Bernadette glanced up from the screen and happened to look in their direction. She watched them for a minute. Are they flirting? No, that's completely absurd; she thought and went back to watching TV.
The following evening, not long after she got home.
Knock, knock, knock, "Penny"
Knock, knock, knock, "Penny"
Knock, knock, knock, "Penny"
She opened the door.
"Hello future girlfriend," he said with a glint in his eye.
"Don't call me that," Penny whispered, dragging him by the arm inside and shutting the door quickly.
"Would you prefer FG?" he said.
"Not really," she said. "So why did you pop by, Sheldon?"
"I came to let you know, 'The Empire Strikes Back' evening is postponed until tomorrow," he said.
"Oh, that's a shame. I can't believe I'm saying this but last night was fun," she said.
"So do you want to hang out? I have cocoa."
"I have things to do," he said "…but I do like cocoa."
She smiled and went round to the kitchen counter to start making some. As she stood behind him, she suddenly noticed the gentle slope of his neck. She hadn't paid much attention to it before. He looked almost majestic sitting there and she felt something stir. She walked over behind him to examine it more closely. Reaching out, she stroked her finger down the back of his neck to his shoulders. He closed his eyes.
Walking around the chair to face him, he opened them and they looked at each other for a second. She thought about kissing him. Is it so wrong? she thought, it's just a kiss. But as she lent across he immediately jumped out of the chair.
"Dangerous Liaisons," he yelped.
"Sorry, what?"
"The Vicomte de Valmont sort to ruin the virtuous Madame de Tourvel."
Sheldon what are you rambling about?" she said.
"You're trying to seduce me," he said, crossing his arms and looking back at her with a penetrating glare.
She felt herself blush, "I-I… am not!"
"You're not?"
"I'm... most certainly… aren't," she stammered.
"Hmmmmm, that's exactly what Valmont inferred to Madame de Tourvel when he urged her to lose her inhibitions."
"When the hell did you turn into Raj?" she said mockingly.
"I see it clearly now."
"It was just a kiss."
"You want the fruit but don't want to pay for it."
She gasped. "That's not true!"
"Isn't it?" he said leaning right over her, as she sat on the couch. "How long have you been dragging your feet over Leonard?"
"Sheldon, stop it right now!"
He straightened up and looked down at her. "There's one thing that you didn't count on, Penny?" he said softly. "I'm not Leonard you know!" He turned and stalked out the door.