Act I Scene I

Lithuania: A trumpet sounds and Lucentio enters with his servant Tranio.

Prussia: Why do I have to be West's servant?

Germany: Shut up! It's not my fault!

Estonia: getting angry BACK TO THE PLAY!

Lucentio sighed, his blue eyes locked onto the scenery around them, "Well, Tranio, here we are in Lombardy, garden of Italy, to fulfill my lifelong dream to see the city of Padua."

"Ha, you just want to get in Italy's pants," snickered Tranio.

"What? Nein! Can I go back to my monologue?" Lucentio narrowed his eyes at the albino.

"Whatever."

Lucentio, however, had lost the will to continue, "What do you think of all this?"

Tranio pulled out his script, "'As usual I am in complete agreement with you about everything' (pg. 31 No Fear Shakespeare, Taming of the Shrew) What is this? I don't agree with West about everything! And what was that citation interrupting my monologue?"

Lucentio rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his blonde, military cut, hair, "If only Biondello would get here," he blinked, "Who are those people?"

"Maybe it's a parade to welcome the awesome me and my un-awesome master to town!" said Tranio.

Latvia: Lucentio and Tranio stand off to one side.

Prussia: We don't even face them head on?

Latvia: No.

Lithuania: Baptista enters with his oldest, er, daughter Katarina and his youngest daughter Bianca.

Romano: What? Why do I have to be a girl?

Italy: Ve~you look so cute in your dress Fratello!

Romano: Come here you annoying little brother! Runs off chasing Italy

Lithuania: Um, anyways the two suitors to Bianca enter as well, an old man named Gremio and a young man named Hortensio.

France: Told you, you were old.

England: Shut it frog.

Estonia: is purple with anger at this point

"Enough!" the man called Baptista turned to the suitors, "You know how I feel. My younger daughter will not marry until my eldest is wed. If either of you want to court Katarina please do so!"

'She's to much for me," said Gremio, "What about you Hortensio?"

Kate crossed his arms; his amber eyes flashing, "Are you trying to humiliate me? I'm a man darn it!"

"We are not her suitors, "said Hortensio, ignoring the angry Italian, "Not until that harsh tongue of hers improves."

"Ha, I could care less. If I could I would throw tomatoes at you and make you look like an idiot!" spat Kate.

"Please Lord, keep me safe from all women like her," prayed Hortensio.

"Me too," said Gremio.

"I'm a man gosh darn it!"

Tranio's red eyes turned to his master, "This is hilarious! She's either crazy or extremely stubborn!"

Lucentio seemed distracted, "But her sister seems quiet and well mannered, as a young girl should be."

The father turned to his youngest daughter/son, "Bianca go inside. Whatever happens know I'll always love you, my little Italy!"

Lithuania: Rome!

"Spoiled brat. He'd cry right now if he had a reason too,"" complained Kate.

Bianca turned to face him, "Fratello, be happy for me. Grandpa Rome, I mean, Father I'll take comfort in my books and music, " Bianca suddenly opened his seemingly always closed eyes, "and PAAAAASTA!"

Estonia: twitch

Lucentio smiled, "She is wise,"

Hortensio seemed distressed, "Sir Baptista will you really be this cruel? Our goodwill should not cause Bianca unhappiness!"

"Why are you punishing her? It is this bloody witch that should be punished!" Gremio complained.

"I've made my decision. I know how much she loves music and poetry. I shall hire an at home tutor for her. Please tell me if you can recommend anyone. Goodbye gentlemen," Baptista followed Bianca into the house.

"What the crapolla? You're just going to leave me out here? I don't think so!" Kate followed his brother into the house.

Gremio narrowed his emerald eyes at the closed door, "Go to hell! Nobody wants you! Hortensio we can wait this out can't we? It'll be tough but we'll live. I mean hello IMMORTAL COUNTRY OF GREAT BRITAIN HERE!"

Estonia: glares

"Anyways," continued Gremio, "To prove my love to Bianca I will find her a good tutor."

"You just want to make North Italy one of your colonies. Either way I shall do the same," the Frenchman said, "I know we have never exactly been friends…"

"More like eternal enemies."

'Yeah. As I was saying, we should work together to find a husband for Katarina. What do you say?"

"As long as we can go back to being enemies later,"

Lithuania: So the two leave the scene.

Latvia: And Tranio and Lucentio are still there!

Prussia: Why are we still there?

Lithuania: Read the script and find out

Prussia: Um.. I

Lithuania: What?

Germany: He can't read.

Prussia: Shut up West!

Estonia: is still purple from holding in his anger

Lucentio turned to face Tranio, "I trust you Tranio so I'll tell you something. If I can't have Bianca for my wife I will surely die!"

"Haha! I knew it! West's gay!" Tranio grinned.

Lucentio blushed, "Can it bruder. Anyways will you help me?"

"You were so focused on Bianca that you totally missed Katarina's screaming fest. It was hilarious!"

"Will you help me or not?"

"Yep! I'll be glad to screw up your love life for you! I have an idea!" Tranio's red eyes flashed dangerously.

"So do I. Tell me yours. Only remove anything with violence, beer, or rape," Lucentio ordered.

Tranio seemed a little depressed by that, "Ugh fine. You should teach the girl as her tutor, disguised of course."

"I had the same idea," said Lucentio.

"It sounded more awesome when I said it," complained Tranio.

"Shut up. Now here's the plan…"

Lithuania: So the plan is, in a nutshell, that Tranio switches places with Lucentio and pretends to be him. They change clothes and the play continues.

Lucentio looked at his albino older brother, "You look nothing like me but I think it'll work. Now when Biondello comes he'll pretend to be your servant. I'll figure out how to keep him quiet about all of this."

"Eh, it's Japan, just ask him."

"You're breaking character…"

"That's cause I'm awesome!"

Latvia: Biondello enters.

Biondello, a short, Asian man stopped and stared at the two Germans.

Prussia: I'm Prussian!

Me: Not a country anymore. Sorry Prussia.

"Ah!" the man looked back and forth between the two, brown eyes filled with confusion, "Why is Tranio wearing Lucentio's clothes?"

"Come here and I will tell you," said Lucentio.

Lucentio, although he trusted Biondello, gave him his cover story.

"Tranio and I traded clothes to save my life. I killed a man in a fight when we came ashore and I am worried someone saw me. While I escape I want you to wait on Tranio as if he were me."

Me: Did you use his own moustache and a grape to kill him Germany?

Lithuania: Zero-chan!

Me: Sorry…

Estonia: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Biondello nodded, "of course sir."

"Okay so Biondello," Tranio pointed at the Asian, "Make me a sandwich!"

"Prussia the script doesn't say that!" complained Germany, who was suddenly his serious self.

"So? Japan will do it anyways!"

"Do not assume Prussia-san. I'm not actually your servant," said Japan.

"Whatever. I'm so awesome; one day everyone will serve me. Especially stupid Asians."

"Um, bruder, Asians are stereotypically known for being smart…" Germany said.

"Whatever," Prussia glanced at Japan, "Man, you okay?"

Japan had completely dead paned, "Do you really feel that way Prussia?"

"Well duh," being self-centered he didn't notice that something bad was going to happen.

Prussia jumped as a sword point was pressed up against his throat.

"Ack!" Prussia ran, 'black' Japan following close behind.

Me: Get him Japan!

Lithuania: Um what happened to the play?

Latvia: Japan's scarring me…

Estonia: ARGH THIS IS RIDICULIOUS STAY IN CHARCTER! Pants

Japan: returns to normal Sorry Estonia-san

Lesson for this scene: Never piss off Japan. He has another power hungry, psychotic alter ego called Black Japan.