This is a long one but it's kind of important, so I didn't trim it down. We are getting close to the end.
Penny's alarm sounded and she jumped out of bed. It was Sunday morning and that meant Sheldon would be arriving in an hours' time. They were halfway through their courtship period already. It was flying by, a month and a half to go. This was going to be so easy, she thought.
After the first two weeks of 'anonymous' gifts, he had sent Bernadette to make a formal introduction and to invite her to promenade. Which she found out was a long walk, usually around a park. Sometimes she would drive them to the Huntington Botanical Gardens and they would walk around for hours. Every Sunday, he would turn up at 10am sharp. She had told her boss, she could no longer take Sunday morning shifts. He seemed a little irritated initially, but the other girls had covered her so it hadn't caused a problem.
Today, they went to the gardens again. Sheldon held out his arm, so she could hook her arm, over his. He much preferred hooking arms to holding hands, he told her.
They strolled along very slowly, falling into a natural rhythm. He always managed to find a spot, where there were very few other people and sometimes lead them to sit down on a bench, in the Australian garden.
Today he placed his hand over hers and although they didn't talk at first, he glanced over from time to time.
"You have not sent me on any quests this week," he said eventually.
"Fetching me that Black Forest cake at 3am, was a pretty demanding quest," she replied.
"There must be something additional you desire, besides diabetes?"
"Sheldon, that was sarcasm! I'm impressed."
He smiled contentedly.
"There's still the task to get our friends back, but I don't expect the impossible."
"I am fully engaged on that," he said. "…anything further?"
"I only want you," she answered with a smile.
"You have me, in principle," he said shyly.
"I have thought about it, but there's nothing. Well, nothing you can help me with anyway," she said.
He stopped, "Penny, I am adept in all forms of problem solving, including pattern recognition, abstract, lateral, and spatial reasoning. I can help with anything."
She looked into those eyes, which had become so familiar these last few weeks and sighed.
"Tell me," he urged.
"I just want a better life."
They continued to walk, as Sheldon thought on her words.
That very evening, Amy arrived at 8pm outside Penny's door. She paused to settle her nerves, took a deep breath and knocked. When Penny opened the door to see her standing there, she was visibly taken aback.
"A-Amy!" she stuttered.
"Hello Penny."
"Come in, come in," she said quickly moving aside for her.
"Thank you, I know it's been a while."
"It's great to see you," Penny said, "d-do you want a glass of wine?"
"Sure, why not."
Penny grabbed a bottle and two glasses and made her way to the couch. The two girls had not seen each other since that night. She had texted Amy, once in a while but not received a reply. Penny opened the wine. She rarely had a bottle open these days. Sheldon didn't drink and since the girls' nights stopped, she had no call for it. As she filled up their glasses, her hand was shaking slightly.
Amy took the glass and drunk the whole thing down in one. "Penny," she said, as she plonked it back down, "I've just been to see Sheldon."
"Oh!" Penny said. Her mouth went dry.
"He knows!"
"Knows?"
"About the Operations! He contacted me a few days ago, asking if I would come over tonight to discuss our friendship. He'd worked out the whole harebrained scheme."
"Amy, I'm totally lost," she Penny looking blankly.
"I've been spying on you," she said, "you and Sheldon!"
Penny's mouth fell open; she didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry," Amy said.
"Ames, it's okay," she said on automatic.
"He said you'd say that."
"He was right," Penny said, smiling as she thought of Sheldon. She refilled Amy's glass.
"Sheldon was checking locations via military satellite and calculating probable pedestrian numbers, prior to departure on your Sunday walks. I told Leonard, he would figure it out eventually."
"Leonard!" said Penny sighing.
"Don't be too hard on him, he's having a hard time with this. He wants you back," Amy said.
"Oh god. It's our fault. You must want Sheldon back as well. I feel terrible knowing I hurt both of you," she said.
"I don't want Sheldon back!"
"Don't you? I-I don't understand." She gasped, "Then why were you spying on us?"
"Oh Penny, I just got carried away. No one had ever asked me to do anything that exciting and naughty before. Not since Maureen Pomeroy in elementary school told me if I released the bunnies, she'd be my friend forever."
Penny took a sip of wine. "So what did you do?"
"I released them!" she beamed, "but then the teacher called my mother and I got banned from Pet Day. Needless to say, Maureen didn't live up to her side of the bargain."
Penny gave her a smile. "So you really don't want Sheldon back?"
"Not anymore," she said. "All my life I have been waiting for the Maureen Pomeroy's of this world to accept me, to allow me access to their lives. When I met Sheldon, I thought all that was over. Yet as soon as I wanted something tangible from him, there it was again. No matter how hard I try, he will always hold something back. Even if I eventually get what I want, I will always know it was not given spontaneously. I realize now, Sheldon is an extension of that past. Another Maureen. Another yard full of escaped bunnies."
Penny smirked at the visual comparison, in spite of herself.
"Besides, he doesn't feel the same way about me, as he does about you."
"Did he say that?"
"Mostly using quantum equations, but I got the picture," she said.
Penny gave her a kindly look. "What are you going to do now?"
"Well, I've been waiting for my life to start since high school. I'm damn tired of waiting," said Amy.
Penny nodded in agreement and smiled. "Here's to," she said, raising her glass, "No more waiting!"
"And, no more chasing bunnies!" said Amy. They both took a big swig.
"You know what, Ames?"
"What?"
"You really are my bestie."
The next day, Penny was finishing a rather quiet shift when her boss said, "Penny, you've got a call."
Who would be calling me at work, she thought? She took the receiver and a rather screechy woman said, "Is that Penny?"
"Yes."
"I am calling about a medical emergency, concerning Dr Sheldon Cooper. I was told you are his new emergency contact?"
"Oh my god, is he okay?"
"He says he's has Mycotoxicoses."
"Sorry?" said Penny.
"He says, it means food poisoning, but it could just be indigestion knowing this one. He wants you to come and pick him up. What do you want me to tell him?"
"Urm," Penny thought, "Tell him, I'll be right there."
Penny told her boss the situation and drove straight over to the university to collect him. If this was one of his false alarms, she would be really angry. He couldn't just call her up like that; she wouldn't run round after him like Amy had.
When she arrived he was sitting on a fence by the gate, looking pale. She opened the car door and rushed over. "Sheldon, are you okay?" she said.
"I-I didn't want too…" he said holding a bag over his mouth.
"Come on, I'll get you home."
Penny drove him back to the apartment, as he muttered a few words here and there. He really did look bad. She helped him upstairs and towards the bedroom but he rushed away from her, into the bathroom. There was the sound of him throwing up. And a little while later, he was attempting to gargle something.
Knock, knock, "Sheldon?" Penny called out, after a few minutes of silence had past, "Can I come in?"
"No, that won't be necessary. You can go now."
Why won't he let me help him? This wasn't like Sheldon, he usually insisted on being looked after, to the point where he would drive her nuts. "I can't leave you like this, I'll make some tea." She went to the kitchen and decided on peppermint, to help settle his stomach. Also pouring a large glass of water, in case he couldn't drink the tea.
While she was filling the kettle, he exited the bathroom and staggered towards his bedroom, with bumps and knocks along the way. Penny put down the kettle and went to help, but he was already slumped on to the bed, curling up in a fetal position.
"Where are your Monday pajamas?" she asked.
"Top left," he said.
She grabbed them out of the drawer and left them on the bed. "You put those on, and I'll make that tea," she said.
"Okay."
When she returned he was in bed, looking pale and clammy. She set the drinks down and felt his forehead. It was very warm.
"This won't do…" he mumbled, "…this won't do at all."
"What won't do?"
"You being here….I'm courting you… I should be..."
"You're too sick to be courting me, sweetie."
"The hero doesn't get sick," he moaned.
"You can be the hero tomorrow," she said softly.
He muttered something inaudible.
"Shell I sing you, 'Soft Kitty?'" she asked, but he had already drifted off.
Sheldon woke a couple of hours later. He glanced about the room still feeling a little groggy. Penny wasn't there. Whatever had made him violently ill, had been expelled from his body. He felt a lot better, almost normal in fact, apart from the terrible dehydration. He sat up and reached for the glass of water she had left. Next came, the cold tea. Lying back momentarily, he did a quick calculation of everything he had eaten for lunch. Then, everything the guys ate. It had to be the mayonnaise; it was the only variance. He would report it at once. At that moment, Penny peered around the door. "Oh you're awake," she said.
"I just woke up," he said.
"Do you still feel like throwing up?"
"No," he said, "thank you for looking after me."
"That's okay sweetie, I'll run you a bath," she said, disappearing out the door before he could protest. He definitely needed a bath, or more precisely, a shower. He never took baths; he preferred to stand so he could see the dirt draining away. The taps were already running in the bathroom. "Penny!" he called out.
"Uh-huh?" she said, coming back in to his room.
"I don't take baths."
"Don't worry, I'll make it bubbly. I won't see anything," she winked and left again.
Sheldon froze. Is she going to bathe me? He felt much better now and could definitely bathe himself. He remembered Amy's deception over bathing. It was a human weakness, which he had not fully comprehended at the time. He would explain to her, he was perfectly capable of washing himself.
Penny rushed next door to find some bubble bath. 'Lavender and Jasmine' or 'Mango and Papaya'. No. There had to be something else, she found another bottle, 'Sea Minerals'. This was the one; it sounded the least feminine. Quickly returning to the other bathroom, she opened the cap and poured several large blue dollops into the running bath. The bubbles built up quickly, into a dense fluffy cloud. It was ready.
"Okay mister, this time I'm helping you, no arguments…" she said, pulling back the covers and sliding a hand around his waist, to help him up.
"But…"
"No arguments!" she said. She leaned his weight against her, as he stood up and directed him towards the bathroom. Sitting him down on the closed toilet lid.
"Now you're going to have to take off your pajamas."
He gave her a wide-eyed stare.
"It's okay, I'll turn my back. You can hold on to me, if you need to steady yourself."
She turned her back, closed her eyes and waited. There was a very long pause and then he said, "Okay," in a faint voice.
She felt an arm on her left shoulder and the faint sound of fabric. He was taking a very long time. Probably trying to fold his pajamas with one hand, she thought.
"Leave them, I'll fold them later."
"Are you peeking?"
"No, it was just a guess," she said.
Next she heard the swirling of water and his hand pressed down firmly and then released from her shoulder. "You can open your eyes," he said.
He was lying there completely immersed in bubbles, up to his bare shoulders. He looked almost elatedly. She sat down on the floor next to him. "How's the bubble bath?"
"Unexpectedly pleasant," he said. "Completely impractical for cleaning oneself however."
Penny smiled. "Sit up," she ordered. She helped him into a sitting position. Grabbing a fresh cloth from the cupboard, she then dunked it in the bath water and applied some liquid soap. He was watching every move she made with intensity. As she began to rub the cloth in circular motions, over his left shoulder, he started to laugh. This set Penny off. "Stop it, I can't do this if you're laughing," she said sweetly.
He became quieter and stopped.
"I'll just do the top half, you can do the rest," she said.
"Naturally."
"I like your shoulders," she said, in a flirtatious tone, "…and you arms."
"That's good… is it not?"
'Yes, it is."
She did like his shoulders, a lot. She liked his back, his neck, his arms.
He cupped some water into his hands and splashed it over his face and head, bubbles and all. His eyelashes went darker, sticking together with water. She liked that too. She liked his wet hair. She liked how the bathroom steam flushed his lips. She liked the way he was looking at her. Moving forward, she pressed her lips on to his wet mouth. It felt hot against hers and wonderful. She took in one long delicious kiss and sighed. Then sat back down on the floor, suddenly aware that she was inches away from a naked man.
Oh god! I'm totally taking advantage, she thought. He's sick. What am I doing? She knew what she wanted to be doing, as he looked back at her, with those big eyes.
Suddenly, her phone vibrated in her back pocket and she jumped out of her skin. Quickly removing it, she saw that it was Amy calling.
"Hello Amy," she said, standing up quickly and leaving the bathroom. She closed the door behind her.
"Penny, oh no… I heard, sorry…I forgot to say…Leonard texted… 'it's on'… oh dear."
"Amy, slow down. What is it?"
"Sheldon!" she said. "I forgot to tell you, I made you his new emergency contact."
"Oh that," said Penny. "It's okay, don't worry about it."
"I thought you'd be upset, I hadn't warned you."
"No, it's fine. I took him home and now I'm just giving him a bath. It's all worked out, my boss wasn't even mad."
"A bath?" Amy asked.
"Yes, he's been sick and…"
"Sheldon doesn't take baths! He says they are akin to lying in a puddle of your own filth."
"Well, he's in one now…"
"He's faking it!"
"What?"
"He's faking being sick, so you'll wash him."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I invented that little routine. Oh yes!"
"You did?" said Penny.
"Yup, he got that from me," Amy said.
"Huh."
"You'd better nip it in the bud, before he's visiting saunas and going to late night Jacuzzi parties."
Penny smiled. "Sure, will do Ames."
When she hung up the phone, she was still smiling to herself. Is he faking it? She didn't mind if he was. She went back into the bathroom to find him looking at her with a hesitant expression. "I don't want to be spanked," he said.
"What?" she said.
"Nothing."
She knelt down and picked up the cloth from the baths edge and without another word, began to foam up his back. His lovely smooth back, she loved that back, she thought. A month and a half to go! This wasn't going to be as easy as she thought.