A/N: Hi everyone! I am so sorry that this took so long… But the good news is this is a decent sized chapter and I finally got out of my writing slump! Please let me know what you think.

I really appreciate all of the readers who have joined the Control saga with favorites and follows! It really means a lot! Please feel free to leave your reviews!

Disclaimer: I do not own SoA

The ride to the tiny town in the middle of the California countryside was uneventful. Arika shared a few details as she could with her co-worker who was nice enough to give her the lift out of town that she had so desperately needed. Arika was thankful for God's small favors as she handed her friend a roll of cash before taking her bags and waddling with her round belly into Charming's only hotel without being recognized.

She had gotten settled in fairly easy, but once the brunette had made herself comfortable in the generic hotel room she realized that she had no idea what her next step was. How does one go about returning from 5 months of playing dead?

'Hey guys, just kidding! April fools!'

It's not as though they didn't already know she was alive… Jax had found her.

Arika's pale green eyes stared up at the ceiling while she rubbing her belly in soothing circles. The 20 year old had never been a big believer in fate – how could she be? With so much bad shit that happened to her, there was no way that she could place her faith in the idea that things just happened for cosmic shits and giggles. Not to mention the fact that it went against her control freak nature to let some higher power call the shots.

Jax walking into her house though? Of all the chicks for him to give a ride, it had to be Jason's sister? He just HAD to pee at that moment instead of waiting to get to Anna's?

That was a little too much for Arika to chalk up to mere coincidence. Her cover had been blown, and here she was again. Without a thought of what would happen next, she had fled back to Charming, like it had all the answers even though it was the cause of all of her uncertainty.

The baby could feel her tension, because he kicked at her hand. Arika smiled and looked at her belly. Whatever she was going to do, she had to remember, that her decisions were now being made for two.

-SoA-SoA-SoA-

There was a dark cloud hanging over the clubhouse as the MC rolled back into town. Jax and Opie had taken some serious convincing to leave Auburn – not wanting to leave the last place they knew Arika to be, but Jason had been stalking their every move around the small town. It was clear that even if they had found Arika, that he was going to get in the way. It was better to come back to their home turf and regroup. Jax was sitting on the couch, taking a long drag off of a joint. It had been almost a year now that Arika had shown up in Charming again – and she had put on a show for all of them to see. He smiled sadly at the memory.

That night of her girl on girl exhibition Jax had thought that Arika was just a rebellious kid with a bitch for a mother. He wished not that it was that simple. His stomach twisted at the thoughts of everything that he had found out about the girl when she had been in Charming. Guilt crashed over him as he thought about her accusations she had thrown at Opie. Arika's feeling of abandonment.

His Arika had been through so much that he could understand how a hard reset would be in her brains best interest. It was almost cruel to try to put her back in the hell of remembering.

"Where are you, brother?" Jax looked up from his joint. Chibs had joined him, pulling him from the fantasy of what a carefree Arika would be like.

"Just thinking about better days." he said ruefully.

"Those better days are going to come back around." the Scott promised reaching for the joint. Jax smiled grimly. He wanted to believe it, but he wasn't sure he could. Better days didn't happen for Arika. As much as he hated it, it seemed to be the truth.

SoA-SoA-SoA

It took two days to Arika to build up the courage to stick her head out. She had secluded herself in the hotel – living off of delivery food and the vending machines. The level of anxiety that she faced every time she even thought about going outside of her little was overwhelming. But she needed to refill her vitamins, and fresh air was always important.

Dressed in a baggy hoodie and sunglasses Arika finally took the plunge.

Her right hand pulled at the rubber band on around her left wrist before letting it snap back down against her flesh as she walked down Main Street. She had given up cutting for the sake of the baby, but she needed help getting a grip on the insane emotions in her head and heart. She was just prolonging the inevitable at this point. She had come back to Charming, there was only one way this would – she froze on the corner of Main and 3rd and turned back to look the direction she had come from. She could hear the roar of their bikes coming through the quaint little town and her heart shook and vibrated along with the engines.

She recognized their bikes just as easily as their faces. Tig and Bobby were leading the quad and Opie and Jax were behind. Arika stepped back slightly, leaning against the wall, watching them turn right onto 3rd, driving in the opposite direction from her. There was a sharp pain in her back that she ignored as she took long slow breaths, massaging her baby bump.

Arika had wanted to call out. She had wanted to throw back her disguise, and scream out to them that she was there. There was an uncertainty that crippled her. Would they even want her back in Charming after what she had done?

More pain shot through her back and sides and Arika gasped. She needed to calm down. Her body was screaming it at her. She would some back for the vitamins. Right now, she needed to rest. The brunette pushed away from the wall but action made her dizzy. Something was wrong. More pain. A gushing sensation between her legs.

NO! She thought clutching her belly as she fell to her knees. It was too early. The baby would be too weak. This wasn't right.

"Are you alright?"

"Call 911" she gasped, breathing hard and groaning as another contraction hit her. She tried to steady her breathing; she stared at the puddle below her on the cement. It was starting to blur as tears filled her pale green eyes. This was a sign from God. She was going to lose her baby – she shouldn't have come back here. She couldn't fight back the anxiety. She was losing focus on breathing. All she could feel was pain and heartbreak as she hyperventilated and fell into darkness.

SoA-SoA-SoA

Returning from a routine inspection at the Bluebird warehouse, the four bikers backed their bikes into their usually spaces along the guardrail. The older members made a B-line for the clubhouse to give a report to the club's president, and Jax was on their heels until he realized that Opie was still sitting across his bike.

"What's up bro?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the giant who was staring intently at the handlebars.

"I dunno." Opie said looking up finally after a pause. "I just got the strangest vibe riding through town. Like dejavu." Jax laughed and leaned against his bike, pulling out his cigarettes.

"Like what, you've seen this town before?" he joked as he lit up.

"Hah hah." Opie snapped back finally dismounting his ride and following Jax's lead with the cigarettes. "I don't know…" he took a long drag, staring at the clouds for a moment replaying the ride, trying to pinpoint the moment the weird hit. "Did you see the girl who was watching us?"

"We've always got girls watching us Ope." Jax retorted. "Chicks dig a guy who can ride." He said rolling his hips for emphasis on the double meaning to his words. Opie laughed and shook his head.

"I dunno dude, that's the only thing that I could th-Shit" He cut off his own sentence seeing the all too familiar and unwelcome green army jeep pulling onto the lot. Jax turned and cursed as well, throwing his cigarette on the ground and stomping it out before heading up the lot to meet the Deputy Chief who was exiting his vehicle.

"What can we help you with officer?" Jax said with his best boy scout voice. David Hale was a pain in the club's ass, but he tried not to make that problem worse. Hale looked grim and unhappy to be there. That meant that whatever it was, he wasn't there to bust the club for something. The rest of the club had filed out onto the lot, but they hung back, letting their VP handle the up and coming officer.

"The club filed a missing persons report on Arika Blake about six months ago. Is that right?" Hale asked blandly. The moment her name crossed the cop's lips, Jax's body went rigid.

"That's right." He answered, glancing at Opie who was the only one standing close enough to have heard Hales words as well.

"And the club hasn't had any contact with her in that time?" Jax flashed momentarily on their moments together in Auburn, but Hale didn't need to know about that.

"If we knew where she was don't you think we'd call off the dogs, not that you're doing much good." Opie answered for him.

"I find it hard to believe that with a town this small you didn't know that Arika was here in Charming." The bikers couldn't help but exchange looks with each other, shock clearly painted across their faces.

"Where is she?" Jax asked impatiently.

"I have a few more questions-"Jax grabbed the front of Hales shirt pulling him closer.

"Where is she?" he repeated more forcefully. Opie grabbed his arm and pulled him back from the officer. Jax backed away reluctantly as Clay, Tig and Happy approached the cop to investigate what had caused Jax's outburst.

"You won't do her any good in jail for assault." Opie said quietly to his brother in arms.

"She's dead." Jax croaked, his legs feeling weak as the words passed his lips.

"What? You don't know that Jax."

"Why else is Hale here? Why isn't she?" the blonde said furiously pointing at the cop. Opie opened his mouth and then closed it again. He didn't have an answer. There was more commotion behind the pair and Jax turned to see Hale splayed out with Happy standing over him.

"She's in St Thomas." Tig called to the pair, smiling, clearly amused that Happy had decked the cop for his unwillingness to co-operate.

Just like that, Jax and Opie were men with a mission, and they were gone again.

SoA-SoA-SoA

Jax immediately knew that there would be resistance when they reached the emergency room. He was thankful however to see that Unser was sitting in the waiting room. He could help ease their way.

"Where is she chief?" Jax asked as he drew even with cop. The old man groaned as he got to his feet.

"Hale found you I see." He said smiling slightly. "Arika just came out of surgery. She went into labor early, they had to perform an emergency C-section." Jax was wide eyed as he looked at Opie who looked just as horrified, though Opie just found out that Donna was pregnant, so a pregnancy gone wrong sounded like a real horror story.

"Jesus Christ." Jax whispered, running his hand over his face. The girl couldn't catch a break. "Is she okay? What about the baby? Is the baby okay?"

"I haven't heard anything yet son." The cop answered. Jax backed away, taking several steps, and trying to calm his racing heartbeat with long deep breaths.

"Where is she?" Jax repeated turning back to the cop. He needed to lay his eyes on her. He needed to touch her. "She's in recovery."

SoA-SoA-SoA

Sun was shining through the window and Arika felt like there wasn't a single worry in the world as she basked in the warmth. She felt light as a feather floating through the air. She could hear someone talking to her, but she was too content in her sleep to absorb the words.

The troubled girl was having the best dreams of her life. She had never left Charming as a child so she had never been subjected to the hell Joslyn had put her through. She was surrounded by SAMCRO, and laughter never seemed to leave her pale green eyes. The scars that she was all too familiar with that covered her body were nowhere to be seen. She was happy and free from life's troubles.

SoA-SoA-SoA

The rest of the club had caught up to him by the time a nurse had finally told him where to find Arika. The club moved as a single pack as they went to the third floor to find Arika, and answers. The moment that Jax drew even with the door, his pace slowed. The slender doctor standing at the foot of Arika's bed turned and spotted the club.

"Shit." Gemma muttered as a blast from her son's past stepped out of the room, closing the door behind. Tara pushed her hair back from her face and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Jax!" Tara said with wide eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked, looking at the mob of anxious bikers.

"Arika Blake – She's family." Jax said nodding towards the room that Tara had just exited.

"When was the last time you saw her?" Tara asked slowly. Jax frowned and shook his head.

"She's been M.I.A. for months. We didn't even know she was pregnant." Jax answered for the club.

"She's got a lot of scars, not all of them-"

"What about the baby?" Opie asked cutting off the doctor, all too aware what road the doctor was going to go down.

"He's 15 weeks premature. His lungs are under developed and he has a congenital heart defect." Tara explained gently. "Both are serious on their own but together…" she trailed off. Jax was looking past his old flame, at the girl who was sleeping comfortably despite the machines and monitoring equipment connected to her. "…Chance, and I'm afraid that's being optimistic." Jax barely caught Tara's words as he stepped past her. He had been chasing Arika so long, and now that he was this close, he just wanted to put his hands on her and feel that she was real.

SoA-SoA-SoA

"Hey baby." Gemma said softly somewhere in the distance and the words caused a knot in Arika's stomach. "How's she doing?" the words were so far away and echoed strangely though Arika's head as she looked around the kitchen. She couldn't quite remember how she had gotten here.

"Gemma?" she called looking around for the matron she could hear and not see.

"She looks so peaceful." Arika turned again on the spot as she heard Jax speak.

"Jax?" she called leaving the small kitchen and moving down the hall towards the back of the house. Who's house was this? It was familiar yet part of her brain was telling her that she didn't know this place at all.

"Why can't she just catch a break?" Jax's voice asked. As Arika continued to move, she could feel her body starting to get heavier. "After everything she's been through, and now this?"

"You were born with the same heart defect you know." Gemma answered as Arika turned a corner and found a door. "You and Thomas both. It's the family flaw." Why were they talking about heart defects? Arika pushed the door at the end of the hall open and looked around a baby blue nursery.

Jax looked down at Arika's pale face and brushed her hair back softly. Even sedated, the gentle touch seemed enough to stir the girl. She opened her eyes and Jax swore in that moment that it was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen.

"Am I still dreaming?" she asked groggily. He smiled sown at her, taking her hand in his.

"No darlin, I'm as real as it gets." He answered. Arika was so tired, but she felt strange. She looked down at herself and jerked, trying to sit up, realizing that her belly had deflated, her baby was gone. Her body was still heavy and felt flimsy.

"Easy baby, you'll rip a stitch." Gemma said appearing on her other side.

"My baby. What happened to my baby?" Arika asked clutching at her belly as if she would find her bump still there if she looked hard enough. Heart monitors started to beep faster.

"He's in the neonatal unit." Gemma answered in her sweetest voice, but Arika wasn't listening. She had to get to her baby. She tried to pull herself up, but she was still so heavily drugged.

"Arika look at me." Jax said firmly cupping her face with both hands blocking out the rest of the room so that her wild pale green eyes met his. "We'll get a nurse to take you to see him. But you can't rip out your IV's and shit. Okay? You need to breathe." He instructed. "I'm here, and I'm not letting anything happen to you or your baby."

"Abel." She said weakly, trying not to cry. "His name is Abel."

"I like that." He said gently, stroking her pale skin with his tanned thumb. He wiped away the tears that were leaking from her eyes, but he didn't call attention to them. He could not imagine what new hell the young mother was going through in this moment. Gemma backed out of the room to find a nurse, but Jax wasn't letting go of Arika. He had waited six long months to find her again. He wasn't letting her go even for a moment.