A/N: Sorry for the delay, I have been trying to find the best way to move the story along. Arika hasn't been as active in my brain lately. But I think she's making a comeback!

Thanks for all the love! It makes me get off my butt and put fingers to keys. Keep it coming ya'll.

Arika had been officially discharged from St. Thomas three days ago, but she had not left her child's side for a moment longer than absolutely needed. The brunette had made a nest of sorts in corner of the unit beside Abel's incubator. She had mastered the art of sleeping in the rocking chair provided by the hospital, her hand resting against her three week olds cheek.

Gemma had tried to coax her niece into coming home, but the girl didn't listen. She didn't care about much of anything except the tiny life that was resting in the plastic house. There was always a patch nearby, but Arika hadn't spoken to anyone about her time away. She didn't know what to do or what to say - none of it mattered really. Her existence was now directly connected to the tiny life in front of her.

"Hey Darlin." Arika turned her pale green eyes up from her baby boy to Jax who had been to see them every single day. He handed her the styrofoam cup of chai that he brought her every morning and then turned his attention to Abel. "How's little man doing today?" he asked looking down at the tiny human.

"He's a fighter." Arika croaked sipping the chai gratefully.

"Just like his mother." Jax said softly shooting her a sideways glance. The brunette looked like hell. She hadn't showered or slept in a bed since she had been discharged. She was wearing the same baggy sweats that Jax had brought her. He made sure the prospect was bringing her three squares a day, but Half-Sack reported that she wasn't eating nearly enough.

"His daddy too." Now she really had his attention. This was the most Arika had ever said about the father of her child. Jax assumed it was the cop that she had been shacking up with in Auburn.

"You gonna tell the dad?" he asked trying to be casual as he pulled the regular chair Arika used as part of her makeshift bed around to face the baby.

"It's complicated." she said with a shrug. Sipping the latte the VP had brought her. "Why burden someone with this pain? Why tell someone they have a kid just to have that yanked away?"

"I would want to know." Jax admitted looking at the boy. The tiny continuation of Arika had captured and shattered the bikers' heart the moment he had laid eyes on the tiny bundle. The long silence caught his attention and he looked at Arika who was watching him closely. "What's wrong?" he asked, instantly concerned. He reached for her but she stood up and moved away from him.

"Nothing." she said shrugging and looking down at the baby, slipping a hand into one of the small arm holes and gently caressing the back of his hand. Jax set aside his own coffee and stood as as well, hovering just over Arika's shoulder.

"Talk to me sweetheart." he pleaded. Arika shook her head and inched away from him. "The club has questions." he said trying a more direct approach. Three weeks had gone by and Jax had run interference, enacting a complete embargo on questions of any kind regarding the time she had spent missing.

"None of that matters Jax." she said brushing him off.

"Last time you left us in the dark, we lost you." Jax reminded her, his hand twitching, tempted to reach out for her.

"I'm right here." she countered. Jax ran his hand over his face and growled. He wanted to scream. He wanted to shake her until she came to her senses. His frustration was starting to surpass the fear of pushing her away. He opened his mouth to speak but a rapping in the door shortly before it opened cut him off.

"Am I interrupting?" Jax looked at the surgeon from his past and stepped back from Arika shaking his head.

"Not at all doc." he answered, not bothering to hide the disappointment in his tone as he stepped away from Arika.

"How are you doing?" Tara asked Arika As she approached Abel's incubator and picked up his chart. "You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I'm doing okay." the younger girl said dismissively. Tara looked at Arika and then at Jax who was leaning back against wall now. Jax shook his head at the doc.

"Abel's is doing really well. The steroids have really helped his lung development. Doctor Nameed thinks that his lungs are almost strong enough to take him off the ventilation. If we can stabilize his breathing we'll go in and fix his heart." Arika smiled brightly at the news.

"That's fantastic." Arika said looking back at Jax who was smiling with her. "How much longer will we be here?"

"Abel will need to stay in NICU for another 4 to 6 weeks. You need to go home." Arika's smile faded some. "You are still healing. You are in rough shape Arika. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of Abel when he comes home." Arika looked down at the infant and frowned. She hadn't planned that far ahead. She and Abel didn't have a place to call home. Her mind was revving up, she wasn't thrilled about the idea of leaving Abel behind.

"He needs me here." Arika argued.

"He needs you healthy." Jax interjected stepping beside her again. "Listen to Tara, and come home." Jax said placing a gentle hand on her hip, but Arika jerked away as if he's hit her. He swallowed the hurt that came with her rejection.

"To be honest, the administration is concerned about your presence in the NICU" Tara explained. "Your current lack of hygiene and stability make you a liability to the hospital." Tara said crossing her arms. "I was able to pull some strings so that I could talk to you instead of them having security forcibly remove you."

"They can't keep me from Abel." Arika said vehemently, stepping towards Tara aggressively. Jax moved halfway between them.

"That's not what we're saying, not at all. You need to go home, and shower, and sleep in a real bed. You are welcome to come back, but you can't live here anymore." Tara said gesturing to the nest Arika had made in the corner. Arika's nostrils flared in anger, and she swallowed hard before looking down at her son.

"Fine." she hissed before she stormed out of the NICU. Jax sighed and stepped towards the door but paused and looked back at Tara.

"Thank you. For everything." he said earnestly. She smiled at him as she replaced Abel's chart. "We're been trying for days to get her to come home. And everything you've done for Abel..."

"I want to help your family Jax." she said looking down at Abel. "I asked to let me assist in his surgery. I know what this did to Thomas... I don't want that for Abel." Jax was about to speak but Half-Sack appeared at the door.

"Arika asked me to take her to the Clubhouse, she said she didn't want to wait, that okay with you Jax?" The prospect asked nervously.

"I'll be right there, I'll take her." The blonde said, Half-Sack swallowed.

"She doesn't want you to take her." He stammered. Jax frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Fine. Straight to clubhouse. No detours." Sack nodded and murmured a goodbye to the doc. "Wait!" he said picking up the latte he had brought Arika. "She needs to drink this. All of it." He said handing over the drink. The prospect nodded and backed out of the room taking the drink him.

"That how you keeping her on her meds?" Tara asked after the biker bowed out of the room. Jax sighed and leaned against the wall nodding.

"I don't think she'd take them willingly. She's too much of a… A control freak." He said with a bitter laugh. "But, you've seen what she's capable of to keep that control." Tara nodded slowly.

"She needs to be monitored closely Jax. She's not stable. Even with medication, she could still be a danger."

"Don't talk about her like that. She's not crazy Tara." He said defensively.

"She's covered in scars. She's a junkie, Jax. Just because it's not coming from a needle doesn't mean it's not a problem."

"We're taking care of it." He snapped, starting to get more than a little annoyed with Tara's attack on Arika.

"Yeah, I can see that you've got it all under control. She could have killed your son if she had opened a vein during the pregnancy." Jax shook his head.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked, shaking his head. Tara's eyes widened a bit. "You think Abel is my kid?" he said with a laugh. "I thought doctors were supposed to be smart."

"I just assumed with his heart…" She said looking down at Abel. "You and Thomas both had the same heart defect." Jax looked down at the tiny infant. "And the way you take care of her, I just assumed you were together."

"She's-"

"Family. I know. I'm sorry." Tara said raising her hands apologetically, though Jax was looking a little bit green around gills. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just don't appreciate you attacking Arika this way. We're doing the best that we can." He explained. "She hasn't exactly had it very easy. Let us do what we do best."

"Cover up the problem?" she asked. Jax looked like she had been slapped by her words. His mind was reeling a mile a minute. "I'm not trying to be a bitch. I'm genuinely concerned." She added, realizing that her words had carried a tone that she hadn't intended.

"We're trying." He said again. "We know she's sick. We know. We're trying to help her get through it. She's been in Charming for barely 2 months total – and half of that, she was on the run, and she was hiding from us when she came back" He said with earnest, his eyes still on Arika's little bundle of joy. "We're trying… I'm trying."

Truth be told, as much that it killed her soul to be aware from the tiny bundle that embodied her heart, the hot water of the shower felt amazing on her body. Washing away the grime of the hospital and letting the pressure work out the kinks in her muscles that were created from days of sleeping in the makeshift bed of chairs felt incredible. When she finally stepped out of the shower she was a rosy pink from turning the hot water on a little too high. She dressed in a pair of shorts and a tanktop that had to be tied in a knot. It was a little too big, but she wasn't being swallowed, her body that was once heavy with her child was now loose and flabby. Arika was busy analyzing her new body when the dorm room door opened behind her. She looked in the mirror and made eye contact with the patch who was peeking into the room.

"Knocking is for the civilized I guess." She griped.

"Got a minute?" The biker said slipping into the room once he confirmed that she was decent.

"Thanks for letting me use your shower." She said giving him the best smile she could muster. It was easier feeling clean.

"No problem. Why didn't you use Jax's? You usually crash in his room." Arika shrugged off Opies question.

"Change of scenery. It's good for the soul. Besides, he doesn't know how to back the hell off sometimes. Too many questions." The brown haired giant looked a little guilty. "Et tu brute?" she asked rolling her eyes.

"I just wanna know how you're doing." He said holding up his hands defensively. "How you've been doing." He added at her disbelieving look. "About what happened to you when you were gone… Why you stayed gone…" he admitted when she kept staring him down. Arika dropped her head, leaning on her palms on the dresser.

"Why can't you guys just let it die?" she asked, exasperated.

"Because for 6 months, we thought you were dead, and it killed us.