To Be or Not To Be

by thesebigcitydreams

Dan Howell is an aspiring actor, Phil Lester is his boyfriend of 5 years. Dan gets the role in a play that he's been dreaming about all his life. What will happen when tragedy strikes? Will Dan still continue his dream? Will everything be okay? Read for more! WARNINGS: Terminal illness, pre-smut, angst, swearing.

6. Chapter 6

Phil sighed as the phone rang once again. He was at work, he really couldn't answer. But.. Maybe it was Dan. He sneaked a look around the office before quickly answering the call from Louise in a hushed voice.

"Louise!" He scolded. "I am at work and have to keep my phone clear in case Dan needs me!"

'Phil, it is about Dan.' She whispered, barely audible.

He completely ignored being quiet and screamed. "What?! What happened to my Dan?!" Everyone in the office stared.

'He collapsed Phil.. The doctors think this might be it.. He's very ill..' She sobbed.

Tears filled up his eyes as he screamed 'no' repeatedly. His boss came in yelling as Phil was already up and putting his coat on.

"Lester! If you leave you're fired!"

Phil turned around with teary eyes. "I don't give a fuck! He's dying! My Dan is dying!" He sobbed. "My lover.. My best friend.. The only happiness I've ever had is in the hospital dying.." He fell to the floor sobbing as his boss just scoffed and stormed out.

His coworker Zoe stood up and went over to him. "Phil I'm so so sorry.. You're in no condition to drive. I'm taking you to the hospital."

"You'll very fired too.." He whispered.

"I wouldn't want to work for a heartless man anyway." She gave a small smile before helping him up and walking to her car.

'This is it..' Phil thought. 'This is the last time I will see my Bear..' And after that, he completely shut down.

"Phil!" Louise called and ran into his arms sobbing as she finally saw him.

"Where is he?.. Is he gone?.." Phil whispered.

"I don't know.. He is in surgery.. Apparently he needs a kidney.. His dad is on his way to donate it.."

Phil nodded but was still numb. Dan had to go through this all by himself.. And he still didn't call because Phil would've lost his stupid job.

'I should've just stayed home with him.. It was a bad night. I knew he was in pain. I should've stayed..' Phil thought over and over.

"You look exhausted.. Let's sit down in the waiting area." Louise suggested.

Phil nodded and sat down in one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs next to Louise. He felt his eyes getting heavy, and before he knew it, images of Dan when he was 18 and so healthy flooded his mind, sending Phil to a safe haven (even if it were only temporary).