Chapter 13 – Jaynestown
A/N This one was actually hard to write. Being very Jayne focused meant I had less room to insert new scenes that would normally happen 'off-screen' while the canon events took place. Lots of Rayney goodness though.
I must also apologize as I have been remiss in thanking you guys for your reviews. They're much appreciated, and by all means if anyone has any questions regarding the fic, by all means ask. I don't bite. Ok, I do, but...
On with the story.
Enroute to Higgins Moon – Planet Harvest – Red Sun Border System – November 2517
The job was standard; slip past the local law, whatever form that came in, find the contact, secure the contraband, slip past the local law again on the way out, hit The Black, dodge any Alliance patrols, deliver the contraband, and get paid. Or have a shootout first and then get paid. A pretty standard job for the Crew of Serenity.
Only this time it weren't fer one Crew member; Jayne Cobb. Bein' out in Tha Black so long, and bein' a hun dun fer a lotta that time, meant that occasionally ya had ta go back ta places that ya weren't welcome. Fer one reason or another. And fer Jayne Cobb, one a them places was Higgins Moon.
Higgins Moon. A small company owned moon run by Magistrate Higgins. Famous, if that were tha word, fer one thing – mud. Or more rightly, clay, which was then turned ta ceramic. Or whatever. Jayne didn't rightly care, 'cept that the mud made a go se load a cashy money for old man Higgins.
Which Jayne stole. Sixty thousand credits. Over seven thousand platinum. Or enough ta buy two Firefly's like good ol' Serenity. It shoulda made tha one time mercenary rich. Shoulda, but in 'tha good old days' things rarely went well fer tha big man.
That is, until he found his new 'family', and over time tha mercenary changed his ways, or mayhaps re-discovered hisself, and was now Head a Security fer tha Type 3 Firefly.
They had no choice though. They needed tha coin, so they needed tha job, so they needed ta go ta Higgins Moon.
That made Jayne all kinds a antsy, which was why he was currently movin' through tha Infirmary like a tornado lookin' fer some heavy duty tape. Instead a just askin'. Well, he was antsy.
Tha Doc did his best open mouthed fish impersonation when he saw tha state a the Infirmary. Was almost worth doin' just fer that.
"What…happened in here?" the Doctor spluttered.
"Needed ta find some tape." Said antsy Jayne.
"So you had to tear my Infirmary apart!"
"Apparently." He smirked.
"My god. You're like a trained ape. Without the training."
That kinda comment was usually tha sign fer Jayne ta pound some on tha commentator, but Doc was an exception. Bein' a good Doc, fixin' Jayne up, was all manner a good. But tha Doc was tha jingling's brother, and since she was all manner a shiny, tha Doc got a pass. This time.
Jayne continued strappin' the .45 automatic pistol ta his belly, ignorin' tha Doc fer now.
"Jayne." His Cap'n said as he entered tha Infirmary ta check on all tha fuss, "I told ya we're settlin' down at tha Canton factory settlement on Higgin's moon."
"Yep. That ya did."
"Canton don't allow guns in their town."
"Yes Sir, I know. That's why I ain't strappin' one ta my hip."
His Cap'n was not impressed.
"No. That's why ya ain't strappin' one anywhere."
Mal's word was final, but Jayne stopped him as he turned ta leave.
"Oh listen, Mal. I was in Canton a few years back, I made me a powerful enemy thereabouts."
Simon decided sarcasm was called for and joined the conversation.
"Enemy? You? No, how can that be?"
Tha Doc got ignored again, lucky fer him Jayne had more important things ta worry about.
"I just don't like tha idea a goin' in their empty handed is all." Jayne knew it were a lost battle, but he had ta try.
"Why ya still arguin' about what's been decided?" The look on Mal's face showed he was done with this argument.
Jayne ripped tha tape off, throwin' it ta tha ground, and stormed outta tha Infirmary headin' fer his bunk.
He weren't surprised, and he was happy, truth be told, ta find tha jingling waitin' fer him. She wrapped her tiny arms around him and held him tight, and fer tha moment his worry was gone.
"Thanks, I needed a hug, was hopin' ta get one." He said as he kissed tha top of her head, not carin' that he sounded all sissified.
"You are not a sissy, Zhang fu, as long as I am the only one you wish to receive hugs from. Hugs from anyone else," she started, "would make you all manner a unmanly." She finished, mimicking his voice as she often did to lighten the mood.
As usual, it worked, as Jayne let out a full laugh, a large smile broadening on his face.
"What would I do without ya?"
"You would go back to being a mean, grumpy, old man." Now it was her turn to laugh, and she did so lightly into his chest.
Jayne loved ta hear her laugh, sounded like sunshine fer his ears.
Sitting down on his bed, she climbed onto his lap and looked him in the eye.
"Don't worry, Zhang fu, I don't feel any disaster looming on Canton."
Zhang fu. Husband. Well, it seemed she had 'married' them on Triumph usin' that Triumph Settlers Ceremony. Tha big man hadn't quite accepted that yet, but it was getting' awful hard not ta just give in and let her have what she wanted. 'Cause he was almost sure that's what he wanted too. Almost.
What he did know, certain like, was that he didn't ever wanna be without her.
"I hope not baby girl. But just in case, I want ya ta stay on tha ship. Don't leave unless it's a dire emergency or somesuch, dong ma?"
"On one condition."
"Oh?" he said as he raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"
"Kiss me." She said.
And he did.
Higgins Moon – Landing Pad – Morning
The stench of Canton and its 'mud' pits hit the Crew as Zoe lowered the main ramp of the cargo bay.
"Canton really…stinks." Simon as usual, was expert at stating the obvious.
"That's what makes it such a great drop point." said Mal. "No one comes here that doesn't have to."
"I vote we do this job really, really fast." Chimed in Wash, sense of humor intact,
The Cap'n went on ta explain tha job. They'd search fer their contact, a fella named Kessler, and fer a change Wash, Lil Kaylee, and Tha Doc, a all people, were comin' on tha job. This time Zoe got to babysit tha ship, she didn't mind none as Canton's stink really ailed her.
Simon, playin' the fancified Core man he was, would pose as the 'mud buyer', which were Mal's diabolical plan ta get past tha local law, or more like thugs, that ran tha clay/mud pit mining operation.
Serenity's Head a Security, wearin' a 'disguise', consistin' of large jacket, hood, and goggles, looked over ta his jingling. He always loved tha way she looked when natural sunlight hit her face. Lit it up like an angel, and so it was now. Tha smile she gave him as she picked up tha thought didn't hurt none either. Wantin' ta kiss her right then and there, but unable ta as the Cap'n and tha merry band had ta set off fer tha meet. Their eyes met one last time as he waved at her, she smiled again, and Zoe closed tha ramp. Sighin', he set off with tha others.
Soon enough, they ran inta what passed fer tha local law. Tha Foreman; more like an enforcer.
Tha Doc went inta his buyin' spiel, and Jayne would like ta say his 'brother in law' was a fine actor. 'Cept he weren't. He were awful. Lucky, the Foreman weren't exactly the sharpest tool in tha shed, so he went back ta insultin' the indentured workers while tha gallant Crew went in search a their contact.
Jayne didn't think Simon's actin' job was up ta scratch, a course he had more ta worry on than tha others.
"Boy's gonna get us killed. Let's just do this job and git!"
"His disguise ain't half as funny as yours." Tha Browncoat told tha big man. "Who're ya supposed ta be anyway?"
"You haven't been here in years Jayne." Wash added. "You really think you need that getup? No one's going to remember you."
Mal's face dropped as they entered what passed for Canton's town square.
"I think it's possible they might." He said as there, right in tha middle a the town square, in pride a place, was a life sized statue of Serenity's Head a Security. One Jayne Cobb.
The entire Crew were stunned, no more so than Jayne hisself. Strangely enough it were the fancy Core Doc who spoke first.
"Son of a bitch!" the Doctor unexpectedly cussed.
"Jayne?"
"Yeah Mal?"
"Ya wanna tell me how come there's a statue a you here lookin' at me like I owe him somethin'?"
"Wishin' I could Cap'n."
"No, seriously, Jayne, ya wanna tell me?" Cap'n was disbelievin' what his own eyes were seein', and he wanted answers.
Jayne sincerely had no real answers his ownself.
"Look, Mal, I got no ruttin' idea." Jayne began, exasperated. "I was here a few years back, like I said. Pulled a second-story, stole a lotta scratch from tha Magistrate up on tha hill. But things went way south. I had ta hightail it. They don't…put ya in a pedestal in town square fer that."
"Yeah, except I'm lookin' at some fair compellin' evidence says they do." Cap'n couldn't stop starin' at the statue a Jayne.
"This must be what going mad feels like." Doctor had left his cussing behind but was definitely non-plussed by what he was seeing.
Wash, of course, had to make light of the situation.
"I think they captured him, though – you know…captured his essence."
"Looks sorta angry, don't he?" Kaylee helpfully supplied.
"That's kinda what I meant." Wash deadpanned.
The shift change siren blasted, spookin' Jayne somewhat. Truthfully, he was just as flummoxed as tha rest a tha Crew. He was sure he was gonna be noticed and hauled off ta face tha Magistrate at any second. He knew it weren't likely ta happen, but it weren't likely that there'd be a statue a him here neither. And yet, here it was. Time ta move.
"Oh hey, I got a an idea. Instead a us hangin' around, playin' art critic till I get pinched by tha Man, how's about we move away from this eerie-ass piece a work and get on with our ever increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"
"I dunno." Mal said, finally comin' to grasp with tha idea of a statue a Jayne. "This here's a spectacle might warrant a moment's consideration.
"Everywhere I go," Kaylee whispered, "his eyes keep followin' me."
Serenity's Head a Security couldn't believe that the Cap'n and tha rest a tha Crew weren't takin' this seriously.
"Come on, gorram it!" he cried. "We got a job. Let's go ta it, and get tha hell outta here." Jayne paused, hopin' tha others would take it more serious like. "I crossed the gorram Magistrate a this Company town, understand? He ain't exactly a forgivin' sorta guy!"
Serenity – Kitchen – Same Time
River was bored. It didn't take much to bore the young genius, and with Jayne and the others on a job there was little to do. Being an uncontrolled environment, what with being a fugitive from the law and all, planetside was not a place River was able to go all too often. Of course the trouble on Jiangyin had done nothing to change this. Even if the fault lay squarely with The Captain, not the young woman.
For that reason River preferred The Black. In addition to her mundane cooking duties, lessons excepted, there was aviation and engineering instruction. Her most precious moments, however, were those with her Zhang fu, and until her gun hand training was complete, and The Captain persuaded, she would not be able to spend much time with him planetside.
She smiled as she thought of Jayne. Her very dear, mostly sweet, sometimes grumpy, all times manly, Head of Security.
Of course she'd felt Jayne's spike of shock, which quickly turned to confusion, but the young woman wasn't worried about that. Although she didn't know the cause, Zhang fu's level of apprehension didn't rise too much, so if he wasn't overly worried, nor would she be. Also feeling the shocked amusement of the other Crew had confirmed there was no further danger, as such, to her man and the others.
Her man. He was, and always would be, as she would be his. The young psychic relished the thought, but would Jayne? Did he realize the burden that she was? That she always would be? Not only hunted by The Alliance, perhaps for all time, but she was not fully sane, with little chance of that changing either.
Although she loved him with all her heart, she was using him. Jayne was the island of sanity in which she anchored her own mind. Ever since she had used the image of him as Bao hu zhe, now replaced by the man himself, she had used him. And would, must, continue to do so, as it was the only way she could continue to have some semblance of normalcy.
Would he even care though? He loved her, she was sure of that, but she wasn't sure if he knew exactly what he had gotten himself into. Jayne would face that realization at some stage, and hopefully they could work through it together.
With that dilemma no closer to being solved, River was bored again. What could a somewhat crazy bored genius do? The Shepherd had left his Book of No Sense on the table, perhaps this dilemma she could solve?
With most of the Crew on a job, save Zoe who was watching over the ship, The Shepherd had decided to keep watch on River. When Jayne was off the ship, the girl was far less stable. Book didn't think he'd ever get used to the odd relationship, but for some reason the ex-mercenary seemed to be what the girl needed. Strange, but The Lord does work in mysterious ways.
"What are we up to, sweetheart?" he asked as he entered the kitchen. River would often do odd things at times like these.
River had felt The Shepherd approach and speak with her. 'Sweetheart'? She was neither a little girl nor in a relationship with The Shepherd. She was not his 'sweetheart.' Very inappropriate term.
"I am fixing your Bible."
"I, um….what?" He was expecting an odd answer, but this threw him.
"Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics – doesn't make sense."
The girl genius continued to mark these conundrums for later study, tearing out the appropriate pages as she worked.
"No, no. You can't fix…"
"So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden." River interrupted. "Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven, important number. Prime number. One goes into the house 11, 11 times, but always comes out one. Noah's Ark is a problem." River told The Shepherd as she finished.
"Really?" Book said as he shook his head.
"We'll have to call it 'early quantum state phenomenon'." She stated. "Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat." She finished as she tore out another page.
"Give me that!" Book had had enough of the abnormal behavior. "River, you don't…fix the Bible."
"It's broken." Couldn't he see it? It was obvious. "Doesn't make sense." She told him in her best 'boob' voice.
"It's not about making sense." He told her. "It's about believing in something and letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you." He told the young woman earnestly as he tried to pry the torn pages of the Bible from her hands.
River had faith – in Jayne. And he had 'fixed' her. But The Shepherd still wasn't getting these pages back, she had to work on the mystery,
Knowing there was no sense in having a tug-of-war over torn pages, Book let her keep them, for the moment.
"You hang on to those, now."
Mudder's Bar – Early Evening
They'd finally moved away from that gorram statue and had landed in tha town bar, lookin' fer their contact. Jayne was pleased; he needed a drink somethin' fierce.
Once they'd all got their drinks, they took a table in tha corner ta scope out the bar and hopefully spot their contact. Tha big man was still perplexed by that statue though.
"Can't be a statue a me! No reason fer it. Flies in tha face a every kind a sense."
"Won't argue with that." His Cap'n agreed.
Wash took a sip of his drink and immediately spit it out.
"Zhe shi she me lan dong xi?"
"Mm-hmm." Jayne smiled at tha little man. "They call it 'Mudder's Milk'. All tha protein, vitamins, and carbs of ya Grandma's best turkey dinner – plus 15% alcohol." Tha big man took a large gulp a his drink. He liked tha stuff.
Wash didn't.
"It's horrific!"
Simon started sayin' some go se about Egyptians on Earth-That-Was drinkin' somethin' similar. Jayne didn't pay him no mind as he spotted a kid starin' at him. He hoped it didn't mean what he thought it did.
"Shake ya head, boy. Ya eyes are stuck. Git!"
Tha boy started and ran. Jayne felt a little bad, but better than feelin' a lot creepafied.
Tha Head a Security wasn't tha only one who spied someone a note.
"Well, what's a gussied-up fella like ya doin' in a place like this?" he said to hisself as a well dressed man approached. Mebbe tha contact?
"You wouldn't be looking for Kessler?" the Well Dressed Man said as he eyed the Crew.
"Just havin' a brew." The Cap'n replied, cool as ya like.
"I knew a Kessler." The Man stated.
That drew Mal's attention. "Knew?"
Tha Cap'n bantered back and forth with tha Well Dressed Man. Apparently Kessler had been done in by tha local law, and tha WDM had tha goods and was willin' ta trade. Good, Jayne thought, sooner we get tha goods sooner we get off this rock.
"I advise we all just lay low for the moment." The WDM finished as the deal was agreed on.
Suddenly, a low profile didn't seem on tha cards as the bar busker began ta sing.
"JAYNE!" he bellowed.
"Yee-soo ta ma duh." Tha man in question replied softly ta hisself.
"Tha man we call JAYNE!" the singer continued.
"He robbed from tha rich and he gave ta tha poor
Stood up ta Tha Man and he gave him what for
Our love for him now ain't hard ta explain
Tha Hero of Canton, tha man they call JAYNE!"
The Crew, even Jayne his ownself, couldn't believe it. He sat open mouthed while tha whole bar joined in with tha singin'. It weren't over though.
"Our Jayne saw tha Mudder's backs breakin'
He saw tha Mudder's lament
And he saw tha Magistrate takin'
Every dollar and leavin' five cents
So he said 'Ya can't do that ta my people'
He said 'Can't crush them under ya heel.'
Jayne strapped on his hat
And in five seconds flat
He stole everythin' Boss Higgins had ta steal.
"Um…Jayne?" Mal turned to tha big man, shock evident on his face.
"Yeah Mal?" an equally dumbfounded Jayne replied.
"Ya got any light ya'd like ta share on this development?"
"No, Mal."
"No," Simon began, stunned, "this must be what going mad feels like."
The whole bar erupted again in chorus.
"Our love for him now ain't hard ta explain
Tha Hero of Canton, tha man they call JAYNE!"
It still weren't done as the singer loudly continued.
"Now here is what separates heroes
From common folk like you an I
Tha man they call Jayne
He turned 'round his plane
And let that money hit sky."
That last line explained it all in Jayne's mind.
"Oh, I'll be gorrammed! That's where that cash went!" Jayne was sure now. "I stole that money from Higgins, just like tha song says. Lifted me one a his shuttles. But I got tagged by anti-aircraft, started losin' altitude." Tha Crew was listenin' with rapt attention. "Had ta dump them strongboxes ta stay airborne."
Tha big man shuddered at tha memory and took a chug a his Mudder's Milk 'afore he continued. "Oh, 60,000, untraceable. And I drop it right square in tha middle a mud-farmer central!"
Most a tha Crew, even tha Cap'n, were speechless. Wash, though, had his customary quip.
"We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm the hero!"
Tha whole Crew, includin' Jayne, looked around the bar in disbelief as the song came ta a rousin' end with tha whole bar singin' along.
"Tha Hero of Canton
Tha man they call JJJAAAYYNNNNEE!"
Serenity – Same Time
The young genius had tried to solve the puzzles of the Bible, but to no avail. Defeated, she headed to The Shepherd's room to return the torn pages.
"Hello?" she called out timidly.
"In here River." Book replied.
"I'm…," she began, stepping into his room, "I tore these out of your symbol and they turned into paper. But I want to put them back, so…"
"I'm sorry, what's that?" Book said as he turned to face the young woman, his hair all frazzled, the usual ponytail nowhere to be seen.
River screamed at the site. It was truly frightening.
"River! River, come back."
She ran from his room screaming, passing a confused Zoe on the way.
"Preacher," she cried, as she turned into his room, what tha hell did ya sic on…" she stopped in her tracks, stunned, at tha sight a Book's hair. "Woah!"
Mudder's' Bar
Tha big man was desperate. Didn't want no reputation. Reputation's got ya noticed. Bein' noticed got ya killed.
"Cap'n, now they's off tha subject a me, shouldn't we be getting' the hell outta here?"
"I'd say that's a reasonable request," Mal said, risin', "considerin' tha circumstances."
"Ruttin' Mudders" Jayne cursed as tha Crew headed up and outta the bar.
They didn't make it past tha entrance as tha whole population a tha gorram Mudder town, seems like, was there, waitin'.
"JAYNE!" tha lotta them fairly screamed as the big man appeared.
Clappin' their hands, screamin' and hollarin', they began ta chant.
"Jayne Jayne Jayne Jayne Jayne Jayne Jayne!"
Now he weren't no coward, but tha big man did what he thought best. He turned around and head back inta tha bar, intendin' to get hisself mighty drunk.
"Gimme some milk!" he demanded, and was rewarded with a bottle a Mudders' Milk.
"Don't ya understand?" a man suddenly yelled. "He's come back. It's Jayne!"
A flash a recognition came over tha barkeeps face and he swiped tha bottle a Mudder's Milk from Jayne's hands.
"What tha..?" Jayne began as the bottle flew down the bar.
"Hero of Canton won't be drinking' that chou ma niao. He drinks tha best whiskey in tha house!" the barkeep beamed as the crowd in tha bar started doin' some whoopin' and hollarin' a their own.
Still unsure a what ta do, Jayne took tha whiskey and began ta drink, despite tha continual back slappin' he was currently receivin'.
Also unsure was his Cap'n, who came back down ta tha bar headin' for his Head a Security, only ta be stopped by a hand on his arm. It were tha Well Dressed Man a no name.
"What the hell's going on?" WDM demanded. "This how people lay low where you're from?"
"Not generally, no." Mal replied.
"Listen, friend," WDM continued, his tone anything but friendly, "I came here to make sure a deal went down solid, not to get chopped up by the Canton prod crew and fed to the bog!"
"I understand your concerns, friend," Mal began as he pried WDM's grip offa his arm, "This here's all part of our new plan." Tha Browncoat smiled without humor at the WDM as he turned his back ta him ta see what tha gorram hell was goin' on with Jayne.
Lil Kaylee had overheard tha last part.
"Cap'n, how exactly is this part…"
"Still workin' on tha details." Mal interrupted as they watched Jayne bein' fawned over like royalty.
"Ta Jayne!" A Mudder yelled.
"Ta Jayne!" The bar chorused.
"Ta me!" Jayne bellowed, actually startin' ta enjoy hisself. Or mebbe tha whiskey..
"Ta tha Mudders!" Jayne cried.
"Ta tha Mudders!" the Mudders replied, with much cheerin' and hollarin'.
Serenity – Cargo Bay – Same Time
No longer bored, River was too freaked out by The Shepherd's hair for that. She, had, however, taken to hiding and ranting.
"They say snow on the roof was too heavy." The young psychic mumbled to herself. "They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger." She hypothesized.
"River?" Book wasn't sure what had set the girl off but he was determined to find out. "Why don't you come out?"
"No! I can't. Too much hair."
"Is that it?" Book asked, exasperated.
Zoe seemed to share River's opinion.
"Hell, yes, Preacher! If I didn't have stuff to do, I'd be in there with her."
"It's the rules of my order." the clearly affronted Shepherd replied. "like the Bible, it symbolizes…"
"Uh huh." Zoe wasn't in the mood for a religious lecture. "River, honey? He's putting the hair away now."
River was unconvinced.
"It doesn't matter. It'll still be there…waiting."
Zoe was about to reply to the girl when her Cap'n walked in, all on his lonesome.
"Mal, Bernoulli's chomping at the bit. Says he wants his merchandise yesterday. "Where's Wash and the others Cap'n?"
"Yeah well, we still got a few wrinkles ta work out on tha deal. By the way, Jayne's some kinda local folk hero." Mal said, shakin' his head. "He's got a song and everythin'."
Zoe didn't believe it, and where was Wash anyway?
"It's true!" Mal declared.
"You tellin' me that Jayne is a…"
"True enough." Mal interrupted. We can use it, anyway. I talked a few pillars a tha Mudder Community inta havin' a little Jayne Day celebration in tha town square tomorrow. It should buy us enough of a distraction ta get tha stolen goods out from under tha Foreman and his crew a prods."
Zoe looked at Mal, open mouthed. Was he serious?
"Wash is back in town takin' in the Jayne-lovin atmosphere. I'll stand guard if he wanna go and partake in tha festivities." Mal smirked.
The Amazon weren't interested in any Jayne lovin' atmosphere, but she did want to see what was goin' on, and she wanted ta be with Wash.
"Thanks Cap'n, I'll be sure ta go check it out." Zoe said as she went ta leave, only ta be stopped by the sudden appearance of tha young cook.
River had felt the rising level of amusement of the Crew in relation to Jayne. And folk hero? Seriously? Still hiding, she allowed her mind to wander and quickly connected with Jayne. It seemed to be true! River frowned as Jayne's mind was assaulted by a wave of lust from a nearby female. He wasn't in the least bit interested, but the woman's thoughts were loud and they were of Jayne. The Mudder woman wished to seduce him! A dire emergency.
Rage built and she stormed out of her hiding place.
"I would also like to witness this, Captain." She kept her voice as even as possible.
"I'm not sure little cook if that's such.."
"Oh let her come." Zoe interrupted. "I'll keep an eye on her and Simon is there anyway."
The Browncoat looked from one woman ta tha other and did tha only thing he could do. He caved.
"Fine. No drinkin' Mudders Milk, dong ma?"
"Sure Sir." Zoe replied as River nodded. Whatever the hell Mudder's Milk was.
Serenity's First Mate and Cook waved as they headed outta tha cargo bay and inta tha night ta find their men.
It didn't take long to find the Tavern as most of the town seemed to be there. Well, it shouldn't have taken a long time, but as the two women crossed the town square they came across the statue of The Hero of Canton, Jayne Cobb.
After getting' over her original shock, Zoe thought it was hilarious. Jayne, a hero!
River, who already thought of Jayne as her hero, was suitably impressed. Time was of the essence however as the Mudder woman was in need of a lesson on the concept of ownership!
Following the raucous noise, they soon arrived at the Tavern, Zoe heading for a clearly drunk Wash whilst River zeroed in on her Zhang fu. He was easy to find as he was the centre of attention. Also easy to find was the woman who had her eyes on Jayne.
Said woman took Jayne's empty glass and turned to the bar to get it refilled. Drink refilled, the woman turned back towards the big man, and River expertly glided in between them, stole the glass from her hand and, using the woman's own momentum, pushed her towards the side of the tavern where she landed on her posterior, shocked.
Jayne was wonderin' where his next drink was. Tha glass would just be taken from his hand and would reappear but a short time later, full. He didn't care none who was doin' the fillin', 'cept they were takin' awful long this time.
Tha drink appeared in front a his face, but before he could take it he felt a warm, soft, woman shaped body press inta his side. Now he vaguely remembered some Mudder woman bein' tha drink refiller, but he weren't interested. Wishin' his jingling was here for about tha 100th time, he looked down ta push tha Mudder woman off him when he saw it weren't no Mudder woman, it where tha jingling in question. She'd popped up on him, again.
Damn if she weren't tha finest gal in tha whole gorram 'Verse!
A course he did what come natural, he kissed her, hard, and she gave as good as she got.
"Whatchya doin' here, baby girl?" he breathed as they broke apart. "Mal's gonna be powerful angry."
"The Captain has given his permission. I came with Zoe. Someone," River nodded towards the now glaring Mudder woman, "needed a lesson in the concept of ownership." River glared right on back at the Mudder woman, 'MINE!' was clearly the message and the look on the young woman's face brooked no argument.
Tha Hero a Canton saw tha looks being' exchanged between tha two and was right chuffed.
"That's my girl!" he said as he kissed her again.
River beamed him a 1000 megawatt smile at the public pronouncement as the big man put his arm around her and pulled her in tight. It was nice. Feeling eyes on her, she turned her head to see her clearly drunk ge ge and Kaylee looking at her wrapped in one of Jayne's massive arms.
Simon, of course, knew, so he just waved. Kaylee was surprised, at first, but when she saw Simon smilin' and wavin' at tha pair she relaxed. Odd, she thought, but the more she considered it, the more she thought it weren't. The big man and the petite cook had been almost inseparable these past couple a months, and if Jayne has taken ta lookin' after River, well, that leaves Simon for me! At that, the young engineer also smiled and waved. Shiny all around!
Jayne was havin' a wonderful time. Bein' a hero was nice, free booze were nicer, but havin' his girl with him was tha best a all. Still, he wanted ta know more about why he was a hero. He was sure he didn't deserve it none.
"So," he asked one of the Mudder's, "the Magistrate, he let ya folks keep all that cash?"
"He did." A young Mudder confirmed. And it pained him, that's fer sure." The Mudder smiled widely. "When he found out, he sent his prods in ta take it back from us, but tha workers resisted."
"Fought the law, huh?" Jayne smirked. Good on 'em.
The young Mudder thought on it fer a second or two.
"If the Mudders are tagether on one thing, there's too many a us to be put down. So in tha end, he just called it a bonus."
"That's one helluva bonus!" Jayne said as he kissed tha top a River's head. She squeaked in delight.
"And then," the young Mudder continued, "when we put that statue a ya in tha town square, he rolled in, wanted ta tear it down. But the whole town rioted."
The big man was genuinely touched.
"Ya guys had a riot? On account a me? A real riot?"
The young Mudder nodded and smiled, clearly taken with Tha Hero a Canton.
"I can't believe you're back." He said, with what mayhaps be a tear in his eye.
Jayne looked him fair in the eye.
"How could I stay away?" he said as he hooked his other arm around the young Mudder.
Tha thought was authentic, even if it shouldn'ta been. Nothin' like this had ever happened in his life a'fore. Most time Jayne Cobb were nothin' but an add on, an accessory, ta the events around him. This time, though, he was tha main attraction. He liked it, kinda, or mebbe it was just the whiskey talkin'?
River didn't mind being only one half of a Jayne Cobb hug. Her big man was genuinely happy, if still confused deep down. He was wondering what happened to his partner. The young psychic, knew, of course, all the details of the entire episode. Yes, what had happened to Jayne's partner in crime at the time, Stitch Hessian? River had an uneasy feeling that they would find out, and it wouldn't be pleasant.
She was brought out of her thoughts as she found herself being raised off the ground and kissed again, this time with overwhelming passion. She responded in kind.
"I think it's time ya and me had some alone time." Her Zhang fu whispered into her ear. Without waiting for a reply, he lifted her easily into his arms and headed for the upstairs rooms. Could it be? Would we….
Tha barkeep had told Jayne he'd be honored if tha big man would be his guest fer tha night, in tha best room.
Kickin' open tha door, he stormed over tha threshold, slammin' tha door shut behind him with his foot. He gently lowered her ta tha ground, then not so gently pulled her inta a sharp embrace, before assaultin' her mouth with his own.
They kissed for a while, before Jayne picked her up once more and strode ta the bed, throwin' her onta it. He kicked off his boots and joined her on tha bed, strokin' her hair lightly and starin' inta her deep chocolate eyes.
"You are so beautiful, baby girl." he said, clearly. She smiled one a her beautiful smiles at him, and he knew he'd do anythin' fer her.
"I love you, Zhang fu." She whispered as she locked her chocolate eyes onto his cobalt blue's.
"I love you, Ai ren." He replied as he kissed her gently.
River was ecstatic. Ai ren! It seemed her Zhang fu had finally accepted that she was his Ai ren! Further thought was derailed as he resumed his kissing assault, the young woman giving as good a she got in that battle.
Jayne reached behind his Ai ren and slowly pulled down tha zipper of her dress. It fell off her shoulders easily, and tha big man finally saw what he had been dreamin' about fer a while. River Tam's, no River Cobb's, soft, creamy white skin in all its magnificent glory. He hesitated at tha sight. Did he have tha right ta defile such pristine beauty?
His Ai ren sensed his hesitation as he stood, and as she matched his pose, her dress pooled at her feet. River didn't give him time to think further, she pulled him down into a long kiss, swiftly pulling his t-shirt over his head as they broke apart.
They stared at each other, as they often did, but in this particular staring contest there would be no losers.
Her hands flew to his belt, which she dispatched easily. Another quick move and his pants were free, also pooling at his feet. River noticed him sway as they kissed again, hands roaming over each others bodies.
He pushed her back onta tha bed, determined ta make love ta his beautiful Ai ren, and she pulled him down onta tha bed as well as she fell.
Landing heavily on her, River was surprised, confused, and then alarmed when nothing further happened. Her Zhang fu had not suddenly expired, he was alive, breathing, and then suddenly…lightly snoring. Zhang fu was sleeping? How? She rolled him over with considerable effort as she processed the situation. He had imbibed copious amounts of alcohol. That must have caused him to lose consciousness. Stupid Zhang fu!
She punched and prodded him, determined to wake him so they could continue their endeavors. It was urgent that they consummate their marriage; she needed to have him fully. It was to no avail, he could not be roused. Stupid, idiotic, Zhang fu! Slapping him, hard, in the head, and determined to salvage what she could of the night, she cuddled in as close as she was able and did the only thing she could. Within minutes the young cook joined her apparently brainless husband in sleep.
Daybreak – Mudder's Bar Rooms
They awoke next morning, and she was happy to find that in the middle of the night he had wrapped her in his arms. She felt safe, and rested. And then angry.
"Stupid, idiotic, brainless, dim witted Zhang fu! WAKE UP!" she screamed as she slapped him again. He started to stir as she wiggled her way out of his embrace, and was fully dressed by the time he opened his eyes. His loss.
"Ah, uh..what.." he mumbled as he sat up. "What's goin' on woman?"
"Not speaking to you. Get dressed. Job will be completed today. Captain is waiting for you downstairs." The look on her face was stern.
It made Jayne squirm, a bit.
"Aw, come on, baby girl." He went to hug her and she deftly slipped out of his grasp.
"Zhang fu must apologize for his lack of performance."
Lack of performance? What the gorram hell, no one accuses Jayne Cobb a that! Still a little drunk, he began ta get angry until he looked at his jingling and saw tears formin' in her beautiful eyes.
"I'm sorry, Ai ren." And he was. Not sure exactly what he was apologizing fer, and not wantin' ta know the exact details, but he saw the tears in her eyes and knew it was because a him. Made him feel all sorts a small.
Ai ren! River brightened immediately at that. It seems the night was not a total loss.
"You are forgiven." She said, blinking away her tears.
"C'mere." He said as he opened his arms, and she fair flew inta them. Her moods could swing about in a second, and he actually found that endearin', if a bit confusin' at times.
"We must go. Kaylee and ge ge are in an argument, and The Captain is close to losing what remains of his patience."
"Then let's go." Walkin' outta tha room and down tha stairs, he put his arm around her and his good mood returned, as did his singin' voice.
"My love for me ain't hard ta explain
Tha Hero a Canton
Tha man they call…MMMMEEE!"
Lil Kaylee and Tha Doc stopped their arguin' as they saw Jayne and River comin' down tha stairs, both smilin'. The fightin' couple stopped their battle, temporarily, as the other couple swept inta tha room. Simon and Kaylee, both thinkin' the same thing, smiled at their respective mei mei and adopted ge ge, getting' smiles in return, but also a shake a tha head from River.
The Cap'n had noticed them comin' down tha stairs tagether, a course, but not makin' tha connection, or more correctly not wantin' to make it, as he had a deal ta do and both ends a tha deal were puttin' powerful amounts a pressure on him ta get it done, quick like.
"Eggs." Jayne suddenly pronounced. "The livin' legend needs eggs. Or mebbe another milk."
"No, tha livin' legend needs ta come with us." Mal's patience was gone. "He's got a little appearance ta make."
"He does?" Jayne had no idea what Mal was talkin' about.
"That's right, " Mal confirmed, this job's gone on way past long enough."
"Yeah, all right." Jayne grumped. "Come on, baby girl," he said givin' River a little squeeze, "I got me important hero-type stuff ta do."
Mal turned and went ta leave, his Head A Security and Chief Cook followin'. His Engineer also followed, but when his Doc tried ta join tha group, said Engineer was less than impressed.
"Mmm, I don't think so." Seems their argument weren't over. "No, mebbe ya oughta stay here. It's about tha time fer a civilized person ta have his breakfast. That's tha sorta thing would be appropriate, don't ya think."
Not waitin' fer a reply, Kaylee stormed off after tha others, leavin' Simon to hisself. Dumbass!
Headin' for tha town square, Mal was lettin' Jayne in on tha plans for tha day.
"So, that's where tha little 'Jayne Celebration' we got planned comes in. Should give us enough time ta get tha goods back on ta Serenity."
"I dunno Mal." Jayne replied. Ya think we should be usin' my fame ta hoodwink folks?"
Mal looked at tha big man like he had two heads.
"Ya better laugh when ya say that."
"No really, Mal. I mean, mebbe there's somethin' ta this. The Mudders? I think I really made a difference in their lives. Ya know….Me, Jayne Cobb."
"I know your name, jackass." Maybe Jayne was still drunk?
"Ya know, they threw a riot on my account? A riot…"
River smiled at her accidental hero. True, he had never meant to enrich the local population, but he had, and it had made a huge difference in their lives, at least for a while.
Before anyone else could speak, the sound of Serenity's Mule grew louder as it approached, carryin' Wash and a clearly amused Zoe.
"Mornin' kids!" Wash beamed.
"Is that Jayne?" Zoe breathed with mock praise. "Is it really him? Wash, pinch me, I must be dreamin'!"
"Oh hell, I'll pinch ya!" Jayne mock leered, earnin' a punch in tha arm from River.
The Crew shared a laugh as Mal gave tha orders.
"Just get on over ta town square, Jayne. Ya fans are waitin'."
Tha big man and tha little cook headed off in that direction while tha rest of tha Crew went ta find tha loot.
Town Square – 15 Minutes Later
"Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne!" The Mudders chanted loudly in unison as the now loaded Mule drove past the gathering.
"They love their boy." Wash remarked, serious for once.
"Just drive by now," Mal ordered, "nice and slow."
"Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne!"
Soon enough, tha Mule was back on Serenity. Mal ordered Zoe and Book ta stow tha loot and Wash ta fire up tha old Firefly, while The Cap'n and Kaylee went ta get Jayne and River.
"Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne! Jayne!"
The man a tha moment stood facin' his fans with his statue formin' a backdrop ta tha proceedin's.
"Speech! Speech!" The Mudders cried.
Jayne raised his hands ta quiet tha crowd. Now fully sober, and ta be perfectly honest feelin' a lot like a heel.
"Uh," he began, "I ain't no good with words. Don't…don't use 'em much, myself." The Mudders chuckled at that. "But I want ta thank ya all fer bein' here, and fer thinkin' so much a me…." He said as he pointed ta his statue.
The big man was genuinely humbled, and River gave him an encouraging smile as he continued, and as Kaylee and The Captain joined her.
"Far as I see it, ya people been given tha shortest end of tha stick ever been offered a human soul in this crap-hill 'Verse…But ya took that end…well, ya took it. And that's..well, I guess that's somethin'." He ended somberly.
The Mudders cheered once again as he finished.
"Wow. That didn't sound half bad." Kaylee was impressed.
"I'm shocked my ownself." So was Mal.
River, basking in the positive emotions from Jayne, suddenly felt a spike of fear from her ge ge, and was about to shout a warning when a shotgun blast loudly sounded. The crowd panicked and parted as the shooter strode forward, dragging a beaten Simon behind him.
Tha shooter, on seeing his prime target, one Jayne Cobb, threw Simon ta tha ground.
"Stitch Hessian…" Jayne murmured, his own ex-partner, assumed ta be dead.
"Well, hey there, Jayne." Stitch chuckled, humorlessly. "Thought I'd make ya watch while I butchered one a your boys." He said as he motioned ta Simon, lyin' prostrate on tha ground.
"He ain't one a mine." Jayne lied, tryin' ta protect his brother-in-law. "Where ya been hidin'? Ya gone and got yerself lookin' mighty hideous."
"Ho ho ho, yeah!" Stitch mock laughed as he advanced on Jayne, leavin' Tha Doc behind.
This allowed Lil Kaylee ta go and rescue tha beaten Simon, pullin' him in ta tha safety of tha crowd.
River was still in front of Stitch, unable to get to Simon, and in any event she knew Simon's injuries to be superficial – and she was worried about what this hideous man had in store for her Zhang fu.
"So what's his about a 'Hero a Canton'?" Stitch demanded. "Was I hearin' that right? Four years a lock-down plays tricks on tha ear."
"I ain't a hero." Jayne shook his head. "Just a workin' stiff like ya." The big man moved tawards Stitch, unafraid but wary.
"Yep, he's right, Jayne is." Stitch laughed, again sans humor. "We used ta work tagether, he and I."
The Cap'n knew his Head a Security was tryin' ta keep the foul man occupied, so he was slowly makin' his way tawards him so he could take care a business. He was almost on him when he was spotted.
Stitch swung his shotgun and pointed it in Mal's face, darin' him ta move.
"Now why don't ya just let ol'Stitch speak his piece?"
Tha Browncoat didn't back down, but couldn't do nothin' neither.
"Go on, then." He simply said.
"Whole lotta money in a Magistrate's safe, weren't there, Jayne? Got away clean, too! But then our shuttle took a hit, and we're goin' down. We dumped tha fuel reserve, dumped tha emergency life support, hell, we even dumped tha seats! Then there was just, Jayne, tha money, and me. And there was no way he was goin' ta drop that money."
"He did!" It was the young Mudder from the bar. "He dropped it on tha Mudders."
"By accident, ya in-bred dung-head!" Stitch yelled in contempt. "He tossed me out first! For six months, we run tagether, he turned me out before I could scream!"
"You'd a done tha same." Jayne accused.
Stitch vigorously shook his head.
"No, never! Ya protect tha man you're with. Ya watch his back. Everybody knows that! Well, except tha Hero a Canton…"
Jayne thought Stitch was right. If tha man were worth it. Stitch Hessian was a yi da dwei bun chou go se. Some a tha things that he'd seen that man do turned his stomach, even now. He woulda parted ways with tha hun dun after that job, even if it didn't go south.
"Ya gonna talk me ta death, buddy?" Jayne had just about had enough a this. "Is that tha plan?"
"This is tha plan." Stitch smiled as he raised his gun and fired, tha loud report a tha shotgun echoing throughout tha town square.
In that spilt second River thought Jayne was going to die. Rage exploded within her, and her Academy programming activated. She would avenge her Zhang fu.
Jayne was not dead, however. As Stitch fired, tha young Mudder dived in front of Jayne, partially blockin' the spray of shot from tha shotgun. He collapsed ta tha ground, mortally wounded, but he had saved his Hero.
Mostly. The big man had caught the edge of the blast in his shoulder, which was bleedin' profusely. He managed ta draw his Bowie knife, Binky, and threw it inta Stitch's chest, before he collapsed ta his knees his ownself.
Stitch, now badly wounded himself, advanced on Jayne. If he was ta die, he'd make sure he got Jayne Cobb first!
He didn't get tha chance.
Outta nowhere he heard a feral screech, and turned ta see a small form flyin' right at him.
The Academy's best and brightest was furious. She knew, now, that Jayne was not dead. But he had been hurt, and this hideous man was bent on completing the job before he succumbed himself. This could not be allowed to happen.
Flying through the air, her leg connected with his face, sending him reeling backwards. He regained his balance and charged the small woman, she side stepped him easily, and using his own momentum as she had done earlier, she sent him careening into the statue of Jayne.
Dazed, but determined, Stitch went to pick himself up when River's knee connected with the back of his neck, sending his face back into the dirt. River decided to finish him, and quickly grabbed the ugly man's head and twisted, breaking his neck. The threat now eliminated, River's Academy programming terminated, and with Stitch Hessian now lying dead on the ground, it allowed her to rush to the aid of her husband.
Meanwhile, Mal had commed Zoe to get her pi gu out here with Tha Doc's bag. Jayne and Simon hisself would be in need a it. Orders given, he was shocked ta see River finish off Stitch. Who woulda thunk it?
Simon knew his own wounds were superficial, so when Zoe appeared with his bag he immediately went to work on Jayne. There was a lot of blood, bit it wasn't as bad as it looked. He put a temporary pressure bandage on the wound that would last until he got Jayne back on the ship and into the Infirmary. The big man would be able to move under his own power.
Shocked at tha turn of events, Jayne allowed Simon ta tend ta him while River fussed. He held her hand with his good arm, amazed and what she done. Took a grown man, twice her size, down in ten seconds flat. Sure, he was injured, but…it were still all manner a shiny!
In the aftermath, River had worried that her Zhang fu would reject her now that he had actually seen what she was capable of. She could feel the love pouring off him, and she could hear him saying to himself how she was 'all manner a shiny' for being able to do what she did. They shared a quick smile as ge ge finished applying the pressure bandage.
Within a few minutes of tha fight endin', the bleedin' had stopped. With tha adrenaline wearin' off, tha big man could see tha Mudder crowd still in shock. Ta his own dismay he looked over ta tha young Mudder, and silently thanked him fer his life. With his wound, and with his Ai ren's actions, he'd almost forgotten tha young man's sacrifice.
Movin' over ta tha young Mudder, his anger spiked as he rolled him over with his good arm. Although grateful, he was still shocked someone would do tha fer him, other than maybe tha jingling, and thinkin' of it bein' her lyin' there made him even angrier still.
Ta his shame he took it out on tha dead Mudder.
"Ya stupid piece a….what did ya do that fer? What's wrong with ya? Didn't ya hear a word he said?"
Still angry, he turned his ire on tha crowd.
"All a ya!" He yelled "Ya think there's someone just goin' ta drop money on ya?! Money they could use?! Well, there ain't people like that! There's just people like me.." he finished more quietly.
Somewhat deflated, he felt River come up ta his side, but before he could turn tawards her a Mudder boy appeared with Binky, reverently offerin' it ta him. That made him angry again, and he shook River off as he snatched Binky with his good arm. Still mad, he stalked over ta his statue, and ignorin' tha pain in his shoulder he fair toppled the effigy, ta tha shock of tha assembled Mudders.
River came up to him again, and took his hand. Poor Zhang fu. So many conflicting emotions. He allowed her to gently guide him back to the ship, not a word passed between the Crew as they somberly made their way home to Serenity.
Jayne paused as he entered tha ship, but couldn't bring hisself ta look back at the Mudder town. River tugged his hand softly and they walked back inta tha ship tagether.
"Wash," Mal commed, "get us tha gorram hell offa this mud ball."
"Yeah, I'm workin' on it." Wash freaked as his navigation screen showed they were landlocked, but before he could panic, the landlock was released and they were free to go. Strange. But he'll take it.
Wash, as usual, smoothly lifted the old Type 3 Firefly, and before long Serenity was screaming for The Black.
Later, after Simon had properly tended ta his wounds, Jayne found hisself alone on tha catwalk.
River knew he needed to be alone for now, so she let him be. Still needing something to do, and hours from the next meal, she decided to occupy her mind with the conundrum of the Bible.
Feeling The Shepherd approach, she was in no mood for any further arguments with him.
"Just keep walkin', Preacher man." She said in her best Jayne impersonation.
And he did. River smirked to herself as he left.
After a while, and unable to concentrate on her admittedly illogical task, she went in search of Jayne. He was still on the catwalk, leaning on the railing – and talking to The Captain.
Mal had originally come ta talk ta his Head a Security about his Cook. Clear as day they had somethin' goin', and he didn't really mind none. Seems everyone was paired up on his boat. Wash and Zoe, a course, Doc and Kaylee looked ta be getting' on mighty fine, and if he was honest with hisself, maybe there was somethin' 'tween hisself and Tha Registered Companion. If he was honest. Anyways, he was Cap'n, so he had a right ta know.
Another thing he wanted ta talk on was his Cook's fightin' abilities. Knowin' Jayne was teachin' her, and seein' it in action, were two entirely different things. Girl, no, young woman, was a genius, why shouldn't she be good at, well, everythin'?
Still, he needed words ta be exchanged with his Head a Security on both topics. Only he wasn't talkin' none, at least on those. Mal didn't push, he knew tha big man had ta be powerful shook up on what happened on that gorram moon. He could always talk on it with his friend later.
Jayne suddenly spoke up.
"Don't make no sense." Tha big man began. "What…why tha hell did that Mudder have ta go and do that fer, Mal? Jumpin' in fronta that shotgun blast. Hell, there weren't a single one a them that understood what happened out there. They're probably stickin' that statue right back up."
"Most like." Mal quietly said.
"I don't know why that eats at me so."
Despite the situation, Mal was pleased. Looks like Jayne's journey from mercenary hun dun ta trustful Head a Security, and friend, was well underway, if not nearin' the end. He suspected that a little cook may have played a big part in tha transformation.
"Its my estimation," Mal started, "that every man ever got a statue made a him, was one kinda summbitch or another. Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need ta survive in that mud hellhole."
"Don't make no sense." Jayne whispered as he lightly shook his head.
Tha Cap'n saw his Cook appear at tha end of tha catwalk and took that as his cue ta leave. He nodded as he passed, and got a smile in trade. Tha Browncoat was relieved his decision ta keep her and her brother on had seemed ta work out. His luck weren't usually that good….
Said little Cook put a tiny arm around her Zhang fu's middle and was suddenly pulled into a full hug. They stood that way for a long time, not needing to exchange words, but each knowing that whatever happened, they'd face it together.
A/N: Next, Out of Gas re-imagined.
Chinese:
Hun dun – Jerk
Go se – crap
Jingling – Pixie
Zhang fu – Husband
Dong ma? – Understand?
Bao hu zhe – Protector
Zhe shi she me lan dong xi? – What kind of rotten food is this?
Yee-soo ta ma duh – Jesus, Mary and Joseph (that's the clean version!)
Chou ma niao – Stinkin' horse piss
Ai ren – Spouse, wife in this context
Mei mei – Little sister
Ge ge – Big brother
Yi da dwei bun chou go se – Big steaming pile of crap
Pi gu – Butt