Mikasa wakes up in a big and really soft bed; Carla curled up at her side. The sky is covered in clouds, the cold air crashing against the tall windows.

Soft knocks in the door make her sit, and she clears her throat before saying 'come in'.

Historia walks in, her gown and her crown making her look like the true queen she was, the purple bags under her eyes giving away the weight she carries.

"Armin and I will be in a meeting. You can come if you want to" she sits at the end of the bed, her hand resting above Mikasa's feet.

"Carla needs me now" she shakes her head, her hand coming up to touch her daughter' shoulder.

"Okay" Historia nods, sending her a small smile before standing up "You can come in whenever you want. We need people with experience in there" she walks out, stopping in the door for a moment "I really want Eren to come back. As Historia, not as a queen" she leaves with that, and Mikasa wants to smile.

Historia had been kind, not hesitating in giving them everything they would need. Until they could get their home, they would be staying in the castle. Mikasa doesn't like being dependable, but what else can a pregnant mother do in times like that?

She doesn't want to think she's alone, but she thinks that she has to be realistic. Eren could have sacrificed himself, saving hundreds of people that arrived to the walls before the titans, Armin, Mikasa and Carla included.

Now, however, titans were all around the sealed Wall Maria while they were safe in wall Sina.

Carla starts to move at her side, and she pushes those thoughts away.

"Good morning, sweetie" she whispers, leaning down to kiss the girl's cheek.

"Morning, mom" Carla mumbles, her eyes opening as she yawns "Morning" she kisses Mikasa's belly, looking up at her mother frowning "Where is dad?" she asks, rubbing her eyes and yawing again. Like Eren, Carla wasn't a morning person.

"He still hasn't come back" she pushes Carla's hair behind her ear, an almost smile in her lips. Not a happy one, though, and Carla notices.

"Is he still out there fighting titans?"

Mikasa knows they have never named those monsters in front of her. Carla knew next to nothing in regards of their past, they made sure of that. Always speaking when she was asleep, never saying the word. Never discussing it unless she was out. How could she know?

"Carla, where did you hear that?" she grabs her daughters shoulders when she avoids her, forcing the child to look at her in the eye "Carla, answer me! Where did you hear about titans?!"

"Some people were talking about it yesterday!" Carla looks down, somewhere between ashamed and scared "They were talking about you, and dad and Uncle Armin. Is it true?"

Mikasa closes her eyes, her arms falling limp at her sides. Years trying to hide it, and she had to hear it from someone else.

"Mom? Is it true that you were in the military? And you were worth a hundred soldiers?" Carla looks almost excited.

"Carla, I'll tell some other time, alright? Not now" she shakes her head. The military is not something exciting; it's not something that makes you feel happy or even interested. She can see Eren's younger face, the excitement in his eyes and how that changed in their first expedition. She can see the heavy weight on his shoulders, the shadow that didn't leave his eyes. The ghost of every comrade he couldn't save.

Silence floods the room, their breathing the only sound.

"Is dad coming back?" Carla whispers, her questions hanging in the air for a moment.

Mikasa hates lying, even more to her own daughter. She doesn't dare to look at Carla's face.

She stays quiet.

"Mikasa" Armin nods to her; placing his tray between mother and daughter "Carla" he kisses her cheek, the girl giving him a small smile.

"Hey" Mikasa barely lifts her eyes, a frown present in her forehead.

"Are you okay? I need to tell you something" Armin places his hand on her head, worry washing over his features.

"Just a little headache, nothing to worry about" she shakes her head, her connecting eyes with his "What happened?"

"Right now, the Garrison is all over Wall Maria, checking for any signal of Eren. If- when he comes back, they will clear a path and open the gates for him" Carla clenches her hand around Armin's arm, hope slowly coming back to her eyes.

"Uncle Armin" she speaks, her voice loud and clear for both Mikasa and Armin "I want to get into the military"

"No!" Mikasa and Armin both almost shout, their voices rising over other conversations around them.

"What? Why not?" Carla stands, their eyes following her as she takes a step back.

"Carla, please understand, the military is a dangerous place" Armin sighs, standing and trying to place his hands over her shoulders.

"But you joined it! I'm not weak, I can do it!" Carla screams, her fist hitting her chest as she speaks.

"That's why we are telling you not to! We were- I am- part of the military, Carla, you have to understand! This got nothing to do with weakness. You're only nine!" Armin looks almost angry, his eyes filled with concern for the child of his best friends.

"Shut up, shut up! You don't understand! I want my dad back, he'd understand!" she turns around, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes tightly shut.

"Carla" Mikasa stands, a hand over her belly and the other reaching for her daughter "We need to speak"

This is it. This is the time they had dreaded for so long. And she had to do it alone.

She doesn't tell Carla everything; she knows it's too much for a child. She stops when her eyes fill with tears and when her heart aches for her comrades.

Her voice dies when the memories are too much, and when she can see in Carla's eyes the understanding.

Her child places her head in her mother's lap, Mikasa's hand running through her hair as the girl whispers how much she misses her father, and how she doesn't need to keep going, she understands now.

Carla whispers to her mother, her voice asking for stories of better times, of happy memories and nice feelings.

She gets nostalgic smiles and funny moments of people long dead, tears from the woman that loves her most and light kisses in her hair.

She's almost asleep, the soothing voice of her mother far away, when Armin's yells make her open her eyes.

"Mikasa! Carla! Eren was seen outside the walls!"