This One-Shot has been written for my Senpai Mokumi who you can fine on Tumblr and dA. She's such an amazing cosplayer and artist, like she is my headcanon Izaya and she's drawn me things too.^^

Darkness

That's all that surrounded me. How long had I been here? Seemed like centuries now, here was no way to tell the passage of time. I couldn't see a thing, not even my own two hands in front of me. Hands that had felt weak before, I had felt so, so weak…

The last thing I saw before this pitch-black darkness was the moon. It was beautiful, such a bright moon against an inky sky. Pure and graceful, nature was a wonderful thing at times.

I had been ill for a while, my own fault I guess. Just slowly wasting away: mentally and physically. I wasn't eating or sleeping properly, barely even went out anymore either. It was the shot that did it though. I got shot and just didn't even try to get up, what was the point? He was gone and I couldn't deal with it, so I gave up and let myself die.

I should have realised, I should have said. But no, I was an idiot and I realised far too late. We were set in our ways and I didn't have the heart, the nerves to tell him. How could I? 'Hey Izaya, turns out I actually love you, you asshole' Yeah that would have gone well, but I should have told him.

After he died, I refused to believe it for the first two weeks. I kept expecting the flea to pop up calling me that blasted nickname. Then I accepted that he wasn't coming back, he really was gone. I don't think I cried that much since I was young, when I first discovered my strength and broke the first lot of bones. It hurt. Hurt more than any broken bones, cuts, bruises or scrapes. I'd lost someone I didn't even have.

Pain turned into nothing since I grew so accustomed to it. I no longer experiences happiness, joy or excitement, hell not even anger. I had spent years of my life wishing the anger would go away, but I would be more than happy to be angry everyday if it meant he was still here. I would do anything to hear his voice, see that cocky little smirk he wore…

The only time I felt anything was when I saw the moon. Every night I looked up, just sat by the window staring. Reminiscing all the times I had with Izaya, sure most of them ended with me bleeding and angry, but still. I wish I figured it out sooner.

Maybe it would be different between us…

Maybe he would still be alive and well…

Suddenly I was blinded by a bright warm light. Blinking I waited until my eyes had adjusted enough to see. Getting up I found that I couldn't move far, yet nothing was keeping me in place. It was like some invisible force caging me in, I didn't feel threatened so I didn't really mind. I could travel about an arm's length worth of distance around me.

Once I let that sink in I looked around to see where I was, but I stopped in my tracks when I saw. Izaya was right there, right in front of me. Had I not died and was juts in a coma or having some shitty fucked up dream? He was too far to touch or grab, but I could see and hear him clearly.

I couldn't believe it. Izaya was the one person who changed me, the one who truly wasn't afraid of me or what I could do.

"Ne, Shizu-chan. Isn't it a little rude to ignore others? Ah, and here I though you would be happy to see me." There was the voice I'd longed to hear, the teasing tone I had missed so much. Out of habit I glared, not my fault the raven could be annoying at times. "Hahaha, don't give me that look. I was just joking~" He paused a small smirk on his face, but it didn't look malicious. "There's no need to try and rip my throat out. Oh wait, you can't!"

It's confirmed, I'm in love with an asshole. I mean I know I never really ever caught him, but he wasn't invincible. "Oi flea! Don't get so cocky! I can rip out your throat any time I want!" Emotions can be blinding, I'd forgotten one thing, but Izaya was quick you remind me, in his own special way.

"Ah but Shizu-chan, I am quite some distance away. Heh, hasn't your little Neanderthal brain noticed yet? You can't move far, you really will never catch me...you can't even come near me..." He actually sounded saddened by that, what did he want me to catch him or something now?

He sighed seeing my puzzled look "I'm sorry Shizuo, but it seems as if you are the Sun, and I, am the Moon…"