Summary: Tadashi's desire to help people becomes questioned as he continues to spiral further into despair.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Hero 6 and its characters.

Tadashi finally stopped running until he came to a secluded area in a dark, narrow alley. He let the icy raindrops fall on his head as he leaned against a wall to catch his breath. He felt disgusted with himself for shouting at Fred and leaving him behind when the school mascot was trying to help him.

"Unbelievable... Why did I say those things?" he muttered, his heart filled with shame and anger. "Why can't I do anything right for once... I'm such an idiot!"

For the first time since the night he lost his robot, Tadashi wished Baymax was here to help him. He's been so used taking care of people, he never experienced being taken care of until Baymax came along. Now he felt so alone and helpless tonight.

He didn't know how long he stayed in that position but he then heard a couple of voices talking nearby. They seem to be coming from around the alley. Tadashi aimlessly followed the sound, his feet felt heavy like cement.

Around the corner and standing under a dry spot outside the back what looks like a restaurant, are the Banzai Brothers exchanging money and talking to what Tadashi recognized to be the older cousin of that Yasuo boy he rescued from a botfight a long time ago.

He stayed hidden in the shadows as he listened to their conversation.

"... So every time he wins a botfight, he gives all the cash to me," Yuan snickered.

"Are you really that okay with us landing your cousin in the hospital?" the older Banzai Brother asked, raising an amused eyebrow. "You should have seen how twisted his arm looked after we broke it."

"Hey, he keeps annoying me about how much he wants to see this Hiro Hamada kid from his school," Yuan shrugged.

"Speaking of which, what ever happened to that Hamada boy?" the younger Banzai brother asked as he began smoking a cigarette. "We haven't heard of him for a long time now. Do you think he stopped trying to hustle the other botfighters?"

"Haven't you read the newspapers weeks ago?" Yuan snorted. "He died in some fire accident at this college campus. Bet he went up in flames like his botfighting career."

"He deserved it!" the younger Banzai Brother laughed. "Little brats like him need to be taught a lesson."

"Excuse me."

The three men turned to see Tadashi approaching them; they were curious about why he's wearing such colorful armor. A dark shadow came over the inventor's face.

"Why would you treat a dead person with such disrespect?" Tadashi demanded. Then he turns to Yuan in a low voice. "And this cousin of yours... He obviously sees you as someone important to him, yet you don't care how much he gets hurt as long he gives you his winnings?"

"You have no damn business coming in here to tell us how we should treat people," the older Banzai brother growled. "Who do you think you are?"

Tadashi ignored him as he let dark thoughts clouding his heart. His electrical glove began to spark dangerously which made Yuan and the Banzai Brothers uneasy.

"Hey, do you think some lives are worth helping after all...?" he asked them in a strange tone. His eyes seemed lifeless and cold. "You better speak up now and tell me what I'm fighting for."

The lightning flashed and thunder clapped over their heads while Tadashi ominously waited for their answer.

The following morning, the rain stopped falling but the sky was still cloudy and grey. Gogo, Wasabi, Honey and Fred went to visit Tadashi at his home before they head to SFIT but to their shock, Aunt Cass told them that her nephew had not came home yesterday.

"I tried to reach him but he left his cellphone before!" Cass cried. She was starting to panic, fearing the worst that happened to her missing nephew. "I don't know what's happening to him-His health was improving and he was starting to act like his old self again. Now, he suddenly collapsed back into depression! I haven't called the police yet but I'm still scared..."

Honey placed a comforting, gentle hand on the older woman's shoulder.

"We'll find him and bring him back to you," Honey told her softly. "Tadashi's our best friend."

Aunt Cass sniffled and wiped away her tears.

"Just bring him home safe," she said, putting on a tiny smile. "And give him a good knuckle sandwich for worrying his auntie."

"We'll do that," Wasabi chuckled.

Gogo noticed from the corner of his eye that Fred wasn't smiling or acting upbeat like his usual. He was even acting strange earlier when the group decided to drop by the Lucky Cat cafe.

"I do have a question. Whatever happened to Baymax?" she asked curiously. "I haven't seen the big cutie in days."

The group fell into awkward silence; they couldn't bring themselves to tell them what happened to the robot. However, Wasabi acted fast.

"Oh, we took him back to SFIT for a presentation of some final robotics project!" he explained. He felt queasy telling a lie, but Aunt Cass bought it. Her smile became wider and more hopeful.

"Ah, so I guess that's where Tadashi is! Probably spend the night over at the school," she said. She shook her head but she was slowly feeling relieved. "Well, you better make sure he comes home tonight when you see him!"

When the group left the cafe, they walked around and saw the garage door halfway open. Wasabi opened the door fully. The inventor was nowhere to be found and the bins full of Hiro's microbots were in their place as usual. Honey poked around until she urgently called the others over. Everyone found Tadashi's red carbon-fiber armor, emitting the faint smell of rain, lying in a puddle of water behind the bins.

"So he was actually here earlier but he left home again without letting his aunt know," Wasabi said.

After everyone else left the garage, he closed down the door. The group walked further down until they came to a parking where Wasabi's new van and Gogo's bike are waiting for them.

"Where do you think Tadashi went off to?" Honey asked nervously. "You don't supposed something terrible has happened to him?"

"This is Tadashi-he survived near-death experiences and all kinds of danger," Wasabi muttered. "He probably went back to destroyed Krei Tech facility to dig up some remains of Baymax so he could rebuild him."

"I don't that's possible," Gogo frowned, popping her gum. "I've been keeping tabs of the newspaper. The police did some investigation of the building and they claimed most stuff buried under the rubble are completely destroyed."

The purple-streaked girl then pointed at Fred's direction. "But I think I know who was the last person who saw Tadashi last night."

Fred stammered, "I d-don't know where he went! We did our usual patrol and criminal-hunting as usual, he said he wanted to go home and told me not to follow him!"

"There's something you're not telling us," Gogo demanded.

Fred become reluctant but he caved in and told the others of Tadashi's scary behavior last night. The others were left stunned when the school mascot finished.

"That idiot..." Gogo grumbled.

"What do we do now?" Honey asked. "Should we go out and find him?"

"We can't skip class!" Wasabi protested.

Gogo then jumped into her bike-a normal one, not the school project version she made at the university-and turned to the others.

"I'll go find him instead since I'm faster and know my way around the city," she said. "You three go on ahead to SFIT, make some excuses about my absence."

Before the others could stop her, Gogo was already speeding down the street.

Nine Years Ago.

"Tadashi."

Five-year-old Hiro walked into Tadashi's side of the room. The little boy thought he heard his older brother crying and he came over to investigate.

"Hiro?" Tadashi's head perked up. He quickly wiped his snotty nose with the sleeve of his shirt. "I thought you were taking a nap."

The young boy was lying curled up in his bed; he had been crying after fully realizing he and Hiro's parents are dead and they're not coming back. Tadashi could feel his heart being crushed ever since the two-year anniversary of their deaths had passed. Despite now living with Aunt Cass, Tadashi is worried about a future without his parents to guide him.

Hiro didn't seem to understand why his big brother is crying. However, he gave Tadashi a huge smile and climbed onto his bed to give him a hug.

"Nii-chan, no crying," Hiro said cheerfully as he rubbed Tadashi's head. "Let's play."

Tadashi hiccuped his sobs but just looking at that tiny, happy face reminded him that he didn't lose Hiro too. He promised his parents he will look after his brother, and he's not going to give up on their promise.

The boy sat up and wiped his eyes dry.

"Okay, Hiro," he said. "What do you want to do you?"

Hiro squealed happily and jumped off the bed. He left his brother's side and came back carrying a box full of parts to build a toy.

"Can you teach me how to build a robot?" he asked excitedly.

Current Day.

Tadashi silently stood in front of Hiro's grave, holding Megabot in one hand. He couldn't remember what exactly happened last night but he felt so tired and his body was ready to fall apart in broken pieces.

"Hey, Hiro," he said, staring at his brother's name. He wondered if Hiro is listening to him right now. "I'm sorry for not stopping by to see you sooner. I had a lot of things on my mind."

He then holds up the battlebot in front of the grave. He tries to put on a cheerful smile. "I brought Megabot with me. I think he misses all those times you two won in botfighting."

He became quiet again. He saw Hiro standing before him, arms crossed and a cocky smirk on his face. Tadashi's heart filled despair and legs ready to give out.

"Hiro," he began. His throat felt as though there's a stiff limp preventing him to speak. "I'm sorry that I couldn't find you or save you. I promised Mom and Dad I'd looked after you, but I didn't..." He finally fell on his knees and let the hot tears fall down his face. "It's my fault you're gone... It's my fault."

He heard someone approaching him from behind and felt a hand touch his shoulder. He looked up to see Gogo looking down at him. She was panting as though she'd been speeding on her bike, but she looked relieved to see him.

"So, this is where you've been," she said. "You owed your aunt an apology. She was so worried about you, she didn't know where you went."

"Oh, right..." Tadashi run a hand over his face. "Sorry, I wasn't myself last night..."

"No, kidding. Fred told me and the others about the way you treated him at your last last patrol," she said stiffly, crossing her arms. "You can be so cruel, you know. Sorry if I sound harsh, but it's the truth. We can't always be walking on eggshells and waiting for you to explode on us."

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Her eyes softened in sadness. "You're our friend, Tadashi. You may try to push us away, but I don't think Baymax or Hiro would ever forgive us if we abandoned you now."

Hearing her words made Tadashi recall the night he and the others formed a superhero team to track down the masked man together. It was supposed to a moment where everything will go right for him; yet, Baymax is gone, Abigail isn't caught, and the one responsible for the fire is dead.

"Do you remember our promise that night?" she asked.

After explaining to the others about the video of Silent Sparrow he found back in Professor Callaghan's home on the same night they lost their robot friend, Tadashi still wanted to track down the criminal but the others stopped him since Abigail is now defenseless without her microbots and won't be going after them.

"But she's still out there!" he angrily told them, clutching the broken half of the Kabuki mask. "She could still attack innocent people! If you don't want to help me catch her, fine! But she still destroyed Baymax!"

Gogo suddenly came forward and slapped him across the face to shut him up much to the shock of the others. Tadashi was stunned for one moment; before he could say anything, Gogo pulled him into a big hug and Tadashi felt his body becoming warm and light. He felt safe in her arms and he found himself wishing he could melt into her.

"We'll continue patrolling the city as usual," she told him. "When we find Abigail next time, we're going to catch her and make it right."

She pulled back so she can glare at him with a pain expression. "So... stop being a reckless idiot. I don't want to see you end up dead."

Hearing how he's so important to Gogo made Tadashi's chest swell with fondness and his pain less hurt for a brief moment.

Gogo grabbed Tadashi by his arm and pulled him to his feet.

"C'mon, let's get you home," she said to him gently.

After enduring an earful punishment from Aunt Cass, Tadashi led Gogo up to his room so the two could talk more. The woman leaned against the inventor's desk while Tadashi sat on his bed. The two of them haven't spoke since they first entered the room, yet Gogo is in no hurry into making her friend talk. Tadashi struggled to find his words but it was so hard to concentrate when the girl he had his eyes one had found him at his weakest, lowest moment.

"This is the second time you left our friends to find me," he finally spoke up. He could feel his cheeks burning. "You got to stop doing that."

"If I don't, you'll probably wind up somewhere dead," Gogo replied, looking away from him. "Besides, I promised your aunt I'd look after you.

Tadashi chuckled a little before he continued.

"Gogo, can you be honest with me?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm always honest," she said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow. But are you willing to be honest with yourself? she thought.

"Everything I did for the past couple of weeks: upgrading Baymax, you, and everyone else... Fighting so hard to stop criminals and catch Abigail... Is it really worth it?"

"I think the better question is... Why exactly did you build Baymax for?" Gogo asked him.

Tadashi was taken aback by her words. "What do you mean?"

"I thought so," Gogo sighed. She was wearing a blank expression but what Tadashi's reactions confirmed her suspicions. "You're not really trying to help people."

"What does that have to do with that question you asked me earlier?" Tadashi demanded. He was getting angry again but Gogo went on.

"You built Baymax so he could help people," she told him. "But he was programmed with the skills to do his job. Skills that you lacked... You're basically extending your fantasy to help others because you feel you're not good enough to do it yourself. The night when you formed Big Hero 6 at Fred's home, you told us that you're not strong enough to protect all of us. You repeatedly pushed us away and refused our help, despite knowing the dangers of catching a criminal. If people involved with you die, it would ruin your 'golden boy' image that you've built up years trying to please everybody."

"You're wrong, I would never..." Tadashi stammered.

"Tadashi, you were in a hurry to save Callaghan from the fire that you never thought of the consequences of your reckless actions," Gogo pressed on without stopping. "You never thought about how Hiro would act, or how your aunt and friends would feel if the worse happened to you. You could have at least had asked some people nearby to help you find the professor but you immediately ran in. A truly selfless person would have at least hesitate instead of just blinding jumping into danger... You went through so much lengths to help people that you want to prove to them that you're a good person who'd literally die for the sake of others, because you want to be seen as someone special."

Tadashi stood up and his fist slammed his desk hard, the vibrations nearly knocking his lamp over. Gogo kept a cool expression.

"... Unless I'm reading too much into this, so I'm sorry for accusing you for such things," she said. She did sounded truly sorry.

However, Tadashi shook his head.

"No, you're right," he said weakly. He was wearing a strange, sad smile. "Everything I did to build Baymax to help people, form this team, and me being a good person... it's because I wanted to be needed by anyone and redeem my failures for not helping people sooner. That's why I'd rather be the person who gets hurt then letting others get hurt."

He thought back all those times he saw people standing by the side and not offering their hand to help people who are in danger; he couldn't allow himself to be that kind of person. He wanted to be a hero and a nurturer, even going so far to willingly sacrifice his health and personal needs while putting others before him. But after what happened last night, he felt like he doesn't deserve to protect San Fransokyo anymore.

"Okay, you may have a mild chronic martyr complex," Gogo shrugged. A reddish tint of blush appeared on her cheeks and she shyly scratched her face with a finger. "But the reason I became your friend and helped form Big Hero 6... is because I was inspired by you."

Tadashi looked at her with genuine surprise.

"You didn't have to prove that you're a kind, selfless person because you're already are," she said. "Seeing you acting like a hero for your brother and then for San Fransokyo, willingly ready to save the day from crime, and never asking anything in return... It may sound corny on Fred's comic book levels, but that's what I like about you. And when you began smiling less since Hiro died, it hurts my heart to see you become an empty shell of your former self. I wanted to see the Tadashi Hamada who inspires people to look for solutions in a different angle again."

Tadashi slowly approached until he was standing in front of her. He took her hands into his; it felt so warmth in his touch. He and Gogo stared deeply into each other's eyes.

"I'm still the same guy," he told her, closing his eyes. Then he lowered his head and locked his lips against hers.

He could taste the gum on her soft lips, and inside her mouth...

Later that afternoon, Tadashi called everyone else to the garage where he had an important announcement to tell them. The others are glad to see Tadashi is found alive and safe, but they were surprised when they learned it didn't take Gogo a long time to find him since she had a hunch that the robotics student would be hanging around Hiro's grave.

"So, you already found him but didn't tell us about it earlier?" Wasabi asked Gogo. "What have you two been doing all day?"

Gogo didn't saying anything and just popped her bubblegum, but her face turned red. She quickly moved away from Wasabi so she could stand next to Honey.

"Before I start, I want to apologize for my behavior last night, Fred," Tadashi began.

Fred grinned and wrapped an arm around his friend's neck. He seemed to bounced back to his usual, cheerful self.

"It's all in the past!" he said. "So, is this gonna take long, cuz I'm itchin' to take down more criminals soon!"

"That's the thing, Fred," Tadashi said. He took a deep breathe and sighed. His face showed a hint of regret. "I'm going to disband Big Hero 6."

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Notes: Sorry this took forever to update! I've been busy getting work and I came down with a nasty cold. _ A few characters from chapter 6 have returned briefly here~

So yeah, this chapter pretty explains Tadashi's reason and urge to help people because he desperately NEEDS to be wanted, so he builds up the image that he's a kind, selfless person to hide his insecurities and weaknesses, and also his guilt for not being able to help and save people important to him (his parents, Hiro, Baymax, etc). This boy needs a hug. Hmm, but what did he do to those three people and is he really okay? And would he really disband Big Hero 6 even though Abigail is still out there?

BTW, since I'll be working soon, chapter updates might be weekly instead, but we shall see.