Chapter 6

Out in the Open

"I...the mission. It's not her, it's the whole, damn mission. Choose another kuniochi for this. Or replace me; I'm not going to be the one to witness her finding out about this."

Tsunade glared at Kakashi.

"Kakashi! I will not explain myself again! Sakura was chosen for this mission and that is final."

She paused for a second. In a softer voice, she added, "I don't want to put her through this either. It's just that she needs closure...and this is the best way for her to get it. I don't want to put her in any other shinobi's hands; she knows and trusts you the most. You should be the one to help them."

He shifted his weight from one foot to another. Kakashi looked longingly at the window behind Tsunade for a fleeting second.

"Did something happen between you two?" she asked quietly. Too quietly.

"No."

She scrutinized him, but his years of experience didn't allow him to leak anything on his face; he donned his usual stoic and lazy expression. The seemingly young woman sighed and dismissed him with a flicker of her wrist.

"Just go. Don't question me again."

He turned and headed for the door, his fisted hands stuffed into his pockets.

"And Kakashi..." she called out to his back, "you are an impervious piece of work, but Sakura's an open book to me. I'll find out whatever the hell you are hiding beneath that mask of yours."

He twisted the doorknob and left without another word.

Tsunade groaned loudly and lied her cheek down on her desk. What was Sakura hiding from her? She could tell that something happened to her. The girl had stopped pestering her for a few days and when she came back, she was different, more closed and moody. From Sakura's subtle cringes at random objects or words to the faint bruises she'd been trying to hide with her clothes, it was obvious that something happened. Tsunade tried bringing it up, but her eyes would go all wide and scared. Even the fearsome hokage didn't have the heart anymore to question her any further than that point.

The most obvious hint was when Kakashi was forced into the hospital one day for a routinely checkup. Honestly, it stirred up quite an uproar. Hatake Kakashi, rather famous for his techniques, tardiness and ability to dodge doctors, was actually found in the hospital...and he wasn't dead or near death, for that matter. With the knowledge that he was well and alive, his celebrity status got the best of him. Patients blushed and Nurses flirted. It was shameless.

Meanwhile, Sakura and Tsunade were just a few doors away to progress through an intensive training session. It was when the examiner led Kakashi into their room, to pick up a few utensils, were the signs blatant.

Sakura was standing beside Tsunade, who was doing a demonstration on a pig liver. When the examiner knocked politely and bowed at the duo, Sakura looked up, smiled at her and immediately looked back down. Kakashi then too, nodded at Tsunade and then settled his eyes on Sakura.

"Kaoru. Kakashi," the hokage greeted.

She didn't notice it at first, but it almost became an uncomfortable itch she couldn't quite identify. She then realized that the whole while, Sakura was still digging holes into the organ with her eyes. Normally, the sight of her former teacher would stretch the girl's face into an affectionate grin. "Kaka-sensei," she'd josh. It was adorable really, how the older Sakura was still on good terms with him.

Silence ensured while Kakashi ogled at Sakura who tried to look anywhere, but him, and Tsunade who squinted between the two of them. Then there was the clueless examiner who made a small victory whoop when she found the kit. Sakura's newly formed ticks started up again, the darting eyes, the deep swallows and rubbing of her wrists or neck.

"Kakashi is here, Sakura," Tsunade had hinted.

"Hello," she said absent-mindedly.

Kakashi nodded.

It was from that moment that she knew there was something ugly tying them together. It was then when she knew Kakashi knew what caused those ticks. Or if Kakashi was the one who caused those ticks.

Back from her memories, Tsunade shook her head and swerved her chair around to stare out the vast window. She saw the outline of Kakashi as he walked away from the Hokage Tower. Her eyes followed him until he made a sharp left and veered towards the art store, hidden by the roof of another shop. No longer interested, the hokage turned back to her paperwork.

When Kakashi arrived at his destination, Sai was mildly surprised when he found him at the entrance of his beloved store, a scroll hung limply from a gloved hand. He waved at him and Sai waved back with his newly bought paint brushes. He followed the jounin without another word, curious on what mission they were given.

They sauntered down a couple of blocks in complete silence, Sai expectant and Kakashi contemplating, before he spoke alas.

"Can you keep a secret?"

Sai was giddy. Secret sharing was a sign of deep friendship and trust. He nodded.

"Then don't tell Sakura about the mission," he paused, "Naruto either, just in case. I don't think he can keep his mouth shut."

That wasn't the type of secret he was expecting. That type of secret was regulation-breaking.

"Why? What are we sent out to do?"

"It's no good for them," Kakashi, mumbled with a faint sheen of anger glinting his eye, "It'll hurt too much for their own good."

Sai waited for the jounin to continue. He seemed to need to rant first.

"We...were given a mission to capture and kill Uchiha Sasuke. It was demanded directly from the elders."

Sai didn't know what to say. The infamous surviving Uchiha to be hunted and murdered. What an idea.

"...why so suddenly?"

"They see him as their weak link, in a way. They've got some screwed up idea in their heads that once Sasuke is gone, Konoha can make its real 'brand new start' after the war."

Sai didn't have a really good impression of the sharigan user. He knew it was a taboo subject and never inquired much about it. He knew Naruto was angry and Sakura heartbroken. He assumed it was just one of those things people got over in time.

"Especially now," Kakashi continued, irritated, "After what Sakura went through-"

Sai swerved his attention to Kakashi. What about Sakura?

"Never mind," he stopped, agitated. "Just pretend you don't know about this. Go along with what I say. Let's not tell them yet. It'll get in their heads and make them too unstable to carry out a proper kill and retrieve mission."

He was concerned for Kakashi. Emotions and pity were not to muddle up directions. He should have known better. He was making a very desperate decision and it must have torn him up to ignore the rules so bluntly.

"They'll find out eventually."

"I know," Kakashi said, suddenly calm again, "I'll deal with it."

"...yes, of course."

Kakashi pressed the scroll into Sai's hands and gazed up at the sky.

He creased his eyes in a familiar smile and said, "Take this for now. I'm going to inform them, and I don't want that on me when I do."

Sai bowed and Kakashi left him. He unraveled the scroll and scanned through it. Perhaps it really was for the best of the former team 7. He looked at the spot where Kakashi was a minute ago. It was then when Sai realized just how many secrets Kakashi must have carried.

He decided to saunter back to the street where the art store dwelled. On the opposite side, a few stores down, a new grill opened up. Kakashi said himself not to think too much of the mission. Perhaps he'd even look for Kiba and the others for a nice lunch together. Shino too, of course, because Sai felt a strange connection to him, both being socially awkward and all.

In the mist village, Sakura tore open the grey haired nin's cover.

The situation undoubtedly seemed very bad. Kakashi didn't tell the team where they were going. The team was attacked and somehow, everyone else, but Kakashi and herself were missing. He lied about where he went. Sakura found him communicating with the enemy, devising some plan to trick herself and Naruto. Guilt was written all over Kakashi's face and he didn't say anything.

"What?" She spat. "Aren't you going to spin more lies to me? Tell me that this is all visiting routine? That he's actually an undercover Konoha shinobi spying on Kirigakure? That you aren't selling us away to him?"

He looked blankly at her. That wasn't suppose to happen. Whenever Sakura made the wrong implications, he'd always sharply correct her and clear things up. The notorious copy nin was flustered.

"Sakura," he took a step and stopped.

"Just tell me this one thing. I don't want to know the details. I don't want to know what goes on in every screwed up corner in that brain of yours. Just tell me if you're still with Konoha or not," she said with her fists clenched.

He didn't say anything for the longest time, just stood there and studied her. She suddenly felt exhausted.

"I'm tired of you, Kakashi," she sighed, "I won't do anything either way so just tell me."

"I am with you," he said, "of course I am."

"Then what is this?!" she quivered, her chin rising up.

She thrusted an accusing finger at the other man while she desperately waited for a reply that could ease her misgivings.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, almost reeling over. He looked drained too. What ever secret he was carrying on his shoulders was wearing him down.

"I did it for you, Sakura."

Her blood boiled even more intensely.

"I fucking hate it when people say that. Do the whole 'it's for your own good' motion and pretend like they give a shit. Like putting someone in misery is 'good for them.' Don't pull that crap on me, Hatake."

She hoped her words stung. He didn't have trouble catching her eyes, but now, they were hollow, like they've given up.

"But I did, Sakura," he said earnestly, "I wanted...I wanted...it would have been too much for you. I was saving you from the hurt."

"And this, this doesn't hurt at all right, having you stab my back and everything."

Kakashi was exasperated with her, "No, that's not how I meant it. I wanted to save you from the truth."

"What truth?"

He rubbed his eyelids. His expression resembled a kid who was told to confess if his friend really played the prank or if he himself was the real culprit. "About the mission."

She threw her hands up in the air and pushed out, making her little sign of defeat. She looked at Kakashi incredulously and almost laughed.

"Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?! Are you saying that there is something else that you failed to mention to me the WHOLE MONTH we were here together?!"

The kiri was inconspicuously still there and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another. It reminded him of when he was 6 and his parents argued 'till sunrise about his father's constant absences. He was going to butt in soon. The conversation sounded too personal for him to be listening.

"I made a hasty decision, I shouldn't have..." he trailed off. "I couldn't do that to you just yet, peculiarly after what happened with you and..."

She narrowed her eyes at her teacher. She didn't like the way that Kakashi was tying that incident into this whole mess.

"I need to tell you this with Naruto here," he said abruptly, "It's important for the whole team to be present-"

"Jesus, Kakashi! Why can't you just stop with all your bullshit once in a while? You are always such a jackass because God forbid you actually let yourself be human, right?!"

He stared. She was trembling.

"I did this because I actually let myself to be human this time," he whispered.

She was so tired of his crap.

"I try and try to sell my fucking self to get some sort of reaction from you, but every time you just walk on past me like I'm a kid you have to look after!"

She raged forward and flung a fist in his direction with full force. Kakashi stood there and braced himself for what will happen next. The angry punch turned into a small nudge; Sakura was already tumbling downhill from her high. She kept it there, her balled-up hand against his chest, and stood in front of him, shamefully spilling out tears. She was exhausted and spent.

"Why do you always do this to me?" she said bitterly, "It's always you who makes me feel like this."

Like she wanted to gauge out her chest with all the contents inside and sink her fingernails into her skin until blood welled up.

Then, she was there again, in that cold, cold room with her shoulders bared and neck bruised. She was back to that place where she lied for hours, cheek pressed against the concrete floor until Kakashi found her. And back to when Kakashi pushed her out from his support. This time was like another slash at her frame. She squeezed her eyes. Why did he have to bring it up?

"You are being irrational, Sakura. Calm down, and see this from my point of view. I can explain this to you," he said, "I can tell you the truth."

She didn't know what to do. There wasn't anything she could do. They couldn't stay here forever. She couldn't simply ditch him at Kiri because he seemed hellbent to prove himself. She couldn't just go back to Konoha with him happily, knowing that he...what the hell did she know? He said he wasn't consorting with the enemy, but he's obviously lying about something. Sakura was confused out of her mind.

"You take me to Naruto. You tell us what we want to know and we, not you, decide what to do."

There goes all that trust accumulated from 6 years of acquaintanceship. It was all gone.

"So..." a timid voice scooted in, "You two won't be coming back? I won't report this if you all just go on your way."

Her head snapped up in the direction of the voice. The awkward kiri-nin was still there, faithful for further directions. She couldn't hate him really. Just wary.

"Go," Kakashi said.

He nodded and hesitantly turned back before disappearing, "Sorry senpai."

Kakashi turned to Sakura. The air of teasing humour and blitheness was gone. It was just Kakashi and his big, fat, stupid mistake. She scoffed at him and crossed her arms over her chest. She pointed with her chin.

"You go first."

A quarter of an hour brought them to an impatient blonde.

"Oh, come on, Sakura-chan," he said when they came into view, "Don't pick up Kakashi's late habits too."

He stopped when he saw them. As a team, they were always in sync with each other. Between the remaining three of them, Naruto definitely sensed it.

"Um."

"Kakashi," she spat.

Naruto glanced at Kakashi with a 'ohhh, you pissed her off' look and directed his attention back to Sakura. He couldn't wait to hear about what prank the man played on her this time. She was giving an overly big reaction, in Naruto's opinion. The man always fooled around; Sakura should have known better. Naruto felt sorry for him. She glared at Kakashi like she would at the old (God rest his wretched soul) 'Madara.'

"Sensei?" Naruto looked at Kakashi in confusedly. What was Sakura spouting out?

While Sakura was angry and ranting, Kakashi was just agitated and impatient. She didn't waste any time in catching her breath, she dove right into all the juicy details she found out about Kakashi. All the while, said grey-haired jounin shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, frowning.

"Sakura does not understand the situation," he simply stated when Sakura finished.

That awarded another incredulous string of curses from Sakura. She pointed a finger at the grey haired man and said, "Are you fucking with me?! I should have you tied up and unconscious right now."

"Sakura-chan, wait," Naruto said, eyeing Kakashi, "What do you mean, sensei?"

"Sakura..." he faltered for a bit, lost for words.

That was all Sakura needed to swoop in.

"He lied about the mission!"

Naruto scratched his head, dumbfounded. Then, his eyes lit up.

"Oh yeah. Kakashi-sensei, you haven't told us what we're suppose to do yet."

The pinkette stopped in her tracks. That was when she remembered that Kakashi never had the chance to tell Naruto. So according to Naruto, Kakashi simply withheld the information for a longer than necessary period of time.

Kakashi gestured his hand towards an ominous pebble road that led a little ways away from the heart of the town. Naruto marched past him and Kakashi stood there, waiting for Sakura. He looked like he was about to cringe.

"C'mon."

Oh god it hurt to look at him.

Sakura followed hesitantly. When Kakashi found a clearing, he told Naruto and Sakura. Blatantly. The whole truth. Apparently he wasn't going to bother with all that 'don't want to hurt you' bull again. The wind kissed Sakura's face and she tilted her chin up. Naruto soaked up the facts in silence. She couldn't say anything either. They all had to face it.

"How could we?" he said faintly.

His usual raspy tone was devoid of any blithe.

"Didn't we get enough of this? Wasn't Chōza enough?! Why can't they just let it go? Dammit!" He pounded a fist onto the soil.

Naruto just made it extremely uncomfortable. Uchiha was a subject never to be discussed. Chōza was also another subject never to be discussed. Yet it was difficult not to because when one thought of Uchiha, he was also there too.

"He wasn't the only one, Naruto," Kakashi reminded him quietly, "There was-"

"I know."

"They held grudges. The 'cutting lose ends' excuse was just a means of getting back at him. Chōza was a very important jounin to us and they couldn't let his death-"

"But it was over! The war has ended and that's that! Why can't they-"

"Naruto." Kakashi said sternly. "Sasuke killed Chōza. He almost killed Shikamura too. Get that in your head. He didn't hesitate coming after any of us either."

"Yeah and remember what Konoha did to him? Dragged out his blood, healed him over and over again just so you guys can start all over again?"

"Why are you defending him, Naruto," Sakura said monotonously.

Throughout the argument, she sat like a stone, eyes hard and fists clenched. She remembered back to that time. When she saw Sasuke again. She could still remember the frightening surprise of his appearance...and the gruesome scars at his collarbones, his arms.

'Sakura,' Sasuke had said to her. 'Are you afraid?'

"I-," Naruto fumbled for words, "I didn't mean to."

The three of them were a mess. Sasuke's appearance near the end of the war was the mother of all taboo subjects. No one wanted to acknowledge what he did and what they let Konoha do to him in return. It was a miracle, really, how he managed to escape. It was an even bigger miracle that they managed to hold down the Uchiha for so long. Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi were close. But they just didn't talk. It was better that way.

"It's just that when he came back...I didn't expect him to try to...kill us..."

"And succeed..." Kakashi interrupted Naruto.

"Then never appeared again after that. Can never tell what he's thinking, huh," Naruto finished.

Kakashi glanced at Sakura and Sakura stared harder into the ground to avoid looking at him. They both shared the same thought; Sasuke did come back, just that only Sakura and then Kakashi knew.

It's almost been a month and really, they've just started their real mission. Sakura didn't know what to do with this whole thing. She slowed her heartbeat in the silence and breathed in through her nose, out through her mouth. Just like she would in training. It was gorgeous to be out of Mist again and the tranquility of the spot Kakashi chose was soothing. She wished she didn't feel so empty though.

Naruto was about 12 feet away from her, legs crossed and elbows on his knees. He didn't look at Kakashi nor did Sakura. Truthfully, it wasn't his fault. All Kakashi did was be too soft. It was the elders, the whole group of behind-the-scenes planners that created this task. Kakashi looked at the two chunins.

"Let's go then."

Naruto stood up and lightly dusted his pants. Sakura looked up.

"What? It's the only thing to do. Kakashi isn't plotting to kill us so there's no point making yourself more angry over it. Let's get this over with and go home," he ended on a softer note.

The trio found themselves in a befuddling situation.

"You know what, I'm going to eat some food first," Naruto stated.

Sakura sighed and watched helplessly as the blonde stiffly walked away with his shoulders hunched. She looked at Kakashi and caught him in the middle of a stare.

It sucked how great they were these past few days and how fast they came to this stage. Sakura absentmindedly rubbed her neck again. Kakashi frowned.

"You're doing that again."

"Doing what?" she said irritatedly.

"Your..." he waved his hand in her general direction, "little habits. You know, the shoulder rolls, the fidgeting...neck rubbing."

Her hand pressed harder.

"You should stop" he said quietly.

She looked up at Kakashi through her lashes and felt another pang of exasperation.

"I don't hate you directly," she said.

If he had canine ears, she would have seen them swerve towards her attentively. His eyes remained steady.

"Not for this anyways..."

Rub, rub, rub

"Like...I know this actually isn't your fault..."

rub, rub

"but you're not off the hook for what you did to me before and"

She suddenly jerked away. He had reached out a hand to stop her scratching and rubbing, but as soon as his fingers came in contact with her, she jerked. Resentment flared up in her eyes again.

"Don't."

They waited in silence until the bouncing blonde came into the clearing. He at least seemed considerably brightened. Naruto stuck out his hand and showed the numerous balls of glutinous flour skewered on sticks.

"Got you guys something."

A/N: Please shoot me a review! They mean the world to me :)