Usual disclaimer applies.
Enjoy!
March, 2012
~30~
I have seen enough.
I lean over between the two kid's heads and turn off the screen. Both of them jump a mile out of their seats, but relax slightly when they realize I'm not a teacher.
I slam my fists down on the desk, making the keyboard fly.
"You better tell me where the fuck you got this, and you better tell me right now."
With wild eyes seeking out an escape, sweat glistening on his forehead, one speaks up.
Smart kid.
"I-I dunno… Everyone has it, everyone has seen it. It's going around, okay?"
I grunt out a noise of disgust and exit the room.
~SW~
On my way to the shop class to see Sam, Jasper falls into step with me.
"Hey Bella!"
The boy looks so damn hopeful, smiling widely, eyes seeking contact with mine. I can't help but smile back.
I suck.
"What's up Jasper?"
"Hey well I was thinking of having a couple people over, cool ones, you know? There's a game tonight, Monday Night Baseball. It would be great if you could come and, um, bring any friends you want."
So damn nervous.
I sigh. "Jasper, baseball really isn't my thing. I'm more of a football girl."
Jasper seeks out my eyes, and after a few moments of careful deliberation, recognizes that I won't be changing my mind.
The hurt is still too fresh, too painful.
"Okay Bella. Well, let me know if you change your mind."
He wanders off in the direction of his friends, Edward included. I make eye-contact with Edward, and before I can look away, he gives me a little smile, a secret smile.
I don't smile back.
~SW~
Just like I predicted, Sam is in the shop working on his bike.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I question.
Sam gestures the go-ahead.
"In private," I qualify, raising my eyebrows in question.
Sam nods, and gestures towards the storage room where students can keep their belongings while in the shop, or their jumpsuits for when they are elsewhere.
Standing in the small room, practically nose to nose with Sam, I suddenly feel vulnerable, like I'm almost to the point of tears.
And I don't like to cry.
Is it because the sickening feeling of being violated and defiled has re-emerged within me while watching that video? Do I feel the hurt all over again that I had thought was buried deep down, a long time ago?
Maybe it's just everything.
With Mom.
With Carlisle.
With Edward.
With Jasper.
It's all too much.
"Hey... Hey, Bella. Shhh. It's okay Honey."
Sam gathers me in his arms, leaning his cheek on the top of my head. One hands glides up and down my back while the other holds me tight around my ribcage. Only then do I realize there are tears running smoothly down my cheeks.
Like I said, I suck.