A/N: *gasp* Mak?! You are alive?!
ASDOQWDOQWIENFSKNGBERUIFNWEJKDNWDOIC-!
Yes, you singular reader that actually may remember this story. I am alive.
Now, I'm well aware that's it's been years since I last touched this story.
But hey,
"I can't promise that I can continue writing at a steady rate. Not that it was steady to begin with."
At least my past self was prepared for it.
Soooooo yeah. A lot has changed about me over the past two years. My self-confidence has boosted, I have a wee bit of unarmed combat training...
Y'know, the normal stuff.
So yeaaaaah... This isn't a new chapter. This is a series of ideas that I had written for the story that I couldn't get to because I didn't get far enough into it.
The only reason you are reading this right now is because I was sitting there, bored, and had the idea of "Hey, I had a bunch of great ideas for that one self-insert I made a few years back. Why don't I just publish those ideas in some excerpts so that the one guy that actually read the story can be satisfied."
Excerpt #1: Drifted Maiden (Timeframe: Right after Twisted Plot in-story)
And so, I, the most moronic moron of them all, have been stuck with trying to teach an amnesiac girl how to speak.
Of course, not the experienced healers, or any of the damn people that have real experience with this kinda stuff.
NOPE! Just stick her with the guy that knew her for a while. That always ends well.
"So... Er... Do you remember your name, perhaps?" I ask the girl who still somehow qualifies as Calina.
She shakes her head, her face cringing and contorting in thought. "N-Naaaame...?"
I nod. "Yes. Do you remember?"
"Re...Mem...Ber...?" she groans.
I sigh. "Yes. Remember?"
She sits there, confused for a few more minutes.
That's it. I'm done.
"Hey! Maribelle? Maybe you should try!" I groan. I get up out of my seat, and turn toward the door.
"N-Nooooooooooooo!" Calina cries.
WAASIJFLADIJAS- What?!
The room is soon filled with the loud bawling of a 18 or 19 or something year old girl.
"N-N-N-No! Stop! S-Stop crying!" I desperately beg in a yell-whisper.
And she doesn't stop.
"RAVEL!" Maribelle barges into the room. "What in Naga's name are you doing?!"
Keeping a straight face, I just lightly shrug.
She takes her parasol and whacks me across the side. "You must treat a lady with patience and respect!" she growls. "Especially a poor girl in a state such as this..."
I sigh, before bowing my head in shame. "...Should I just go?" I ask.
Maribelle angrily nods.
I turn toward the door, not looking back as I leave the room.
Excerpt #2: Home Is Where the Previous Soul Is (Timeframe: Chapter 13 ingame)
"So... This is Plegia still-needs-a-better-name Castle?" I ask to no person in particular.
Lana nods. "Yeah... Looks pretty nice here." she turns her head toward me, her long black hair flying into her face "I think I heard something about you having been here before. Care to explain?"
I nod.
And so I explain.
But yeah, she isn't kidding. Plegia still-needs-a-better-name Castle has gotten a really decent makeover. It's pretty clean, is a lot more lively,...
Oh, right, I forgot that it's filled with cultists. Lots of cultists.
As I finish the story, I turn toward the door to the conference room. "Hmm... They sure are taking a bit. I wonder if Chrom and the others are alright?"
Lana chuckles. "Yeah. I don't blame you for your worry. But things have been pretty accurate so far. It's not like there's anything that could go wrong."
I feel my face pale a bit.
"Great..." I whisper. "Now something is definitely going to go wrong..."
I pause.
...
Huh.
Nothing.
"Hah. See, Ravel? You're crazy." Lana laughs. "Your luck isn't that bad."
I sigh. "Okay, okay. Maybe you are right then." I grin, and look up toward the ceiling. "Things have been getting better for me lately... Maybe things will go pretty-!"
"E-Excuse me..." I quickly jump in panic, prompting a chuckle from Lana, before turning around.
Oh, it's... It's just an old lady...
"Er, Excuse me...?" the woman repeats herself.
Lana and myself both look at one-another.
Of course, that is when I realize that this poor old lady is expecting a response.
"E-Er, yes? What is it?"
The lady gives a warm smile. "Oh, i-it's just that... Something about this beautiful young woman is... Familiar..."
Hm? I turn toward Lana.
"U-Um... Excuse me, young lady..." the old woman shyly says. "W-Would you mind taking off your glove for just a second...?"
Lana looks toward me puzzled, and turns back toward the woman, "Uh... Sure."
The dark mage pulls off her right-handed glove, revealing a mark of..
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
"Is that a mark of Grima?" I manage to say.
The old lady doesn't respond however, instead staring at the tattoo in shock.
She looks Lana in the eyes, her eyes filled with tears. "Y-Your majesty!" she cries. "I thought I would never see you again!"
"Er, um... Wha-! I mean, Uh..." Lana's face switches through all sorts of emotions.
"My my! I was told that you were killed along with your parents!" the old woman gets up and starts dancing around happily. "I never would have thought that the crown princess herself would return to us!"
"Excuse me..." a familiar voice asks.
I quickly turn around to see Chrom and the others, along with Validar and Aversa, have entered the room.
"Um... Yes, Chrom... I know about as much as you do about this.." I groan.
"THE CROWN PRINCESS HAS RETURNED TO US AT LAST!" the old woman yells across the palace. "PREPARE A WONDROUS FEAST FOR ONE THOUSAND MEN!"
Lana looks toward me in the most shocked, confused, frightened, and somehow angry look that I have ever seen.
I-It looks pretty cute, actually.
But... AHEM. That's beside the point...
JEREMIAH! DO YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE?!
Um... No thanks.
OH, OH! THE ONE TIME I ACTUALLY NEED SOME INFORMATION FROM YOU, YOU DECIDE NOT TO TELL ME?!
"SCREW YOU JEREMIAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I scream out, ignoring the confused onlookers.
Excerpt #3: Walmart the Lobster Man (Timeframe: Chapter 17 ingame)
"Stop!" Lucina yells, blocking Basilio's way.
Chrom reaches his hand out in confusion. "Lucina? What are you-?!"
"I cannot allow you to go, Khan Basilio. You will die in this battle. I know it for truth!" Lucina cries.
"What...?" is the collective reaction of most people in the room.
"You know, lass, you have a strange way of saying good-bye. All right, then. Who is it? Who kills me? Is it Walhart himself? ...Please say yes. It'd make a poor song to die at the end of some farmer's pitchfork." Basilio chuckles.
Lucina sighs. "...Yes, it was Walhart. Or so goes the story I heard. We must change our plans so fate cannot take this course!"
The Khan nods. "All I needed to know. Thank you much, lass. ...I'll be careful."
"Y-you're still going? But I just told you—"
"Aye, I heard you just fine. But someone still has to stall his division from advancing. If he's the one that kills me, well then, I'll just avoid confronting him. You don't grow this old and handsome without knowing how to avoid trouble." the Khan reassure her.
"N-no! It's never that simple."
"Don't worry, love, he'll be fine. He'll have me to keep an eye on him." Flavia nods, walking up beside Basilio.
"And me." I grin, walking up beside the two.
Everyone else stops, turning to look at me in confusion.
I stop grinning. "Wait... Did I actually say that out loud?"
Basilio, sporting a giant grin, grabs me and puts me in a headlock. "Haha! See? This boy's got my back!"
ACK-AUGH CANT BREATHE-!
"But Flavia!" Basilio quickly lets me go, turning toward her to have his own personal argument.
"Ravel. No." Lucina walks up to me. "I do not want to risk you getting killed."
I sigh. "Yeah, Lucina. I understand the concern. But you don't have to worry."
"But-!"
"No buts!" I chuckle in between. "Fate is nothing. Fate is that piece of crap in the sky that tries to strike me with lightning, and impale me, and trip me, and do all sorts of really annoying things to me."
Actually, I think his name is Jeremiah.
Wow, you are such a kind person.
But I digress.
"The point is: Fate hasn't killed me." I nod. "I've survived because those things made me stronger."
Lucina coughs. "Er, I believe that is luck that you are referring to."
"BUT IT WAS FATE THAT I WAS GIVEN SUCH TERRIBLE LUCK!"
Lucina opens her mouth to object-
"Yeah, Lucy." Kassidy smiles from the other side of the room. "Let him go. He knows what he's doing."
Lucina turns toward my daughter in dismay. "But Kassid-!"
"No buts!" Kassidy also chuckles in between. "Father is the one that trained me. He taught me what I know. You know how strong I am. He's more than capable of taking on Walhart."
I turn toward my daughter. "Thanks, Kassidy." I grin, before turning back toward Lucina. "Besides, I'm not going to get killed by an overgrown lobster on a pony."
Everyone else pauses.
"Wait, you have seen him before?" Say'ri asks.
I pause.
"...No?"
"And so I had to explain a really long and complicated excuse as to how I've seen him in order to prove that I am not a Valmese spy." I groan.
"And to think, they still didn't let you go." Lana chuckles.
Excerpt #4: Lovebirds (Timeframe: Some time after Valm arc ingame)
After the final Risen is slain, I stop to turn toward the hooded girl.
So... Eh... This is Morgan...
But... Who is Robin married to?
I shake my head.
"So... The battle is over. You can put down your hood if you want." I mutter.
"Oh, okay!" Morgan smiles, before yanking her hood do-ow-ow-ow-own...
um
er
uh
I...
"...Nice... Uh.. Hair you have there..." I mutter.
Morgan smiles, before looking down at her hair. "Oh, thank you!" she looks up to me. "It looks a lot like yours."
I groan.
"So..." I sigh. "I may as well take you to your Father now..."
Kassidy
"Oh Robin..." I laugh.
He gives his signature dorky grin, making sure to hold it for as long as possible.
"Nooooo... Stahp!" I jokingly look away. "You know how adorable I think that makes you look!"
I try to hold back my laughter.
"And that's why I'm going to keep doing it." he smiles.
We both lean in, sharing a long kiss.
Robin's... Actually a pretty good kisser..
Er, I mean, it's not like I would know or anything...
I back away for a second. "By the way, there was this-!"
F-Father?
Behind Robin, standing at the door to the tent, is Father.
Oh gods... Why is he smiling...
That isn't his normal smile... That's his... Psychotic smile...
Robin, spotting the fear on my face, quickly turns around, instantly spotting my father.
"E-Er, Ravel! H-H-Hey! I can e-explain!" Robin yells.
Father closes his eyes and laughs. "Yeah, Robin you probably can... But can you explain this?"
His smile fades, and he reaches his hand outside, dragging in a small red-headed girl.
"Father! Oh my gosh!" the girl grins, running toward Robin. She quickly wraps her arms around him. "I missed you so much!"
Wh-
What?
"Now... Robin. I think we both know where babies come from." Father puts his psychotic grin back on.
Robin gulps. "I-I mean, It's not like I-!"
"Robin." Father laughs. He walks up to Robin, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'll give you a thirty second head-start."
Before he even finishes his sentence, Robin runs out the door.
"W-What was that all about?" the girl asks.
"Er... Sorry we didn't... I mean..." I blush, staring at the ground.
Father nods. "It's okay. But that's not what's important right now."
He turns toward the girl. "Kassidy, this is Morgan, your soon-to-be fatherless child. Any questions you have will be answered after I have found and skinned Robin alive." he unsheathes his sword and slowly walks out of the tent.
"Um... So... I guess that means you are my Mother... then..?" Morgan shyly asks.
I quickly pick up my daughter and tightly squeeze her.
Aw... She's so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute...
I just got to-
eeeeeee
So adoraaable~!
"ACK! HELP! Y-YOU'RE- ACK!"
"O-Oh, sorry..." I pause, inspecting my daughter.
She's even got mine and father's haaaaaaair~!
Auuuuuugh!
"Um... Mother... Should we go rescue Father, or not?"
I pause, quickly getting back to my senses. "That would probably be a good idea... Yes.."
A/N: Yeah. I had many other ideas as well. But these were the more fleshed out ones.
Yeah. There's a lot of things that I didn't get to clarify in the excerpts.
-Lana is another person from Earth. That whole royalty arc isn't shown, but it does change the course of Chapter 13 at least.
-Future kids do get to meet up with Shepherds right about at Valm.
-Calina and Niro do eventually get better and rejoin the Shepherds.
-Drake is Lana's son, actually. Gaius is the father. Because yeah.
-Cordelia was meant to be Kassidy's mother. Of course that wasn't going to be made apparent until Severa was recruited.
So yeah. I doubt I will ever get to rewriting this. So I felt that I should at least just post this to satisfy the people that were mostly left hanging when I had first put this on hiatus.
I think I tried to differentiate it in the first excerpt, but I ended up reverting to my old writing style by the beginning of the second one.