Chapter 10 - Shindig
A/N Most of the actual action in this episode takes place off the ship with Mal and Inara, so it's not included, as such, here. We'll be developing some characters and relationships, some big episodes coming up for our favorite duo though.
Santo – Qin Shi Huang System – Early September 2517
The ship had made a quick stop on Santo on their way to their "base" at Persephone. Santo was the only planet in the Qin Shi Huang System, although it had two moons of its own.
They'd delivered a small cargo here, and Mal had decided to stay the night before headin' out ta tha Lux System and Persephone.
In what was a sure sign of their growin' friendship, Mal had invited Jayne out for a drink. Not Mal, Zoe, and Jayne. Just Mal and Jayne. Were a bit of a surprise, truth be told, and what were more of a surprise was that Inara, Inara, had wanted to tag along.
It was obvious, well at least ta Jayne and River, and bein' a reader mebbe helped there, that there was somethin' between The Cap'n and The Companion. Somethin' they refused ta admit, mayhaps even ta themselves. River called it somethin' from the "days of our lives" or somesuch, which the girl found mighty hi-larious. Jayne didn't know what she was talkin' on, his ownself, but it made the jingling laugh so it musta been good.
So here they was, playin' holo pool with two hun dun's, in a bar full of hun dun's, while the elegant Companion watched on from her perch at the bar.
Serenity's Head a Security took a gulp a his considerable drink as he tuned back inta what one of tha other men, a Cap'n his ownself, was sayin'.
"Didn't hardly have to convert the ship, even." the other Captain, Wright, started as he aimed his cue for a shot. "Six in the corner pocket." he stated. "Stronger locks, thicker doors, keep everybody where they're supposed to be. Don't even need more rations…"
Wright was about to take his shot when the holo pool balls flickered.
"Hey!' he exclaimed, lookin' at the barkeep, as Jayne did his ownself.
The barkeep was not impressed, only pointin' to a crude sign which said, in Alliance Standard (English and Chinese):
"MANAGEMENT NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR BALL FAILURE"
Sighing, Wright took his shot and missed.
"Flicker threw me off." was his excuse.
It were the Capn's turn, but Jayne wanted ta know more 'bout exactly what these two had been upta. Sounded awful much like slavers. If true, they'd hafta pay.
"Ya made money huh?" he asked Wright.
"Hand over fist, my friend. Rim worlds need labor. Terraforming crews got a prodigious death rate."
"Side pocket." Mal bumped inta Wright as he moved around ta take his shot. He took it, it were good. "Labor. Ya mean slaves."
It weren't a question. Seems the Cap'n were on that same page. Shiny.
Wright and his man, Holder, chuckled.
"They wasn't volunteers, for damn sure."
Mal's voice was cold as he took another shot.
"That why ya didn't hafta lay in more rations?"
"I didn't hear no complaints."
Wright and Holder let out full, loud, laughs at Wright's "joke".
Mal missed his shot, and headed over ta Inara.
It were an easy shot, Jayne thought. Well, tha funs about ta start, best get The Companion outta tha place before it erupts. Some stallin' required.
"How much money?" he asked. "Lots?"
Mal was fumin'. Slavers. Well, they're about ta get theirs. He strode over ta Inara, casual like.
"There's a chance ya may wanna head back ta the ship."
"Oh, I'm alright." she smiled. "This is entertaining, actually."
The Cap'n was intrigued.
"Yeah? What's entertainin'?"
"I like watching the game." The Companion started. "As with other situations, the key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back." she finished as ran her eyes approvingly over Serenity's Head of Security.
Mal didn't miss that shot, and whether it was genuine, or whether it was ta rile him up some, didn't matter none. He stepped in front of Inara to block her view of tha big man.
"Still," he said, movin' inta her personal space, "think ya oughtta clear out 'fore too much longer. Seems there's a thief about."
"A thief?"
"He took this right off 'em." the Cap'n deadpanned as he waved a wad of cashy money at Inara. "They earned that with the sweat of their slave-tradin' brows."
"Mal!" Inara cried, shocked even at her petty thief's actions.
"Terrible shame. 'Course they won't notice 'til they go pay for their next drink…"
Which, unfortunately, seemed to be right at that moment, as Wright's hand fell heavily on Mal's shoulder. The Cap'n had time for one more witty remark to Inara, before all hell broke loose.
"Good drinker, that one." he said to Inara, then spun around quickly, landin' an almighty thump onta Wright's jaw.
It was on.
Holder went ta blind side Jayne with his pool cue. He coulda dealt with that one in his sleep. He ducked easily, then kicked Holder in the gut, sendin' him flyin'. Another of Wright's men charged at Jayne, who dispatched him with his pool cue. A third, much large man, came on, attemptin' to kick Jayne in his own gut. Catchin' the man's huge leg easily, Jayne knocked him out cold with a massive forearm of his own ta tha head.
Jayne was havin' a wonderful time. Only thing that would make it better if tha jingling was here ta see.
The two Cap'ns, meanwhile, were goin' at it in the corner. It were an even fight, Mal eventually getting' the upper hand after pullin' Wright's duster over his head, temporarily blindin' him. This allowed Serenity's Captain ta get in a series a blows, disablin' tha slaver captain. Sensin' it was time ta go, Mal surveyed the area, saw Jayne was good, grabbed Inara and headed for tha door.
Seein' The Cap'n had won his battle and was good ta go, The Head a Security was not quite finished. Wright's last man, a little guy, thought Jayne was distracted and tried to smash him with a pool cue. Smilin', the big man easily dodged the ineffective attack, punchin' the man in the face before throwin' him fair across the room and over the bar, smashin' the large mirror at tha back.
As Serenity's trio headed out it was Inara who had the last word, tellin' the less than impressed, but suitably scared, barkeep, "Lovely place, I'll tell my friends."
Persephone – Lux System – Two Days Later
Some would say Persephone was like a second home to them that was on Serenity. Cap'n would disagree. "We sniff tha air, we don't kiss tha dirt." That was his official opinion on tha place.
The Lux system was tha outermost of tha Inner Systems – basically tha gateway from tha Inner Systems ta tha Border Worlds, and hence ta Tha Rim. A lot a work fer tha old Firefly originated on Persephone.
It were a strange place. A mixture a Core and Rim, ya could find whatever ya wanted, be it legal or not, if ya knew where ta look – or who ta ask.
That were tha good side. Tha not so good side was that it were fair crawlin' with Alliance, of every description. A dangerous place fer known fugitives, and fer them that was harborin' said fugees.
Tha deal was, resupply, look fer a job, be off world on a day or two. Tha usual. Only this was the first time they'd been back here since they'd picked up tha Tam's. Or was it been picked up by the Tam's. Jayne shook his head. Didn't matter none. They was here, girl was here, and he wouldn't change that for all the platinum in Londonium.
Her dumbass brother was, as usual, cataloguin' supplies in the Infirmary, so he'd taken the opportunity ta slip inta her room ta make sure she knew how it was goin' down.
She knew he was comin', a course. Tried not ta read his mind, she said, but she always seemed ta know where he was. Well, most times anyways. Another thing he really didn't mind none. As he came through the door he was jumped, findin' hisself bein' aggressively hugged in no time flat.
"Gorram it woman, git offa me!' he said, but made no move ta break the contact.
River just giggled as she held on tight.
"Fine." he grumped, and returned the embrace. "Ya gonna be the death a me if'n anyone walks in."
The psychic broke apart slightly and gave him her best boob look. "Do not worry Bao hu zhe." she said as tapped her temple.
Jayne grumpily pulled her bag inta the hug, but was secretly pleased. Well, pleased, weren't really too many secrets ta be had, he supposed.
"Look, this here planet's crawlin' with gorram Alliance. But we do a lotta business here. Shepherd's gonna lock the boat up tight while we's gone. Don't leave. Even if I've been kidnapped by Reavers, ok?"
The girl's grip tightened considerably on him at that. She was way stronger than she looked, which wasn't hard, really. Still, he knew he'd said the wrong thing.
"I ain't gonna be kidnapped by Reavers, baby girl, but whatever happens, don't leave the ship, dong ma? I might be able ta tear apart a border moon and find ya if'n that was needed, but if they get ya here ya liable ta be got fer good, ok. Ya hear me girl?"
He could feel her noddin' slightly inta his chest.
"Good." he said, as he kissed the top of her head. "I gots me plenty a coin, so I'm gonna go get some fresh food, and we can have a cookin' lesson, with real food, later, ok?"
"That would be most agreeable, Bao hu zhe. And I will take it as your word that you will not be kidnapped, by Reavers or otherwise."
"JAYNE! Where are ya? C'mon, time ta go!" Mal's was a mite tetchy. Didn't usually mind bein' on Persephone none, but the fugees changed that a bit.
"Ya know where the clip for Ingrid is if'n ya need it. I trust ya on that. Gotta go girl, be good."
"I know, I will, and be safe, Bao hu zhe."
One more quick hug and he was gone. River sighed in contentment, worried about being so close to so many Alliance officials, but happy to be so close to one big, gruff, Head of Security.
Streets of Persephone – That Afternoon
Wash had seen to the fuelin' of tha old Firefly that mornin'. Kaylee had been unable to scare up any cheap spare parts, so it was time fer tha Crew ta do their supply run.
They'd gotten what small supplies they'd needed, includin' the fresh food Jayne wanted. The whole Crew were happy with that, it meant a good meal tonight, fer which they were much obliged.
Kaylee, Zoe and Wash were leadin' the way back ta tha Mule, with Jayne and The Cap'n bringin' up tha rear. They gots to carry the heavy stuff a course.
The wimmin folk, Wash included in that bunch, ground ta a halt in front of a fancy dress shop.
"Ooh! Look at the pretties!' Kaylee cried.
Jayne tuned tha entire conversation out. His thoughts were on tha jingling. She should be wearin' such fancified clothes, goin' ta balls and whatnot. Not gallivantin' around tha 'Verse on an old mid-bulk with a bunch a petty thieves, doin' crime. It weren't fair. Jayne shook his head, yet again. Nope, weren't fair. But the 'Verse weren't fair. It just was. And she'd just have ta deal with the hand she was dealt. A 'course the girl now had some help in that regard.
He smiled at that as he absentmindedly loaded tha Mule at Mal's request. Tha wimmin folk, Wash again included in that bunch, drove off in a huff once the Mule was loaded, leavin' The Cap'n and The Head a Security alone. Apparently Mal had put his foot in it somehow, Jayne didn't care none about that.
He didn't care about the feelin's of any of tha Crew, as it appeared someone, behind them, had cocked a whole passell a guns.
Mal and Jayne turned ta see Badger, a fine hat on his head and a large smile on his face. The little weasel had every reason ta smile. He'd gotten tha drop on Serenity's duo, three a his lads had 'em dead ta rights.
"Badger." The Cap'n nodded.
"Captain Reynolds." The cockney weasel returned the greetin'. "Heard you was in town. Thought we might have a bit of a sit down."
The Cap'n was not impressed.
"I'd prefer a bit of a 'piss off'."
Badger smiled, but it didn't meet his eyes.
"I'm very sorry. Did I give you the impression I was askin'?"
Go se, Jayne thought. I've just been kidnapped!
Serenity – Cargo Bay – Same Time
River was happy. With no one aboard save for her ge ge and The Shepherd, she was able, for once, to indulge herself and dance. Neither was in attendance in the cargo bay, the girl could probably still dance with her ge ge watching, but she did not have the confidence as yet to do so with any other watching her performance, besides Bao hu zhe of course.
The young woman was happy for another reason. Bao hu zhe was sure to have purchased real food, which meant another cooking lesson! River enjoyed the tactile aspect of her cooking lessons a great deal, as she knew Jayne did. Oh yes, it would be most gratifying for the pair.
Leaping and twirling, she was losing herself in the motion when a powerful thought hit her, causing her steps to falter.
Kidnapped!
The psychic tried to keep a low level bond with her Bao hu zhe whenever possible. Nothing too detailed, just a general indication as to his wellbeing. To get such a specific meaning meant an enormous spike of feeling on his end.
Trying to keep her rising panic under check, River gracefully moved over to Jayne's weight bench and sat down, cross legged. It would help her concentrate. She opened her mind and let it roam, searching out her Bao hu zhe.
He was found quickly enough, and she relaxed. Kidnapped? Not quite. He was at tea – forcibly – but at tea nonetheless – with Badger. River was amused. Bao hu zhe was not concerned at his present predicament, as such. He was concerned at what she would think of the coincidental turn of events, however.
River relaxed and smiled to herself. Bao hu zhe should be concerned. She was going to tease him mercilessly!
The Den of Badger – At Tea
The two men had been escorted, firmly but politely, inta the oft seen den of tha little weasel. This time was a little different from that last though. This time, they was almost like honored guests.
Jayne was mighty amused.
As was Mal, especially when Badger himself poured them tea.
"Seems to me," Mal said, "last time there was a chance for a little palaver, we were all manner of unwelcome."
Before Badger could reply, Jayne spoke up.
"That's not bad." he said as he gulped his tea, genuinely impressed.
The little cockney chose to answer the big man.
"There's a trick to it. Wood alcohol."
"Now, we're favored guests," Mal continued, "treated to the finest in beverages that make you blind. So what is it you need?"
Jayne ignored the two men as he took the opportunity to stock up on cookies, finger sandwiches, and tea laced with wood alcohol. Ah, good dinin'!
The two men for their part ignored him and got down to business.
"There's this local," Badger started, "name of Warwick Harrow. He's got some property he wants to sell off-planet, to fetch a higher price."
"But the local power won't let him sell off-world." Mal finished.
"It's a conundrum." Badger continued. "What my man Harrow needs hisself is a smuggler. I'm willing to cut you in on it."
"Why me?" the Browncoat asked. "You've got access to ships. You could do it yourself."
"He won't deal with me direct. Taken an irrational dislike."
"What happened?" Jayne interrupted? "He see your face?"
Mal couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at Badger's shocked look.
"He's a quality gent. Nose in the air like he never wun gwo pee. Don't find me respectable. You, I figure, you got a chance."
Mal shook his head.
"You backed out of a deal, last time. Left us hangin'."
"Hurt our feelin's." Jayne nodded his agreement.
"You recall why that took place?" Mal asked, still smilin' at Jayne's antics.
Badger was quick to his own defence. "I had a problem with your attitude, is why. Felt you was, what's the word?" He looked around, confusion on his face.
"Pretentious." Jayne supplied.
Mal looked at his Head of Security, shocked. Where did that word come from? It only took him a second or two ta make tha connection. Tha Core girl, River. They been spendin' an awful amount a time together these past few weeks. Seems like the teachin' was a two way street. Good. They'd scored a decent cook, and an upgraded Head a Security. Shiny.
"Exactly!" the little crime lord cried. "You think you're better than other people."
"Just the one's I'm better than." Mal deadpanned. "And now I'm thinkin' that very quality is tha one ya placin' value on taday."
Badger wasn't backin' down in the negotiations.
"I place value on the fact that the stick up your pi gu is 'bout as large as the one Harrow's got."
Neither was The Cap'n.
"How would you even set up a meet? Man won't even deal with ya."
"I know a place he'll be. Safe place, using some new tech gun scans. High class, too. They wouldn't let me in there, but you might slip by. 'Course you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle. But I got my hands on a couple."
Badger leaned back, impressed with hisself.
Mal looked at Jayne, who looked back at Mal. Suddenly; they both burst out laughin' uncontrollably.
It took the little weasel a crime a couple a seconds ta catch on.
"Of invites!" he said as his face turned red. "Ya want the meetin' or not?"
The deal was done, and the meet was on.
Serenity – Common Room – That Night
Turned out tha meet with tha new contact was at a highly unusual place. A beautiful ball, held at a stately manner. It was ta be tha social event of tha year.
One person very interested in the place, and event, was Lil Kaylee. Cap'n needed ta attend, and he needed an escort. So Lil Kaylee gots to get that pink dress with tha ruffles she had seen earlier that day. And best of all, the Cap'n paid.
Cap'n was very interested in tha ball his ownself. Tha meet was there, sure. But just as important to Mal was that this also happened to be Inara's destination for tha evenin'. She had been engaged by some very high flyer, name of Atherton Wing, ta hang off his arm, so he's could pretend like he'd won her over, fair and square. No doubt the rest a them fancible folk would go along with the charade.
Yep, Mal was real interested ta see how that played out.
Lil Kaylee sure cleaned up nice, Jayne was very proud a tha way his little adopted mei mei looked in her new dress. Serenity's mechanic would outshine all a those rich gals, if not with her beauty, then definitely with her personality and her kind nature.
Cap'n better look after her there, or I might have ta pound on him some if she comes back unhappy, Jayne thought.
So off they went, and while they was off playin' rich folks, Jayne, Book, and The Doc settled down fer a game a tall card.
Jayne still didn't like the little pansy ass Doc none, and he was sure the feelin' was mutual like. But he knew his stuff, and Jayne respected him professionally fer that. And his sister had let it slip that The Doc respected Jayne's abilities to protect them. Jayne of course had another reason to give that Doc a little slack, that bein' the girl her ownself.
The two had not-declared an unofficial truce, and that was how they had come to be playin' tall card together, with no intentions of murderlising each other and mayhaps only minimal use of barbs. Mebbe havin' The Shepherd on hand had somethin' ta do with it as well.
It was a fairly amiable way ta pass tha time until the Cap'n and Lil Kaylee returned from tha soiree with news a the job, and playin' fore chores made it a mite interestin'.
River was in the kitchen, watching her two favorite men interact.
Pleased that they were past their open hostility stage, she sure that one day they would become, if not friends, then certainly allies. She was also pleased Simon had given up his insistence on a drug regime, not that he had a choice, and that had allowed the fabric of their relationship to heal. They were not as close as they once were, and could never be again, but River was very pleased there were no longer any unnecessary obstacles between them.
She loved her brother very much, and would be eternally grateful for the organising of her rescue, but his insistence on drugs being the cure for her ailments was short sighted at best.
What she was not pleased about, however, was that the promised cooking lesson had not materialised. There was also some off feeling that had colored her mind, and she hadn't been able to figure out what that was about.
She looked at the tinned food in the kitchen where the real food for her cooking lesson with Jayne should be, and wasn't, and that made her angry. Illogical, but insistent. Mumbling to herself she started banging the tins on the bench, and ripping some of the labels off.
That brought her antics to the attention of tha three men. Jayne had his back ta tha kitchen and couldn't see what was goin' on. He weren't overly concerned at this point.
"River!" Simon cried, and went to go to his sister.
"Sit down, Doc." Jayne ordered, without turnin' around. "Tha girl's the Cook, she's in tha kitchen, let her do what she wants. Her responsibility."
Serenity's Cook stopped her mumbling, tearing of labels, and banging of tinned food.
"You, Bao hu zhe, are the cause of this angst and you are not to try and command this situation! You promised a cooking lesson, with real food, and you have reneged on your promise!"
"Bao hu zhe?" Simon asked.
Jayne wasn't pleased none that River's name for him had got out, but it were innocent enough, if ya didn't know the full context, he supposed.
"Yeah, I'm tha Head a Security for this here ship, ain't I? I protect the Crew, the passengers, the cargo.."
"I suppose.." Simon was not quite convinced, but decided to let it slide, for now.
"Perhaps you should be no longer Bao hu zhe, but Chengnuo duanlu qi!"
The yellin', bangin' and whatnot had been loud enough ta bring Wash and Zoe down from tha Bridge, and they arrived just in time ta see a small tin, of what was later determined ta have been peaches, sail through tha air and hit Jayne plumb in tha back of tha head.
Tha big man jumped up with a growl and stormed inta the kitchen. All present were certain the girl was in no danger, but Zoe rested her hand on her Mare's Leg, just in case.
Grabbin' the genius cook's shoulders, Jayne looked inta her eyes and most of that anger drained outta him.
"Gorram it woman, what tha ruttin' hell was that fer?"
The girl was contrite.
"I am sorry Bao hu zhe. I was so looking forward to our lesson that I let the disappointment get the better of me. My mind is clouded with thoughts of those who are not of this ship but who are, or who wish to be, and the monthly flows of life have returned, and that is confusing and complicating, and I do not wish for further confusion and complications, and I wish to have a cooking lesson, and just to be normal woman, for I am not a girl, I am a woman!"
A single tear ran down her cheek as she broke free from Jayne's grip and ran for her room.
Jayne's heart just about broke at tha look in her eyes just before she ran. He wanted ta go ta her, but couldn't. It prolly weren't tha best thing anyways. Funny thing, though, he didn't think it were a feng le moment, just a normal girl, er woman, moment.
"I thought she was getting better." Simon began, "I better go to her."
"Leave her be Doc." Jayne ordered.
"I don't think you are an expert Jayne, on the broken psyche."
"The Doctor should see to his sister." Book agreed.
"Nope, I ain't no expert on tha broken mind. But why fore ya have ta think that's what happened. Seems ta me she just had a hissy fit. I done promised her a cookin' lesson, but we couldn't have it 'cause Mal and Kaylee are off at tha ball. So she's angry. It's normal like. So I ain't no fancy pants Doc, but I know more than tha two a you…" he motioned ta the Doctor and the Shepherd, "about women, and prolly have since I was thirteen. So just leave her be."
Jayne sat down, pretty sure he was right. At least ta why she was angry.
Zoe agreed, but she was also pretty sure all tha men, Wash included in that bunch, had missed the "monthly flows of life" comment. She'd take it up later in private with the Doctor once she had spoken with River, if she agreed.
"Hate ta think Jayne's our resident expert of womanly behaviour, but I see it tha same way. Jayne was a hun dun who promised and didn't deliver." There was no heat in the words. "River got angry. Happens. I'll go check in on her in a bit."
Cargo Bay – Midnight
Jayne was still a mite angry at how the evenin' had turned out. Gorram woman had thrown a fit, and a can a peaches, and ruined a perfectly middlin' game a tall card.
He was workin' through some sets a pull-ups when he noticed a particular smell. It were the faint smell a cinnamon, someone's shampoo, and he kinda liked it, truth be told.
"Ya gonna just stand there and stare woman?"
River said nothing. The young woman had had a talk with Zoe, and at least a portion of her troubles were now less confusing, and for that she was grateful. The implants the Academy inserted to regulate her cycles, amongst other things, appeared to have expired, Zoe was sure that her and the other women aboard the ship would be able to sort out that particular dilemma for the young woman.
Realising she had acted poorly earlier, she had come to apologise, not wanting her Bao hu zhe to go to his sleep cycle angry with her.
"You are not a Chengnuo duanlu qi. I am sorry for saying so."
The former Merc stopped his pull-ups and walked over to her. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear and smiled.
"I am. It weren't my fault but I am. I ain't gonna apologise none fer it, all I can say is that when The Cap'n and Lil Kaylee are back safe and sound, we can have tha cookin' lesson. Wouldn'ta be fair to use up tha real food if they ain't here, dong ma?"
"Wo dong." the genius replied. "Sometimes it all gets to be too much for me to handle…."
"Can't say I know exactly how you mean, baby girl…" he started as he pulled her inta a hug, "but I'll try and be here fer ya, even if'n I am the 'cause a some of ya troubles.."
He could feel her smile as he held her. It were nice. Felt right. She seemed to fit, just so. Feelin' the need ta tell her so, he was just about ta when a loud metallic bangin' sound came from the outer airlock area.
Jayne and River immediately broke apart, Jayne drawin' Boo. He spared River a quick glance only ta get an eyeful of creamy thigh, as she hitched her dress up to draw Ingrid from her thigh holster. If she was gonna continue ta wear dresses and skirts and tha like, only place to conceal a weapon was in a thigh holster. Jayne hadn't figured on how distractin' it would be.
The professorial part of his brain was impressed at how River had sprung inta action, even though Ingrid wasn't loaded. That part of his brain won tha internal battle, as it should right now, and he pulled the clip for Ingrid he always kept on hand from one of his many pockets and threw it over ta the gun hand in trainin'.
Smoothly loading and cocking the Walther PPK, she gracefully moved to a concealed spot where she could cover Serenity's Head of Security whilst he investigated the source of the disturbance.
Meanwhile, Jayne had moved over ta tha airlock and had discreetly peered through the inspection hatch. Tha man lookin' back was not on the top three people Jayne had expected to see.
It were the little weasel of a crime lord, Badger.
Opening' the airlock's inner door, Badger barged in, passin' tha wrench he'd been usin' to bang on the airlock door ta Jayne.
"Your Captain's gone and got himself in trouble."
Cargo Bay – Later
At Badger's pronouncement Jayne had immediately got on tha intercom and roused Zoe and Wash. They'd collected Tha Shepherd and Tha Doctor on tha way, and Jayne had used their entrance ta spirit River away to the relative safety of her room.
Or he would have, if she was where she had been when Badger walked in. Seemed the little jingling knew when ta leave, and how ta do it quiet like. He'd checked, she was in her room, lookin' tha picture a innocence. He was almost fooled at tha act his ownself.
Instructions were given that she was ta stay in her room, no matter what.
Satisfied that his protégé was all good, he'd taken the long way back ta tha cargo bay and picked up Sally, a pump action shotgun. Never know when he might need the extra firepower.
He'd made it back in time ta hear most of what tha little rident had ta say. Seem Mal, tha dumbass, had got hisself inta a sword duel, a all things, ta take place tamorrow. At dawn. Over Inara a course. That tempered Jayne some, can't say he wouldn't never get inta a duel over the jingling after all.
Badger then dropped a bombshell. He weren't here to come fer help fer a rescue. He was here ta stop any rescue attempt bein' made! ThatChing-wah tsao duh liou mahng!
At least he was here on his own, seems Mal weren't tha only dumbass. Cockin' Sally, Jayne levelled tha gun square at tha back a tha cockney criminal's head.
Zoe was happy ta see Jayne's anger at the situation, but knew it were hopeless, at least right now.
"Jayne. I wouldn't." the First Mate said.
"Why not?"
The warrior woman nodded tawards tha doorway. Jayne looked over ta see Lil Kaylee in her prettified dress – surrounded by four a Badger's goons. They cocked their guns, ready ta defend their Boss.
With Kaylee under threat, nothin' Jayne could do. Lowerin' Sally, he let out a growl a frustration.
Kaylee was lookin' despondent, and a mite scared, her ownself.
A limp "Hi." was all she could muster to the stunned Crew of the old Firefly.
Some time had passed and Badger and his lads still had them hostage in their own cargo bay. Jayne, as Head a Security, was mighty offended at that.
Wash was tryin' ta sleep, Book was readin' his Bible, leavin' Jayne, Zoe, Simon and a less prettified Kaylee ta play some tall card.
"….but he said not ta do anythin'. He'll join us after he wins tha duel." Kaylee was powerful confident he would.
Bein' as there was swords involved, Jayne was far less so.
"And what if he don't win?"
Zoe agreed.
"It doesn't hurt to have a contingency plan Kaylee."
Simon spoke next.
"I'm thinking; since we're unarmed, we should take them by surprise all at once."
Jayne thought that was ridiculous. Badger, and four armed, hardened Mercs, ta be taken down by Jayne, Zoe, a pilot, a doctor, a shepherd and a mechanic, all without a knife between 'em. Dumbass.
Zoe did not agree with the Doctor's genius attack plan.
"Not necessarily. We could lure one or two of 'em away, say, to the Infirmary, take 'em out. Be on Badger 'fore he knows what happened."
Likin' this plan much better, Jayne decided ta give his input.
"Only if his attention's elsewhere. We need a diversion. I say Zoe gets nekkid!"
"Nope." Wash said, his head still restin' on his knees. Seems he weren't havin' any success at sleepin'.
"I could get nekkid…" Jayne deadpanned.
That brought Wash's head up, as he added his "NO!" to the resoundin' whispered chorus of same.
Suddenly the Crew were broken out of their intense plannin' by the voice a Badger.
"Who's that then?" he asked, as River walked inta the cargo bay. Intrigued, he advanced on the young woman. "Look at me." he ordered. "What's your story, luv?"
"She's just a passenger." said the Doctor, as he moved in front of the little cockney crime lord.
"Yeah? Why ain't she talkin'? She got a secret?"
"No, I'm sure not…" Simon started, but was interrupted by his sister, perfectly mimicking Badger's accent.
"Sure, I got a secret. More'n one."
It was now her turn to advance on the little weasel.
"Don't seem likely I'd tell 'em to you, do it? Anyone off Dyton Colony knows better'n to talk to strangers."
She moved into his personal space and picked something absently off his lapel. Badger was enthralled by the young woman in front of him, his men watching the scene with rapt attention.
Jayne was not enchanted by the scene. He felt his rage rising. Intellectually he knew exactly what she was doin', but emotionally he couldn't share her, not even falsely, and not even a little bit. Took all his concentration just ta stay rooted ta his spot.
"You're talking loud enough for the both of us," the genius psychic continued, "though, ain't you? I've known a dozen like you. Skipped off home early, minor graft jobs here and there. Spent some time in the lock-down, I warrant, but less than you claim. Now you're what? Petty thief with delusions of standing? Sad little king of a sad little hill."
Even though he'd just be taken down a peg, Badger thought he was still in tha game.
"Nice to see someone from the old homestead." he smiled.
Cockney River was not impressed.
"Not really." she said with a little shake of her head. "Call me if anyone interesting shows up." she said to the room at large as she gracefully sauntered out of the room.
Badger, though, was still smilin'.
"I like her."
The Crew were all shocked, and impressed. Includin' a still angry, but less so, Jayne. He knew he'd screwed up, lettin' his attachment ta the girl get in tha way of what needed doin'. He mentally kicked himself. Still, the jingling had done a great job, and if'n she was ever ta become more than tha cook, she needed ta do exactly what she'd just done. Jayne aimed at make sure they all knew it.
"See, that there?" he whispered ta the assembled Crew. "Exactly tha kinda diversion we coulda used. Seems tha girl is smarter than all a us put together. She get's all a their attention and we just sit here like a bunch a dumbasses. Tha girl really is somethin'."
He couldn'ta kept tha pride outta his voice if'n he wanted ta. Fer a change tha others actually picked up on it, ta varyin' degrees, all seein' just how much Jayne actually thoughta tha petite young woman.
None were worried by that, not even Simon. He was certain, in that brotherly way, that anything Jayne thought about River must be platonic. And certainly Jayne having positive thoughts towards his sister and her usefulness to the ship would mean she would be just that much safer, and more secure, aboard Serenity. And that was a good thing, wasn't it?
Cargo Bay – Next Morning
It were well past dawn and still nothin' had been heard from tha Cap'n or Inara. None of tha Crew had managed ta get no sleep, neither. So, it was time for action.
"Doc is fillin' the Shepherd in on the plan." Jayne whispered to Zoe. "We're ready to move on your signal. Doc's the diversion…"
Zoe nodded in agreement with tha plan, but before she could give tha signal a familiar voice rang out from tha open airlock.
"Did you ever see such a lazy Crew?"
It were The Cap'n, lookin' like go se, and supported by Inara. Seems he won the duel after all.
The all approached their Captain, with The Doctor leading the way, concern on his face.. He'd seen Mal's wounds and wanted to start treatment immediately.
"You're hurt." Doc did have a certain way of statin' the obvious.
Before Simon could check Mal's wounds Badger stuck his little weasel like nose in.
"You get us a deal?"
"I got a deal." The Browncoat sneered. "Now get off my ship!"
That's all Badger wanted ta hear. Weren't interested in any party or duel details, the job was the only important point for him.
"Ta very much for a lovely night then."
Placing his little bowler hat on his little cockney head, he whistled the signal to his men to form up on him and head back to his sad little hill, er his formidable den.
With Badger gone tha Browncoat was able ta relax a little. He allowed hisself ta be seated in a comfortable chair and waited for tha inevitable fussin'.
"Are you badly hurt?" Book asked.
Mal nodded his head in the affirmative.
Jayne, as Head a Security, felt duty bound ta explain what was about ta happen.
"We was just about ta spring inta action Cap'n. A complicated escape and rescue op."
"I was gonna watch." Wash deadpanned. "It was very exciting."
Jayne secured tha airlock door, and once that was done River came outta hidin' ta join in tha revelry.
The fussin' went on for a bit until Mal had had enough.
Simon took it as his opportunity to get The Captain to The Infirmary to be seen to.
The cargo wouldn't be arrivin' 'til well after dark, so once their Cap'n was fixed up the entire Crew took the opportunity to catch up on some much needed rest.
Kitchen – Afternoon
Jayne knew that once tha Crew roused they'd be mighty hungry. No one, from the Cap'n down, had eaten much grub since Mal and Lil Kaylee went on their mission.
So, he'd aim ta make sure all tha real food he'd bought was ready ta go for an early dinner. Cookin' weren't his job. It were the jingling's. What was his job, in relation ta cookin', was givin' lessons were appropriate.
But were it appropriate, at all? He knew she loved the lessons, and he suspected fer more than culinary reasons. There was no suspectin', at all, where his ownself was concerned.
Shakin' the thought off, it didn't matter none. Tha promise was made, tha lesson would start as soon as she arrived.
"Sleep well, Bao hu zhe?" the girl in question said as she entered the room behind him. He weren't surprised she was there, she was a reader after all, and she prolly got some sleep last night.
"Got me some, you?"
"Enough. Could not really sleep last night. Too many loud thoughts from unfamiliar minds in too close proximity. I had managed to block them after a while, so I had adequate rest for our task today."
He smiled while he continued ta wash tha vegetables. Secretly, he loved tha way she talked.
"Good. 'Cause this ain't my job. I'll supervise, you do tha work."
Closing the gap between them, the young genius/cook hugged him from behind.
"I will need instruction in the more practical aspects of the meal. Such as 'mixin' tha fixin's' in our large bowl." She mimicked Jayne's voice perfectly.
Task done and laughin' despite himself, he turned around and hugged her properly.
"What am I gonna do with ya, baby girl?" he asked as he looked inta her eyes.
"Teach me the culinary arts." she replied with a straight face.
Kissin' tha top of her head, he then pushed her away gently.
"Then go get what we need woman!" he ordered.
This was no time fer debriefing tha last twenty four hours, fer makin' plans on lightly coercin' the Cap'n inta lettin' her be a spare gun hand, or any other go se.
This was time fer just tha two a them to enjoy each other's company, ta get just that little bit closer, and maybe let them possibly inappropriate feelin's escape, just a mite, and just fer a bit.
The clarity of thought in River's mind brought forward by Jayne's touch cemented her desires and her resolve to capture the heart of Serenity's Head of Security.
The resolve said Head a Security felt about tha inappropriate nature of any romantical feelin's he mighta felt fer the beautiful jingling weakened, eva so slightly, yet again, at the electric touch of tha young woman.
It were a very interestin' lesson indeed.
The Crew even got a decent meal outta it.
Common Room – After Cargo Arrival
The Crew had enjoyed a fantastic meal a fresh, real food, cooked up and served ta them by River and Jayne. All were in good spirits, especially the Cap'n, despite his wounds. He'd "saved" Inara's honor, stuck one up Badger's pi gu and had gotten a nice payin' job outta it all.
Nice payin', sure. Nice smellin'? Not so much. Turned out tha cargo was live cattle. Noisy, smelly, huge cows, not the usual goods that were transported in the cargo bay of tha old Class 3 Firefly.
When they arrived, everyone, even the Cap'n, were shocked. This was not the kinda goods he was used ta seein'. Jingling was especially freaked, and was currently hidin' in her room. The Doc pointed out they ain't been around too many live animals, especially huge ones that got et.
Jayne had ta laugh. He'd worked with livestock afore, weren't no big deal ta him. Still, the cargo bay was currently jammed full a cows, and that made it a dangerous place. With Mal's permission, he'd declared the whole area off limits to all Crew and passengers.
After the bovine's were secured, as best they could be, Mal had decided it was time for a debrief. Whilst he was waitin' overnight for his duel, he'd forwarded instructions ta tha Crew via Lil Kaylee that they weren't ta do anythin'. The duel would be won and he'd be back lickety split.
Still, he was kinda disappointed they didn't try and wanted ta know why. Mal often said one thing and meant another, and was partial ta havin' his cake and eatin' it too.
Currently he had his First Mate and Head a Security at tha table with him and he wanted answers.
"First off, Jayne, how did those hun dun's get on board my boat?"
"It were just Badger, at first. I had him dead ta rights, too. Then his goon's show up holdin' Lil Kaylee hostage, and that was that."
"Zo?"
"Yes Sir, that's how it went. Once his men showed up with Kaylee, I decided no point in tryin' ta take them on, Kaylee woulda been hurt for sure."
"And no time after that did ya even try ta get my boat back offa them?"
Jayne debated with hisself whether he should tell Mal about River's diversion attempt. Decidin' he would, Zoe would prolly spill tha beans anyway, and he wanted ta control the tale tellin'.
"There was one attempt Mal, sorta, but we blew it. I blew it."
"Sorta? Blew it? What happened?" Mal was mad again.
Before Zoe could interrupt, Jayne continued.
"It were the girl, River."
Mal raised an eyebrow.
"Doc's sister? Whatchya mean. What the gorram hell did she do? Did she go feng le or somethin'?"
Jayne quashed his own anger at Mal assumin', straight away, that tha girl was at fault. Wouldn't help none ta pound on that Cap'n, him bein' injured n' all.
"No, Cap'n. Ya done got it wrong, and tha girl did nothin' wrong neither. In fact, she did right. We was so shocked we was the ones who done wrong."
The Browncoat was now all manner a confused and said so.
This time, Zoe did interrupt.
"Sir, we needed a diversion. We were discussin' what to do.." Jayne snickered at that, "when the girl waltzed in, as large as life, and took Badger to task, verbal like. She copied his accent, perfectly."
"She does that ta me, all tha time. I shoulda known." Jayne supplied.
"Anyways, Badger and his men were so occupied with her performance Sir," Zoe continued, "that we coulda jumped 'em. Trouble was, so was we. So we missed our chance,"
"So Jayne, ya said ya knew she could copy accents?"
"Sure Mal, didn't think she'd waltz right in and give us tha diversion we needed though."
"Needed. How did she know what was happenin' and what was needed?"
Uh oh Jayne thought.
"She's real good at sneakin' around, bein' so small and all, bet she was hidin' just the other side of tha door listening ta what we was sayin'".
It was weak, but it was all he had.
And Cap'n didn't seem too convinced by tha answer, but he had no other explanation his ownself.
"Really?" was all he said.
"Sure Cap'n. Mal, the girl's a gorram genius." he was gonna try and redirected tha conversation. "She can think on her feet, quick like, and brave too. Came in at Badger and his idiots like she owned tha place, no fear. And we use her as a cook…"
"What are ya sayin' Jayne?" Mal asked, sufficiently redirected and actually intrigued.
"Cap'n, she don't mind the cookin' none." Jayne smiled, mostly ta himself. She loved cookin' lessons though. As did he, he admitted. "But I reckon she'd be all kinds of useful on jobs as well. With attention focused on her, we can have tha upper hand. She's brave, smart, and.."
"Jobs, Jayne?" Mal interrupted. "Jobs is dangerous, how many times I been shot?" Zoe and Jayne exchanged a look. "No, I don't think so."
"But Cap'n, she's quick, and no one lookin' at her is gonna see a threat."
"No Jayne, she's got a job, as cook. Anyways, why you so eager ta get her on jobs? Ya want her ta get shot, or worse. Is that it?"
The big man was taken aback. How could tha Cap'n think that?
A 'course not Mal! Whatchya take me fer?" He took a deep breath. "Cap'n, at least let me teach her how ta shoot, like tha others? Ya may not want her getting' inta trouble, but trouble can always come ta us. Just look at that Feh feh pi gu Badger."
He was teachin' her how ta anyways, would be a sight better if'n he didn't have ta hide it. And maybe, if Mal sure how good she could be, he'd change his mind about jobs. Jayne knew, in his bones, that she be good at it.
Mal was pensive for a moment. Not everyone on his ship carried a weapon, but they could if they wanted. They at least had a chance ta protect themselves. Tha girl had ta rely on others, always. She had her feng le days, but not often, and getting' less frequent, and anyways, who didn't have off days?
"OK, but not until after this job is done. Don't want no gorram cows with holes in 'em. But nothin' big mind. Self defense, only. And if she goes feng le." He said as he tapped his head, "you get ta take it from her. And if she shoots ya when ya try, tough luck, dong ma?"
"Sure, Mal, and thanks."
The Cap'n looked at his Head a Security thoughtfully, wonderin' why he cared so much about tha tiny woman. Well, it was workin' out well for him and his boat, upgraded gun hands and cooks and all, so he'd just keep his eye on tha situation fer now and see what happened down tha track.
The Browncoat Captain was sure it would all work out okay.
A/N Next up, re-imagined "Safe". It's going to be full of Rainey goodness.
Chinese:
Jingling - Pixie
Hun dun - Jerk
Bao hu zhe - Protector
Dong ma? – Understand?
Go se - Crap
Wun gwo pee – Smelled a fart
Pi gu - Butt
Mei mei – Little Sister
Ge ge - Big Brother
Chengnuo duanlu qi – Breaker of promises
Feng le - Crazy
Wo dong - Understood
Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng – Frog humping SOB
Feh feh pi gu – Baboon's butt crack