Chapter 2

At Russia's house it was really cold but really warm also. Cold because there was no affection anywhere to be found but warm because the heat was on.

"Let me show you to the guest bedroom." Ivan was being really polite when just moments ago he was jumping for joy.

"Where are Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia?"

"Latvia is at Sea land's house with Sweden and Finland, Lithuania is keeping Belarus away from me, and Estonia is at a meeting with England, there bosses are speaking about some trade thing."

"Oh ok." For some reason I was disappointed that they were gone. I really shouldn't think that because Russia is being very nice and hasn't done anything to hurt me.

"Here we are you bedroom is right next to mine so if you need anything…"

"Wow this is amazing thank you Ru…Ivan!" The bed was king sized with a plain green comforter with a single sunflower on it. I found it cute that is had matching sheets and pillows. Next to the bed was a huge window and it showed the mountains that separated Finland and Russia. I could see the white peaks but the rest of the mountains were gray and the ground had many different shades of green, each shade was bright and comforting. The room in general looked like a picture of a sunflower field.

"It makes me happy to come into this room."

"Why don't you sleep in here?"

"Because I don't deserve the happiness this place gives me."

"Don't say that, everyone deserves happiness no matter what."

"Do you mean it?"

"Yes I mean it. You deserve to be happy, alright?"

"Thank you."

"No thanks necessary."

"Still thank you because you make me happy."

"You're welcome?" I just shrugged and walked to the bed. "Could you show me where the bathroom is?"

"Da." Ivan grabbed my hand and showed me to the restroom. While he was holding my hand a blush began to creep upon my cheek. His hand was so warm and I liked being noticed even if it was by the largest and scariest nation. Scratch that, not the scariest nation because he truly isn't that scary maybe a little confusing but not scary. Plus Ivan is really cute especially when he's happy.

"DO you have anything that I could wear for pajamas, I'm going to take a shower, if that is all right, and I don't have any clothes here."

"Of coarse I'll go get you something and you can start taking a shower, Da?" As soon as Russia left the room I turned on the water and began to strip. I looked in the mirror and saw the scars on my chest. Only a selective few of them were battle scars. I traced my finger over the scar above my heart. I remember this on clearly it was the first night I tried to kill myself.

"Why does no one ever notice me? Why can't they see that I exist? They probably wouldn't even notice if I died." I placed the6in blade right over my heart ready to end it. Centimeter after centimeter I pushed the knife in. The father it went in the more it hurt and the more I just wanted to become numb. The blood was pushing itself out of the open wound dripping down my bare chest. It looked like semi-congealed Jell-o running down my chest. Just before I was about to puncture my heart I heard a knocking on my window. Being the nice person I am, I pulled out the knife which hurt like hell and covered the wound with a gauze pad and put a shirt back on, and went to go see who it was. When I looked out the window I saw a polar bear cub. I opened up the window and took him in.

What ever god was trying to keep me alive it worked because Kuma is my best friend. I chuckled at the memory even though it's nothing I should laugh at. I climbed into the shower and thought about my other scars. Something good came out of everyone of them. Each scar I have I was noticed in the end but with Russia I don't need a scar to be noticed. I begin to smile, truly smile. It's not that fake smile I put on everyday that no one seems to notice but I actually smiled so brightly it reached my eyes.

Knock knock knock. I heard Russia's paw hitting the door and I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Come in." I say hiding behind the curtain but poking out my head to see him. "Thank you Ivan this means a lot to me."

"You're welcome Matvey." After a couple minutes I didn't hear the Russian leave so I peeked behind the curtain again to find him taking off his clothes. I just watch the show not wanting him to stop because this was a beautiful sight but also wanting to know what he was doing. When he got his boxers off I almost fainted because he was so big.

"So everything is bigger in Russia." I thought to myself.

"My Matvey like what he sees, Da?"

"Yes…I mean no…I mean… What are you doing?" I finally manage as he gets into the shower with me.

"I'm going to take a shower with you, Da?" there was no trying to stop him because he was going to get what he wanted anyway. If I say no I will feel as if I just kicked a puppy and I will say yes because I would feel really bad, so why not just skip the first step and say yes. Anyway his body was amazing, not too many muscles but just enough to be toned.

"Sure, but I was just about to get out."

"It's ok; you'll stay with me won't you?" How is it that Russia can look like a little kid when he is so big and strong?

"Yea, I'll stay with you." The atmosphere in the room seemed to brighten a little bit. Without warning Ivan pressed his body right up against mine and I jumped but not enough to notice….or so I thought.

"Why did you jump Matvey I was just grabbing the soap?"

"I-It was n-nothing." A blush grew across my face without my permission and this seemed to encourage him and he pressed his body closer to me making it seem that the soap was farther out of reach than what it truly was. I grabbed the soap and handed it to him quickly because I could feel myself getting warm down there. He began to pout but I looked away and continued to wash myself.

"Matvey do you think you could wash my back I can't seem to reach it all." He giggled and handed me a wash cloth and the soap. I began to scrub his back gently but not to gently because I wanted to get all the dead skin off. Wow don't I sound motherly?

While I was scrubbing his back he turned and faced me. As soon as I noticed that we were facing each other I turned around because I was embarrassed about my size which was extra small compared to him. He turned me back around and hugged me.

"I-Ivan w-what are you d-doing?"

"I'm giving you a hug. That is how one shows affection to someone else, right?"

"Yeah b-but we are both friends."

"Don't you want to be more than friends Matvey? I've liked you for a very long time but I didn't know how to show my affection and now that I have you don't like it."

"It's not that I don't want to be more than friends it's just that we hardly know each other."

"So, if you knew more about me than you would be my boyfriend, right?"

"Yeah." I nod into his shoulder and then he breaks the hug and I inwardly pout.

"I love Vodka and sunflowers. I have terrible mood swings and I can't stop thinking about you because you are so cute and when you are happy I am. I am the largest nation and I really hate America. The snow makes me feel cold and lonely. Every night I have nightmares about killing myself which leads to me drinking. I enjoy summer nights because they are warm and give me hope that sunflowers will one day grow in my back yard for me to view everyday. I also hate the winter because it takes away that hope. I also..."

"It's ok Russia; you didn't need to list everything off like that."

"Please don't call me Russia it makes me feel, immoral and nasty. All the things that Russia has done I'm not proud of but Ivan is just human and can only make simple human mistakes."

"Ok Ivan." For the first time ever I saw his eyes smile, not just his face but his eyes. I hugged him this time and almost knocked him over. Some how I forgot that we were both completely naked and then I heard him giggle.

"What?"

"Matvey is very excited about our new relationship." I look down and quickly covered up and turned away, a blush so red I looked like a tomato. "No need to do that I think you body is very beautiful." He turned me back towards him and moved my hands away. With the blush still in place I allowed him to do so but when he put his hand around my member everything went black.