I just realized I haven't had a villain appear in this yet. So how about a little Ice Queen interlude? :) Don't forget to review!

Chapter 5

Fiona laughed wildly as she and Cake slid down the snowy hillside on a plank of plywood. To beat the summer heat, they had entered the Ice Kingdom. They didn't enter the winter wonderland often, since it was the Ice Queen's domain. But today was an exception. She hollered loudly, her cheeks flushed with cold. The cool wind slapped her face as they picked up speed. The two of them sledded down the mountainsides, trees rushing past. Fiona even glimpsed a Snow Golem and a herd of penguins as they passed. They flew off the side of a snowy cliff but landed in an ice tunnel. Their voices echoed as they slid and spiraled down to the end.

They shot out of the tunnel like a rocket and landed in a deep snow drift. The plywood sled snapped in half. Fiona lay there in the snow, laughing. They had landed in a small ditch.

"Mathematical!" Fiona shouted. Then she saw the broken wood. "Aw, our sled's broken."

"Don't worry, baby!" Cake sat up. "We'll just make another one."

"Hey! Just what do you think you're doing?!" A shrill voice shouted. "Who dares to enter the Ice Kingdom?!"

Fiona and Cake glanced up at the top of the ditch. A woman in a blue dress, long white hair, and wearing a golden tiara stood at the edge. She glared down at them. It was because of the old lady that the two of them didn't go into the Ice Kingdom much.

Fiona groaned. "Aw man! Ice Queen's here…."

"And do you know why I'm here?!" She shouted down at them. "Do you know what Ice Queen means?"

"Yeah, I know what Ice Queen means," Cake said. "I big JERK!"

Cake nudged Fiona in the side and winked. Fiona laughed.

Ice Queen put her hands on her hips. "It means I'm Queen of Ice! This is my domain!" She swept her hands in front of her, indicating to the entire wintery landscape. She pointed at them. "And you're violating Ice World law—trespassing!"

"Oh come on, lady," Cake waved off her words. "We're just tryin' to beat the heat."

Fiona nodded. "Yeah! There's a big sleepy lava man in our front yard, and he is so hot."

Cake nudged her playfully in the arm and winked. "M-m-hm."

"Wait wait," Fiona stuttered. "I take that back! I-I mean not like sexy hot—"

"No, no. You totally mean 'sexy' hot!" she said teasingly.

"No! I mean—"

"I don't care!" Ice Queen shouted. "This is my kingdom. You guys can't just scoot about on my land all willy-nilly! I've got rules here."

Fiona sighed, scooping up a handful of snow. She patted it into a mini-snowman. "Man, why can't you just try being cool for once?"

"What?!" she screeched. "I am the Queen! I am the Queen of cool!" She screamed and grumbled angrily, kicking snow about. "THAT'S IT!" Suddenly the air temperature dropped even lower. Ice Queen's hands glowed in a shroud of blue magic. She cast a spell on the snow at her feet. "Rise, monsters of snow! And go, beat up Fiona and Cake!"

The snow moved about violently. It clumped together and grew taller and taller. Soon four snow-beasts had formed thanks to Ice Queen's magic. The creatures lumbered down the side of the ditch. They were bent on beating the two girls senseless. It was their only purpose.

"Uh-oh," Cake muttered.

Fiona sprang to her feet. She laughed as she leaped into action. She punched and kicked the snow monsters relentlessly. Despite their size, they were slow and clumsy. They swung at her, but they couldn't even keep up with her. Cake scooped up a handful of snow and tossed a snowball at the closest monster. The beast shrieked and swayed. It toppled over into the snow beast beside it. And one after the other, the snow beasts crashed into each other like dominoes.

Fists clenched in anger, Ice Queen glared down at them "Oooooh…you guys are gonna get it!"

Cake and Fiona laughed. "Yeah right. Whatever you say."

Ice Queen zapped them with her magic, instantly freezing them in a block of solid ice. She hoisted the frozen Fiona and Cake into a wheelbarrow and carted them off to the tallest ice mountain in the kingdom. A narrow, very fragile bridge stretched across the snowy mountains to a small entrance at the top of the tallest peak. Ice Queen groaned as she pushed the wheelbarrow up the steep passage to her lair. The sun was just starting to set as she reached the opening to her ice cave. The last rays gleamed and sparkled off the frozen mountainsides. She sighed.

"Uhg…even with all this magic I still have to do so much darn work! I'm going to need to get myself a magic back, at this rate." She carted the frozen heroes inside. "I'm hooooooome," she called in a lofty voice.

Her entire lair was made of ice—all the chairs, table, even her bed frame. In the back corner of her home was a large prison made of ice. Inside were six young princes, all from separate kingdoms. Ice Queen was notorious for kidnapping princes, all in hopes of marrying one. Or so she said. And Fiona was usually the one to rescue them. Ice Queen had captured Hotdog Prince, Wildberry Prince, Ghost Prince, Lumpy Space Prince, Slime Prince, and Ragdoll Prince.

"Hello, boys," Ice Queen said, pushing the wheelbarrow toward the cage.

The princes gasped and whispered to each other. They were all frightened of the Ice Queen. She could easily kill them, and so they remained trapped in her lair.

"Now now, settle down, boys. I brought you a little girl and a kitty!" Ice Queen unlocked the icebar door and tossed the frozen heroes inside. The ice shattered as it hit the wall.

Fiona slid to the floor, clutching her throbbing head. She groaned. Cake's tail bushed out to double its normal size and she shook all the ice fragments off her fur.

"Oh my!" Wlidberry Prince cried in his sweet, high-pitched voice. "Fiona, are you alright?"

"Huh?" Fiona looked up, greeted by the worried faces around her. "Wildberry Prince, Hotdog Prince…? What's going on?"

Many of the princes hung their heads in shame. Slime Prince looked away. "We're all prisoners," he said in his low voice.

"Ice Queen!" Fiona shouted angrily, leaping to her feet.

She shrugged. "What?"

"Why're you keeping these guys prisoner, you jerk? What's your deal?!"

Ice Queen gripped the bars. "A tomboy like you wouldn't understand!" she cried. "I collect princes because I want to marry one."

"If you just wanna marry one, why'd you capture six of them?" Cake asked.

"I'm collecting them all first so that I can be sure to make the right choice," Ice Queen said. "You're both too young to understand, but marriage is a serious thing and lasts forever. You can't just rush into it, you know?"

"Ice Queen, don't do this," Fiona pleaded. "Just let the guys go. They don't want to be here."

"Of course they do!" Ice Queen shouted, her voice rising shriller in annoyance. "I would have killed them already if they didn't want to be here! Right, boys?" Her hands glowed blue with magic as she stared at the princes, a look of warning in her eyes.

Slowly the boys nodded, muttering that they agreed.

Fiona sighed, turning to the captives. "Don't worry, princes. I pledge that Cake and I will protect each and every one of you. And furthermore, I vow to see all of you happily married to whatever sweet thing you all wanna be married to!"

Cries of excitement and hope welled up among the princes. Ice Queen rolled her eyes, muttering something angrily as she watched them.

"Cool!" Fiona pulled off her backpack. "Now I just need something to beat up the Ice Queen with." She rummaged through her bag, pushing aside items that were useless like her toothbrush, binoculars, water bottle, sweater…. She was just about to give up when her fingers curled around something long and wooden. She pulled it out. "My flute!"

The wooden flute was covered in tape, but it still worked. If she threw it just right, she might be able to stab Ice Queen with it. Fiona spun around and threw it with all her might. But the flute broke into pieces when it hit the ice bars. Ice Queen stared at the broken fragments, unimpressed.

"My flute!" she cried, shocked.

"Oh dang, girl! We broke it when we tried picking the lock to that sad ogre's heart," Cake said.

"Darn it! And it didn't even work then either…."

Ice Queen's shrill cackle echoed in the ice chamber. She danced joyfully as she mocked Fiona. "Nice try, tomboy! Did you see that, princes? Did you see Fiona fail?"

"Don't worry, baby," Cake said. "I'll get us out, with key hand!" Cake stretched and morphed her hand into the shape of a key.

"Oh no you don't!" Ice Queen shot a beam of magic into the prison. It struck the cat, freezing her up to her neck in a block of solid ice. Cake hissed.

"Cake!" Fiona shouted. She glared at the woman on the other side of the bars, "Ice Queen, you've gone too far! You'd better set us free or come in here and fight me! 'Cause otherwise, I'm gonna totally flip out!" She rushed toward the door and pounded on the bars.

Ice Queen shrugged, ignoring her challenge. She headed for a doorway across the room. "Don't hurt yourself, girl. I'll be right back."

"ICE QUEEN!"

"Fiona!" Cake shouted.

Taking a deep breath, Fiona turned to her frozen friend. "Cake, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Calm down and tend to the princes."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. Princes. Are you all okay?"

They all muttered in unison that they were. Slime Prince inched forward. "She's held us here for weeks, questioning us about our favorite sports and quirky behavior. I've tried to tell her as little as possible."

Fiona nodded. "I understand." She glanced up at the lumpy purple blob that floated beside her. There was a gold star in his forehead and small mustache. "And Lumpy Space Prince, how are you holding out?"

He put his hands of his lumps and frowned. "I'm bored. And I'm not having any fun," he said in his odd voice.

"What?" Ice Queen's voice echoed in the room. They all turned to look at her as she approached the bars. "Not having any fun? Last night I read you the story of Baby What's-it and the Bottle Princess," she said holding up a children's book with badly drawn pictures.

Lumpy Space Prince stared at her, un-amused. He folded his arms. "That wasn't fun. That was lame."

"Other Princes, do you feel the same way?"

The others muttered together, nodding in agreement.

"Well here, watch," Ice Queen said, picking up her electronic keyboard. "I'll show you, we'll have some fun. Fun's my middle name." She set up the keyboard in front of the bars and gestured to Wildberry Prince. "Here now, Wildberry Prince, I need you to play this."

Wildberry Prince wrung his green hands nervously, the round berries on his body trembling with nervousness. "I don't think I know how…."

"Well come here, I'll show you."

He nervously approached the bars.

"Put your hands through the bars," Ice Queen said. He slowly reached through. Ice Queen took them and helped him push the keys in the right order. A light tune came from the instrument. "See? You just do it like this."

Wildberry Prince jerked his hands back. "I don't think I can…."

"You just play it like I showed you," she said softly.

"Leave him alone, Ice Queen!" Fiona shouted.

She summoned her magic and glared at the little prince in front of her. "Play it or I'll squish you into juice!"

"Oh dear…" he muttered.

Frightened, Wildberry Prince reached through the bars and played the tune exactly how Ice Queen had showed him. Ice Queen hurried into the other room and snatched up armfuls of other instruments—maracas, tambourine, kazoo, flute, triangle. She dumped them through the bars.

"That's better," she said. "Now everyone pick up an instrument and play it. This is going to be so fun!"

She skipped toward her drum set and picked up the drumsticks. The other princes all took up an instrument and hesitantly began to play. Fiona glanced around at all their forlorn faces. Ice Queen was oblivious to their misery as she pounded away on the drums. She knew she had to help them, but she didn't know how. Ice Queen seemed desperate enough to get the princes to like her and have fun. So maybe she could use it to her advantage. She screwed her eyes shut as she tried to think.

"What'cha think' about, girl?" Cake whispered.

"I'm devising a plan. And trust me, it's gonna be brilliant."

Cake grinned. "Sweet!"

Finally the music came to a climactic close. Ice Queen was grinning, obviously enjoying herself. The princes, on the other hand, were miserable. She laughed, positively giddy.

"Oh, that was fun!" she cried.

Now was her chance! "You're right," Fiona said. "It was fun. Why don't you go get some more fun stuff?"

Ice Queen grinned. "You're right! Good idea, Fiona." She walked through the door, a big smile on her face. As soon as she disappeared through the doorway, Fiona turned to the princes.

"Alright, I've got a plan for how to get out of here," she said in a hushed whisper. "First, everyone needs to be dancing and laughing and saying fun stuff like 'Whoopie!' Okay? When Ice Queen comes back, everyone play it up so that she'll wanna come inside the jail and party with us. And when she steps inside, WHAM! I'll beat the tar out of her while you all take care of Cake. Everyone on board?"

They all whispered in agreement.

"Nice plan, girl!" Cake said.

"I think if everyone's saying 'Whoopie', the plan won't work, 'cause she'll know we're faking it," Lumpy Space Prince said.

Fiona nodded. "Good point, LSP."

He continued. "I'm gonna say something fun like 'oh yeah! I'm having a fun time! Oh my gosh!'"

Ice Queen's footsteps echoed in the ice cave as she came back. Fiona nodded to the princes. They all started dancing and laughing. They pretended as though they were having the time of their lives. Fiona joined them, acting as if she was at a cool party.

Ice Queen hesitated when she came back into the room. "Hey, what's going on?"

"We're having fun!" Fiona said, a big grin on her face.

"Because I left the room?" Ice Queen muttered.

"Because they like it here," Cake said. "Because they like you. Because you're a really fun gal!"

Ice Queen frowned. "I don't get it."

"She's not buying it, dance harder," Fiona whispered.

As the boys danced their hearts out, Lumpy Space Prince floated closer to the prison bars. He gestured for Ice Queen to join them. He winked. "Come on in here and party."

"Wanna dance with us, Ice Queen?" Fiona asked.

Her eyes lit up. "Really? You want to dance with me?"

"Oh yeah!" Lumpy Space Prince said.

"Wow! Okay!"

Ice Queen unlocked the door and stepped into the ice prison. She started dancing with them. But before she could make it too far, Fiona punched her in the chin. The boys raced to the open door. Ice Queen shrieked, shooting bolts of ice from her hands in rage.

"Don't leave! I'll kill you all!" she screamed. Ice Queen glared at Fiona. "Why are you doing this?! Everyone was finally warming up to me!"

Fiona slapped her. "No way! That's totally not true! You're nuts, lady! You've gotta get it through your head—putting princes in jail is wrong!"

Ice Queen sprang to her feet, shouting in rage. "Fiona, you just ruined my chances with five or six potential husbands!" She gathered her magic. "For that, you will—"

Fiona punched her hard in the stomach. Ice Queen gasped, doubling over in pain. Fiona kicked her, knocking her against the cage. She hit her head on the bars and passed out, her magic tiara tumbling off her head. The princes cheered as they whittled away the ice imprisoning Cake. Once free of the ice, Cake stretched out the window. She expanded so she was large enough to carry everyone at once. The princes and Fiona climbed on her back and they all started off. No one wanted to be around when the Ice Queen woke up.

Fiona laughed. "I'm glad that's over with. Let's get you guys home."

"Thanks again for saving us, Fiona," Slime Prince said. "That was very brave."

She giggled. "Well, you know. It's my thing. But you're welcome. Hopefully that crazy old lady will learn to stop predatoring on dudes."

Cake laughed. "Fat chance! But we'll always be ready to kick some Ice Queen butt!"

"You bet, we will!"

Chapter 6 will be up on Friday!