"Mike, they're gonna torture us!" Davy cried as the thug with the gun tied the two boys back to back, fastened to a beam in the middle of the baggage car.

It hadn't taken much to sneak the four of them into the employees only area, the thug had simply grabbed hold of Davy's arm and stuck the gun in his side, telling the others to follow him quietly or "Shorty" got it good.

"Calm down, Davy, maybe there's been a mistake," Mike said calmly, trying not to display some of the worry he himself was feeling.

"Yeah," Micky said sarcastically from his spot by the other beam, where he and Peter were also tied back to back. "They just kidnapped us at gun point and tied us all up because they thought we were someone else. As soon as they figure out who we are, they'll let us go."

"Really?" Peter asked from behind him. "That sure would've been good to know five minutes ago. You should have said something earlier."

"Oh, come on, Pete, I was being sarcastic," Micky explained irritably, rolling his eyes.

Peter sighed. "And how do you know I wasn't?" He asked. Micky blinked, he didn't have an answer to that.

The thug finished tying Mike and Davy up and stood back, still pointing his gun at them.

"You know, you're not much of a talker, are you?" Mike asked him. "You got a name, big guy? Or should I just call you Big Guy? Would you mind telling us just what it is you're after? Why'd you kidnap us?"

"Yeah, what'd we do to you?" Micky added. "It's okay, Mick, let me handle this," Mike said, turning his head from the man, who was standing in front of the door, to Micky, who's beam was behind theirs.

"All of you, shut it," The man said. "I'm waiting for my boss to get here, he'll tell you all you need to know."

"Oh, okay, that makes sense," Davy said. "We must be pretty important, Mike, they're sending us up the corporate ladder."

"I don't think that's a good thing, Davy," Mike said, testing the strength of the ropes tying his wrists to Davy's. Yeah, they were strong, and knotted pretty tightly.

"You'll never break out of my knots," the thug said, noticing his attempt. "The knots are my handle. No one ever breaks out of Knotty Dean's knots."

"Knotty Dean?" Micky said. "What kinda gang name is that? It makes it sound like you're crazy or something!"

Knotty Dean narrowed his eyes, and Davy gulped. "But it's still a good name," he said. "Micky, tell him it's still a good name!"

"Oh, yeah, definitely!" Micky said with a nervous chuckle as Knotty Dean took a step towards him. "Knotty Dean, Knotty Dean," (Changing his voice to sound gravelly) "Sounds terrifying, really!"

"Oh, for heaven's sakes, Knotty, back off him, would'ja?" came a voice from the door, and the Monkees all turned to see a man in a pinstripe suit enter the room, flanked by two goons. "We got bigger problems than a kid who don't like your name," he said, walking in and snapping his fingers. One of the goons shut the door.

"What kinda problems, Boss?" Knotty said. The boss smirked. "Got a government agent on the train," he said. Knotty gasped. "No," he said in disbelief. The boss nodded. "Right now, he's wandering the halls, looking for these kids. Make sure he never finds 'em, got it?"

The Monkees gasped. "You mean you're gonna kill us!?" Micky cried out. The boss laughed. "Course not," he said. "Not as long as you cooperate. No, we're gonna kill the agent." He turned to Knotty. "You can't miss him, he's the only passenger on the train wearing a trench coat and a fedora."

"Wait a second," Peter said as Knotty left the baggage car. "I thought the agent was supposed to be wearing blue glasses."

"Peter, don't tell him that!" Micky hissed, but the boss just chuckled. "Wrong Agent," he said. "The agent we're looking for is wearing a trench coat and a fedora. By the sound of your description, you're looking for Agent Cupcake."

Mike looked at the boss warily. "...And do you know where we can get ahold of Agent Cupcake?"

"Not a clue," the boss said. "Do I look like a Good Guy to you?"

"To be perfectly honest with you, not a bit," Mike said. "Now, lemme see if I got this straight: There's two agents on this train?"

"Correct," the boss said. "But not really."

Mike looked at him. "Okay, I'm confused," he said. The boss laughed.

"Maybe I should start at the beginning," he said. "Since you boys obviously have no idea what you got yourselves mixed up in."

"Boy, you got that right," Davy muttered.

"My name is Jerome Jerome," the boss said. "But round here, I'm known as Jumping-Jack Jerry."

"Jumping-Jack Jerry!?" Micky started, but was hushed by a stern glance from Mike and Davy, and a pull on the wrist from Peter.

"That's right," said Jumping-Jack Jerry. "I'm the boss of this branch of the notorious gang, the Black Rose Gang."

"The Black Rose Gang!?" Davy cried out. "Oh no! Not the Black Rose Gang! Mike, we've been captured by the Black Rose Gang!"

"Yeah, so I heard," Mike said. "What is the Black Rose Gang?" All the Monkees (including Davy) looked at Jerry curiously, as none of them had ever heard of this gang before.

"Well, we're a fairly new organization," he said. "Just got started around five years ago. We've been trying to expand our territory. We're quickly becoming quite the national nuisance."

"I see," Mike said. "Continue."

"Well," said Jerry. "I'm only a local boss, I answer to the big man himself, Mr. Thorn."

"Mr. Thorn?" Davy asked curiously. "Who's he?"

"I don't know, I've never seen him," said Jerry. "I don't even know his real name. But he's my boss, and what the boss says goes. So when he says to pack up my bags and move to Michigan, I go. And when he says to catch a plane to Santa Barbara, I do. And when he says to catch a train from Malibu to Abilene and intercept an important delivery to another gang, I do."

"Another gang!?" Davy said indignantly. "What'd'you mean, another gang? We don't work for any gang!"

"Oh, save it," Jerry said. "You all but confessed when you said you were looking for Agent Cupcake of the Good Guys Gang."

"The Good Guys Gang!?" The Monkees exclaimed together.

"Yeah," Jerry said. "The Good Guys Gang. Started up about the same time we did, we've been rivals the entire time. They're headed by the devious Mr. Best, and he's been trying to expand his territory."

"Oh, so when he said he'd joined "the good guys," he meant- yes, I get it now," Mike said quietly. Then he addressed Jerry.

"So let me get this straight," He said again. "There are two gangs, the Black Rose Gang and the Good Guys Gang, and you both are trying to become top gang in America. Am I right so far?"

"Yes," Jerry said.

"Okay," Mike continued. "And you believe that we know the location of a packet of information on the Black Rose Gang, possessed by a member of the Good Guys Gang, who is planning to use it to destroy your gang?"

"Correct," Jerry agreed.

"So you kidnapped us so we would tell you the location of this information, by orders of Mr. Thorn, your boss?"

"Right," Jerry said, smiling. "So now we get to my favorite part. You tell me where the information is, or else."

"Or else what, exactly?" Micky asked nervously.

"Or else they don't call me Jumping-Jack Jerry for nothin'," Jerry said with a smile.

The Monkees all looked at each other, confused. That threat hadn't sounded anything like a threat. Still, they didn't exactly want to have him explain himself.

"Alright then, you leave us no choice," Mike said. "I'll tell you where the information is."

The others all looked at him worriedly, except for Davy, who craned his neck but couldn't quite manage it.

"Alright, we've got a smart one here," Jerry said. "Where is it, Sonny?"

"It's hidden in a secret place on the train," Mike said. "Only someone who already knows where it is would ever be able to find it."

"Well, what do you suppose we do, then?" Jerry asked. Mike sighed dramatically. "You'll have to let us go," he said. "You can send Knotty with us or something, and we'll go to the secret spot and get the information. We'll send the information back with Knotty and we'll be on our way. We didn't want to get mixed up in this gang war, anyway."

"While I like most of your plan," Jerry said, "I can't have all four of you going after the information together. You might run off and give it to the police or something. So how about we make a compromise: I set two of you free, with one of my boys here to keep an eye on you, of course, and you go to this secret place to get the information. You send it back with my boy, I'll let the other two go. They join you, you have a happy reunion, you all go riding off into the sunset. Deal?"

Mike appeared to think for a second. "Deal," he said finally.

"Good!" Jerry said. "Tony! Bruce! Pick a hostage."

The two goons each stepped forward, one of them pointed at Davy, who cringed, and the other pointed at Peter, who let out a small groan.

"Alright then," Jerry said, pulling out a small knife. Walking over to them, he cut the ropes tying Mike and Davy's wrists together and then he moved to do the same to Micky and Peter.

"Tony, Bruce," Jerry said again. "Stay here and watch your hostages. I'm going with these two clowns. If they come back without me, kill the lot of them. And if I come back and find that you let your hostage escape, I'll kill the both of you. Got it?"

"Yes, boss," the two goons said, training their guns on Davy and Peter.

"Right then," Jerry said. "Shall we get going?"

With a final glance at Davy and Peter, Mike followed Jerry out of the baggage compartment, Micky trailing behind him.

They walked in silence through the train, Mike leading the way, trying to act as though he knew where he was going.

There was no secret hiding spot on the train, there never had been. He had the information tucked away in his jacket pocket the whole time, he just hadn't told Jerry that because if there was anything he knew about gang bosses, they were liars. If he'd given Jerry the information, Jerry could very well have killed the four of them right then.

Mike needed to think of a way to get Davy and Peter out of the baggage car, deliver the information to the police, and avoid the two gangs for the rest of the trip to Abilene, which would last at least another three hours.

This was going to be difficult.

Maybe he could try to get the information to the government agent who was on board. Except, he was still searching the train for them, and Knotty was after him.

Boy, they'd sure screwed things up for that agent. If he had just explained himself, though, then they would have been more than happy to give him the information right away.

"Hey, look Mike, we're passing New Gallifrey," Micky said, nudging Mike and pointing to the window. Mike glanced at the window and smiled. Aunt Kate would have a conniption if she knew how close they were.

"How much farther is it?" Jerry asked impatiently from behind him. "We're getting pretty close to the front of the train. There's only around four cars in front of us now."

"Don't worry, we're getting there," Mike said, stepping into another car.

As soon as the three of them were inside and the door closed, everyone in the room stood up and pointed guns at them.

"Freeze!" One of them said, and Mike could tell by his blue glasses that they had finally found Agent Cupcake.

"Frozen!" He exclaimed, putting his hands up. Behind him, Micky also had his hands up, and he was saying "Frozen! Frozen! I'm so frozen, I'm an icicle! Please don't shoot!"

"Jumping-Jack Jerry," Agent Cupcake said. "I wasn't expecting to see you here. Last I heard, you were being sent to handle the riff-raff in Santa Barbara, 'cause Mr. Thorn didn't like how you handled the jewel heist in Michigan. What are you doing on an interception? Trying to regain Thorn's favor?"

Jerry smiled and slowly lifted his hands. "Shut it, Cupcake," he said calmly. "You don't know anything about Michigan. I had a lousy informant. How was I supposed to know they were wise on me, and planted fake jewels?"

He looked around at all the Agents with their guns pointed at him. "I must admit, I wasn't expecting you, either," he continued. "Boy, you brought along a small army. Nice to see you, Agent Pepper Spray. Agent Red Gloves. Agent Watermelon. Although, I must admit, I don't recognize these other new Agents you've got here."

He turned to three new Agents, who were looking at all of them curiously.

"Oh, haven't you been introduced?" Agent Cupcake said. "These are three temporary recruits, helping us out with... well, never mind. May I introduce you to Agent Bow Tie, Agent Ginger, and Agent Red Cross."

"Agent Red Cross?" Jerry asked in surprise. "What is he, some kinda doctor or somethin'?"

"Actually, I'm a nurse," The Agent spoke up. Mike perked his ears. The guy had a British accent.

"Ha!" Jerry laughed. "You pickin' up nurses now, Cupcake?" He said. "I knew the Good Guys picked up strays, but seriously. One of these days, your motley crew of misfits is gonna get you all killed. Or worse, imprisoned."

Agent Cupcake laughed. "Didn't you get the memo, Jerry? The Good Guys always win. Now, why don't you just come over here, nice and slow, and let Agents Watermelon and Pepper Spray decide what to do with you. I'm gonna step out into the other car and have a word with these two fine young gentlemen you picked up."

With that, Agent Cupcake put away his gun, and led Mike and Micky out of the car, leaving Jerry with the other Agents.

"Don't worry," he said as soon as the door shut behind them. "I know about everything, the travel brochure, the government agent... My stupid subordinate sent me a message, telling me all about how he fed you some cock-and-bull story that he was really working for the CIA, and that he sent the information along with you without your knowledge. Now, where's the blonde named Peter? Agent Storm Cloud said Pink Rock had sent it with him."

Mike cleared his throat. Here was a chance to solve two of the three problems. "Well, two of Jerry's goons are holding them hostage in the baggage car," he said. "But Peter doesn't have the information any more. We hid it in a secret place on the train. If you help us get Peter and our other friend out of trouble, and guarantee the rest of our trip'll be gang free, I'll tell you where I hid the information."

Agent Cupcake nodded. "Deal," he said. "I'll tell all of my Agents to leave you alone, and we've got this train so packed with members that the Black Rose Gang isn't much of a threat at the moment. Especially headed by that no good Jumping-Jack Jerry. I really don't know why Thorn sent him on so important a mission."

"There's one more thing," Mike said, pushing his luck. "Jerry sent a third goon out to kill the government agent, a goon by the name Knotty Dean. That agent is totally harmless, Can you maybe cut him some slack?"

Agent Cupcake smiled. "Don't worry about it," he said. "Knotty Dean already caught up with him, and that agent isn't as harmless as you'd think."

"Really?" Micky asked. "Boy, I guess it's a good thing he didn't want to hurt us after all."

"But what about your gang?" Mike asked. "What if one of your goons decide he's dangerous?"

"Oh, every member of the Good Guys Gang makes a solemn promise not to kill. It's all about the theatrics. Watch."

He pulled his gun out and pointed it at Micky, who yelped on instinct. He shot, and to Micky's surprise and annoyance, a stream of water shot out and squirted him in the face.

"Wow," he said, wiping the water off his face with his sleeve. "And here I thought you were dangerous."

"How are you supposed to be the top gang in America if you don't kill?" Mike asked, more out of bewilderment than anything else. Agent Cupcake laughed.

"Like I said, theatrics," he said. "We've got spies everywhere, we've got cops, delivery boys, bartenders... Every time they get close to being discovered, we schedule a shoot out, with lots of smoke and sound effects and everything. They "die," and then get relocated to a new city. We give them new names and everything, and they start over. One guy's died four times already. Mr. Best is getting a little frustrated with him, he's so careless."

"I see," Mike said. "So you're called the Good Guys because you don't murder anyone?"

"That's right," Agent Cupcake said. "We only lie, steal, blackmail, evade our taxes, and we run a mean extortion racket on the side."

"Oh, is that all?" Micky said sarcastically. Agent Cupcake gave him an amused glance. "We don't have any qualms about non-fatal injuries, however," he said.

"Like I said," Micky chuckled nervously. "Is that all?" He changed the inflection of his voice to sound more approving and less sarcastic. "I don't know why the police would be after you guys, you're practically saints!"

Agent Cupcake laughed. "That's more like it," he said. "Now then, let's go get your friends."

Peter and Davy had been having a time of it themselves. As soon as Jerry had left with Mike and Micky, Tony and Bruce began arguing over which of the two of them was a better goon.

Eventually, they had asked for Davy and Peter's opinion, and the two Monkees had managed to convince the rather dimwitted gangsters to put down the guns, untie them, and now they were seated comfortably, judging a contest between the two.

They would have left, but on that point the two goons were determined. Their hostages were not to leave the baggage car.

"I wonder what Mike's going to do when Jerry finds out he lied about the secret place," Peter said quietly while Tony and Bruce had their "Mean-Talk" portion of the competition, which was pretty much the two of them trash talking each other.

"I don't know, but it had better be a good one," Davy responded. "Although I'm actually pretty curious as to why they call him Jumping-Jack Jerry."

"You don't suppose it's as simple as him making you do jumping jacks?" Peter asked. Davy shook his head. "I doubt it," he said. "That wouldn't be very torturous at all."

"Hey, let's ask Tony and Bruce," Peter suggested.

"No, let's not," Davy said, glancing at the two goons, who had apparently gone too far in their insults, as they were now wrestling on the ground, ordering each other to "Take it back" or else.

"Don't you want to know?" Peter asked. "Course I do," Davy responded. "But this is hilarious."

Suddenly, the door crashed open and several people in suits and holding guns came storming into the room. Tony and Bruce both stood up quickly, startled out of their wrestling match.

Davy and Peter also put their hands up as a man wearing blue glasses came into the room, followed by Mike and Micky.

"Agent Cupcake!" Davy and Peter said together. The man smiled and took a bow.

"At your service," he said. Then he turned to Bruce and Tony. "Get these two goons outta here," he said to his Agents.

As Tony and Bruce were being led away, they stopped in front of Davy and Peter. "Who won?" Bruce asked. Davy and Peter looked at each other. "Agent Cupcake," they decided.

"Well, boys," Agent Cupcake said, turning to Mike after Tony and Bruce were gone. "I held up my end of the deal."

Davy glanced at Mike, who looked a little nervous. Not that anyone else would have seen that. But Davy had known the Texan for so long, he could practically read him like a book.

"Right," Mike said. "The information."

Agent Cupcake smiled. "I might be a Good Guy," he said. "But now that we've gone and rescued your two friends, I wouldn't be very happy if you double crossed me now. Where's the information?"