Regina doesn't get much sleep that night after talking to Robin, and so she's already in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee when Henry comes down stairs.
"Morning Mom," Henry says, ducking into the refrigerator to take out the orange juice. His eyes are down cast when he walks past her to get a glass before sitting next to her at the table.
"Good morning sweetheart," Regina says, brow furrowing at the way Henry doesn't look her in the eyes. "Did you sleep well?"
He nods into his juice, and Regina thinks she understands. Henry had cried harder last night than she's seen him cry in years. He had cried in her arms and told her his fears. And somewhere along the line, Regina had taught her son to be afraid of being open and vulnerable. She had never meant to, of course, but she knows how much children learn from their parents, even the things that parents never truly mean to teach.
Of course Henry had learned this message though, because he watched his mother lock her vulnerability away his whole life. The thought of this unintentional lesson takes Regina's breath away. "Henry," she says, her voice serious, as she lifts up his chin and brings his eyes to meet hers. She wants her boy to be able to accept love and support, she never wants him to feel the fear that she has about opening her heart. "I love you so much, and I am so proud of the young man that you've become."
Henry blushes but smiles up at Regina. She thinks that there is still time to change the damage that she's done, still time to be better for her son, to show him that she loves him even more for sharing his fears with her. There's still a chance for her to do this, because miraculously he still trusts her, still loves her. She leans forward and kisses his forehead, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "You will always be my little prince, no matter how old you get. And I will always be here to take care of you when you need me."
"I love you Mom," Henry tells her, because he'd gone so long not telling her, so long pretending that she didn't matter to him. She smiles at him like he's the most precious, most important person in the whole world. To her he knows that he absolutely is.
"What shall we do today?" Regina asks Henry when she releases his face from her palms, relieved when he continues to hold her gaze with an easy smile. She vows to herself that she won't ruin her second chance with her son. Her second chance at love might have passed her by, but she's been given a more important chance, one to be a better mother, to help Henry know how to be happy. Regina promises herself that even if it hurts like hell, she won't run and hide herself away again, she won't give into the anger and the fears that stir inside her, because there are things that she must teach her son before it's too late.
"We don't have to do anything special," Henry tells Regina. He does know how much she's lost in the last few days, how much she must be hurting.
"What do you say to French toast and then if you want we can we can go riding. I bet you didn't get to do much of that in New York."
"The only horses I saw were the ones in Central Park."
"Think you still remember how?" Regina asks, raising her eyebrow in challenge.
"Bring it on."
"That's my boy."
Regina stands to collect ingredients for breakfast, but she doesn't miss the way Henry's eyes light up at the reminder that he is hers.
Regina is walking down the frozen food aisle when she hears a little voice yell "Gina!" She turns just in time to catch Roland as he flings himself into her arms.
She spins him around and he giggles, and Regina is overwhelmed by how much she missed that little dimpled smile. "Hi sweetie," she says, settling the boy on her hip. "Are you shopping all alone today?" she asks looking around for Robin and Marian.
Roland shakes his head and laughs at Regina's silliness. "My mama's with me."
Regina's spine stiffens at the thought of meeting Marian alone. "It's very nice of you to help her shop," she tells the boy. "I bet she's looking for you. Should we go find her?"
Roland just shrugs and his face falls, and Regina wonders just how difficult his mother's reappearance has been for the little boy to deal with. She kisses Roland's cheek and snuggles him tightly, and he seems to relish the familiarity of her arms. "You're very lucky to have a mama that loves you as much as yours does," Regina tells Roland. She just wants to make it easier for him. She thinks of how hard she made it for Henry to feel comfortable loving her and Emma, and she vows never again to hurt someone she cares for that way.
Roland rests his head on Regina's shoulder and begins babbling about his day. It's terribly familiar, and it makes Regina want to cry thinking of what she almost had.
"Maid Marian," Regina says, her voice even as she tries not to frighten the woman. None the less Marian jumps and knocks a pile of oranges onto the ground. "I'm sorry to startle you. I simply wanted to return Roland before you began to fear for his whereabouts."
"Roland, why did you run off like that?" Marian asks, reaching out for the boy who stays settled with his arms around Regina's neck.
"I saw Gina," Roland replies, as though that should be obvious and a perfectly good reason.
Regina sets the little boy on the ground. "Can you please help pick up the oranges," she asks, and Roland immediately sets himself to the task, running off to find the fruit that has rolled away.
"I apologize again for frightening you," Regina begins, standing to look at Marian. "And I wish to apologize for everything that I've done to you. There's no way for me to ever make it right, but I want to assure you that you and your family are safe here. I would never do anything to cause Roland any harm."
"You must have spent a lot of time with him," Marian says, and Regina knows that the woman suspects the reality of the situation that Emma Swan dropped her into. "He asks for you every day."
"You have a very special son," Regina replies simply. Roland returns with his arms full of oranges. "What a good helper!" Regina exclaims, taking the fruit from him and setting them back down on the display. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he tells her, toothy grin back in full force.
"Have fun with your mama," Regina tells the little boy. She walks away before she has to hear him ask her to stay.
Regina leaves her grocery cart in the freezer aisle and runs to her car. She had been such a fool to think that she could escape her past, a fool to think that she deserved to. Regina loves Roland with her whole heart, and yet she had been the one to steal his mother from him. She had ruined Roland's life, ruined Robin's life; of course she never deserved to have them in hers. She was the Evil Queen, and that isn't something that you can simply apologize for and leave behind.
But Regina had seen the proof of her ability to change when she had taken the amulet from Zalena. Regina had seen her magic change color, had truly believed that she could have a new start, that she was in a position to try to teach her sister about the promise of second chances.
Regina is almost afraid to know what her magic looks like now, afraid to see the visible proof of her new beginning slipping away from her. But she has to know, she has to know whether there is still good in her, whether she can be everything Henry needs her to be. She takes a deep breath and steadies herself and then concentrates on bringing an apple to her open palm.
When the apple appears in a flash of white light, Regina nearly cries in relief.
The first time Regina sees Emma and the Charmings again, Henry and Regina are on their way home from a day out with their horses. Regina is doing her best to hold onto the possibility of being good, because her son wakes up every morning and looks at her with unquestioning faith that he hasn't had in her since he was so young. So she's trying not to let the shadows of the past overwhelm her. She walks into the stables with Henry and tries not to think of Daniel or Snow or Robin. She tries only to think of teaching Henry to ride when he was five years old, because she had wanted him to grow up with the same love of horses and of nature that had centered Regina through the most difficult experiences of her own childhood.
Regina hangs back when Henry goes to say hello to his family, and she can hear them invite Henry home with them for dinner.
He looks conflicted, and Regina reminds herself of the promise she's made to herself. "You should go," Regina encourages her son.
"But we were going to make lasagna together tonight."
"It's ok, we can cook another night," Regina tells her son. "They're your family Henry, and I know that in the past I've tried to keep you from them, but I shouldn't have done that. You have so many people who love you dear, and that is a wonderful thing."
"You can come with us," Henry suggests.
"I imagine that Snow and David don't want to host a dinner party. They have a new baby."
Snow steps forward, baby Neal is her arms, and smiles tentatively at Regina. "We would love to have you," Snow says warmly, unsure if the fragile understanding between herself and Regina remains. Snow knows it does when she sees the gleam of tears in Regina's eyes.
Regina nods, and Snow can see how hard Regina is trying to continue fighting the darkness. "I can cook," Regina offers. "I've had David's cooking and I wouldn't want everyone to suffer that fate."
Snow chuckles and together they she and Regina walk back towards Emma and David.
Emma looks almost nervous. "Regina, I'm -"
Regina holds up a hand. She can't do this now. She'll forgive Emma eventually, but for now, she can't bring herself to, and she doesn't want Henry to see that.
Emma thankfully lets it go, and turns back to chatting with Henry.
Snow is dying to ask how Regina is holding up. But Snow knows that she has to wait for Regina to reach out, that pushing has never gotten them anywhere good. It's Regina who breaks the silence a moment later, "You look exhausted. Is Neal letting you get any sleep?"
Snow shakes her head, looking down at her baby fondly. "Was Henry the same way?" she asks, and Regina finds herself surprised by the acknowledgement of her role as Henry's mother. It's been hard won with the Charmings to treat Regina as his mother. So much has been hard won for Regina, and finally she begins to think that things with Snow needn't always be a battle.
"Months of colic," Regina replies, but still she's smiling because she remembers when Henry was so small that she could carry him in her arms.
"Let's hope Henry's uncle doesn't take after him," Snow tells Regina, causing both women to chuckle. Their lives are so strangely woven together and for the first time that feels all right.
"I'm happy to help with him if you or Charming need a break."
"Thank you." Snow's anxiety is melting away. She had wondered what Regina would be like after Marian's return, would she be spiteful or broken beyond reaching. Snow hated to admit it, but she had wondered how much of the Evil Queen would have returned. But this Regina Snow thinks she can still reach, because Regina hasn't closed herself off, Henry had made certain of that, Snow thinks. "Regina? I've been wanting to ask you something."
"What's that?"
"Neal needs a godmother."
Regina raises her eyebrow, looking amused at the absurd suggestion. "You're asking me to be your son's godmother. Are you insane? Did you forget that when I was you stepmother I tried to murder you?"
"This would be your choice Regina," Snow whispers into the night. The words are thick, and Regina wonders whether Snow is crying. "I saw enough of the past through Cora's eyes to begin to understand things a little better. I couldn't have asked for a better father, but that doesn't mean that I am completely naive."
Regina swallows thickly, and she knows how much it takes for Snow to say this, because Regina still struggles to acknowledge the reality of who her mother had been. "I suppose the boy could benefit from a godmother who doesn't think that pixie dust and shiny new shoes are the answer to everything."
Snow grins widely, and for once Regina doesn't find the expression infuriating. "It's settled then. Do you want to hold him?"
Snow hands her child to Regina, who cradles the baby to her chest. "He's beautiful," Regina whispers, looking at the woman she had spent so long trying to destroy, and in that moment Regina can feel more forgiveness than she thinks she ever will deserve.
Emma finds Henry alone after dinner while he packs up some more of his things to bring to Regina's. She wonders whether Henry plans to stay with Regina indefinitely, but she doesn't dare ask. Instead, she settles on another question that's been gnawing at her. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Henry tells her, looking up from the knapsack he's packing.
Emma sits down on the bed next to Henry. "Do you still have the memories of growing up with me?"
"Yeah, don't you?"
"I do," Emma says with a smile that looks so very sad. "Are those Regina's memories?" Emma had claimed not too long ago that Henry would be better off not remembering, that all he had with Regina were difficult and traumatic memories. But if the memories Emma had of Henry's childhood were really of his childhood, then he had been such a happy and loved kid.
Henry nods, focusing on the memories he knows to be real and pushing away the ones that he had spent a year believing. "Mom?" Henry says, and Emma is grateful that he still addresses her that way. "You told me when I first found you that you gave me up so that I could have my best chance." Emma nods, and she feels that pain of giving up her child once again settle in her chest. "You gave that to me. I know when I found you, I told you that my Mom didn't love me, but I was little and really confused. I'm glad I found you, I really am. But I was happy growing up; my Mom gave me a good life."
"I know that," Emma tells Henry, because she does truly know this. She simply wonders where that leaves her; if she isn't saving Henry from a childhood with the Evil Queen, what is her role in his life? "When did you get so grown up, kid."
Henry shrugs and hugs Emma. He picks up the knapsack and leaves Emma alone with the reality of the pasts that she and Henry had truly lived.
"You ready to go home?" Henry asks Regina who's finishing cleaning the dishes from dinner while Snow and Charming sleep on the couch.
"You can stay with Emma if you want sweetheart. You haven't seen much of her this week."
"I just want to spend some time with you, Mom," Henry tells Regina, and it shouldn't bring tears to her eyes but it does. She blinks them back with a smile at Henry.
"Go get your coat," Regina tells him. She finishes wiping down the kitchen counter before Henry returns, a tired looking Emma sheepishly trailing behind.
"Night kid," Emma says as Henry leaves her side and runs towards Regina. There's still a part of Emma that wants to pack up Henry and run back to the life they'd had in New York, but as she watches Henry with the mother who had taught him to ride a bike and stayed with him in the hospital when he had his appendix removed, Emma wonders whether Henry would even agree to leave Regina. Emma doesn't think she wants to find out.
"Night!" Henry says, opening the door to the loft and stepping out into the hallway.
"Good night Regina," Emma adds timidly.
"Good night Miss Swan."
"Can we have a movie marathon?" Henry asks on the way home.
"It's already late," Regina tells him, looking up at the clock tower looming over the town.
"It's only eleven," Henry whines. "And it's Saturday night."
"All right," Regina agrees too easily, because she wants every moment she can have with Henry. He's growing up so quickly, and how much longer will he want to spend Saturday night watching movie with his mother?
Regina wraps her arm around Henry's shoulder, and he leans into her, remembering when he was a little boy and Regina's presence had been everything he needed to feel safe. "You know how I told you about that tree in New York that looked like yours?" Henry asks.
"I remember sweetheart."
"That kept happening. I'd have this feeling, like deja vu or something."
Regina looks over at Henry with a soft smile. She'd felt that with Robin in Storybrooke, had felt a connection to him that she could't explain. Even if she didn't remember a year of knowing him - a year where he had seen her at her most vulnerable and hadn't been frightened by that weakness or by her desperate attempts to push him away - it had been as if her heart recognized him. She pushes the thoughts of Robin from her mind. Henry is pressed close to her side, her son who remembers her, who loves her still. She needn't focus on anything else.
"Every time I met someone who wore the same perfume as you, I didn't understand why I'd get this really warm feeling, like being home and safe. And then sometimes I'd get sad for no reason. I was happy in New York, but sometimes I felt so sad, like something was missing and I didn't understand why I felt that way."
"Oh Henry," Regina breathes, leaning down to press her lips to her son's hair and pull him closer. "You're home now, and everything is going to be ok," Regina promises. "You've been stronger than anyone should need to be these last few years, and I am so sorry."
"It's ok Mom. You're right; everything is going to be ok now, for both of us. I promise."
"My sweet little boy. You don't need to worry about me."
"I do though," Henry says, looking up at Regina with such earnestness. "I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy."
"I am Henry," she tells him, almost surprised by how much she means it. Because even if she aches with the loss of Robin, she has her beautiful son right here. She has a second chance with her baby, and it is probably more than she deserves, but it's still hers. "How could I not be happy right now? I have an evening of watching movies and eating too much popcorn with you ahead of me."
Regina is grinning down at Henry, her smile wide and genuine, and he grins back up at her. "Star Wars marathon?" he asks.
"You're on."
"Really? That's like 20 hours of movies. I thought it was already past my bedtime," Henry teases.
"One week's allowance says you're asleep before The Empire Strikes Back is over," Regina volleys back.
"You're on!"
Regina just chuckles. This feels so right. Even if Henry is a zombie tomorrow after a far too long night of movie watching, it doesn't matter. They have tomorrow to sleep late and lounge around in their pajamas. They finally have time together to mend what Regina had believed was irrevocably broken, and right now, Regina thinks, this is exactly what she and her son need.
From the edge of the woods, Robin watches Regina and Henry pass by and his heart physically aches. Watching Regina with her son always touches Robin in a way that he can hardly describe. How many times had she insisted in words or in actions that there was nothing worth loving in her. But she adopted the grandchild of a woman she considered an enemy, offering that boy nothing but unconditional love. That alone would have been enough for Robin to feel something for Regina.
But she had shown him so much more. She had trusted him with parts of herself that Robin knows she doesn't show easily, that he wonders whether she had been able to show to anyone else. She had only been beginning to open herself up, and he had cherished every part of her that he had seen, had loved her more for it. He had wanted to spend a lifetime discovering more of Regina. He still does. He still wants to know her intimately, and he cannot imagine a day when he no longer will want that.
Robin barely sleeps for days. After Regina had confronted him in her backyard, he had respected her desire for distance. He wakes at night and leaves his wife's side. He passes hours staring at his son or sitting by the fire, the light throwing his tattoo into sharp relief. He remembers the joy he felt when Regina told him about what that tattoo meant to her.
Robin spends night after night thinking of Regina, her eyes shining with hope and contentment as she lay on top of him, her body relaxing and tension drifting away. He longs for the feeling of her skin against his, for the comfort she brought him, the feeling of being in sync with someone, of being wanted and understood. Regina had made Robin laugh and smile and want. His skin had hummed with desire and his heart had felt so full of something that he had not yet possessed to courage to put words to.
For three nights Robin stays away from Regina. Three nights he goes to sleep beside Marian and makes excuses for not touching her. He can't tell her that the thought of sleeping with her feels like betraying another woman. Marian is Robin's wife, the first woman he truly loved. He should be nothing but grateful that she is back beside him, but nothing feels the same now.
It kills him to think of how this must be hurting Regina. What must she think, this woman whom Robin knows hardly trusted that she deserved anything good to come to her. He had wanted to prove it to her, had wanted to show her that she brought him so much joy, that she was good and loving and deserving of love. He had wanted to be the person to give that to her.
He lasts three nights and then he gives in to the need to see her. He tell himself that he's simply checking on her, that this is all for Regina, that he must make certain that she's all right. But he finds her walking down Main Street with her arm around Henry, matching smiles on mother and son's faces.
They look happy. Regina looks ok. But still Robin follows Regina home, hiding outside her house to peer in as she and Henry snuggle of the couch sharing the largest bowl of popcorn Robin thinks he has ever seen.
Robin sits under Regina's apple tree long after Henry has fallen asleep on his mother's shoulder, and Regina remains on the couch, stroking her son's hair and looking so grateful for her child's return. Robin wants to be a part of that. He wants to see Regina happy; he wants to be part of that joy. It hurts how much Robin wants to go inside and sit down on the couch next to Regina, and hear her tell stories about her son. Robin wants to wrap his arms around Regina so much that his body aches with longing. He needs her more than he thought he would ever let himself need someone again.
Robin's men are true and loyal, but they aren't people that he can pour his soul out to. He can't tell them that when he'd loved Marian he had been a different man. He hadn't known pain and despair when he had been her husband. He hadn't understood what it was to carry guilt or sorrow that feels inescapable. For his son's sake Robin had survived that pain, but he had never truly shared what the experience had been like with anyone until he met Regina. Being open with her had been so easy, and he desperately wants that comfort. He knows it's selfish, but he wants the woman who understand him back.
Robin wants to confess to Regina how he knows that he should be ecstatic, that he should want nothing more than what he has now. But he goes to bed every night thinking of what he's lost as much as what he's gained. And he hates himself for it. But he can't tell Regina these things, can't burden her this way. Not when he has put her through so much already.
Robin buries his face in his hands. It's too much. He knows he should leave, knows that he has no right to be here in Regina's yard, that she cannot be the one he leans on now. But he can't bring himself to leave. So he sits under her apple tree and for the first time since his wife returned from the dead, Robin allows himself to cry.
Henry wins the bet, but just barely. He's snoring on Regina's shoulder before the opening of The Empire Strikes Back has concluded. Regina soaks in the warmth of her son, debating what to do about the fact that Robin is once again outside her house in the middle of the night. She considers ignoring him. This night has been filled with emotions, and Regina doesn't know that she has the strength to close herself off and rebuild the walls that will be necessary to face Robin without breaking down.
Regina stays with Henry until she hears - no that can't be right, Robin is too far away and the television is too loud in the background - his sobs. She stands from the couch, laying Henry down with a throw blanket covering him, and looks out into her yard.
She goes to Robin because he needs someone. He had given her so much, had reached out to her again and again, even as she pushed him away in the Enchanted Forest. He had gone to her with no promise of a relationship, no promise of even the slightest kindness. She goes to him now because she cares for him so deeply, thinks she will always care for him. Even without the hope of a future with Robin, she must go to him because he is sobbing. Curled in on himself under her apple tree, his shoulders are shaking with sobs.
"Robin," she whispers kneeling beside him, not wishing to startle him.
"I was so happy," Robin cries, face still buried in his hands. "I was so happy."
The words catch Regina off guard, and she wonders when exactly he means. Happy with Marian in the Enchanted Forest perhaps. Regina cannot let herself believe that he could possibly mean happy with her. "You will be again," she soothes.
"I've dreamt of this for years," Robin spits out, self loathing burning in his chest. "I should be happy. I shouldn't… It isn't the same anymore."
"Give it time," Regina says, though it hurts so very much. She cares for him, she reminds herself, and that means not being selfish. That means doing what is best for him, even if it feels like it is killing her.
"I don't want time. I was so happy before. I was so happy with you. When you told me I was your soulmate, I wasn't frightened. I thought that I could spend my whole life with you. God, I shouldn't think these things, but I can't stop."
It's everything Regina should want to hear, but it's all so wrong because she knows Robin will still leave when this conversation is over and go home to his wife. Regina takes a breath and reminds herself of who she is and who she will always be.
"It'll pass," she tells Robin, a hard edge to her voice now.
But Robin knows her. He knows this tone from when Regina had tried to push him away in the Enchanted Forest. And underneath he hears the self loathing. This woman who asked over and over what he could possibly see in her, still obviously doesn't know.
"What if I don't want it to?" Robin asks, and he knows it's unfair to say these things to Regina, but he doesn't know how to give up what he found with her.
"Then you're a fool." Her voice is hard and cold, and Robin hates it. He used to be someone she spoke to with openness. He doesn't want to go back to being on the outside. "I'm the woman who killed your wife. Nothing more."
"No, don't do this," Robin says, lifting his head and looking Regina squarely in the eye. "I don't know if you're trying to make this easier for me or for you, but I can't let you forget that you aren't the Evil Queen anymore. You are a good woman, and I can't bear to hear you say differently."
"Like I said, a fool. Your wife would be dead because of me if Miss Swan and the pirate hadn't saved her. I'm the reason that your son grew up without his mother. You shouldn't waste another moment thinking of me."
Robin shakes his head. "That isn't true. Marian didn't die by your hands. I was the one who ultimately got my wife killed."
"Emma told me that I was planning to execute Marian for helping Snow."
"And you were, but that isn't how she died."
"How do you know?"
"It's strange," Robin muses. "I still remember Marian escaping from the dungeons along with a dozen other prisoners. They escaped and I was certain that someone would come for her again, that I would need to fight to protect her, but no one ever came."
"That I had so many prisoners that I didn't notice when a dozen went missing should hardly make you think that I'm a woman worth caring about."
Silence settles around them for a moment, and Regina thinks that Robin is picking his words carefully, trying to decide how best to reach her. It is then that she really studies him for the first time. He looks exhausted and so very sad. Regina hadn't considered for a moment that Robin would be anything other than elated to have his wife back. Regina most certainly hadn't considered that he would give her a second thought. She was his second chance. His second choice. Regina had been prepared for many reactions from Robin in light of his wife's return, but this had not been one of them.
"I don't understand," Regina whispers, unable to make her voice any stronger. "You knew that I had captured your wife and that I very nearly caused her death the entire time we spent together."
"Yes, I did," Robin replies, and she hears the certainty creep back into his voice, as it always does when he is trying to convince her of how much he cares for her, of how much he believes in her.
"Then you should have known better than to ever trust me."
Robin smiles at Regina then with that infuriating smile she associates with their year together in the Enchanted Forest. "When did you ever prove me wrong for trusting in you?"
Regina sighs and settles her back against the trunk of the tree beside Robin. "I just want you to be happy," Regina says, her voice no longer harsh as she resigns herself to the fact that she's already let Robin in so far that he can see right through her masks. "I'm trying not to be that woman any more. I'm trying not to be selfish, and that means letting you and Roland be happy."
"But I'm not," Robin says so sadly that Regina wishes that it was still her place to be able to take him in her arms and hold him. "I'm not happy."
"It's only been a week."
"I miss you so much," Robin admits, before he seems to remember how much Regina must be hurting, how much his words must be making this all harder for her. It has just begun to come so naturally for him to confide in her. "I'm sorry Regina. I simply don't know how to deal with any of this."
"You go home," Regina tells him with certainty. "Go home to your wife and your son before you say something that you will regret. Go back to your life Robin and leave me to mine."
Regina goes inside her house, checks that Henry is still asleep, and then locks her bedroom door before she sinks to the ground and can't stop the tears that come.
In a way Robin feels better when Snow and David corner him the next day outside Granny's diner. He wants to be the one to defend Regina, but at least she had people standing by her now.
"Can we have a word with you," David asks, sounding very serious.
Marian stops to find out what the problem is. "It's all right," Robin assures her. "I'll meet you and Roland inside." The boy shoots a backward glance at his father, and Robin knows that Roland is still learning to trust the mother that he's only just met.
David waits until Marian and Roland have disappeared into the restaurant to address Robin again. "I understand what you're going through. When I first woke up in this realm I was married to Kathryn, but I couldn't stop myself from loving Mary Margaret. I let that go on for a long time until Snow stopped me. But the truth is that it was terribly unfair to both of them."
"David…" Robin begins, but then he doesn't know what to say next. He can't deny his feeling for Regina and still call himself an honest man.
Snow speaks next, her eyes warm and kind, a reassuring hard pressed to Robin's arm as if they are old friends. "If you truly still want to be with Regina then you need to be certain. I know that she acts like she's unbreakable, but she's been hurt so much. I don't know how many times she can lose someone she cares about and not break again."
"Believe me Snow, I know that Regina showing me her heart as she did was not easy for her, and it's a gift that I do not take for granted."
"Good," Snow says, trying her best to sound intimidating. "Then you need to decide what you want before you seek her out again. Talk to Dr. Hopper or Friar Tuck if you are looking for a confidant. That isn't Regina's responsibility."
"I know, and I'm sorry. Last night I was entirely out of line. What I said-"
"Regina didn't break your confidence. I don't know what transpired between you two last night, only that it was very clear that Regina was in pain when I saw her this morning."
"It was never my intention to cause her pain."
"I believe you," Snow tells Robin. "Now you need to try harder to make certain that you don't cause her more in the future."
It shouldn't feel like betrayal when his wife begins stripping off his trousers, but it does. It does, because Robin is not a man who has meaningless dalliances, and when he had made love to Regina, he had intended it as a beginning, a promise.
He stills Marian's hands. "I'm sorry."
She doesn't say anything for a long time, just lies silently beside him.
"Many years have passed for you," Marian whispers. "You're so different from the husband I left in the Enchanted Forest."
"I lived without you for years, Marian. I mourned you; I cradled Roland in my arms and promised that I would somehow learn to be both mother and father to him. For a long time I opened my heart only to our son, and then I met someone."
Marian squeezes her eyes tightly against the burn of tears. She know what her husband is about to say. Marian knows who, if not from the glances he steals at the woman who had tried to kill her, then from the way Roland runs to her each time their paths cross.
"Has she truly changed?" Marian asks, because it's easier than asking anything of Robin and his feelings.
"She has."
"You need to leave," Marian says, handing Robin his jacket. "I'm not angry with you Robin. I wouldn't have wanted you to grieve forever."
She may not be angry, but Robin knows that his wife is devastated. "I'm so sorry Marian. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know that. But now I need you to leave. We can talk in the morning, but I can't now."
Robin nearly begs to stay. He nearly says that they will work it out, that he can overcome what his heart is feeling, that he can be her husband again. But then Robin lets another feeling settle inside him. He has a choice, he realizes for perhaps the first time; struggling to make this work needn't be a foregone conclusion. There is another road, and though it might be difficult, it is there for him to take should he choose to.
"I'm so sorry," Robin tells Marian again.
"I know you are," she replies, her eyes closed.
Robin stares at Marian for a long moment before he takes his jacket and exits their tent. The cool air washes over him and feels terrified and thrilled by the possibilities in front of him.