Mike, Davy and Micky rode with Howie and Agent Cupcake in Howie's car, leading a procession of around ten cars, with five agents in each car. Mike asked why they were taking so many agents, and Howie explained that he wanted to be on the safe side.
"The last three times we've run into the Black Rose gang, it was a trap," he said. "We're treating this the same way."
They drove out of Kent and into a forest, driving for around 20 minutes before Agent Cupcake pulled over. "Alright," he said. "There's an abandoned lumbermill ten minutes drive from here. That's the only place they could be."
"Got it," Howie said. He undid his seatbelt and stepped out of the car, followed by the Monkees.
All the other cars had pulled over behind them, and one by one all the Agents stepped out of their cars and looked to Howie for instructions.
"Okay, agents," Howie said. "Thank you all for assembling here on such short notice. It makes me proud to call myself Mr. Best. Now then, here's what's gonna happen: the hostages are being held in an abandoned lumbermill down the road a bit. There's a secret road leading up behind it, three cars are going to drive up there and set up the first ambush. We're going to send a decoy, seven cars driven by seven Agents are going to head straight up and draw most of the fire, while the Black Rose is distracted by that, the agents from the first three cars are going to go in and locate the hostages, get them to safety. The rest of you are going to travel on foot, moving quickly, and you're going to be the last ambush. You're all equipped with tasers, so take out as many Black Rose scum as you can."
Agent Cupcake stepped forward then. "Alright," he said. "Here's how it's gonna be: Agent Pinecone, Agent Door Knob, Agent Grassbush, Agent Ceiling Fan, Agent Abel Skeavers, Agent Coffee Mug and Agent Ceramic Coffee Mug, you guys are the decoy drivers. Head on down five minutes after the first three cars take off."
"Yes sir," The seven Agents said, moving to get into some of the cars.
"Agent Coke, and Agent Bottle Cap, You guys are going to take your teams in two of the other cars," Agent Cupcake continued. "Agent Agent, you'll be riding with Mr. Best and the Monkees in the other car. All the rest of you, you're coming with me and Agent Psychedelic Llama to perform the final ambush. Look alive, people, we're moving out!"
The Monkees followed Howie to one of the cars while all the Agents moved to get ready.
"Alright," Howie said as they all climbed into the car. "Let's go rescue Peter!"
When they reached the lumbermill, they all quietly left the car. "Here," Agent Agent said, handing a pair of binoculars to Micky. "Try and climb this tree and see if you can get a read on the situation."
"Got it," Micky said, putting the binoculars around his neck. Without much effort, he climbed up to the top of the tree and using one hand to hold himself steady, he used the other to raise the binoculars and look through them.
"I see them," he said. "They're standing in the middle of the floor, Peter's hands are tied."
"Why do things like this always happen to us?" Mike wondered aloud.
"He's talking to someone," Micky continued. "I think it's Mr. Thorn... I can't see, there's a big thug standing right in the line of vision. Oh, wait, he's moving... GAH!"
"What, what is it, what's going on!?" Davy exclaimed.
"It's Pointy!" Micky said. "Pointy Q. Zimmerman! He's Mr. Thorn!"
"No way!" Mike exclaimed.
"Zimmerman?" Howie asked with a frown. "Isn't that the strange boy who runs into people?"
"Yes!" Mike said. "Apparently, he and Peter were friends in high school. He was there, at the fair yesterday. I'm betting that's how he knew to warn the Black Rose gang about Peter."
"I knew I didn't like that guy," Micky said, still up in the tree.
"Poor Peter," Davy noted. "I mean, they were friends. And now it turns out he's just been using him."
"I wanna punch that guy so hard," Micky said angrily.
"Micky, I need you to keep watching," Howie said. "The decoy cars will be here soon, you need to see if you can find out where they take Peter."
Micky returned his attention to the lumbermill without a word, and on the ground, Howie explained their plan to the Monkees and the Agents who were there. "Aright," he said. "When the Black Rose gang members go to shoot up the decoy cars, they'll leave Peter and Marissa mostly unattended. All you Agents will go in front, and take out as many left-over members as possible, your goal is to clear the way for us to get to Peter."
"Something's happening," Micky said. "They're all getting ready, Pointy got off his throne. They're leading Peter and Marissa somewhere, there's a group guarding them."
"How many?" Howie asked.
"Um..." Micky did a quick count. "Seven. Pointy's one of them. There's also that guy who knocked us out last night. They're leading him to a corner... there's a trap door. They're taking them underground!"
"This is it, men," Howie said. "Get ready, we'll wait three minutes for them to clear out of the mill, then we're heading in. Micky, come on down."
Micky climbed down from the tree while the agents all put away their squirt guns and got out their tasers. From the lumbermill, they could hear the sound of gunshots, and the squeal of tires.
"Don't worry," Howie said, noticing Davy look anxiously toward the sound. "The Agents I picked to drive the decoy cars are all professionals. There's nothing to worry about."
They waited for a few more minutes, and then Agent Agent gave a nod. They were off.
Pointy and three other thugs turned on flashlights as they descended into the cellar. Peter looked around, the entire place seemed to be a maze of crudely dug tunnels, and as if it weren't obvious enough, a large sign that said "MAZE" in large back letters hung on the wall next to the ladder.
Pointy led them through several different tunnels, turning left, right, another left, a few more rights...left... Peter tried to keep track, but soon found his mind drifting to other things.
What was happening in the mill above him? Down in the tunnels, they couldn't hear anything from above, but he could imagine well enough. Seven cars filled with agents who didn't fire guns and Monkees who didn't even have squirt guns with them, all driving into a trap while he was being led to what would probably be his death, in an underground cavern.
His thoughts were interrupted as the roof of the cavern started to shake, a small bit of dust drifting to the ground. Peter stopped and looked up. They must've been under the parking lot, maybe a car had driven overhead.
The thug behind him gave him a shove to get moving again, and his foot caught a root, sending him falling to the ground.
Pointy laughed as the thugs hauled Peter to his feet. "Nice trip, Peter?" He asked conversationally. Peter just shot him a dirty look as they kept moving, dodging more small showers of loose dirt along the way.
They finally reached a small room, and Peter was pushed into a sitting position against the wall.
"Tom, Harry, guard the door," Pointy said. "Donny, You go ahead and watch Baby Girl. Danny, Al and Cy, you guys all make sure Junior doesn't give us any trouble."
The boss set Marissa down and then sat down next to her, as the three thugs called Danny, Al and Cy all leaned against the wall, pointing their guns lazily at Peter.
Pointy sat down then, and pulled a few sheets of paper from his pocket. "I'm gonna go over some business while we wait," he said. "In about half an hour, we'll go back up and see how many Good Guys we bagged."
Peter closed his eyes. This was not good.
As Agent Agent led the groups into the main part of the lumbermill, they saw that most of the Black Rose members had indeed left, leaving only around fifteen guarding the main room. The Agents had the element of surprise, they managed to take out three before the alarm was raised and the other Black Rose members all began shooting at them.
Everyone dove for cover, and three of the Agents took fake guns out of their holsters. Filling them with powder, they raised them up and "shot" at the Black Rose members, who were also diving for cover.
"They think we have real guns," Howie explained in a whisper. Then he chuckled. "Isn't that great? We're outnumbered, they have the home field advantage, and none of us have guns! And they're hiding from us!"
"Hilarious," Mike deadpanned. "Your agents should cover us, or, you know, pretend to cover us, while we try to get to that big crate over there. We'll just go from crate to crate while we make our way to the trapdoor."
"You heard him," Howie said to the Agents. "Cover us."
The Agents began "shooting" again as Howie, Agent Agent, and the Monkees all ran for cover.
They continued to do this until they got close enough to the cellar to get in during the next exchange. The Agents fired again and they all made a mad dash for the trapdoor; luckily, the Agents kept firing, as Mike, Micky and Davy all got stuck trying to go in at once. Finally, they were able to drop to the floor below and Howie and Agent Agent followed them down into the maze.
"Hey, this is a maze," Micky noted, looking around.
"Nice observation," Davy quipped. "I had no idea."
"Oh, don't start," Mike said. "How're we gonna find Peter in this maze?"
"Oh, that's easy," Micky said. "We'll just have to go on a romp."
"Oh, that makes sense-hold it, hold it. Wait, stop, this is all wrong."
"What, did you notice something?" Howie asked.
"Yes I did," Mike said. "I noticed that we just had three sentences in a row start with 'Oh,' before the next part of the sentence. That's just bad writing."
"Well, what are we gonna do about it?" Davy asked.
"We'll just have to talk to the writer," Mike said. "Excuse me, PlushChrome? I don't mean to be a bother, but you see, you had three sentences start the same way, and, well, frankly, that's not very good writing. Can you fix that please?"
REWIND
"Hey, this is a maze," Micky noted, looking around.
"Nice observation," Davy quipped. "I had no idea."
"Now, don't you two start," Mike said. "How are we going to find Peter in this maze?"
"Oh, that'll be easy," Micky said. "We just have to go on a romp!"
"Well, that makes sense, I guess," Mike said. "Thanks, PlushChrome."
"I'll get us started," Micky said. Then, taking a deep breath, he began to sing. "Though you've played at love and lost, and sorrow's turned your heart to frost, I will melt your heart again..."
The others began harmonizing and before long, the music was coming through no discernible music source as the Monkees, Howie, and Agent Agent all went on this long adventure tracking Peter through the tunnels. This adventure, lasting exactly 2 minutes and 30 seconds, involved Davy in a Sherlock Holmes outfit using a magnifying glass on the floor while Micky pretended to be Watson, Mike examining footprints to try and determine which were Peter's and which were theirs, Micky dressed like an Indian Chief and checking the nearby plant life for signs of broken branches indicating someone passed by that way, and finally them stopping at an information booth for directions. At long last and songs end, they made their way into a rather small room with a dune buggy sitting in the middle of the floor.
"I think we made a wrong turn," Micky said, looking around at the room, obviously free from any gang members or hostages.
"I told you we should've turned left back at that fork in the tunnel," Davy said. "You were the one who insisted right was right, mr. Indian Chief."
"Wa ta tick it ta too too," Micky said absently. "Hey, look! A map!"
Pointing at the wall, they all saw a giant display map of the tunnels, with "YOU ARE HERE" written next to a red dot in one of the small rooms on the map.
"You are here," Mike read aloud.
"You know, I've always wondered why they feel they have to tell us that," Davy said. "I mean, it seems to me you should be able to figure out where you are. It's where you're trying to go that should be marked."
"Whoa, it's changed!" Micky exclaimed.
Looking at the map, Davy's eyes widened as he realized that a new red dot had appeared in a room right next to theirs, saying "YOU SHOULD BE HERE" right next to it.
"Would you look at that!" Mike said. "We should be there. Now, what's the quickest way through from here to there?"
"A straight line," Micky suggested.
"Now, Mick, don't be silly," Mike said. "Look at this map, there is no straight line from here to there."
"Yes there is," Davy said. "There's just a wall between us."
"Well then," Mike said. "If that's all."
Suddenly the roof began to shake a little, and some loose dust fell to the floor.
"The dune buggy!" Agent Agent exclaimed. "We can take the dune buggy and drive it through the wall! That should be fast enough."
"But what if we hit Peter?" Mike pointed out.
"Look, the map changed again," Howie pointed.
Looking at the map, Mike read aloud the new message. "Just drive through the wall already," he said. "Jeez, no need to get rude, PlushChrome, I'm just saying what you're writing me to say."
Without any further argument from the wise but stubborn Texan, they all climbed into the buggy and Mike started it up. "Alright," he said. "Everybody hold on tight. We're going through the wall."
It had only been ten minutes since they had gone through the trapdoor, but it had felt like a long while to Peter. Pointy had finished his business and had started a game of cards with Donny, Cy and Al, he'd figured that Peter wouldn't be able to do much bound and gagged, and he was right.
Not to mention, as soon as the adrenaline wore off, Peter realized he was very hungry and a bit tired as well. But he had to stay awake, and look for any opportunity to escape. If one ever decided to present itself.
Pointy put down his cards excitedly. "CRIBBITCH!" he shouted. "I win again!"
Peter sighed and Donny, Al and Cy all looked at each other. Pointy had won every match so far.
Pointy gathered all the cards and began to shuffle. "One more round," he said. "And-"
Suddenly there was a loud roar and a boom, and one of the walls caved in, filling the air with clouds of dirt.
Everyone yelled and covered their eyes, all coughing as they got dirt in their mouths and noses. All the Black Rose members who was sitting on the ground stumbled to their feet, drawing their guns.
"What's going on?" Donny managed between coughs.
The air cleared a bit and suddenly Mike was there, coughing himself as he climbed out of... was that a dune buggy?
He was followed by Micky, Davy, Howie and some other man Peter could only assume was an Agent. Howie and the Agent drew their squirt guns, and Pointy, Al, Cy, Tom, Harry, and Danny all drew theirs.
"Well-*coughcough*" Pointy started. "Ahem, so, *cough* Howie, you've come to get your *coughcough* hostages back."
"Yes, I *cough* have," Howie said. "And I'm gonna *coughcough* Get 'em, too."
"Wanna *cough* bet?" Pointy said. "We've got seven *cough* guns pointed at you. Haha. *cough* And you know what? I know your guns are fake! So Howie, How're you gonna get *cough* your precious kids now?"
Howie, Agent Agent and the Monkees all gasped. "How'd you figure *cough* out about the guns!?" Davy demanded.
Pointy smiled. "Pete talks in his sleep," he said. "Who knew?"
They all gave a quick glance at Peter, who was just as stunned as they were. He'd given away their secret? Well, that was it. He'd sealed their fate. They were all going to die here in this cavern, and it was all his fault.
Pointy cocked his gun, still pointed at Howie. "Well, Mr. Best," he said. "It seems *cough* that the Good Guys Gang is closed down. For good."
Peter closed his eyes, he didn't want to see it happen. The sound from a single gun shot rang through the room, and echoed in his ears for an eternity.