Chapter 34: Loss
"Why are you following me?"
"Who says I am?"
Remus spun around, watching the boy with a measured expression till he squirmed, reminding Remus, eerily, of his students, "You are," muttered Remus before he resumed his walk to the stream, "and you have been, for a while,"
"You're awfully…guarded," Bronson grinned, walking after Remus with a bounce in his steps, "I mean, of course you have to be, to survive in here," Remus could almost hear the roll of the young man's eyes in the pause, "but I mean, you're very observant. Too observant," Remus stopped at the stream just as Bronson's voice dropped at his last few words.
Remus felt his lips twitch into an amused smile before he knelt by the stream and splashed cold water on his face.
"You don't belong here man," Bronson crossed his arms across his chest.
"Where do I belong?" Remus replied finally as he stood, water dripping from his beard.
They locked eyes and for a moment, Bronson hesitated, "I don't-" He paused before letting out a breath, "not here,"
Remus opened his mouth to retort when they heard a howl. Both of them looked up, all their instincts as a werewolf on the edge. The leader was calling.
Their eyes darting at each other, both of them jogged their way to the middle of the camp to gather.
Remus grunted as he steeled himself while being jostled around the crowd, gathering quickly. All was silent for a moment before Remus saw Greyback. The Alpha stood atop a stump of a tree, gazing down at them with a smirk. His eyes lingered on Remus as he spoke, his voice strong and loud, "Brothers! We've done the bidding of wizards long enough! It's time we made our move!"
Remus stood, unmoving, as the werewolves around him howled or shout in agreement, punching their fists into the air; acting like a pack of animals, till Greyback raised a hand to silence them.
"We will show them! We will not be looked down on! After tonight, they'll know; how we are stronger, faster and better than them!" Greyback roared over the cheers of the pack, "We'll go into town, and take as many of them as we can. Kill if we have to!"
"We shouldn't do this,"
Sirius raised an eyebrow at Moody's attire, or lack thereof, as the memory formed around him. The young Alastor Moody, without the scars, magical eye or wooden leg, lay amongst the sheets, an arm pillowing his head. The thin sheet covered him sufficiently, exposing just a section of his chest where Sirius glimpsed a thick scar peeking out.
"Now you say,"
Sirius' eyes widened as he heard the voice coming out from the closed bathroom. No matter how young she was, he'd recognise it anywhere! He was still gaping as the sound of the shower filled the silence.
"You know that is not what I mean," Moody grumbled.
"What do you mean?" Her voice, raised over the sound of water, asked playfully.
"You should go home,"
Sirius, still stunned, stepped back a few steps, his eyes still wide.
"And what? You know my mother doesn't approve of you." She said as the sound of water running stopped abruptly, "even if you're a pure blood," The door opened and Sirius looked up.
"Bell, you know I don't like it when you talk about blood status like that," Moody muttered impatiently.
"Well, I care about it! And you should too!" In the doorway of the bathroom, stood Bellatrix Black. Her eyes were large and beautiful with innocence. Her dark hair hanging in wet strands. She was dressed in nothing apart from a towel. She looked beautiful.
Moody sighed, before changing the subject, "I won't quit my job,"
Bellatrix raised both eyebrows, "so stop being a whine about eloping," She approached the bed, both hands propped on her hips, "I thought you wanted us to be together,"
"I do," Sirius, will his mouth hanging open, watched as Moody closed his eyes in resignation, "I just think this isn't the best solution-"
"I'm having your baby,"
The silence in the room was palpable.
Sirius buried his face in his hands. Now he knows. The big news of Bella's disappearance immediately after she finished seventh year at Hogwarts had spread throughout the Black family. He had speculated then, that she had run off with some Slytherin boy. He'd never thought…
Moody spoke finally, breaking Sirius' train of thoughts, "That complicates things a bit,"
"You don't know how noble he is, Alastor!" Bellatrix screeched, willing Moody to understand.
"You speak of him like you love him," Moody shot back. In his arms, he cradled something, or someone, wrapped in a thick blanket, which Sirius had no doubt is Lyra.
Bellatrix narrowed her eyes, looking more like the Bellatrix that Sirius knew for most of this life, "this is not the time to be jealous,"
"I'm not jealous," Moody glared daggers at her, "I just…don't agree with his sentiments,"
"What is a better world than one without filthy mudbloods to pollute it?" Bellatrix raised her voice. Lyra bawled, punching her little fists into the air in protest. Moody cooed and bounced her in his arms gently.
"Don't talk like that," Moody shot back, "Muggle-borns are just like us-"
"They're nothing like us!" Bellatrix hissed, "We're pure blood! And you don't know how valuable you truly are. Instead, you're siding with them," she sneered.
Moody glared at her for a moment after Lyra quieted down, "I don't want to discuss this with you now," He sat down, "it's late; this is not the time,"
"This is the time, Alastor," Bellatrix hissed angrily, "A war is starting," With that, she thrust out her left arm, yanking up her sleeve roughly to reveal white unblemished skin on her inner arm; save the red and raw Dark Mark.
Moody's eyes widened in horror; instantly recognizing the mark from his job as an Auror. He leaped to his feet, lightning quick and whipped out his wand; its tip trained on her. Lyra bawled, tears streaming down her face as she was jostled.
"You joined him!" Moody seethed; his tone accusing.
"I did," Bellatrix jutted her chin out proudly, "and you should too," she drew her wand.
"You're crazy," With that, Moody spun on the spot. Before Bellatrix could react, he was gone with a pop.
"Lupin!" Remus turned to find Hilliard smirking as he approached. He spared a glance towards Bronson, who barely flinched as Hilliard planted himself firmly in front of Remus, "Greyback wants to talk to you," His smirk grew.
"Where?" Remus replied coldly. His tolerance was definitely running thin. For the past hour, he had been trying to find opportunity to slip out of camp to warn the Order but Bronson was close on his tail and now this.
"His tent," Hilliard spat, frowning at the contempt in Remus' voice.
Without another word, Remus went briskly.
The tent was dimly lit but Remus could make out Greyback, sitting on his cot. He looked up as Remus entered. Plucking up his courage which he always had, Remus stood just out of Greyback's reach, looking directly into the yellow eyes which he had always feared.
"I sent out four patrols last week," Greyback's deep voice rumbled ominously in his chest, "none of them came back,"
Remus preferred to remain silent on that subject.
"And you know about it," Greyback growled.
Remus pursed his lips thoughtfully, "So does everyone in this camp,"
Greyback smirked, "You're quick, up here, Lupin," He pointed to his temple, "that's what I like about you. But I also know that you don't give a rat's arse about the pack. You serve Dumbledore,"
Remus felt the niggling urge to bolt now but years of practice made him stay, keep calm.
"And since you came, things have been happening," Greyback broke eye contact and stood, "I made you who you are today,"
Remus furrowed his brows, fury burning in his eyes, "what, you mean,"
Greyback snorted, "You haven't changed one bit," He backed off, laughing; "you still hate that stronger, dominant part of you." Abruptly quelling his amusement, Greyback stared at Remus, "But there is nothing I regret less than creating you. Your father did always need a lesson,"
Remus stiffened, his hands balling into fists at his side, "what do you want?"
There was a pause; one which made Remus re-think, if he had crossed the line but eventually Greyback spoke, "I want your full participation tonight,"
"Alastor!"
Moody froze in the midst of retrieving the pots from the cupboard. Whipping out his wand from the insides of his coat, Moody dashed out of the house.
True to what he heard, there Bellatrix stood; in his front yard. She was flanked by two other men, dressed in black. And at a glimpse, Moody recognised them; Rosier and Lestrange. The ministry had been looking for them for months, along with Bellatrix.
"Where is my daughter?" Bellatrix shrieked at the top of her lungs. Her eyes were wide and there was madness in them that Moody had never known. Her lips twisted into a smirk which encompasses so much hatred and joy in pain.
"You gave her up for your Dark Lord and you want her now?" Moody roared, sparks flying from the tip of his wand.
"Where is she?" Bellatrix demanded, her voice almost a screech; painful to the ear. Without warning, she flicked her wand with such speed. Moody dove out of the way, sprawled out on the grass.
"You have no rights to talk about her!" Moody growled, rising from the ground.
"I am her mother!" Bellatrix glared, "Crucio!" This time, Moody was ready. He side stepped the curse, countering it with another jinx. At her side, Lestrange parried it away swiftly with a shield charm, causing it to reflect off the surface and singe the grass, "where is she?" Bellatrix began searching the house, behind Moody, for her; as if her daughter would appear.
Staring at her blankly, Moody refused to reply.
Shrieking in rage, Moody watched as jets of fire streamed from the tips of her wand, setting the house ablaze. He knew he couldn't stop them even if he tried; they were three and he was one. They had Dark Arts and he only had the experience of less than 10 years to help him.
"My daughter would be about 1 by now…"
Moody's face crumbled in pain at the sight of Bellatrix frantically doing the sums in her head. Sirius knew, in that instant, that Moody still loved this woman.
"Our daughter, Bell," Moody spoke, choking over his words, "I wish she could know her mother. She looked so much like you,"
Bellatrix looked up, eyes wide; eager. But that easily transformed into rage, which consumed her from the inside. Moody could only watch as her dark eyes hardened.
"Give her to me!" Bellatrix shrieked, looking truly deranged.
"Her name is Lyra," Moody pressed on, "and you can have her, if you would let it go. You know this is wrong; what he is asking of you,"
Bellatrix glared at him, "The Dark Lord has proud aspirations for the world! He is saving us all,"
Moody snorted.
"Enough! Give her to me!" Bellatrix stalked forward on unbalanced feet. Moody stared. Immediately, from behind Bellatrix, came a jet of green light; heading straight for Moody. Ducking down to the ground, Moody shot back three curses with precision. Two at Rosier, from which the killing curse came from and one at Bellatrix.
One hit its mark on Rosier's chest as he ducked the other. Bellatrix parried away his curse. All at once, multiple curses came his way and Moody could only do so much to avert them. One hit him square in the face, throwing him back a metre; landing on his back.
As he scrambled up to his feet, he caught a glimpse of Bellatrix before she disapparated. On the same spot, a group of blue robed auror arrived.
Moody turned, looking up at his burning house; a great chunk of his nose blasted off, coating his face in thick crimson blood.
Remus froze.
His insides turned cold and he felt as if his center of the world had just shifted again.
There she was. In the midst of the werewolves. She was standing in between two of Greyback's henchmen.
A great weight was lifted off his chest but at the same time, Remus' heart broke.
She was drenched from head to toe. Her long black hair hung in wet strands about her pale heart shaped face. Her eyes were cast downwards; lifeless and soulless. Her lips were reduced to a thin straight line. It was as if she had never smiled before. There was a large bruise on the side of her face and also her neck. What tore at Remus' heart most was that half her face was covered in dried blood. He could also see that the same half of her hair was stuck with blood too.
Remus had blocked out Greyback's command for the raid, his focus all on her. She wasn't moving; not even an inch. Something wasn't right.
For months, he had this intuition in his gut that she was right here with him but the rational side of him daren't believe this bold hope. Then the patronus came and Remus' mind could not draw any parallels except to her; but his mind rarely did register anything in relation to anything else apart from her. He had looked and worried and yearned and here she was; a few paces ahead of him.
His fingers twitched uncomfortably from their place in his pockets. He wanted to touch her; caress her cheek and whisper comforts to her. He wanted to see her smile, to know that Tonks once more, to fall in love with her all over again.
It took Remus a whole minute and a few jostling plus a nudge from Bronson to realise that the pack is on the move. He watched, a furrow between his brows and his heart filled with worry, as the burly werewolf get a firm and rough hold on her upper arm, dragging her after the pack.
She went, not willingly but not in protest either. Nymphadora went without a flicker of recognition or self-awareness; it's like she didn't exist.
"Dada!" Lyra's bawl was deafening but they always made Moody smile. He rushed out into the dark front yard to find his daughter lying face down in the mud again. Kneeling by her, he scooped her into his arms; mud and all, shushing her tears.
"What is it Lyra?" He cooed, bouncing her affectionately.
"I fell!" She bawled, pointing accusingly at the weeds.
"I'm sorry, baby. Dada has not cleared them out this week. Stay away from them for me, can you?" Moody whipped out his wand and cleaned the wound on her knee as she whimpered an affirmative amidst her tears.
Sirius watched as Moody carried her into the house. It has not escape his notice that Moody now had a chunk of his nose missing, though still looking raw. So this was after Bellatrix's attack-
Sirius walked into the house, curious, as he heard Lyra's high pitched scream of exhilaration. True to what he heard, Moody was now tossing his daughter carefully into the air and catching her securely in his arms. Watching with a smile, Sirius followed little Lyra around as she went about her adventures in the living room while Moody went to the kitchen to get dinner ready.
Occasionally, Moody would yell a warning or a reminder to his careless daughter from the kitchen but the rambunctious girl didn't seem to hear.
Suddenly, the memory blurred and Sirius initially thought it was a shift in setting but only the visuals were blurred. He could hear the screams of Lyra; this time of horror. The laughter, the sound of curses soaring through the air. And finally, the flash of green light that was so blinding, Sirius thought it was sent directly to him.
The scene rearranged itself abruptly. The place was in ruins. Two bodies littered the ground closest to Sirius' feet. One face down and another on his back. Sirius didn't recognise either of them. As he walked closer to the house, he almost threw up as he came upon the mangled body of Lyra Moody. Her eyes were open, frozen in horror and fear forever. There were tear streaks on her cheeks and her lips were slightly parted.
Kneeling by her, sobbing his heart out was Alastor Moody. His torso suffered multiple wounds that were still bleeding, his right sleeve completely burnt, as was his arm. As he threw his head back, letting loose a gut wrenching scream, Sirius felt his stomach twist and threaten to throw up its contents. Moody's face was completely covered in blood and where his eye used to be, was an empty hollow socket in his anguish face.
To be continued…
A/N: I sincerely apologise for the absurdly long wait for such a short chapter. I have been ill for the past week and piled with endless work! I rushed this out for the scarred souls out there who can't survive another moment without a dose of pain from this sad chapter! I know things seem down now but, there is promises of a reunion, isn't there? ;) Who said this was going to be an easy AU journey for Tonks? (: Whatever it is, I'm really grateful to people who stuck out with me through the happiness and pain, mostly pain.
Hope you enjoyed it all the same. Thanks goes to echoes1818, Arya Lupin, the frozen cherry, Tonks23, NymphaTonksLupin, Furionknight, tt crews, Lupinesence, Sarah1996, remustonks565, Professor Pang and HammersNStrings!