Penny mind was ticking over like a scoreboard. The relentless ache in the pit of her stomach was unmistakable. She now knew how she felt about Sheldon. She lay in bed while the tight sensation built up inside her. Whatever happened between them, she had to break up with Leonard. They were stagnating. She was staying because it was easier. When did I become such a coward? she thought.
The relationship agreement was sitting on the coffee table where she had left it. She had never read the one Sheldon had given Amy. Although from what had been mentioned of it, this was a very different document. She rolled out of bed and walked towards it. Running her finger across the cover as if by doing so, she could somehow touch him.
Her phone was on the table beside it, she reached over.
A text from Amy.
'Date acquired. Facebook updated. Will keep you posted,' she sighed and got ready for work.
Raj and Leonard were sitting in the university café at lunchtime.
Howard approached and took a seat, "Hi guys," he said. "So Leonard, have you spoken to Sheldon today," he asked.
"Not since I drove him to work this morning, why?"
"Because Bernie told me he broke up with Amy."
"Nooooo!" said Raj.
"Really? He never said a word," he said. "He was really quiet on the journey but I was just thankful for the peace, so I didn't question it."
"Super villain quiet?" asked Howard with a quizzical look.
Raj sniggered.
"Oh god!" said Leonard to himself.
What?" Raj asked.
"Cats!"
They see Sheldon approaching, he placed his tray on the table and sat down next to Leonard.
"Hello."
"Hi Sheldon" said Leonard. "We heard about you and Amy. I'm sorry."
"Hmm, it's nice to see the prattle vine is still fully operational," he mocked.
"Please don't get cats," Leonard pleaded.
Sheldon signed. 'I have no intention of getting cats."
"But that's what you do!" groaned Leonard.
"I resent the implication that I'm a moggy-obsessed dolt."
"Okay I'm sorry…" he said. "…just don't get cats."
Sheldon gave him a glare.
"So why did you break up with Amy? I thought you too were like matching amoebas? said Howard.
Sheldon scoured, "It's all in the science, Howard."
"I don't follow."
"As you know, I have difficulty negotiating intercommunication. Therefore, I devised a system based on physicists instead. I was able to expand the fundamental geometrical symmetries of science and apply them to people."
"And that works?" he asked.
"Of course, I'm surprised I never thought of it before."
"Oh come on Sheldon, how would that work?" Leonard asked.
"It's simple really. The same patterns are reproduced in all levels of the cosmos, from the grandest to the most elementary. On a very basic level, the microcosm of human nature is identical to the macrocosm of the universe."
"Sheldon, that actually very profound," said Howard.
"I know."
Howard rolled his eyes.
"So how did Amy take it?"
"She's not pleased," he said with a crinkled expression. "Nevertheless I would very much like to continue my friendship with Amy, with her approval of course."
"That's very mature of you, Sheldon," said Leonard.
"Well, she has become a dear friend, just as we are best friends," he said turning towards Leonard.
"I guess…" said Leonard uncomfortably.
Just then Sheldon left eye started to twitch. He gathered up his bag and rushed out the door.
Leonard called after him but he didn't turn back. "Oh dear, Penny told me Amy was worried about him, but he seemed okay. I guess I was wrong."
"The guy is broken like a rose in the snow," said Raj. The guys frowned.
"He seems okay about the break up. It's almost like there's something else bothering him."
"He borrowed a load of films off me the last week," said Raj. "All about love."
"Get outta town!" said Howard.
"Maybe he was worried about their relationship." Leonard said.
"I didn't think of that," said Raj "but has Amy been sending any of you weird messages?" he asked.
"Not me."
"Nope."
"Listen to this "Surrender Raj, I dare you to deny it." And "I'm coming for you, be prepared."
Leonard and Howard looked over at each other.
"Holy crap! Do you think Amy's got a thing for you?" Howard asked.
Raj frowns.
"Maybe that's why they split up," said Leonard.
Raj looked stunned, "I don't think so."
"Well no one else is getting weird messages." Howard teased.
When Penny got to work she felt no better. The tightening in the pit of stomach hadn't subsided. She made the decision she would finish the morning shift and then make an excuse to go home. There was no point putting it off any longer, she had to know.
She texted Sheldon, "I need to see you. We have urgent things to talk about."
"When?" came his simple reply.
"Before Leonard gets back tonight."
"This afternoon?"
"Yes."
"I'll have to play hookey?"
"Yes you will," she typed smiling.
Once she had Sheldon's confirmation, she made her way home, showered and changed. There would be enough time before he arrived to prepare. She grabbed a notebook and a marker and started writing. Everything that had been rattling round in her head spilled out in a cascade.
Sheldon had to take the bus home, without his bus pants! It was horribly distressing and as soon as he got back he rushed straight into the bathroom to shower. Penny had heard his return and his scampering footsteps up the stairs to the apartment. Ignoring the tension that had now moved to her chest, she rose and made her way over. He was still in the shower so she sat down and waited.
He emerged some time later with a fresh set of clothes on, "Penny?" he exclaimed, surprised to see her already there.
"I hope you don't mind I let myself in."
"Not at all," he said sitting down in his spot next to her.
She looked at him for a moment and then handed him the relationship agreement.
He looked down at it and then back at her, "You can't sign while you are still with Leonard."
"I know, I haven't signed. I came to give you my amends."
"Amends?"
"Yes I've marked it up. I didn't have a pen so I used a marker…"
"A marker! He gasped. "This is a legally binding document Penny, you can't make changes with a marker" he started flicking through, sighing as he came across big red marker notes, in the columns of his agreement. "I'll have to type this up again."
"And these…she said. "…are my additions"
"Additions? he said "Amy never made any additions."
"I'm not Amy you know," she mocked.
"No, I suppose not," he said taking the pad.
"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" he asked, gathering everything into a neat pile.
"Not exactly."
She suddenly felt very nervous.
"Can I hug you?" she asked.
"No kissing," he warned.
"No kissing," she agreed.
Penny slid her arms around his middle and drew him close. A faint smell of sweet cucumber, waffled up from his clean skin. She resisted the temptation to nuzzle into his neck, not wanting to scare him away. She felt his arms wrap around her and rest lightly on her back. The knot in her chest released and she was overwhelmed, by a feeling of complete tranquilly. Everything stopped. She knew, this is where she wanted to be. This is who she wanted to be with.
"Penny," he said. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
She released him.
"I-I wanted too… why do you want to be my boyfriend?"
He looked at her, contemplating her question.
She continued, "Amy seems so perfect for you."
"No, she is not perfect for me." He said shaking his head sadly. "She does not grasp the fundamental reality of my being."
"I thought she knew everything about you"
"She attempts to train me to overcome my established routines. These habitual activities have taken me years to establish. They are the apparatus I use to decipher the complexities of the outer world. Removing them does not help me."
"I see. Have you ever told her?"
"Yes many times. I will never fully understand the aspects she attempts to install. She does not see this."
"Okay I'm starting to get it, but why me?"
"You always helped me."
"I did?"
"Yes because you are a consummate master of social nexus and all things I find unfathomable."
"I am?"
"Of course, your perception of linguistic or nonlinguistic forms is unparalleled."
"Well thank you Sheldon, that's the nicest thing you have said to me," she said. "…I think."
"But we are so different?' she continued.
"We are. I determine that we will argue 23.5% of the time but I don't object to this," he said.
"So, you want me to break up with Leonard?"
"I loath to injure him."
"So do I."
"…but this is my only chance."
"You only chance?" she asked.
"Statistically speaking it is highly unlikely another woman with your social integration will ever take the time to know someone like myself. Leonard has confessed to me the love of many women."
She nodded in agreement.
"This will never come to me again."
She felt her heart melt a little at his frank admission. He was right. She had inadvertently come to know Sheldon and it had only been because of Leonard.
"He made me know you."
"Yes and me, you."
"But he always wants more than I can give."
"The same can be said of Amy."
"Hmm, but Leonard is so jealous"
"And Amy is territorial."
"Leonard proposed to me during sex."
"That's nothing, Amy wishes to alter me for her own ends."
They both smirked.
"They are so alike," Penny said.
"And so wrong for us."
"You would never do that, would you?" she said looking at him with smiling eyes.
"I would not"
"Because we are not the sort of people who need constant reassurance from our partners."
"We do not require it."
They sat for a moment in silence.
Penny felt suddenly overwhelmed. "But I do…" she said, with tears welling up in her eyes. She turned to face him, "I love you Sheldon."
"Oh phew!" he gasped, "I love you, too."
He picked up a pen and suddenly starting flicking back through the relationship agreement, as if he had done little more than ask for a cup of tea.
"Sheldon," she whispered through misty eyes. "You love me?"
He looked over and gave her a quick nod and continued flicking.
After Penny left, Sheldon stood up and held the relationship agreement against his chest. Then he took it to his room for editing.