If there is one thing the military could wish, it probably would be freedom being cheap.
There are no exceptions to the cruelty of reality in the military. Death was so common you could not just expect expeditions without casualties.
Jean is not a stranger to this. He has lost many comrades in the years fighting for humanity, some of them close friends.
The graves in front of him are enough proof of that.
He should be used to it, maybe. But it's so strange to think of them as dead people. As fallen comrades.
Eren Jaeger, Humanity's Last Hope and Captain of the Survey Corps, now just a name in stone and a memory on their minds. Just dates in front of him and beloved, devoted son, brother, friend and no more angry boy to fight with.
Jean can still hear his own voice, Connie's voice, Sasha's yelling and screaming and he was their brother so you put that in that goddamn stone, do you hear me?
"Asshole" he mumbles, kicking the dirt in front of him "You who wanted to see the world, you just had to go and die, right? And now I have to do it. We are going out…and you won't" he could feel tears on his eyes, Eren's last seconds burning in the back of his head.
How could he forget Eren's eyes, staring at the sky, his lips slowly turning into a smile as he closed his eyes; cheeks scarred and blood trailing down his chin and lips? He died, but he died outside the walls and that seemed to be enough at that moment to look almost peaceful.
They think now, maybe Eren knew he was going to die. He was maybe expecting it, after losing Mikasa and Armin.
Mikasa and Armin, both dying in the battle field side by side with their childhood friend. Oh, how did they miss them.
They didn't die heroics deaths. They didn't die with hundreds yelling their name, cheering them.
No, they died quietly, their cries muffled by the sound of too many titans going in their direction, their tears too small for anyone to see.
She died protecting Armin, and Armin died yelling to get back, to leave them. He died trying to protect others.
Mikasa Ackerman, Humanity's Strongest and Captain of the Survey Corps. Beloved friend, niece, sister and daughter; fierce protector. Because she was their sister, and they could fight them about it. She was so protective of them…and it was her downfall. They doubted she ever regretted it.
Armin Arlert, Strategist of the Survey Corps. Beloved friend, brother, son, grandchild. They were all one big family, weren't they? And now…they were small…and broken…
"You didn't deserve to die…neither of you did. You just wanted to get out, to get a quiet life! And now…now you never will" he feels the tears filling his eyes, his vision blurring. The wetness on his cheeks, a sniff in his nose.
"We're leaving in a few hours. We're going to explore. It's…it's the Arlert mission; its main objective is finding the sea. We'll have the Jaeger-Ackerman mission later. We'll…search for a safe place to start over" he tries to stop his sobs, his hand wiping his tears.
"Connie is one of the most excited about this. He just wants to leave this place for good. Sasha is coming with us. I guess she just doesn't want to be without us…last time we all got separated was when the whole things with Connie's village happened. We're safe now but…I guess old ghost don't fade with time as they say. Historia says she wishes she could come, but seems like a queen can't just leave whenever she wants"
He kicks the dirt, hides his hands in his pockets; he bows his head and closes his eyes.
"So…I guess this is goodbye" he lets the last tear fall before he raises his head "We'll come back, from time to time. I swear, so you better take care of each other…not that you wouldn't" he hits his chest with his right hand, above his heart. Steps sound behind him, slowly, quietly.
He can feel Connie's hand on his shoulder, and Sasha's finding her way to his own.
They would be okay, with time.
They would heal, like Humanity, for now they were free thanks to hundreds of sacrifices.