Soundwave Meets the Internet
AN: My sister was begging me to write this and I finally lost the ability to say no XD. Here you go sis, hope you like it.
Starscream was starting to lose it. It felt like his processor was going to explode. Okay, sure he wasn't exactly the most reliable mech in the army and probably not the most graceful, but who was?
So what if he kept on getting into some sort of trouble with the Autobots; that usually resulted in unimaginable accidents. Every bot has bad days, right?
The seeker scowled, clenching his servos into a tight metal ball. Most of the Decepticons, especially Knockout, seemed to think it was fun to humiliate the mighty Starscream! Calling him names and pushing him around whenever they felt like it. It wasn't that unusual though. He was actually pretty use to it. That is until Soundwave found another online video…
"Damn that medic! Damn him to the lowest pit of Unicron's tank!" Starscream ranted on. It was only a few hours ago that another accident occurred with the Autobot scum. Starscream and his team were scouting for Energon and were successful at finding a mine. Sadly, the Autobots were there, and in the midst of battle, somehow some way, Starscream's head caught on fire. He couldn't remember how exactly, but pit did that hurt!
What was worse was that later on that day, Starscream was locating a relic and ended up finding a large fuzzy ball of fur laying over it. Annoyed, he had picked up a large stick and tried to move the thing out of the way. Not two seconds later, Starscream discovered that giant ball of fur was actually an angry grizzly bear and a big one at that. It tore off his arm!
Of course that was only the beginning for the seeker. While being treated, Knockout made a mistake and gave Starscream expired medicine; this resulted in him blacking out for a few hours. When Starscream woke up back in the medic's office, his cod piece hurt like pit! Long story short, the expired pills made the seeker delusional; making him want to catch fish with his spike. More specifically piranhas.
Starscream collapsed onto the berth, releasing a groan of bliss at finally being home. He allowed his optics to close; recharge tugging his problems away for the night.
A soft melody rang through halls, and seemed to be getting closer.
"Set fire to your hair. Poke a stick at a grizzly bear."
"Eat medicine that's out of date. Use your private parts as piranha bait."
Where was that song coming from?
"Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die."
"Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die."
Starscream growled in annoyance, stuffing his helm under a large pillow in hopes to suffocate the sound.
'Wait a second. All that happened to me this morning!' Starscream shot out of bed and rushed to his door. He scanned the hallways. The music, surprisingly, stopped; it was dead quiet.
He waited, and waited, but there was no more music. Reluctantly, the seeker slipped back into his room, crawling back in bed. Maybe it was just his imagination.
"Awe, slag it! This stupid toast won't come out!" It felt like Primus himself was laughing at him. Starscream slammed the Cybertronian sized toaster on the counter before marching and picking up a tool, its resemblance matched that of a fork.
"Prepare to bow to the mighty Starscream!" The mech bellowed and proceeded to stab the piece of metal into the toaster. Normally, the seeker would think twice before doing something like this, but he was having a very off day. Stupid Vehicons and their jokes, how dare they mock him!
"Starscream, don't do-" Knockout was cut off by an angry buzz which released brilliant lights of electricity into Starscream's frame; in short, baking the seeker to a dark crispy color.
"…that." The medic sighed before fishing out his medical kit from subspace.
Okay, today wasn't starting out to go, but it'll die down eventually, right?
"Slag this tech!" He couldn't get these stupid lights to work right.
"Um… Commander Starscream, maybe you should call Soundwave for assistance." One Vehicon mumbled.
"Oh, of course I should call that imbecile of a con to do my electrical work!" Starscream barked, shaking his helm in annoyance.
"I-It was only a suggestion, sir." This only irritated the seeker even more. "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it, now leave!"
"Y-yes, si-" He didn't get to finished. It was like déjà vu, a simple spark and Starscream was, once again, smelling like BBQ.
"ARG, FRAG THIS PLANET!"
"Starscream, I thought you knew better then to do your own electrical work." Knockout lectured with an amused smirk. It sounded like he was talking to a sparkling.
"I could handle it on my own!" Starscream barked back. He hissed and whimpered when Knockout tugged at a sensitive cable located on his wing.
The red mech shook his helm, "You never were a good electrician."
"Says who?"
"Everyone. Especially Soundwave."
"That aft blasted, worthless pile of scrap metal has nothing compared to my genius, he-Ouch!" Knockout smirked and welded two pieces of Starscream's armor back together. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to fly, at least, not until you fully recovered from your…Akem… incident." There was that stupid smirk of his!
Who was he to tell the mighty Starscream not to fly! That was the most idiotic thing he's ever heard of.
"I'll do whatever I please, Knockout!" Before the medic could protest, and he honestly didn't want to, Starscream was up and out of the med bay.
The medic only sighed and shook his helm in disapproval. "He's going to get slagged."
"AHH!"
Knockout smirked, and prepared his tools for some more surgery on the seeker.
"Um… Commander…" Starscream sighed and glared the Vehicon, "What!"
The other mech pointed hesitantly at the large Energon pie that lay on Starscream's lap. "I don't think you should eat that, I think it's out of date."
"Oh, shut up you worthless scrap heap! I'm Second in Command; I'll eat whatever I want, when I want too!" He tore a piece off and gobbled it down.
The Vehicon watched with hidden amusement as Starscream's metal faceplate became an interesting color of green. The seeker fell over and choked out. "Bah! Get Knockout!"
"Yes, sir!"
Okay someone was doing something to make the seeker's life pit. But who, and why?
"Get your toast out with a fork."
"Do your own electrical work."
There was that song again! And like the first, it was singing about the events that just happened!
"Teach yourself how to fly." Okay, they had to be here somewhere!
"Eat a two week old, unrefrigerated pie." Starscream pulled open his door again and examined the hallways for any sign of life. Still there was none to be found.
"Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die." The song was still playing! Maybe if he followed the music it'll lead him to the culprit!
"Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die."
Starscream ran as fast as possible; the music leading him to the directions of his soon-to-be victim! He could see the rec-room up ahead.
"So, it was Soundwave this whole time!" Starscream growled pushing more energy into his legs, this time eager to kill then too discover!
A sudden idea came to mind. Starscream crackled evilly as his plan formulated. He stood up straight and walked to the door in a civilized manner. He gave three hard knocks against the metal door.
There was some shuffling heard from inside before the door opened. The music was still playing.
"Invite a psycho killer inside."
'Psycho killer, huh? How fitting.'
Soundwave stared at Starscream, his facial expressions were of course unreadable thanks to his mask, but Starscream was sure he was shocked.
"Awe, Soundwave, so good to see you." Starscream poured every ounce of sarcasm he could into that sentence.
The mech tilted his head to the side; questioning the seeker's visit.
"Oh, I was just walking along until I heard this strange music playing from your quarters." He hoped it to pit that it startled that stupid mech.
Soundwave gave a small nod, and opened the door the rest of the way, inviting the seeker inside. Now Starscream was startled. Just what was this mech up to?
Well, he'll have to play it off as if it didn't bother him.
"Scratch a drug dealer's brand new right."
"Take your helmet of in outer space."
"Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place."
The music was louder than ever and as Starscream moved in closer he could see multiple different screens playing. Someone where actually of him and somewhere of strange colorful creatures?
Three sparklings sat in front of the screens, eyeing them with interest and awe.
"Soundwave," Starscream growled turning to said con. "What exactly is going on here? What are these sparklings watching, and why are some of them of me?"
One sparkling, a blue and purple one, looked up and grinned, before nudging the other two and pointing at Starscream, "Hey, it's the mech from the videos!"
Starscream frowned, his reputation as a killer con was slowly falling down the well.
"What is going on here, I demand to know why my luck has been at its worst for the past two days and why I'm on TV!" The sparklings just laughed at Starscream's outburst.
"Didn't you hear?" Another sparkling, this time it was a green mech, "Lord Megatron thought it would be a good idea for us to learn how to be safe and said you were suppose to give us demonstrations."
Wait what! Demonstrations? He never agreed to such idiocy.
"Soundwave…" Starscream hissed glaring daggers at his fellow con. Before the seeker had time to back hand the mech and strangle him. Something small and warm wrapped itself around his legs, from the knees down. Starscream turned to glare at the things and gasped when he realized it was the sparklings hugging him.
"Thank you, for teaching us to be safe, Commander Starscream." The trio cooed nuzzling their tiny faces against Starscream's metal.
The seeker was torn between shoeing them away and cooing back at the display of cuteness. A much larger body of warm wrapped itself around Starscream.
"You're a great teacher, Starscream." Soundwave said with a happy sigh. The seeker frowned, "Don't' push your luck, fragger, or you'll be the one who ends up 'Dumb Ways to Die'."
AN: Okay, I know there is probably a lot of grammar mistakes and such, but I'm still learning how to write a decent chapter to please bear with me on this. Anyways, this idea came from my sister who wouldn't stop begging me to write it and being the sap I am I agreed to write it XD.
As always I don't own anything. 'Dumb Ways to Die' belongs to DumbWays2Die. I hope you guys like this and thank you all for your reviews. Love you guys! If you have any requests leave them in the reviews or message me on PM :D Hope you have an awesome weekend!