Chapter 40: Love

Tonks felt a whiplash as a large hand closed around her arm, holding her back.

She watched in terror as Dumbledore's body sailed through the night, towards the fast approaching ground. His eyes were open and seemed to be looking up at her, a slight hint of a smile on his face.

She sank to her knees by the edge of the tower as his body hit the floor below. Tonks closed her eyes and felt tears welling up but she was shoved to her feet and dragged down the stairs. She glanced to her side to see that it was Snape holding her. Red clouded her vision and she gave him a right hook to the face. He stumbled, letting go of her in surprise that quickly turn to a snarl. Tonks glared at him and they fixed eye contact for a split second. His eyes widened as they looked at her and there was a flash of pain in his eyes but Tonks was too mad to ponder over that. Snape spun on his heels without a word and walked down the steps, one hand on Draco's shoulder.

"Why? Why, Snape?" Tonks cried, her voice echoing down the hollowed circular stairs. The voice was pained and raw, not sounding like her own. Suddenly, she felt someone run into her as he was running down the steps. She stumbled, almost falling down the steps but as she regained her balance, she saw Harry. In his hand, he clutched his wand as he gave chase. Harry shot a full body bind curse at Yaxley and the burly death eater froze up and dropped motionless on the floor.

Tonks raced after Harry, ducking curses as she ran through the battle. The Aurors who were on duty were all engaged in the battle. However, Tonks could see that the death eaters were retreating, probably instructed by Snape or Bellatrix.

Tonks saw Harry slip into a secret passage which Tonks has used numerous times for her shenanigans during her time at Hogwarts as well and she considered going in after Harry but she decided against it and ran to catch up with the retreating death eaters. If Harry was seeking vengeance, he'll be there.

She caught up to them at Hagrid's hut in time to see Rowle setting Hagrid's hut on fire.

"Stop!" Tonks snarled, grabbing Rowle by his shoulder and shoving him aside. He scowled at her and made to argue.

"Get off the grounds now, we're done here," Snape droned and Rowle sneered at Tonks before he and the rest of the death eaters raced off the grounds and out the gates.

"Snape!" Harry roared. Tonks turned and saw Harry get struck down by the Carrows from the back but he recovered and shot two impedimenta jinx to knock them over before narrowing down on Snape again. His eyes were burning. Tonks had never seen Harry so mad. Harry shot at Snape a flurry of spells but Snape read them all a split second using legilimency before Harry shot them.

When Snape made to attack Harry, Tonks grabbed him by his wand hand, her hands around his wrist.

"Are you traitor?" She hissed. Snape shook her off coldly but Tonks felt something hit her side, hard and she was threw back a couple of metres. Her head hit a rock on the ground hard, sending starburst into her eyes.

"Harry," she muttered as her eyes saw a blurry figure of Harry towering over her. When her eyes cleared, she saw his wand and from the corner of her eye, saw Snape on the ground beside her.

Harry turned his glare onto her, "Tonks, why didn't you help him?" Harry demanded, his voice thick with mourning.

"I-," Tonks averted the boy's eyes and looked down. Harry was right. She should've helped him when she could. She had let Dumbledore die before her eyes, because she trusted Snape.

Snape flicked his wand before either Tonks or Harry could react and Harry was thrown back. Tonks leaped to her feet as Snape did.

"Kill me then! Kill me like you killed him, you coward!" Harry roared in anger and pain, scrambling to his feet.

"Don't call me a coward!" Snape roared, shooting curses at Harry.

Harry parried away one and Tonks parried away another as she stepped in front of the boy.

Snape paused momentarily.

"You killed him," Tonks stated and saw no manner of remorse in his eyes. Then she felt her rage, "he trusted you, he helped you,"

"No," Snape sneered but before he could continue, Tonks shot two curses in succession which Snape parried away and dove to his side to duck the other. He pursed his lips before wordlessly shooting spells as her as she did him. Snape's curses came quick but Tonks held her own against him. Her rage fuelled her magic, her Dark magic. Beside her, Harry added his spells to her own. Snape snarled and flicked his wand at Harry. Tonks casted a quick wordless shield charm and a jet of green escaped her wand towards Snape.

Tonks saw the first look of surprise cross Snape's face before he tumbled to duck the spell. Watching her ally tumble across the dirt struck a sense of guilt in Tonks but she advanced on him. She casted a full body bind quickly but Snape rolled away from that, his retaliation spell cutting open the cuff of her robe, drawing blood.

"I'm still an Auror, Snape," She snarled, parrying away his second spell and firing two more back at him.

"Are you?" He retorted calmly.

Just then, her mind exploded with a world of pain that send her to her knees. At first, she'd thought Snape had hit her with a Cruciatus curse but it was different. Her head felt like it was going to split into two.

"Nymphadora," The serpentine features swam into her mind, hissing in her ear, "Why do you betray me?" The pain was blinding. She lost sight of Snape and the burning hut in front of her. She lost grip on her wand. She didn't have a sense of orientation.

"Tonks?" She could hear Harry's confused voice somewhere but she couldn't see anything, she couldn't feel anything in her surroundings.

She heard something snap followed by a thump and she knew it couldn't be good.

I didn't. She thought insistently, her teeth gritted together.

Liar! He hissed at her

"Stop getting into my head!" Tonks growled and felt a burst of rage leave her. All of a sudden, everything was back. The dark night sky, the burning hut. She was on her side, her face pressed into the cold wet grass. It took her a moment to register to blurry black figure a distance away to be Snape's retreating back. He was running towards the gates with Buckbeak furious and on his heels. She felt around on the damp grass blindly for her wand and cursed when she came up empty as she scrambled to her feet.

"SNAPE!" Harry roared from behind her. She turned to see Harry, too, scrambling to his feet, arranging his glasses. Tonks watch grudgingly as Snape disapparated with a crack. Wordlessly, she summoned her wand to her hand.

"Harry," She grabbed his arm calmly and she spun around to look at her, his emerald eyes filled with hatred, "he's gone," Tonks stated, referring to Snape but hatred left Harrys' eyes and the boy sank to the ground. That was when Tonks recalled everything and felt pain of a loss hit her.

Dumbledore is dead.

Harry looked like a walking dead, Tonks thought, but she don't think she looks much better herself. She just watched and stood with her wand useless in her hand as the greatest wizard in history was murdered in cold blood. She just froze. She respected and loved Dumbledore even as a teacher and her failure weighed down on her shoulders, threatening to overwhelm her.

Her chest was burning and she can't breathe right. She is an Auror. What kind of Auror fails in this manner? What member of the Order stands there and watch their leader fall without doing anything? She felt an anger for Snape overwhelm her. He was supposed to be loyal. Dumbledore practically swore on his life and now he has paid the price with his life for a mistake.

They walked till they reach the hospital wing. Harry pushed open the door and Tonks was dismayed when she heard the wailing of Molly Weasley come through the crack. Bill…

Tonks dashed into the hospital to see the Weasley family around a hospital bed. There's Remus by the window sill and the kids were there. Tonks silently sighed in relief after seeing Remus safe and healthy. Hermione embraced Harry while Tonks gently pushed her way through.

Bill was motionless on the hospital bed, his handsome face marred with ugly scars.

"Bill…" Tonks breathed and she looked to Fleur, who Tonks hasn't had the honour of meeting but heard so much from Ginny's complaining. The beautiful veelas' eyes were red and puffy as she looked at Tonks, "is he…alright?"

Fleur sniffed and looked away.

"He will be," Molly replied thickly from behind Arthur's handkerchief before she sobbed into her husband's shoulder.

"He won't be a real… y'know.." Fleur spoke and everyone converged onto Remus. Tonks' heart broke. He has blood all over his front and smears of it on his weary face. There was a huge gash on the side of his head which looked like it has crusted over and blood has dried over it.

"No," his confident voice rang out and Tonks' heart sang to hear it, "Greyback didn't attack Bill in his werewolf form so Bill won't be a werewolf but he'll have wolfish characteristics…Developing a preference for rare meat for example, but nothing worse than that," nothing worse or equivalent to what I am. Tonks could hear the unsaid words. She wanted to go up to him now and cup his cheeks to tell him no man will ever be his equivalent or his better to her but she restrained herself, knowing both her and Remus are not publically affectionate people.

Molly sniffed and nudged Fleur out of the way of applying a smelly balm on Bill's scars but Fleur nudged her back and stubbornly stayed put.

"I can take care of 'im and I will!" Fleur snapped fiercely.

Molly looked puzzled, "you're not going to leave him now that he have these…scars?"

"Of course I won't! I'm not that kind of person!" Fleur turned her attention back to Bill with tears running down her face. Molly was stunned for a moment before she let out a sob and threw her arms around Fleur.

Tonks looked away as they sobbed into each other's embrace with the Weasley family looking on. She glimpsed Remus doing the same and slipping out the door.

With a strained smile, she slipped pass the Weasleys and nodded to Hermione before dashing out the door after Remus. The corridor was dark and eerie. The winds which blew through the castle raised goosebumps on her skin. She saw Remus' frantically retreating back and raced after him.

"Remus," She touched his shoulder as he turned to look at her, she didn't miss the forlorn look in his eyes, the look which she feared and hated most on his face. Tonks never want Remus to feel abandoned or unwanted. Whatever happened, she wanted him, she would keep him. She cupped his cheek, feeling his stubble under her palm.

"Are you alright?" They both whispered in unison. Tonks chuckled and Remus couldn't hold it in at the sight of her smile, "you first," Tonks insisted, glancing meaningfully at the dried blood on his head.

"It's just a cut," He waved it away and took her arm delicately in his large hands. Tonks looked down to see her black sleeve darkened a dark maroon with blood.

"It's just a cut," She echoed and met his poorly restrained smile with a wink. Remus' eyes looked so bright in the dark corridor, the blue catching the moonlight fully. They softened and Tonks melted into his embrace.

"I was so scared when I saw you run up those steps," Remus muttered. She could picture his eyes shutting as he pressed a kiss to her hair and she smiled against his shoulder.

"Remus…" Her voice was thick with grief and muffled, "I saw it… I watched him die and I stood," She didn't realise she was shaking till Remus' firm but gentle hands steadied her shoulders, "I couldn't grab a hold of him and he-he felt off the edge of the astronomy tower! I didn't, I really didn't think Snape will kill him...-he killed Dumbledore…"

Remus' jaw tightened before he swallowed and spoke, "It's not your fault…" He held her face in his hands, "I know you did what you could," He pressed a firm kiss to her forehead, a kiss which told her whatever he said, he meant it truly. Tonks shuddered and buried her face into his chest. Later, she might have to face the world but now, she'll hide from it. None of it matters for her now, not the war, not Voldemort or her guilt, everything will turn out alright.

She felt numb as she walked down the great hall of Hogwarts. There was a dull ache in his head. Remus held her smaller hand gently in his, protecting her, warming her, reminding her that she is there and holding onto her for support as well.

Her heart, however, warmed as the memory of last night floated into her head.

Last night…

His fingers drew lazy circles on her back, his other hand playing with her fingers gently.

"Are you feeling better?" His warm voice whispered into her ear, breathing hot breath onto her flushed ear.

She nodded and Remus straightened out, sitting up and helping her sit up. He wandlessly summoned a bottle from the dresser. As he unscrewed the cap, she frowned, puzzled.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Of course we can use magic but with my skills and yours…I'm afraid it'll scar…" Remus hid a smile. Tonks mocked a scowl as he gently dabbed the oilment on her arm. It was cold but Remus' blue eyes, filled with concern, filled her insides with warmth.

"Remus…" She unwittingly spoke, a lump forming in her throat as he looked up, smiling, "I love you," She croaked. Tonks froze as his smile faded and Remus leaned forward without preamble and pressed his lips to hers. He took her lower lips between his and she fisted his brown hair.

This felt like home and then the feeling was gone. Tonks pouted her disappointment at him as she opened her eyes.

Remus was scrambling off the bed and Tonks saw scarred filled and pale torso. He had a lean body, muscles underneath skin but his ribs stood out. On his rib, the skin was twisted by the thick ropey scar running along the length of it. His arms had scars as well, some thick, some thin and faded. His shoulders are squared and broad and strong. Tonks blushed as she noticed that the band of his pyjamas trousers have slipped lower, revealing his hipbones and another scar along his hips.

He coaxed her to the edge of the bed and knelt at her feet.

"Nymphadora," Remus started in his deep and reassuring tone that Tonks would willingly listen to it for the rest of her life. He even made her name sound normal and nice, "I know I have nothing to give you, I don't have any money, I don't have the popularity or the talent, I don't have the killer good looks-" Tonks made to speak but he spoke first, "please let me finish," She nodded, albeit reluctantly, "I don't have the good body girls dream about. But I do wish you could give me a chance to love you, to treat you how you ought to be treated; like a queen. I can give you a family life, a husband, my heart, my whole being."

Tonks' breath caught in her throat as she heard what he said.

Then his calm exterior seemed to crack as he force a smile, "I want to do it in an old fashioned manner and yet I can't even give you a proper proposal at a fine restaurant…I have been wanting to ask you this but I just don't…" he took a deep breath but Tonks could hardly draw a breath, "Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, will you marry me please?"

There was no ring in sight, no luxurious room or dinner. They were in Moody's house, in a guest room which Tonks has slept in before when she slept at Moody's house. Heck, they didn't even have proper clothes on. Remus was topless and Tonks was wearing an oversized shirt and shorts.

"Yes, of course I would…" She whispered.

Remus' eyes lit up and for a moment Tonks thought he'll leap to his feet but he beamed and a mischievious glint flashed in his eyes, "What was that, Dora?"

She pouted, lying back onto the bed, covering her face with both hands, "you heard me!"

"Yes I did," Remus' voice was heard above her and she felt his warm breath on the back of her hands. Her heart pounded and she opened her eyes to see Remus' face hovering over hers, "Thank you," He kissed her forehead, then her eyes, then her nose, then both her cheeks and finally, a peck for her lips.

"Hey," Tonks was nudged out of her reverie as Remus touched his arm gently, "what are you thinking about?" he asked gently.

"About you, last night." She confessed.

Remus gave her a small smile and turned back to watch Dumbledore's funeral procession solemnly. Some might say it is absurd that Remus had the audacity to propose on the night of the death of a respected wizard in the wizarding world. However, to Tonks, that couldn't have been cleverer of him. He made a night of grief become a night of happiness and remembrance for the both of them and Tonks thanked and loved him for that.

Dumbledore would be happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world.

A/N: I know Fleur has an accent but I'm not too sure how French accent will sound on English and rather exclude it than screw it up so I hope you bear with it!

About how many chapters there will be for this story, I can't say for sure myself! But if you notice, this story might be AU but follows the books fundamentally, so this story will end along with the books! Now we're at the end of Half Blood Prince and I think we're nearing the end unless plot bunnies come to me out of the blue! Thanks all of the reviewers for your well wishes for my exam, I wouldn't say I aced it and is a little worried for certain subjects but oh well, it's done. I'm slowly getting back my groove for this story and hope you guys won't give up on it, I know I won't!