Could this get any worse? If it wasn't bad enough that she wanted sex with Sheldon, now he knew it too!
The second Star Wars film night was about to commence and Penny would give anything to avoid going. She didn't want to sit in that room with His-Royal-Smugness after he told her off for trying to make out with him.
He was right about all of it. He was right about her trying to seduce him. He was right about her dragging her feet in her relationship. Leonard was like a comfy chair, so familiar and secure. It had been a while since she'd had that level of security and here she was, six years later, considering his lunatic roommate. It was a difficult thing to admit.
Dr Sheldon Cooper. He wasn't a comfy chair at all. He was a terrible boyfriend. She couldn't imagine herself putting up with what Amy does. All those rules and routines would drive her to homicide. No thank you.
Yet the way he challenged her last night was faintly erotic. She had wanted to tear those superhero t-shirts right off his pasty white shoulders but she didn't want the consequences that would follow.
I am a fruit thief, she thought.
Just at that moment, there was a knock. It must be Leonard coming to get me, she thought. Instead she found Bernadette and Amy on her doorstep.
"Hi girls, what's up?" she said.
"Hi Penny," said Bernadette. "We're going to have to skip 'Star Wars' tonight I'm afraid. This is an emergency."
"Oh thank god." Penny said, gesturing for them to come in. "Can I get you something?"
"We need everything you're got!" said Bernadette.
Penny grabbed the wine and brought over three glasses.
"Open that sucker," Amy ordered.
Penny poured out three glasses, "What's the big emergency?" she said taking a big sip.
"Sheldon's dumped me!" Penny's wine came straight back out. She jumped up to the kitchen, coughing.
"Are you okay?" Bernadette asked.
"Sure..." Penny wheezed. Cough, cough.
"He just turned up last night out of the blue, his eyes as big as an frightened owl," she said.
"What did he say?" Bernadette asked.
"Well when I finally got it out of him, he said he wanted to terminate our relationship agreement." Amy sobbed.
Penny felt her cheeks warm.
"Did he say why?" said Bernadette, looking over at Penny for support.
She pointed to her throat. Cough. Bernadette frowned.
"He said we had significantly deviated from the original terms of the relationship agreement," she said. "I told him that I wanted things to change but only slowly. That I thought he was growing to want the changes too," she sobbed.
"What did he say to that?"
"He said he had come to realize through his own experiments, that precise balancing is utterly unnatural in physics theories and it was time for a new approach in understanding strict reductionism and the absolute scale."
"Oh dear, not the supersymmetry dilemma again?" Bernadette sighed.
"I know!" Amy said, "It's not even a proven theory!" she huffed, slumping down on the couch and crossing her arms in defiance.
Penny returned to her seat.
"Amy, I'm really sorry," said Bernadette. "I feel terrible."
"It's okay, because I know exactly who's to blame," Amy announced.
"You do?" said Bernadette. A chill crept up Penny's spine.
"Raj!"
"Raj? surely not," said Bernadette.
"Just before he left, he quoted some rubbish which I swear was from Bridget Jones!" Amy said.
Bernadette gasped.
"Amy, I don't know what to say," said Penny finally recovering her composure.
"Don't worry, he'll come crawling back," said Amy. "Sheldon and I are perfect for each other, he'll come to his senses eventually."
"Is there's anything we can do?" Bernadette said.
"Nope, but I know what I'm going to do!" she said.
"What's that?" Penny asked hesitantly.
"Ask Stuart out on a date," she said.
"Oh Amy, are you sure?" said Penny.
"Once Sheldon sees I'm with Stuart again, he'll change his mind. Then I'm going to deal with that Raj!"
Amy wouldn't be dissuaded; she set off on her mission immediately. Thanking the girls, she told them she would keep them updated on her progress. Then she hurried out the door and down the stairs.
"ALRIGHT MISSY!" Bernadette yelled. "What the hell's going on with you and Sheldon!"
"What?'
"Don't play the innocent with me. Tuesday night he was giving you looks that could melt the polar ice caps and now this! I'm not stupid you know!"
"Oh Bernadette" said Penny putting her hands over her eyes.
"OMG, I'm right?" Bernadette said with genuine surprise.
Penny let out a sigh, "Sheldon has been expressing… things and I…"
"You like it?" Bernadette took this in for a minute. "How far as it gone?" she asked.
"We've kissed."
"Do you love him? Does he love you?"
Penny was dumbstruck. Neither of them had mentioned 'love' they hadn't talked about anything really. She suddenly felt so stupid. How could she even contemplate anything with Sheldon based on so little?
"I'm not sure," she said.
"Well you better get sure because this is serious!" said Bernadette. "If you don't love each other, you need to knock it on the head now, so we can patch up this whole business between Sheldon and Amy, before it's too late."
A sudden blast of reality hit Penny, what was she thinking? He had spoken about passion, and she had felt lust.
She heard a buzzer sound and the other apartment door open. "I'll get it," Sheldon's voice rang out. She heard him treading down the stairs. She crept out and rushed down after him, catching him up on the first floor.
"Option ONE, Sheldon!" she barked, "What kind of scientist doesn't know the difference between one and two?"
He looked at her bemused, "What kind of waitress doesn't know the difference between one and three?" he mocked in reply. Then continued down the next flight.
When he got to the bottom, he opened the door to the pizza delivery guy. Penny ran down.
"Sheldon, we had a deal!"
"No Penny, you alleged you had chosen option one, when in fact you chose option three. I simply chose option two."
"We can't chose different options."
"Why on earth not?"
"Because… we can't and I didn't chose three."
"Oh you did," he said.
"Whatever option you folks ordered, its here now," said the delivery guy looking bored. Sheldon took out some money and handed it over. He took the boxes and made his way back up.
"Come back here!" she said trailing up after him. "Why didn't you tell me you picked option two!"
"You didn't ask."
"Okaaay, you were right, I did chose option three."
He stopped dead. "I know," he said looking at his feet.
"I still chose option three."
He gave her a tense look, "You can't do that."
"Why not?" she said, hoping he would give something away about how he felt.
"That option is no longer available."
He turned and reached for the doorknob. She stared at him for a moment taking in his answer.
"I should have corrupted you when I had the chance," she joked.
He looked back at her, she smiled and went inside her apartment.
Bernadette was waiting, "I'm going over for pizza night, are you coming?"
"No, please tell Leonard I'm busy and I'll see him tomorrow for the last film. I need some time," she said.
"Sure," said Bernadette with a concerned look.
Penny flopped down on the couch. She glanced over towards the bookshelf. Curious. Getting up, she walked over and removed the brown envelope from between the magazines where she'd left it. She pulled the booklet out and sat down.
"Alright Sheldon, lets see what you got," she said and started to read.